‘It’s not that I don’t want to …’ He paused a moment and she saw his Adam’s apple slowly move up and down. ‘It’s that I’m terrified of stuffing it up. Growing up, I was under the care of so many adults I couldn’t keep track, and barely any of them treated me or Eider like we meant anything to them. Parenting is hard, and I saw first-hand how hard, how impossible it was for some people to love a child that isn’t their own flesh and blood. I—’
Tab cut him off. ‘Oh my God! You’re scared you wouldn’t be able to love a baby that wasn’t yours? That’s why you pushed me away?’
He nodded. ‘Didn’t I say that?’
‘You said you didn’t want another man’s baby, but you didn’t tell me why!’
Yet now it seemed obvious. She was such an idiot. Blinded by her own pain, she’d taken his words at face value, hadn’t once questioned if there was something deeper at play. And she should have, because she’d heard about his childhood, knew how crap it had been for him. She shouldn’t have given up so easily.
Yet at the same time, she felt an overwhelming frustration. She’d seen him with the kids in the cricket team, how tenderly he spoke to them, how invested he was in building their confidence. How could he ever doubt his ability to love? And, in trying to protect her baby, he’d actually already proven how much he cared.
‘I’m sorry,’ he said, pushing a hand through his hair. ‘I do want you. I want you and the baby, but I’m scared. I don’t want to stuff it up.’
‘You think I do? I’m terrified of becoming a mum—I think living in constant fear is part of parenting, part of loving someone. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to try. I’ll make mistakes. You’ll make mistakes. But I can’t think of any person I’d rather make them with.’
‘Really?’ He blinked. ‘I haven’t stuffed it up?’
‘I’ll never pretend to understand what you went through,’ she said, reaching out and taking hold of his hand, ‘but you can’t possibly compare yourself to some of your less than ideal foster parents. Every day you go to work, you show your love for loads of children who aren’t your own, and I have faith that you would love my baby even more than you love them.’
‘I’m pretty sure I already do,’ he said, placing his other hand on her belly. It fluttered beneath his touch. ‘And I think you and my sister would get along well, because she said almost exactly the same thing. She told me how much of a cowardly idiot I am and made me see sense. I was coming to explain everything to you and to beg you to give me another chance, when I heard you singing with Ryder and then hugging him.’
Tears welled in her eyes. That hug had lasted less than ten seconds and Sod’s law, those were the ten seconds he’d witnessed.
‘That was a hug between friends,’ she told him, blinking back the rush of tears that came with the realisation of what was actually happening here.
He loved her.
Fergus McWilliams, better known as Mr McDuck, loved her as much as she loved him. And, lord knew, that was a lot.
She lifted his hand to her lips and was about to kiss it when Shaun pounded on the door.
‘Tabitha? Are you in there? We really need you back at the stage. I’ve got a journalist who wants to talk to you and …’
Tab shoved open the door before he could finish his sentence, almost knocking him over in the process. She didn’t apologise.
‘How dare you and Ryder try and use me as a pawn in some publicity stunt.’
‘I don’t know what you’re talking about,’ Shaun replied, but the two seconds hesitation before he did called him out as a liar. And she would believe Fergus over him any day.
‘Whatever.’ She poked him in his chest. ‘If you want me to talk to a journalist, I will. I think they’ll be very interested to hear why exactly Ryder accepted this country gig so quickly. Don’t you?’
This time Shaun opened his mouth but shut it again quickly.
‘Now, if you don’t mind,’ Tabitha said, ‘I’m a little bit busy right now. I trust you’ll say goodbye—no, actually, good riddance to Ryder for me. And you can also tell him if he really wants to clean up his image, maybe he should try to clean up his act. Giving up the grog would be a good start.’
And with that, Tabitha stepped back up into the van and closed the door behind her.
Ferg stood there with a startled expression on his face. ‘Wow. You’re …’
‘Yeah, yeah.’ She waved her arm at him. ‘Amazing, I know, people tell me that all the time, but right now, the only person I’m interested in is you. And by the way, your sister is right. You are a stupid idiot—for ever doubting yourself and definitely for doubting me. But you’re my stupid idiot, which means I’m going to let you make it up to me for the rest of our lives.’
