He snorted. ‘I don’t need to hear all this again. Once was more than enough. I’m glad you’ve sorted your feelings now, I just wish I never got caught up in the process.’
‘I’m sorry,’ Jools said, her lower lip wobbling. ‘But don’t take your anger at me out on Eider. You two are too close to let that happen.’
He knew that look—she was close to tears. Maybe she thought if she turned on the waterworks, his anger would melt away and he’d feel bad enough to forgive them.
‘Correction, we were close, but Eider can’t have her cake and eat it too. She’s got you. I’m sure you’ll support her through her illness. But please don’t waste your time, or mine, trying to contact me again.’
And with that, he strode back to his car, climbed inside and sped off down the road out of Rose Hill. As he headed towards Walsh, his breath came in short fast bursts; he felt like he was having a bloody heart attack. The thought of Tab back there, of her likely having overheard that excruciating conversation with Jools, made him feel sick. Despite being teased a little in the staffroom about being caught with Tab last night and the few raised eyebrows he’d got from parents, he’d had a great day at school and had been looking forward to seeing her that evening. But right now he needed to calm the hell down and get his head straight before he spoke to anyone again.
He didn’t want to take his anger out on Tab, so he’d take it out on a few beers instead. Thankfully, the attendant at the drive-in bottle shop was a gangly, pimply guy he hadn’t met before, who looked barely legal to serve and didn’t try to engage him in any conversation, so Ferg bought a six-pack and headed back to the farm.
As he drove down Mrs Lord’s long gravel driveway, Ethan rode past on a quad bike in one of the paddocks and waved; Fergus forced himself to lift his own hand in reply and noticed it was shaking. Damn Jools. And damn Eider. Just when he’d been starting to really get used to life without them, they’d gone and dropped this bombshell.
He wouldn’t wish cancer on his worst enemy and he hoped Eider did recover, but he couldn’t be a part of that process. Watching her and Jools together hurt too damn much.
The shouting stopped as quickly as it had begun, and a few moments later, Tab heard Ferg’s car tear off down the road. She winced as brakes screeched at the corner near the roadhouse and then silence descended on Rose Hill once again. But it didn’t feel like the peaceful quiet that usually surrounded her.
And where on earth was he going? Although he hadn’t planned to come over until later in the evening, she’d assumed that now he was here, he’d stay. Maybe he was going home to feed Mrs Norris first, or maybe he simply didn’t want Julia to see him here, to know there was something going on between them. This squeezed her heart more than it should, but she pushed the feeling aside—this wasn’t about her.
Should she ask her guest to leave? Fergus might not return if he thought she was still there and Tab very much wanted him to return. Or should she go after him instead?
She was still deliberating when the bell on the door downstairs echoed through the old building. Tab froze a moment, wondering what Ferg’s ex might want with her, and then jolted to action, hurrying down the stairs and to the front door.
‘Hi,’ she said when she peeled it back and tried not to recoil at the sight of her guest. Supermodel was no longer a term that came to mind. Her make-up was smudged around her eyes and her nose was running. When she spoke it sounded like she might start crying again at any moment.
‘I’m really sorry, but I’m going to head back to Perth. I’ve done what I came for and …’ Her voice trailed off, then she thrust the guest key at Tab. ‘Anyway, thanks for your hospitality. I’m still happy to pay for the night and I’m sorry for any inconvenience I’ve caused you.’
‘It’s okay,’ Tab said, not sure what to feel for this clearly broken woman as she took back the key. She knew Julia had hurt Fergus beyond repair, but if the shouting had been anything to go by, he’d clearly attempted to give as good as he got.
Julia turned to go but then hesitated. ‘Do you know Fergus well?’ she asked.
Tab swallowed—it was a difficult question for someone terrible at lying.
