How could Tabitha—who’d professed to love him only days ago—have fallen so happily into the arms of her ex-boyfriend? Because without a doubt, that’s who this bloke was—the guitar, the flash car, the way he’d held Tab as if he owned her and the fact the show was less than a week away meant it had to be him.
Everything Ferg had started to believe over the last twenty-four hours disintegrated. How could he ever compete? Sure, their few weeks together had been intense, but Tabitha had spent ten years pining after this man and now that he was back, she’d obviously quickly forgotten her so-called feelings for Fergus. Seeing her with Ryder reminded him far too much of the day he’d found out about Jools and Eider’s betrayal. It made him feel like such a loser. To think that he’d been about to open his heart again. Perhaps the traffic incident was a blessing after all. It might just have stopped him making the biggest mistake of his life.
Better he got out of there fast before he risked making a fool of himself.
Chapter Thirty-Two
The town of Walsh couldn’t have asked for a better day for the hundredth anniversary of their agricultural show. The sun rose early and shone brightly and there wasn’t a cloud in the beautiful blue sky. As Tab climbed out of bed at dawn, she tried to summon some of the weather’s enthusiasm. She and the committee had been working towards this day for months and all their hard work was about to pay off. Not only that, but she was going to surprise her friends and family by getting up on stage and singing with Ryder.
Yet, although she was excited by this, everything was overshadowed with the permanent presence of Fergus inside her head.
She missed him all the damn time. They’d really only seen each other at nights but she missed knowing she’d be able to talk to and touch him later. She missed their laughs and the conversations they’d shared while they consumed post-sex snacks. So many times over the last week she’d almost succumbed to the urge to message him and she’d nearly told Lawson she’d go to cricket training yesterday, but common sense always prevailed.
What would she say to him anyway? She wasn’t the type to beg; besides, he’d made it more than clear he didn’t want to be a part of her baby’s life, and they were a package deal. Despite her head knowing that he was no longer part of her life, her heart was taking longer to get on board. She’d heard that Fergus had been offered a position in a school up north and couldn’t wait for him to take it so life could return to normal. So she could pick Ned up from school or walk down the main street without being on tenterhooks, wondering if she might run into him.
At least having to rehearse with Ryder was keeping her even busier than normal, allowing her less time to wallow in self-pity. She probably wouldn’t have said yes if she and Fergus were still … well, whatever they’d been. But Ryder had been persistent, turning up at the tea rooms the day after he’d propositioned her, before she’d had a chance to reply. And, although slightly nervous, part of her really wanted to do this.
She had to admit she’d enjoyed spending time with her old flame this last week and finally felt the closure she’d been craving all these years. They’d laughed lots and got to know each other again. Fame may have changed Ryder’s looks—he certainly wore more designer labels than he had before—but it didn’t appear to have changed who he was at his core. She’d lost count of the number of times he’d apologised for how he’d treated her and finally she’d had to forbid him from using the ‘S’ word again, saying that if he did, she wouldn’t sing.
Now, as she emerged from the shower, butterflies churned her stomach and she sort of wished he had, but it was too late to chicken out.
The tea rooms were closed today due to the show, so instead of throwing on her uniform, Tab chose some maternity denim shorts and paired them with a short-sleeved cotton shirt with little ice-creams all over it. She guessed she’d spend most of her day in the van and didn’t want to be uncomfortable but made sure to pack some make-up and a dressier outfit for when she sang.
‘Morning, Tab,’ said Chloe’s long-suffering husband as he waved her through the entrance of the showgrounds.
She smiled at him. ‘Hi Richard. Bet you’ll be happy when today’s over and you can get your wife back.’
It was early and the gates weren’t officially opened yet but there were plenty of people already here, setting up stalls and delivering livestock to the sheds. Sideshow alley had been erected yesterday afternoon with the usual rip-off rides and other amusements, but the showies were nowhere to be seen yet. Past experience said they’d turn up just before the gates opened—or maybe even a little later—smelling of last night’s booze and cigarette smoke. Tab didn’t think it could be much of a life, always travelling from one country show to the next, but they had to make a pretty little packet, judging by the prices they charged.
