So when he eased her shirt up over her head, unhooked her bra and slipped it off, then pulled his own shirt off, she told herself that as long as they stopped there, it would be okay. She knew that every step closer they took to making love was a step they couldn’t reverse. And maybe Lily Ann couldn’t catch them, but that didn’t change the fact that she was there. And having sex with a man while his five-year-old daughter slept down the hall just seemed unscrupulous.
But then Joe was kissing her, and touching her, and in her estrogen-soaked brain the line of morality started to go all gray and fuzzy.
As long as we keep it above the waist, she told herself, which was ironically an instant before she felt his hand on her inner thigh.
Bad, her brain scolded, this is very bad. The problem was that it didn’t feel bad. It felt really good. Which was why, instead of telling him to stop when his hand slid upward, over the crotch of her shorts, a whimper came out instead.
Okay, so maybe it wasn’t that bad, as long as he didn’t go further than touching the outside of her shorts. Or at least the top of her panties, she reasoned, as he tugged the snap on her shorts free, slid the zipper down and slipped his hand inside…. Bypassing her panties altogether and going straight for the gold.
She moaned and arched against his hand and Joe mumbled in a hoarse voice, something about her being wet, which she didn’t doubt was true. She was so hot for him, so turned on, the ache between her thighs so acutely intense, she could barely breathe. And thank goodness Joe didn’t have a zipper or snap to fumble with, just a narrow elastic waistband. Underwear wasn’t an impediment either since he wasn’t actually wearing any.
Her hand closed around his erection, thick and silky and hot, and Joe hissed out a breath. Knowing that it had been so long for him, and that she would be the first, that he trusted her, wanted her, made her wish that things were different, that she could stay here forever. Be the woman he deserved. Until she had to go, she would try to be. She wished she could give him everything he needed and more. She just hoped that was the right thing to do. What he needed.
You’re overthinking this, she told herself. Just go with it. Enjoy it while you can.
Then Joe moaned and shuddered in her arms, and she stopped thinking altogether.
* * *
Reily was still asleep when she became aware of Joe curled up behind her, his hand cupping her breast, the heat of his chest warming her bare back.
Nice.
She couldn’t recall actually falling asleep, but obviously they must have. As good as it felt to be snuggled close to him, to feel his arm draped across her waist and his warm breath on the back of her neck, she needed to go. Fooling around behind a locked door was one thing, but spending the night was out of the question.
She pried open her eyes, confused as to why the room looked so bright. Had they left a light on? She eased out from under Joe’s arm so she wouldn’t wake him and leaned over to get a glimpse of the digital clock on the bedside table.
Her heart nearly stopped. Eight-fifteen?
That couldn’t be right.
She blinked and rubbed her eyes, blinked again, looking over just in time to see the digital readout switch to eight-sixteen.
They’d slept all night?
Her heart slithered down to her knees. How could she have let this happen? How could she have been so careless? She could only hope that Lily Ann was a late riser and still in bed. And if she was awake, how was Reily going to explain the fact that she’d been in Daddy’s bedroom all night?
She looked around for her clothes. She found the tank top on the floor beside the bed, but her bra seemed to have vanished into thin air. She would have to look for it later. She needed to make a quick escape.
She pulled her shirt on, cringing when she noticed her reflection in the mirror above the dresser. Her hair was disheveled and her eyeliner smeared. But it wasn’t as if anyone was going to see her that way. She crept to the door, pressing her ear against it, listening for the sound of the television from the living room. When she didn’t hear anything, she turned the knob, wincing as the lock released with a loud snap that seemed to echo through the silence. She peered out into the hallway, her knees going weak with relief when she saw that Lily Ann’s bedroom door was still closed.
She could still slip out unnoticed.
She padded across the hall in bare feet and down the stairs. She cringed as the floor creaked and moaned with each step. She breathed a sigh of relief when she reached the bottom undetected and dashed for the kitchen, stopping dead in her tracks when she saw Sue standing at the sink, filling the coffeepot with tap water.
Sue must have heard someone come down the stairs because she said, “Good morning.” Then she turned, blinking in surprise when she saw that it was not Lily Ann or Joe, who she would naturally have been expecting, but Reily.
A witness to her walk of shame. Wonderful.
Reily folded her arms across her chest, hoping to cover the fact that she wasn’t wearing a bra, when really, that was the least of her problems. “This is not how it looks.”
Sue looked past her, smiled and said, “Good morning, Lily Ann.”
Reily turned to find Lily Ann standing behind her, still in her pajamas, rubbing her eyes. When she noticed Reily standing there, she smiled. “Hi, Reily!”
Holy crap, talk about cutting it close.
“Are you watching me again today?” Lily Ann asked.
“I wish I could, honey, but I have to work today.”
“Then why did you come over?”
“Um…” She didn’t know what to say, what sort of fib would sound plausible to a five-year-old, especially one as smart as Lily Ann.
“Reily came over to have breakfast with us,” Sue said, giving Reily a wink. “Isn’t that nice?”