‘Not really,’ she said eventually. In a few short weeks, she’d grown to care about him and come to know his body like the back of her hand, but she wasn’t delusional enough to think she really knew him. She’d known he was estranged from his sister and that he had a broken engagement but she didn’t know any of the crucial details; he hadn’t trusted her enough to ever properly open up. ‘We’ve hung out a bit because we coach cricket together but—’
That seemed to be enough for Julia. ‘Do you think you could try and talk to him for me? I thought telling him about Eider’s cancer in person would—’
‘His sister has cancer?’ Tab interrupted. Of course it made sense—it was the most common serious illness and touched such a large portion of the population—but it also made this feel more personal. She’d been there herself and her family had been her lifeline while she was going through treatment and surgery and then recovering from the loss of her arm. Without Lawson, Dad and Granny, she reckoned she’d have fallen into a deep black hole during that time, and who knows if she’d have managed to climb out?
‘Yes. And I can’t believe Fergus won’t talk to her.’ Julia sniffed again and this time a tear snuck down her cheek; she absentmindedly swiped it with the back of her hand. ‘He never used to be so cold. I know inside his heart he cares, we just hurt him so bad and I feel so responsible and so helpless. Eider needs him right now more than she’s ever needed him in her life, and considering all they went through as kids, that’s saying a lot. But I don’t know what else I can say, or do, to make him see sense. Maybe you’ll have better luck?’
Tab wasn’t sure that was the case or that it was her place to meddle in Fergus’s business, but at Julia’s desperate tone and the pleading expression on her face, she agreed to at least try. She was also doing it for him—if he didn’t go and see his sister and she lost her battle with cancer, he’d have to live with guilt and remorse for the rest of his life. How could he ever recover from that?
‘Thank you,’ Julia gushed, surprising Tab as she threw her arms around her. ‘Can I give you my mobile number so you can let me know how you go?’
‘Sure.’ Tab went into the building and returned a few moments later with her phone.
Julia tapped her details into Tabitha’s mobile and thanked her again but didn’t dilly-dally any longer—she was eager to get back to Eider.
Once Tab was alone again, she stared at her phone, suddenly doubting what she’d just agreed to. But whether or not she followed through on her promise to Julia, she wanted to check on Fergus.
You okay? She shot off a quick text, then went to double-check that Julia had locked up the B&B properly—not that it would really matter; thanks to the population of zero (only more if you included the ghosts), the crime rate here was non-existent.
When Fergus hadn’t responded five minutes later, Tab didn’t know whether to be annoyed or worried. He’d driven off angry and that was dangerous, but as an ambulance volunteer she would hear if there’d been an accident. The sad, more likely truth, was that he wasn’t in the mood to talk to her. It was his right to shut her out—he didn’t owe her any kind of explanation—but she’d never been good at letting things lie, so when he still hadn’t messaged or reappeared a couple of hours later, she grabbed a tub of choc-coconut ice-cream and climbed into the van. She kept thinking of the pain and anguish in Julia’s eyes, remembering her own battle with cancer and imagining how devastated she’d be if Lawson was gravely ill.
It was dark by the time she slowed her van in front of the cottage and the absence of lights on inside made her uneasy, but his car was parked in the carport, so he had to be here.
‘What are you doing here?’ came his slurred voice from the shadows on the porch as she climbed out of her van. She hadn’t seen him sitting in the rocking chair but
she heard the creaks as he rocked back and forth. Was he drunk?
‘I got sick of waiting for you to come to my place. Did you forget we had an arrangment? I was hoping to learn a few more keys on the accordion.’
‘You should go home. I’m not good company tonight.’
Okay, so he wasn’t in the mood for their usual banter, but if he thought she was that easy to push away, he had another thing coming.
‘You weren’t good company when we first met either, but I haven’t let that scare me off,’ she said, marching up the stairs and dumping her bag and the ice-cream by the door before going over to him to assess the damage. Thanks to the moonlight, she could see four empty beer bottles at his feet. He’d obviously chosen to retreat into the bottle over her and that pricked a little, but she wanted to support him through this. ‘You had anything to eat with these?’
‘Stop fussing,’ he groaned, reaching out and tugging her hand so she fell onto his lap. ‘Hello.’ He grinned a silly, sad smile and her stomach flipped over. Even drunk and with beer-scented breath, this man did terrible, wonderful things to her insides.
