by Tara Pammi
She pushed away the need in her to one corner, the cascading hurt to another.
“I know that the media focus is going to be on us for a little longer, but I still would like to be more than your arm candy and apparently, ‘the recipient of scorn and envy of a number of your ex-girlfriends’,” she said quoting from one article she had read today.
All she had done was scan the internet for world news as was her habit with coffee. Instead, she had opened the Pandora’s box of Stefan Bianco’s exes and their reaction about his wedding.
It was a long list comprising models, actresses and singers that even a pretend wife could get insecure about.
He frowned, looking at her as though she had sprouted another head. “Mi scusi?”
It seemed walking away from his embrace cost her every brain cell she possessed. The man kissed like he did everything—with absolute dedication. Her lips still tingled, her breasts felt heavy and her entire body was one pealing mass of sensation.
Marshaling her thoughts, she began again. “I’m beginning Phase One of my reincarnation, beginning a life that’s not defined by whose wife or fiancée I am. I have received a couple of callbacks on some jobs I applied to. Hopefully...”
He started shaking his head and her words trailed off. “Not necessary, I—”
“If you make one comment about me mooching off of you—”
Thunder danced in his eyes. “Keep that delectable mouth closed, cara, or I know of a very enjoyable way now to do it for you. Christian told me just last week that the charity the four of us runs needs a manager. I think you’d be a good fit for it.”
Clio blinked and stared. “Are you serious?”
“Dio, bella! Why are you so doubtful about your own abilities? Where is the woman who thought everything in life was a challenge she had to rise to?”
Clio flinched. More at the fact that she had no answer rather than from his tone.
He clasped her cheeks and lifted her chin. His gaze was awash in tenderness. The unexpected gentling of his mouth mocked her doubts. “Yes, I’m serious. I would never tease you about this, Clio.
“Instead of turning your back on all those connections your name brings, instead of turning away from the powerful friends you have, instead of stubbornly refusing your new status as my wife, use them, bella.
“Use them to further your career, use them to help someone who’s never had the advantages we had, use them to make whatever you want of yourself, Clio.
“You’ve already conquered the hardest obstacle by staying the course on what we started, by showing Jackson what you’re made of.”
“But I swore to make something of myself, Stefan. If I—”
“Nothing will come of all the resources and connections of your family and background if you aren’t smart enough to channel them properly, Clio.”
A lightness filling her, Clio wrapped her arms around her waist. She wanted to hug him so bad. But he wouldn’t like it.
“That is, after and if you ever find something on Jackson.”
“I will,” Clio said with utter confidence. “It’s just a matter of time.”
“Then make that time now, Clio. As long as we carry on this pretense, you already have a full-time job of being my adoring wife.”
“Believe me, it’s not easy to remember the adoring part,” she quipped.
With a deft aim, he threw a plastic spoon at her.
The way his eyes lit up, he reminded her of when he had been so carefree and affectionate and open. The memory that smile brought was so strong that she stared at him greedily.
“My board members and their wives are dying to meet you. And my assistant tells me we’ve been invited to several dinners and charity galas, in and out of New York.”
“I should probably charge you for making me into a glorified escort.”
“I think escorts provide other services, bella.” He sent her such a scorching look that Clio should have combusted on the spot. “Are you offering?”
“Do you want to start our fairy-tale marriage with domestic assault, Bianco?”
He grinned and it was like her own personal sun had dawned in the living room, filling her with his warmth inside out. “No, Mrs. Bianco,” he countered smoothly. “I’d like to start it with a kiss from my wife.”
Robbed of speech, Clio stared back. It shouldn’t bother her. It was just a technicality. He was teasing her.
Still, the words clung to her like a physical brand on her skin.
Apparently satisfied that he had shocked her, he forked a piece of pancake into his mouth. The usually scornful curve of his mouth relaxed with a sigh.
“It’s not my fault that they all want to meet you. Apparently, you’re an asset any sensible man would be lucky to have.”
“Of course. Let’s not forget how valuable my blue blood and where I come from are. Because there couldn’t be any other reason in the world that a man would want me, right?”
“Do not put words in my mouth, bella. But I will tell you this because you seem to be forgetting it. It took guts to tie yourself to me, Clio. If you didn’t know it before, you know it now, sì? I will give you nothing but what you have rightfully earned from me.
“Yet you didn’t back off. It took guts to start on the path to reclaim yourself. It took guts to take a stand on what matters to you when Jackson used those filthy words for you.
“You’re far stronger than you give yourself credit for. Now find something on Jackson during the day while you dazzle the world as my wife at night.”
Clio stared at his back, his words ringing in her ears.
He was right. That decision had entirely been hers. But only two days in, she wondered if it was more dangerous than courageous.
* * *
Dazzle the world was what they did and they did it so well that even Clio couldn’t tell where the pretense ended and where reality began.