“Cool,” Lily Ann said with a sleepy smile. She didn’t seem to notice that Reily was wearing the same clothes she’d had on yesterday or the fact that she looked as if she’d just rolled out of bed. “Can we have waffles? The blueberry kind.”
“Sure, sweetie. Why don’t you go watch cartoons while I fix them.”
“Can I have juice?”
Sue poured juice into a plastic cup and handed it to Lily Ann, who shuffled off to the living room. A few seconds later Reily heard the television switch on.
“Thank you,” Reily told Sue. “I had no idea what to tell her.”
“Well, now you have to stay,” Sue said, gesturing to the kitchen table. “Have a seat.”
“I can imagine what you’re thinking right now,” Reily said, sitting down.
Sue poured the water into the coffeemaker. “I’m thinking that whatever Joe chooses to do in the privacy of his bedroom is none of my business.”
“I just don’t want you to think that I’m…you know, slutty.”
She pulled a filter and a can of coffee from the cupboard. “Then you shouldn’t worry, because I don’t think that at all.”
“We’re not sleeping together.” She frowned and added, “Okay, so we did sleep, we just didn’t sleep together. If that makes sense.”
“Not really,” she said, measuring the grounds into the filter. “But like I said, it’s none of my business.”
And the more Reily tried to explain herself, the guiltier she was sounding. She just didn’t want Sue to think that she had anything but Lily Ann’s best interest in mind.
“Good morning.”
Reily turned to see Joe standing in the kitchen doorway. He was dressed in the same shorts as the night before, dark stubble shadowed his jaw and his hair was smashed flat on the left side of his head. He looked adorable.
“Good morning,” Sue said, opening the freezer and peering inside. “Would you look at that, we’re out of waffles. I’d better go down to the basement and grab another box from the
chest freezer. And maybe I’ll throw a load of laundry in while I’m down there.”
“Lily Ann’s clothes are by the washer,” Reily said. “We had ice cream. I meant to wash them last night.” Until someone had talked her out of it, she thought, shooting Joe a look.
“I’ll take care of it,” Sue said, disappearing down the stairs.
“You’re here early,” Joe said, walking over to the coffeemaker, scowling when he realized it was still brewing.
“I’m not here early,” she said in a harsh whisper. “I never left! We fell asleep last night.”
“I guess that explains why your hair’s all messy.” He propped his hip against the countertop, eyes drifting lower. “And why you’re not wearing a bra.”
She folded her arms to cover herself. “I couldn’t find it.”
“I was sleeping on it,” Joe said.
That would explain it. “Luckily I woke up before Lily Ann. I would have had a hell of a time explaining why I slept over.”
Joe shrugged. “Slumber party?”
She glared at him. Why was he being so blasé about this? “That’s not funny. I don’t understand why you’re not taking this more seriously. She could have seen me sneaking from your room at eight in the morning.”
“But she didn’t. We’ll just be more careful next time.”
She shook her head. “No. From now on the bedroom is off-limits.”
He sighed. “Reily—”
“I mean it, Joe.”
“You didn’t have fun last night?”
Last night had been…wow. They had lain there wrapped in each other’s arms, kissing and touching, making each other feel good. It was almost like being a teenager again, but without the fumbling and awkwardness and the adolescent insecurities. There was no doubt that Joe knew exactly what to do to please a woman. In fact, she never imagined that a man normally so reserved and guarded with his emotions could be so…passionate. And they hadn’t even made love yet.
Yet. It was inevitable, she knew it. And she wanted to. It felt like the next natural step. But it wouldn’t happen until they were alone. If that meant renting a room at the Sunrise for a night, so be it. And after last night, that didn’t sound like such a bad idea. Of course, that would never happen while his mother was staying there. Plus, the owner was a regular at Joe’s Place, which meant that eventually the entire town would hear about it. Not that she cared what anyone thought, but maybe it would be better if they found a place in the next town over or even in Denver. Which would just look as if they had something to hide or were doing something inappropriate.
She sighed to herself.
She knew the logistics could be a little tricky with Lily Ann in the picture, but never imagined it would be this complicated.
“So, is that a no?” Joe asked.
She looked up at him. “No?”
“I asked you if you had fun last night.”
And she’d been too busy wrestling with her guilty conscience to answer him. “No. I mean, no, it’s not a no. It’s a yes. I had a lot of fun last night. I just can’t help feeling that what we’re doing, at least when we do it in your bedroom with Lily Ann in the house, is somehow immoral.”
“This really bothers you, doesn’t it?”
She nodded.
He shrugged. “Okay, I guess we’re back on the couch then.”
“You’re sure?”
“The last thing I want is for you to be uncomfortable, Reily. We’ll figure something out. Maybe Lily Ann can spend the night at a friend’s house.”
An entire night alone with Joe. The idea gave her a little shiver of excitement. But then Sue came up the stairs, ending the conversation. Reily helped her make breakfast. They all ate together around the kitchen table, and she felt almost as if she was part of the family. For a minute she let herself daydream about what it would be like if they were a real family. Waking every morning in Joe’s arms, fixing breakfast and getting Lily Ann ready for kindergarten—which she had excitedly told Reily would start in a month. And maybe even having a baby. A little boy who had Joe’s dark hair and deep brown eyes.