‘Hi.’ She smiled resignedly back at him as she cupped his cheek with her hand. ‘Do you want to talk about this afternoon? Julia’s gone now, but she told me why she came.’
Darkness fell across his face like a thunderstorm sweeping across the sky. ‘No. I don’t want to talk about her. Or them. I don’t even want to think about them.’
Tab managed to hold back a sigh as her chest tightened. Why were men so damn infuriating? Why would they rather drink their feelings away than discuss them?
‘Besides,’ Fergus leaned close to her ear, ‘I can think of better things to do with our time than talk.’
Before she could respond, his hand snuck up to cup her breast and she sucked in a breath as he squeezed it, a little rougher than usual but still in a way that set her on fire. A way that made it almost impossible to think. She moaned as his finger circled her nipple through her bra—this was not what she’d come here to do but her objection hadn’t even made it out of her mouth before he smothered it with his.
With his tongue in her mouth, his hand moved lower, sliding—ooh—inside the waistband of her jeans. She squirmed in his lap as she lost herself to the sensations already rippling through her.
‘Man, you are so hot. So gorgeous,’ he breathed as he worked his finger at her core. She was shuddering on top of him in seconds, her head flopping back as he sucked her nipple through her bra as she came. There were no words necessary; within moments, they were both naked from the waist down.
Tab climbed back on top of him, and yelped, gripping the back of the rocking chair as he thrust up into her. Oh. My. God. Maybe Ferg wasn’t that drunk after all as his performance wasn’t substandard in the least. It was definitely different though—he wasn’t as tender as usual. He kissed her hard as he pumped into her and she felt his hands almost digging into her backside. His fervour only made her more aroused and she came harder than she’d ever come before.
‘There now,’ he whispered into her ear as she flopped against his heaving chest, ‘wasn’t that better than talking?’
With the aftershocks still pulsing through her body she had to agree, but she felt frustrated at herself for letting him distract her so easily. Although perhaps now she’d put him in a better mood it would be easier to have the conversation she needed to have with him.
‘Oh shit, the ice-cream’ she said, suddenly remembering it sitting by the front door. And it was a warm night so if they didn’t eat it or put it in the freezer, it would melt.
Ferg grinned. ‘What flavour did you bring?’
‘Why don’t we go inside and you can find out for yourself?’ She stood, yanked up her jeans, then walked over to rescue the ice-cream. Ferg followed her into the house and into the kitchen, where she put it in the freezer. ‘Do you mind if I just freshen up?’ she asked.
‘Sure. Do you want something more to eat than ice-cream? I could make you a cheese toastie.’
‘Your culinary skills astound me,’ Tab replied with a smile, ‘but that sounds wonderful.’ In all the drama of the afternoon, she’d only managed to scoff a couple of biscuits, so a toasted sandwich would fill the hole in her stomach nicely. And while they ate, they could talk.
Tab returned to the kitchen a few minutes later to find Ferg sucking on another bottle of beer, a plate full of toasted sandwich triangles on the bench. ‘What can I get you to drink?’ he asked.
‘Just a glass of water will be fine.’
He filled a glass from the tap at the kitchen sink and then handed it to her. ‘Thanks,’ she said, wondering if she was imagining the awkwardness in the air that felt as if something had shifted between them. She took a long sip, then, ‘Where should we eat?’
‘In front of the TV?’
She nodded, but the problem with this scenario was that talking seriously with an old episode of Seinfeld on in the background was almost impossible.
Or maybe Tab was just chickening out. She wanted him to raise the issue of what had happened with Jools this arvo first, but he was clearly trying to pretend it never did. After two sandwiches and ten minutes of casual commentary about what was happening on the screen in front of them, she tried for an equally casual, ‘So, how long were you and Jools together?’
She felt Ferg’s body tense beside her, but he took a gulp of his beer and then said, ‘Just under two years. You’d think she might have realised she was in love with my sister sooner, since she met her almost as soon as we started going out.’
His voice dripped with hostility and Tab didn’t blame him, but she knew that holding on to such feelings would slowly destroy him, eating him up from the inside, and that was even without the added complication of his sister’s illness.