Charity galas and dinners with influential, powerful men from all over the world, sometimes in New York, once in Hong Kong and once in London—from visiting art galleries to the charity-sponsored schools and shelters all over the world.
And everywhere they went—big or small—the media followed them.
In just a couple of weeks, Clio and Stefan had been almost around the world aboard his private jet and had become the media’s favorite couple to talk about.
Frustrated more than once about hitting a wall with Jackson’s financials, Clio had taken to alternately learning as much as she could about the charity that Rocco, Christian, Stefan and Zayed had set up to help underprivileged kids in so many cities complete degrees through scholarships and find jobs.
The range and scope of the charity stole her breath. It made her immensely proud to learn of the continuing resources and time all four of them poured into it and excited her beyond limit that she could be a part of something so fulfilling.
And wherever Stefan and she landed after their marriage, she wanted to be a part of it for the rest of her life, could see herself carve a path through it.
In a weird twist of fate, she was enjoying the pretend life with Stefan more than she had enjoyed her real one with Jackson for three years, even though it was essentially the same kind of life—jet-setting, networking, showing off, making and breaking deals over dinner and drinks.
The man at the center of it, however, made all the difference.
Being around Stefan was like being caught in the orbit of a star—invigorating and exciting. And it made her never want to leave. Everywhere she went, she saw acquaintances—some she had known through Jackson—but it seemed like a foregone conclusion that, of course, Stefan was the victor in some fight against Jackson, and she the spoils.
She knew she shouldn’t feel pleasure at that so much, but as Stefan had said, Clio was going to take every small victory. B
ecause the one time they had run into Jackson, he hadn’t dared meet her eyes, much less utter a word.
Only the price she paid for that felt increasingly high.
The most luxurious and spacious suite in one of the finest hotels in New York wasn’t big enough for the both of them.
She felt Stefan’s restlessness at being caged in the suite like a physical force, sensed a loneliness that had hardened into a shell around his emotions.
The only time there were flashes of the old Stefan was when one of his three friends was present. It was the only time she saw genuine laughter in his face.
And the more she saw of this new Stefan, the more she wanted to shatter that shell.
Despite knowing that it was the last thing she should be doing, she couldn’t stop from trying. She had already contacted his parents, was counting the minutes to when they would arrive in New York.
Was desperately praying that he wouldn’t throw her out of that suite the moment he saw them.
* * *
“Your wife is the most beautiful creature I have ever seen,” his fifty-seven-year-old accounts manager gushed and Stefan barely stifled the urge to punch the man’s ruddy face. The old lech had already pawed at Clio when Stefan had introduced her.
Smiling at him, which took quite a considerable effect, he turned away from the man, leaving him midsentence.
“Ready to go home?” he whispered, reaching Clio.
Flinching at the palm resting against her lower back, Clio covered up the wariness in her eyes.
Before she could reply, Stefan’s cell buzzed and he checked the identity of the caller.
It was the hospital where his assistant, Marco, was still struggling for his life. His gaze fell on Jackson in the crowd just as he switched his phone on.
Two minutes into the conversation, grief knocked the breath out of his throat. Turned his gut into an aching chasm.
Not trusting his temper, he marched into the balcony and pushed his fist into the wall. Even the pain that radiated from his knuckles and up his arm was not enough to blunt the pain of losing Marco.
“Stefan?”
He heard more than saw Clio’s hurried steps in the darkness, felt her search for his hand. Distress filled her gaze as she pulled his arm to better see his knuckles.
Her gasp resonated in the lush night. “I have a first-aid kit in the car. Let’s go.” He had a feeling she was barely keeping the tears away.
“No,” Stefan roared, pulling his hand away from her. He had no idea what he would say or do to her. “Leave, Clio. Instruct the chauffeur to drive you home.”
The stubborn woman stayed right where she was, a resolute tint to her chin. “I’m not going anywhere. Not until you tell me why you rammed your fist into the wall like a—” a catch in her throat “—Stefan, please. Tell me what’s going on.”
“My executive assistant, a man who’s been there with me for ten years, through every up and down, he was swindled by Jackson.”
He saw her disbelief in her stunned look. “This man...he was not just an employee?”
Somehow, she had reached the crux of the matter. “No. Marco...he started out with me when I began investing in real estate. He was so loyal and caring that he became important to me, despite the bastard I became. Strange, huh?”
A small smile curved her mouth. “Not really. How much can you deny your own nature, Stefan?” She looked away for a second. “What happened to Marco?”
“He tried to kill himself and was hospitalized. Today, he died, leaving his little girl without a father. A little girl, bella...and that scum is still free to enjoy his caviar out there.”
Instantly, she threw her arms around him. But Stefan saw how pale she had turned. Saw the flash of guilt in her eyes as if she was responsible for Jackson’s actions. Which was why he hadn’t told her so far.
She had enough burden of her own to carry.
“I’m so sorry, Stefan. I...don’t know what to say.”