‘Good.’ Ferg grinned, a tear slipping down his cheek. ‘Because there’s nothing else I want more.’
And then he pulled her to him and kissed her like he never planned on doing anything else ever again, and she was just fine with that.
Epilogue
‘Let’s go in here!’
‘What?’ Meg halted in her tracks and stared at Tab like she was crazy as she gestured to a boutique that specialised in bridal fashion.
Tab couldn’t help laughing at the expression on her sister-inlaw’s face. So she was thirty-seven weeks pregnant and would give their pregnant heifers a run for their money in terms of size. So what? She was also engaged to the most wonderful man on the planet and it seemed a missed opportunity to walk past such a shop and not at least take a look.
‘I want to look at wedding dresses. Get a feel for the kind of gown I might like.’
Fergus had proposed on New Year’s Eve and she’d said yes almost before he’d finished the question. But the last few months had been crazy busy—getting ready for the baby, making sure the tea rooms had enough staff to keep it going while she was on maternity leave, helping Ferg move up to Newman and then maintaining their long-distance relationship—that she hadn’t had time to start planning any aspect of their wedding.
Now with a few weeks until the birth, she and Meg were in Perth for a couple of nights in a fancy hotel—a present from Ferg—for a last hurrah girls’ shopping trip and this felt like the perfect opportunity to start getting organised for their big day.
When Meg still looked dubious, Tab added, ‘They sell bridesmaid’s dresses too, so we can look for you as well.’
Meg looked even more horrified as she stroked her own blossoming bump. ‘But you guys aren’t getting married until after I’ve popped. Are you?’
Tab shrugged; she liked to tease when she could. ‘That was the plan but … who knows, maybe I’ll just get it out of the way in a couple of weeks when Fergus comes down for the birth. I’m sick of waiting. I miss that guy and I want his ring on my finger asap.’
‘You’re crazy, you know that?’ Meg said, but she pulled open the door of the bridal shop nevertheless.
They were greeted with a smile by a silver-haired woman as they stepped inside and for once the woman’s gaze didn’t go first to Tabitha’s little arm, but rather to both their bellies. Meg was so petite that she looked a lot more pregnant than twenty weeks. ‘Good morning ladies, the maternity shop is two doors along.’
Meg raised her eyebrows and gave Tab an I-told-you-so look.
Tab ignored her and grinned back at the sales lady. ‘Thanks. We’ve got enough maternity clothes, but we are in the market for a wedding gown and a bridesmaid dress.’
‘Oh.’ The woman’s eyes widened. ‘In that case, which one of you is the bride?’
Tab pointed to herself. ‘That’d be me.’
The woman looked as if she might faint. Maybe Tab had taken this prank a little too far. The last thing she wanted to be doing today was first aid.
‘It’s alright,’ she said. ‘The wedding isn’t until December but we were passing by and I just thought I’d have a bit of a browse. If that’s okay with you.’
‘Yes, of course.’ The woman’s sh
oulders sagged in obvious relief, then she grinned, introduced herself as ‘Melody’ and couldn’t have been more enthusiastic or helpful. She got Tab and Meg each a glass of orange juice in a champagne flute and settled them on a plush velvet couch before grilling Tabitha about her style and fashion preferences. When Tab admitted that dressing up wasn’t usually her thing, Melody took things into her own hands and started bringing in various different gowns to ooh and ahh over.
Although Tab couldn’t try any of them on, Melody held them up against her as she stood in front of a mirror, which gave her quite a good idea. She’d definitely be coming back here when she’d lost some baby fat and was ready to make a purchase. Melody was warm and chatty and as she showed them dress after dress, she also asked a zillion questions and practically learned both their life stories.
‘So the baby isn’t your fiancé’s and he’s currently living twelve hours away? Wow. I hear some interesting stuff here, but yours is up there. How long will you be apart?’