‘How’d you meet?’
‘At a friend’s fancy dress birthday party—Jools was the sister of one of my colleagues. We both were single at the time and we both arrived dressed as characters from Harry Potter. We hit it off, or so I thought.’ There was that bitterness again. ‘Eider and I were living together, we had been ever since we stopped being wards of the state, and so she and Jools ended up spending a fair bit of time together. I loved that they got on so well because I couldn’t imagine ever having anything serious or long term with someone my sister didn’t approve of. We’d always been very protective of each other—in my mind, no girl was good enough for her—but I stupidly had no idea that Jools was that way inclined as well.’
He downed the last of his beer. ‘Do you mind if I have another one of these? It feels wrong drinking when you can’t, but …’
But he was drowning his sorrows, Tab finished Ferg’s sentence in her head when his voice drifted off. She didn’t think that was the best way, but maybe if he was relaxed from the beer, he’d keep talking. ‘It’s fine. Can you get me another glass of water?’
He nodded, left the room and returned with both drinks, her tub of ice-cream and two spoons. ‘I just remembered about this.’ His eyes sparkled as he passed her the water, then he put everything down on the coffee table and flopped back into the couch.
‘What did you say Eider did?’ Tab ventured as Fergus peeled back the lid of the ice-cream. She remembered perfectly him telling her that his sister was a social worker, but simply wanted a way to start the conversation.
‘Do you mind if we talk about something else?’ He asked, staring down into the tub of ice-cream. ‘I’d really rather we forgot about this arvo.’
You can’t just forget about your sister was what Tab wanted to say, but at the warning look in his eyes, she nodded instead and forced a smile. ‘Sure.’ Perhaps it would be better to let him cool down a bit first.
They ate the ice-cream together, occasionally feeding the other, and Ferg deserted the last beer as he finished off almost the entire tub instead. ‘I thought your avocado and coconut ice-cream was pretty good, but this is amazing. You are amazing.’
She couldn’t help but glo
w at his words. ‘Thanks.’ But it was getting late and she was tired. The long, energetic nights of the last couple of weeks were finally catching up with her and maybe the emotion of the day also had something to do with it. She stifled a yawn, then glanced at her watch. ‘Perhaps you can bring your accordion over tomorrow night after cricket and I’ll let you try a new flavour I’ve been experimenting with.’
Perhaps then she’d be able to keep her promise to Jools.
Tab stood. ‘I’m gunna call it a night. See you tomorrow.’
But as she leaned down to kiss his forehead, he reached out to take her hand and whispered, ‘Stay.’
‘I’m tired,’ she replied, her exhaustion finally ruling over her libido.
‘I know.’ His grip tightened. ‘That’s why you shouldn’t have to drive home. Stay with me. I promise I’ll be on my best behaviour and let you sleep.’
Tab couldn’t believe what he was suggesting. While part of her longed to accept—and not just the part of her that wanted to collapse into a comfy bed and sleep for a week—would it be something he’d offer if he was stone cold sober?
‘Aren’t you always the one telling me not to think so hard?’ he said, looking up at her. ‘Come on, let’s go to bed.’
And, despite the warning voice inside her head, Tab wasn’t woman enough to resist those words uttered in his sexy drawl, so she let Ferg lead her into his bedroom.
Two hours later, having used a new toothbrush he hadn’t yet opened and borrowed a T-shirt and boxer shorts, she was lying in his clothes, in his bed staring at the ceiling while he snored softly beside her. As promised, he’d been on his best behaviour and hadn’t tried anything. Instead, he’d pulled her into his side after switching off his bedside light and they’d snuggled together, his arms around her, her head resting on his shoulder, and it was the most comfortable she’d ever been in her life.
They didn’t talk and within minutes he’d drifted off to sleep, but this sleeping in someone’s arms was something she could definitely get used to. The warmth of his body against hers, the sound of his breathing, the musky smell of his skin that tickled her nostrils, she’d never felt so intimate with someone in her life.
Something to Talk About (Rose Hill, #2) Page 24