Slowly, she negotiated the van around people, cars and stalls and parked in the spot she’d allocated for it when she’d organised the layout of the food stalls. Meg, Lawson and Ned would be in soon to help serve through the day, but she wanted to set up so she was available to direct the other food vendors into position as they arrived.
After securing a few signs and ribbons to the outside of the van, Tab barely had two minutes to catch her breath before said food vendors started arriving and things really began to get busy. The coffee van was swamped even before the gates opened and as everyone queued for their caffeine, she had a quick wander around, taking a look at the craft stalls, displays and competition entries while she could.
By the time her family arrived just before the gates opened, carnival music was drifting from sideshow alley, animal noises were coming from the sheds, the scents of popcorn, roast lamb and coffee mingled together, and the atmosphere was well and truly buzzing with the excitement of show day.
Tab tried to get into the spirit of it all—pasting a smile on her face as the gates officially opened for ticketholders. Although a lot of people were waiting to come till later in the day so they’d be there for the fireworks and Ryder’s performance, ice-cream was in demand much earlier than she’d predicted. She and Meg were busy inside the van, Ned was off with his friends trying not to spend all his money at once and Lawson spent much of the morning with Ethan in the big livestock shed where they were showing some of their best heifers.
However, by eleven o’clock, they had to call him back and ask him to head to Rose Hill to restock their supplies. Tab was thankful for the steady stream of customers, but she scooped ice-cream into cones and chatted to them on autopilot, all the while scanning the area in front of her for Fergus.
However, he was nowhere to be seen. Maybe he’d gone to Perth to visit his sister. Although he’d vanished off the face of her reality, she’d received a surprising text message from Jools on Sunday night, thanking her for convincing him to come visit and guessed that meant he’d mended bridges with them. While she was happy for him, she couldn’t help being sad that he hadn’t been the one to tell her about it.
‘If we keep selling like this, we’re going to run out, even taking all that extra Tabitha made into account,’ Meg joked, as she wiped sweat from her brow, waved Lawson off and then turned back to take another order.
The next hour or so flew by and Tab tried once again to push Fergus and her nerves about tonight out of her mind, but when Funky delivered them all hot lamb rolls for lunch and offered to man the van a few minutes with Carly so they could eat, she found herself unable to stomach more than a few bites, even though she’d been starving.
‘You okay?’ Meg asked as she wiped gravy off the side of her mouth with a serviette.
‘Fine, just tired,’ Tab replied.
‘Why don’t you take a break for a bit? Lawson can help me with the ice-cream.’
Although her brother nodded, Tab was about to object—the van was safe in a way—but Ned ran over at that moment, interrupting the conversation. ‘Can I have some money for fairy floss?’
‘Oh my God,’ Meg shrieked, pretending to be horrified at the sig
ht of her stepson with blood and scars painted all over his face. ‘What happened to you?’
‘I got my face painted,’ Ned replied as if that was a stupid question. He looked to Lawson. ‘Can I puh-lease have some more money?’
‘Have you already spent what I gave you?’
He nodded. ‘But the rides are expensive, and the clown game is a rip-off. I played three times and didn’t win anything.’
Tab smirked, impressed when her brother resisted the urge to say ‘I told you so’. She put her roll down and dug into her pocket to see if she could find any change. ‘Here you go. Don’t spend it all at once.’
‘Thanks.’ Ned threw his arms around her. ‘And when can you come see my photos and the papier-mâché sculpture I made at school? Lisl reckons hers is the best, but hers is a boring old horse whereas mine is Dobby from Harry Potter.’
‘I’ll come now,’ Tab said, pushing off her seat, picking up her leftover lunch and throwing it in a nearby bin.