‘Not much longer,’ Tab replied, smiling as she caressed her bump. ‘He’s coming down for the birth, and then I’m going back up to Newman with him and staying there until he finishes his contract at the end of the year. We’ll head back to my place in Rose Hill after that and hopefully he’ll find a teaching position within—’
She was about to say ‘driving distance’ but the words died on her tongue as she felt a gush of water between her legs. Oh no!
‘What is it?’ Meg and Melody said in unison as Tab’s hand rushed to her chest.
She’d either wet herself or her waters had broken, neither of which she wanted to admit when she was sitting on this very comfy but expensive-looking sofa. Then again, the little patch of water on her maternity trousers probably said it all. ‘I think my waters have broken.’
‘Oh my God!’ Meg leapt to her feet faster than a pregnant woman should.
‘I’m so sorry,’ Tab gushed as she too tried to struggle to her feet.
‘Don’t be silly.’ Melody rushed forward to help her into a standing position.
‘We need to get to a hospital,’ Meg shrieked. ‘I’ll go get the car.’
‘There’s no rush. I haven’t had any contractions yet. I’m sure we can make it back home.’
‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ Meg snapped, already digging the keys out of her bag. ‘I’ll be right back and the only place I’m taking you is the hospital.’
‘Your friend’s right, dear,’ Melody said, as Meg rushed out the store. ‘Trust me, I had my third child on the back seat of a taxi and a car is no place to have a baby.’
‘But …’ Tears rushed to Tab’s eyes. This was not how it was supposed to happen. She was supposed to have their baby in the birthing suite in Bunbury with the midwife she’d picked herself and, most importantly, Fergus by her side. Now it looked like she might have to have it in Perth, without her midwife or Fergus.
‘You’re fully dilated and we’re ready to start pushing,’ said a lovely man called Dr Reeves eight hours later.
Tab shook her head furiously. ‘No. I need Fergus. I can’t do this without him. Can you delay things until tomorrow?’
Dr Reeves squeezed her hand. ‘I’m sorry, Tabitha, but this baby is coming very soon and there’s nothing you or I can do to stop it. You can do this.’
‘But I don’t want to.’ She sobbed. ‘Not without Fergus. Sorry, Meg, no offence, you know I love you but …’ Another contraction stole the end of her sentence.
‘How about we call him?’ Meg said when the contraction had ended.
‘Yes.’ Tab nodded. ‘If he can’t be here, maybe he can be on speaker. Or even FaceTime.’ Damn, she wanted to see his face.
As another contraction came fast and hard, Meg whipped her phone out of her handbag and called him. She stepped away and Tab couldn’t hear exactly what she was saying. ‘Put him on!’
Meg turned back and held the phone close to Tab. ‘Really sorry, but we can’t get FaceTime to work. He’s on speaker instead.’
And then his voice filled the air. ‘Hello, angel,’ he said. ‘I hear you’re doing a great job.’
‘It hurts. I’m scared.’ Tab sniffed. ‘I wish you were here’
‘I know you do, sweetheart. I wish I was too. But you can do this. You’re amazing. And I will get there as soon as I possibly can. You’re in the best place you can be.’
She stared at the phone, tears pouring down her face as another contraction took hold. ‘I love you,’ she managed.
‘I love you too,’ he said, but weirdly, she heard it in the room as well as in her ear. Despite the pain, her head snapped to the door and the phone fell from her grasp as she registered Ferg striding towards her.
‘Oh my God.’ Was this a dream? She looked from him to Meg and back again. ‘How?’
‘I called him when I left the bridal shop to get the car,’ Meg admitted.
‘And luckily the next plane was in an hour,’ he finished. ‘It was touch and go and I may have broken a few road rules getting to the airport, but … here I am.’
‘Yes, here you are.’ Tab pressed a kiss against his mouth as he leaned in to hug her. The pain didn’t matter anymore. He was here and they were about to have a baby.
The next twenty minutes was a blur of pain and pressure and then, with Fergus holding Tab’s hand and pressing an icy-cold cloth against her forehead, she gave one massive push and seconds later the most amazing sound she’d ever heard pierced the air.
‘It’s a girl,’ Dr Reeves pronounced. ‘A beautiful, healthy baby girl.’