Untangling himself from her, Stefan looked away. “He did the same to me years ago, Clio.
“It was a year after Serena left. I had struck gold with a few investment ventures and I realized the luxury real estate market was huge and I wanted a big chunk of it.
“I did extensive research and acquired stock in a small trading company. For months, I slogged round the clock, put everything I had into this one venture.
“In just a matter of minutes, the stock I purchased crashed, all the money I invested in it went down the drain. And I was back at square one.
“It was the lowest point of my life. I had lost everything after Serena left, and to be knocked back like that...it made me question everything.
“If it wasn’t for Rocco and Christian and Zayed anchoring me, if it wasn’t for the fact that my father had always taught me to stand up after one of life’s knocks, that would have been me.”
“I’m so sorry for your friend, Stefan. But that would never be you. God, I can’t even bear the thought.”
“I have to stop him, Clio.”
Nodding, she wiped her cheeks roughly. “We will, Stefan. I promise.”
Just as his arms relaxed around her, just as he found the knot in his gut loosening, she stepped away from him. “I’ll...I will leave you alone. See you later.”
“Running away again, bella?” he asked with a mocking smile. “For days now, you have avoided meeting my gaze. You touch me, you smile at me, you kiss me when we are in public and the moment it’s just us, you...can’t wait to run away. How long are we going to continue like this, Clio?”
Her steps faltered and she looked around.
“I won’t let you turn sex into a transaction, Stefan. I won’t join the leagues of women who have slid into this slot you have for them. And you and me...”
“What about you and me, cara?”
“I let one man lock me in a relationship for everything but the right reason. Wanting you, being near you, not touching you, it’s a lesson in itself,” she said, shocking him with her honesty.
Her gaze glittered with a power he hadn’t seen. The way she looked at him—all consuming and without hiding anything—knocked his breath again and in a completely different way. A wave of desire, laced with something else, buckled him.
“But I can’t give in, Stefan. I can’t just have sex with you and pretend like nothing has changed between us.”
Stefan watched in rising fascination and frustration as she walked away without looking back.
Something had changed in her, and something had changed between them.
He didn’t know what. Only that he couldn’t hide from the truth she had so neatly pointed out.
Turning away, he stared into the dark night. He would never be able to reduce Clio into another nameless woman that satisfied his body.
He hadn’t even told the other three how defeated he had felt when he had lost what he had made because of Jackson. How close he had come to giving up and going home in shame to his parents.
Clio made it so easy to depend on her, to confide in her. Even her censure somehow changed him.
He was so desperate to touch her, to brand her, to claim her as his in the most intimate way possible. He couldn’t breathe in that cage without seeing her stamp everywhere.
To tangle with his wife would mean relearning himself because Clio wouldn’t leave him untouched. And that was a risk he couldn’t take.
CHAPTER TEN
THREE WEEKS AFTER their wedding, Stefan had the usual early-morning online meeting with most of his executives around the world. The scent of freshly brewed coffee, which Clio religiously picked up, dragged him into the kitchen as it did every day.
He poured himself a cup, took a sip and watched Clio at the dining table, poring over a bunch of documents and makin
g notes.
A frown tied her brow, her face was rapt, reminding him of the time they had crammed for an exam together years ago.
Suddenly, he felt a burst of warmth in his chest at the sight of her, an almost forgotten sensation.
It had become a ritual—one among numerous others that they had fallen into when they returned to New York between trips around the world.
Sharing a cup of coffee, looking through Jackson’s financials, discussing new initiatives for the charity, and the best of them all for him personally—rediscovering all the little offbeat eateries in different corners of New York they had all used to favor back when they had been at university.
He frowned, suddenly seeing the pattern, the determination with which Clio had dragged him against his will the first couple of times. As if she wanted to erase all the bitterness of his love affair with Serena, the bitterness he had let corrupt his memories of New York and the happy years he had spent here, the aversion he had developed to settling down in one place or making meaningful connections with anyone.
As if she wanted to remind him of his true nature, of the parts of himself he had destroyed to move on in life.
That he hadn’t recognized her intentions until now showed how deep he was into their farce of a relationship.
He was about to interrupt her when he heard the elevator doors open with a swish at the entrance to the suite, followed by familiar voices. Clio instantly went still, the knuckles of the fingers clutching the pink ballpoint pen becoming white.
Feeling an uncomfortable knot in his gut, Stefan made his way through the corridor into the lounge and stared wordlessly.
Wearing a beaming smile, his mother practically ran toward him. Threw her petite form into his arms, uncaring whether he caught her or not.
As it had been for a decade, shame sideswiped Stefan, robbing his ability to speak.
His father, tall and broad like Stefan, was more remote, watching him silently.
He hadn’t seen his father in almost a decade and his mother only a couple of years ago when she had traveled to Villa Mondelli, his friend Rocco’s house in Milan, to see Stefan.