‘Thanks, Aunty Tab.’ Ned grabbed her hand and started yanking her towards the big hall, getting frustrated each time they had to stop to speak to someone. Everyone appeared to be having a grand old time and agreed that the anniversary show was turning out to be a cracker.
Not feeling she could take much of the credit, Tab filed away all the feedback to give to Chloe and the committee later as her nephew finally dragged her into the hall. It wasn’t quite as busy as everywhere else, so she made a fuss of Ned’s sculpture and photos.
She was about to ask him why he’d taken a photo of the toilet, when he tugged on her arm and said, ‘Look, Aunty Tab, it’s Mr McDuck.’
Her heart froze as she slowly turned and, sure enough, mere metres away, Fergus stood re-pinning a kid’s painting to the wall.
‘Hello, Tabitha,’ he said, making every bone in her body turn to jelly.
Somehow she managed to reply, but her words came out huskier than she intended. ‘Hi Fergus.’ As her starving eyes drank him in, it was all she could do not to grab hold of his T-shirt, yank him towards her and beg him to reconsider. How could he just turn his back on her so easily? She was certain she hadn’t imagined the connection between them. How could he just blatantly refuse to accept her baby?
All these questions were on the tip of her tongue but she couldn’t ask any of them in front of Ned, so instead she said, ‘The kids’ work looks really good. You’ve obviously been busy.’
‘All I did was hang it all up. They were so excited to have stuff on display, they worked in their recess and lunch breaks to finish.’
‘That’s awesome.’
He nodded, his hands shoved in his pockets, and then they both stood there in silence—it seemed they’d exhausted the topic of conversation. The knowledge they were like strangers again hurt Tab’s already shattered heart. She had to get out of there before she lost not only her dignity but also the unshed tears that were causing her eyes to prickle painfully.
‘Sorry, Ned, but I’ve got to get back to the van.’
She turned before either of them had a chance to say anything, but was only halfway out of the hall when she felt a tap on her shoulder.
‘Tab, you got a moment?’
She sucked in a breath and slowly turned around to face Fergus, her heart squeezing in hopeful anticipation. Their eyes met and the rest of the world melted away. She could no longer hear any of the chatter around them.
‘What is it?’ she whispered.
‘I just wanted to say thanks.’
Her stomach quivered. ‘What for?’
‘I went to see my sister—we’ve cleared the air—and I wouldn’t have done so if it wasn’t for you. You were right, I was being stubborn, but not talking to Eider was punishing myself as much as punishing them. I owe you a lot for confronting me.’
‘You’re welcome. I’m glad you sorted things out. Family is important.’
‘It is,’ he agreed with a smile that set her insides alight. ‘Anyway, I’d better let you get back—I saw you’ve been pretty busy. It’s great your ice-cream is so popular.’
What? It was all Tab could do not to recoil. That was it? Where was his declaration that he’d also been wrong about them? That the week apart had made him see sense and he couldn’t live without her?
But he volunteered no such confession, so she uttered a quick thanks and fled to the toilet block where she sobbed as quietly as she could inside a cubicle, hoping no one could hear her.
When would this pain stop? She’d thought she’d felt heartache all those years ago when Ryder dumped her, but it was nothing on how she felt now. If she could stay in here all day she absolutely would but she couldn’t leave Lawson and Meg to take care of her business. Dragging air into her lungs and then wiping her nose and eyes on a bit of toilet paper, she forced herself to leave the solace of the toilet block.
‘Are you okay?’
She almost jumped out of her skin as she walked out to find a man in dark sunglasses and a cowboy hat (the kind that nobody actually wore in the country), holding a mammoth bunch of flowers, standing right outside. Although disguised well, she recognised Ryder’s voice almost immediately and she reckoned it wouldn’t be long before others also cottoned on that he was already here.
‘How did you know I was in there?’ she asked.
‘I saw you leave the hall and tried to call out, but you didn’t hear me, so I’ve been waiting outside.’
Lord, he’d probably heard her sobbing like a baby. ‘You’re here early. I thought you wouldn’t show until closer to your performance.’