But that was all it was, a dream. She had plans, and as much as she might wish that Joe would wait for her, until her career was established and she was ready to settle down, he deserved better than that. He would forget about her. He would find someone who would be everything he needed in a small-town wife and he would marry her and they would live happily ever after. God knows he deserved it after everything he’d been through. She wanted him to be happy, even if that meant being happy with someone other than her.
After breakfast she went home to get ready for work, then Joe hiked her bike into the bed of his truck and they drove to the bar together.
It was a slow day, with very few tips to add to her savings. When Reily’s shift ended at four she rode her bike home, thinking that maybe she would give Sue a break and take Lily Ann to the park. She pulled into the driveway, recognizing the car parked across the street and the woman sitting inside.
Chapter Fourteen
Joe’s mom sure was persistent, wasn’t she?
Ignoring her, Reily parked her bike by the side of the garage and headed up to her apartment to drop her backpack off and change into shorts.
When she heard a knock on the door, she knew exactly who it was.
Joe’s mom was dressed in an African-print caftan that seemed to dwarf her already frail appearance, sandals and clunky, wood-bead jewelry.
“Can we talk?” she asked.
Very persistent.
And because Reily felt sorry for her, or maybe because she was a big pushover, she opened the door and let her inside.
“We weren’t formally introduced. I’m Veronica.”
“I’m Reily,” she said, accepting her outstretched hand. It was so small and frail Reily worried that the slightest pressure might splinter the bones.
“The last time I was up here it was used for storage.” Veronica gazed around the small room, then back at Reily. “I’m assuming, since you live here and not in the house, that you aren’t Joe’s wife.”
“No, I’m not.” His mother looked so tired and pale, Reily gestured to a chair. “Would you like to sit down?”
“Yes, thank you.” She dropped into the chair as if her legs simply couldn’t hold her another second.
“Are you okay? I mean, no offense, but you don’t look so good. Do you need me to call someone for you?”
“I look much worse than I feel. I’m still building my strength back up. The stairs just took a lot out of me.”
“Joe mentioned that you were sick.”
“Breast cancer,” she said. “But we caught it early, so the prognosis is very good. But as you can imagine, going through something like this has a way of making you consider your mortality and think about the mistakes you’ve made and the wrongs that need righting.”
Reily sat in the opposite chair. “Like Joe.”
“I don’t expect him to forgive me. What I did to him and his dad was unforgivable. But I feel as if he deserves the truth. Which is difficult when he refuses to talk to me.”
“Did you expect a heartwarming family reunion?”
“Of course not. But I figured by now he would have come around, if for no other reason than to get rid of me. He’s so…stubborn.”
Reily folded her arms. “I can’t imagine who he gets that from.”
Veronica smiled sheepishly. “You know, I was only sixteen when I met Joey’s dad. My father was a Baptist minister and very strict, and I was going through a rebellious phase, and dating an older man seemed the perfect way to do it.”
“How much older?”
“Joe was twenty-nine.”
Reily’s eyes went wide.
“He didn’t know I wa
s so young. I lied and told him I was twenty. By the time he learned the truth, I was already pregnant. You can imagine how upset he was. Of course he did the right thing and asked me to marry him, but I told him no. I wasn’t ready to be a wife and mother. I hadn’t even graduated high school.”
“You weren’t married to Joe’s dad?”
“No, I was. My parents forced me into it. They said that if I didn’t marry him, they would have him brought up on rape charges. I was under the age of consent, so there was no doubt that he would go to prison. I didn’t love him and I sure didn’t want to be married, but I knew he was a good man and I couldn’t bear the thought of ruining his life, so I gave in. I dropped out of school and got married.”
“And had Joe.”
“When I was seventeen. But it was a disaster right from the start. Joe Senior wanted a wife who would be happy to cook and clean and have his babies. That just wasn’t me. I was a terrible cook and a lousy housekeeper and an even worse mother. He and I fought constantly. I knew they would both be better off without me, so I left. I figured he would meet some nice woman, someone who could love them the way I never could. He would marry her and have a couple more kids and they would forget all about me.”
It was funny that just that morning Reily had been thinking the same thing about Joe. That it would be so easy for him to replace her. But what if it wasn’t? What if, like his dad, Joe never found someone else?
“For the first couple of years I sent birthday cards and Christmas gifts, but they always came back unopened. I assumed it was because Joe had remarried and started a new family. That’s why I never tried to contact Joey. I guess I felt like I didn’t have the right after the way I abandoned him.”
She looked so sad, so full of regret, Reily couldn’t help but feel bad for her. But everyone made choices, and they had to live with them.
“How is it that no one has recognized you? There must be some people in town who knew you.”
“I look different than I used to. Besides being much older, I had a bad accident about fifteen years ago. I needed reconstructive surgery.”
No Ordinary Joe Page 15