‘Oh my goodness. A girl.’ Tab looked at Ferg but his eyes were filled with tears and he was too choked up to speak as the doctor placed their squirming, red, slimy baby on her bare chest. It was the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen.
‘Does she have a name?’ asked Dr Reeves after a few long moments.
‘Yes.’ Tab and Ferg exchanged a look.
‘Her name is Daphne,’ Fergus announced.
‘After my mum,’ Tab said with both a sniff and a smile. ‘She’d have been such a wonderful granny.’
Meg beamed as she reached out and squeezed Tab’s shoulder. ‘I love it.’ She snapped a quick photo then made her excuses, promising to be back later in the evening with Lawson and Ned.
Under the direction of the doctor, a nervous Fergus cut the cord, and then although there were still medical professionals flitting around, they all faded into the background as Tab and Fergus marvelled at Daphne. Nine months ago, she’d gone into this pregnancy alone and never in her wildest thoughts had she imagined it would turn out like this.
Sometimes the things you least expected turned out to be the most wonderful, and Tabitha couldn’t be happier with her little family.
Acknowledgements
Many people helped me (in both small and big ways) as I wrote Something To Talk About and I want to offer them all the biggest thanks!
First, to my friend and ex-boss Lorreen Greeuw, who was the inspiration for Tabitha. From the moment I met Lorry many years ago, I both adored and admired her. Thanks for being such an awesome, amazing person and also for giving me a sensitivity read for this book. I’m sure Lorry’s and Tabitha’s experiences of being an amputee will not be exactly the same as all amputees but I just hope that I have written this story in a manner sensitive to all.
Next, to another friend, farmer and teacher Peta Sattler, who I met sitting on the breastfeeding couch at playgroup over fifteen years ago and who also happened to beta read my very first rural romance, Jilted, before I submitted it to publishers. Not only has she been a big support to all my books in the years since, but at the launch of Talk of the Town she told me it was time I wrote a book about a teacher coming to a rural town. There’s a bit of a running joke in the small towns that teachers and nurses come to town for a short contract but end up staying because they fall in love with a farmer. Thanks for the idea, Peta, I hope you like what I’ve done with Fergus!
As always massive thanks must go t
o my fabulous publisher, Sue Brockhoff, who always goes above and beyond to support my work and help me make the book the best I can. And also to Sue’s wonderful team: Annabel Blay, Jo Mackay, Johanna Baker, Adam Van Rooijen, Natika Palka and Sarana Behan.
To the HarperCollins design team who continue to create stunning covers for me, I think you all must actually be fairies and thanks for letting me judge the chocolate contest last time I was in the office. I’m available whenever you need such important decisions to be made again.
I write the book, but Dianne Blacklock helps me make it sparkle. Thank you so much for your wisdom on characters and, as usual, for helping me cut all my waffle. I hope we get to work together on many more books together. And also thank you to proofreader Julie Wicks for your eagle eye.
Big thanks to my agent, Helen Breitwieser. Thanks for being such a great sounding board and champion!
And to my close writing friends, who have become family – Bec, Anthea, Emily, Amanda, Lisa, Sally, Tess, Alissa, Leah, Bree, Cathryn, Susan, Fee and Fiona. What would I do without you all? Thanks for putting up with all my anxiety and paranoia – at least you all understand, cos basically you’re all the same!
To my ‘normal’ friends – sorry for forgetting birthdays, not sending Christmas cards and begging you all to come up with ideas for future books. I’m surprised you’re still hanging around, but I appreciate you all for supporting my career by buying my books and spruiking them to your other ‘normal’ friends!
To the awesome readers of my stories – you are my heroes. Thank you for buying my books, posting them on social media, writing reviews and sending me such lovely messages. You guys keep me glued to the keyboard when I really want to run away and join a circus.
Last, but never least, to my family – Mum, Craig and the boys – for putting up with easy dinners, distracted conversations, and so much more, especially when I’m on a deadline. You guys are the best!! xx
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Something to Talk About (Rose Hill, #2) Page 32