‘Our performance.’ He grinned, then held out the flowers to her. ‘These are for you, to say thanks for giving me another chance. I came early because I wanted to hang out with you for a bit, experience the whole shebang of the country show.’
There were so many thoughts going through Tab’s head. Where on earth did he buy flowers like that around here? She was only supposed to be singing one song with him, so it was hardly their performance. And what did he mean by ‘giving me another chance’? But she didn’t get the opportunity to voice any of this before he turned and introduced her to a man standing beside him.
‘Tabby, I want you to meet Shaun, my manager and right-hand man. He arrived early this morning and he’s mad keen to hear you sing.’
Shaun—who was a good foot shorter than Ryder and had oily black hair slicked back in the kind of style that was popular in the seventies—offered Tab his hand but she couldn’t take it due to the fact her arm was busy with the flowers.
‘Sorry,’ he said awkwardly, withdrawing his hand and blushing as he stared at her stump.
‘It’s fine. It’s nice to meet you, but I really have to get back to my ice-cream van.’
Ryder actually pouted. ‘I was hoping we could go on a ride together, share some popcorn, maybe lose money on some of the amusements.’
‘As appealing as that sounds, I don’t think pregnant women are supposed to go on rides.’ And she was most definitely not in the mood anyway. What she really wanted was to go home and curl into a ball, but show day only happened once a year and she was determined not to let Fergus ruin it.
‘Bugger. What on earth are we going to do to occupy the next few hours, then?’ Ryder asked.
Tab wasn’t sure if he was asking her or his manager or merely pondering the question himself, but at that moment, a shriek pierced the air. ‘Oh my God, is that Ryder O’Connell?’
His period of anonymity was over and as a teenager girl hurried towards them—‘Please, pretty please, can I have your autograph?’—and others followed after her, Ryder pasted a smile on his face and Tab took the opportunity to escape back to the van.
‘Who are the flowers from?’ Meg’s eyes lit up. ‘Fergus?’
Tab shook her head. She no longer believed in miracles. ‘These are from Ryder.’
‘Really? I guess he’s the reason for the kerfuffle over there. Are you okay?’
Tab nodded. ‘Yes, I really am.’ She hadn’t confi
ded to Meg or Lawson that she’d already seen Ryder more than once because she wanted to surprise them tonight, but also didn’t want them to worry about her. After all the fuss she’d made, they wouldn’t believe her if she told them she really no longer felt anything more than friendship for him. ‘Now, do you two want to take a break? Go spend some time with Ned. I’ll be okay by myself here for a while.’
Putting the flowers down at the side of the van—they were so big there was no room for them inside—Tab glanced over again to where she’d come from to see that security were now there trying to get the fan situation under control. It wasn’t only teenage girls that flocked to Ryder, but younger kids and older women too, all waving various things and items of clothing in his face, begging him to sign them. Alongside security, Adeline had appeared from nowhere, and looked to be barking orders among the chaos, clearly loving her close proximity to the star.
Tab, on the other hand, was grateful for a few moments’ reprieve.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Ferg hadn’t wanted to come to the show and now he wished he’d gone to see his sister as he’d contemplated—with cricket cancelled due to the festivities he could have left yesterday afternoon and spent the whole weekend with her. Instead, he’d let Joanne convince him that the kids would be disappointed if he didn’t at least make an appearance.
Well, he’d made his appearance—he’d even taken photos of each of his students in front of their work—and now he could make his escape. If only he’d managed to do so before running into Tabitha. Being so close to her had been torture. He’d had to shove his hands in his pockets to stop himself reaching out and touching her to check she was real, to remember what she felt like. If Ned hadn’t been with her, he might have succumbed to the urge and he could only imagine how embarrassing that would have been. Instead they’d engaged in painful and awkward conversation and it was clear she didn’t want to be in his presence any longer than necessary.
Something to Talk About (Rose Hill, #2) Page 30