I put my head back against the couch. He’s going to give me time, like he did when he moved here for me. Even though it’s probably killing him, he’s going to let me take the lead again. God, I love him so much. I have to work tomorrow, but I’ll stop by his place after. We can talk, and hopefully, be together again. I have to believe everything will work out. If not, I don’t know if I’m strong enough to survive losing him again.
I wake up the next morning eager to see Zane. I know we won’t have time for a long talk before I have to work, but I can at least let him know that I want to talk to him. I shower and dress quickly before heading next door. I stop in my tracks when I see his door open. Did something happen to him? I rush inside and see the maids cleaning his apartment. I’m a little confused because we don’t use the maid service. Neither one of us think it’s fair to give them extra work. “Excuse me, is Zane here?”
“Zane? You mean the man who used to live here? No, he left Friday night. We’re cleaning up.”
“Oh, okay. Thanks.”
I walk out and lean against the wall for a couple of minutes, trying to control my breathing. It’s not okay. I’m not okay. He left me again. Only this time, I left him first. I manage to pull myself together enough to go downstairs and head to work. I get most of my work done before lunch, which will give me time to sew this afternoon.
I head into the employee cafeteria and get some steak nachos. I’ve just sat down when Chloe sits across from me. “How are you doing, Quinn? Everyone’s been worried.”
“I’m sorry. I turned off my phone until last night.”
“It’s okay, but you didn’t answer my question.”
“I’m pretty bad, actually.”
“You haven’t talked to Zane, then?”
“No. I stopped by his apartment last night, but he didn’t answer. Today, maids were cleaning his place and said he left. I-I can’t believe he left with Whitney again.”
“What? No. He didn’t leave with that bitch. He’s in the Griffin guest house.”
“He is?”
“Yes. He wanted to give you space until you were ready to talk to him. It sounds like you’re ready.”
“I thought I was, but seeing him gone freaked me out. I may need some more time.”
She looks uncomfortable and seems to be debating telling me something. “Ryan and I, well, we thought you’d talk to him right away. So we invited him to Tucson with us next week.”
“Oh.”
“We can un-invite him.”
“No. It’s fine. We’ll be busy and I probably won’t see him much.”
“Quinn, we won’t be that busy.”
“You’re right. Maybe I can talk to him one night. I did want to see him in a tux.”
“So, you’re okay with this? I mean, I know most of what he’s going to tell you, and I know you’ll be okay after.”
“Yeah, I’m okay. You know? It’s not bad?”
“Definitely not bad. On his part, at least. We could all kill Whitney, though.”
“I’ve felt that way for more than half my life.”
“Give him a chance. What’s he’s gone through at the hands of that woman is pretty bad.”
“I will. I promise. I just need a little time.”
I finish my lunch and head upstairs to sew. I get a few dresses made before remembering to call Owen. I need my Plan B. I can tell he doesn’t want to agree, but he does. He says he’ll pick up the keys for the store from me tomorrow.
* * *
Zane
I’m meeting Owen at Quinn’s shop. He called me as soon as he got off the phone with her last night. We may not be together again, but I was her first choice to paint her store, and I’m still going to do it for her. She doesn’t need Owen, or her Plan B, even if she thinks she does. I love her and I’m going to make her shop look the best I can.
“Hey, Zane. Thanks for meeting me.”
“Of course. Thank you for telling her you’d do this and then calling me.”
“I knew you’d still want to do it. I’m a little scared of how she’ll react, but Candi will protect me if anything goes down.”
“I don’t doubt it. You wife’s one tough lady.”
Owen laughs. “She can be, yeah.”
He hands over the keys, and I prop the door open so I can bring my supplies in. I’m painting the walls a deep coral then free-handing the tattoo designs in pencil. I’ll brush and spray paint them once they’re what I know she’ll want. I work for about six hours, stopping to eat takeout from the restaurant a couple doors down. The coral is all done. I have the door open to dry the walls faster.
I’ve just started drawing on the first dry wall when I hear a gasp, followed by a “shit” coming from behind me. I turn to see Quinn with her hand over her mouth and Owen behind her shaking his head. Shit indeed. “Hi Q.”
“You-you’re doing my walls.”
“You asked me to.”
“I know, but I didn’t think…I mean, I asked Owen.”
“I tried to get here before her, man, but traffic on Fremont was a little crazy.”
“It’s cool, Owe. She was going to know once it was done, anyway.”
“I’ll just go and leave you two to talk.”
He waves and then walks away. Quinn hasn’t said anything through our exchange. She’s just looking at the walls. “I’m sorry to deceive you. I just really wanted to do this for you.”
“I didn’t tell you I wanted this color.”
“It’s your favorite. I can change it if you want, though.”
“No. It’s perfect.” She steps closer to the wall I’d started on. “You’re doing it freehand?”
“Yeah. That’s how I did your tats, so I thought it would be cool to do the walls the same way.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“You don’t have to say anything. I mean, it would be nice if you said I could still work on this for you. But if you don’t want me to, I’ll understand.”
“No. I do want you to. I only asked Owen because I was afraid you wouldn’t do it.”
“Don’t ever think I won’t do something for you. Whatever you need from me is yours, Q. Anything.”
“Anything?”
“Yes. Always.”
“Chloe said you’re going with us to Tucson next week.” I nod, worried that she’s going to ask me not to go. “Would you be my date for the parties? I think I still need a little time before we talk, but I’d like to be with you while we’re there.”
“With you just for the parties?”
“No. I-I want to be with you, but I already know that’s not fair. So I’ll settle for the parties.”
“Never settle, baby. Take what you already own. My heart, mind, body, and soul are all yours.”
“You wouldn’t be upset if we slept together?”
“Upset? Fuck no. A little sad because I want more? Yes. But I’ll deal.”
“No. I don’t want you to deal with being hurt.” She sits on the floor in the middle of the empty space and pats the spot next to her. “Sit down and tell me what happened with Whitney.”
“You’re sure?”
“I am. I actually went to your door on Sunday night to tell you I wanted to hear your story, but you were gone. I got a little freaked out when I knew you’d moved out, so I was trying to get myself in a good enough place to listen to you. I’m there right now, Z. Tell me everything.”
* * *
Quinn
Zane’s eyes go wide, but then he smiles and sits down across from me. We both have our legs crossed and our knees are touching. He reaches out to take my hand, I let him hold it. He closes his eyes for a minute before he starts to speak.
“When Whitney told me she had to leave me to save her inheritance, she promised that she’d come back to me when she got it. She also asked me to promise to at least give her a chance. I was so obsessed with her back then, that I agreed. I never really thought she’d come back, and when I fell in love with you, I put
it out of my head. You were all I cared about.
“Then she showed up at the wedding. Because I had made that promise, I felt that I needed to go with her. I wasn’t planning on getting back together with her, but I try to keep all my promises. I also felt that I owed it to you, and to us, to make sure I really had no feelings left for her. We went to her hotel room, and I let her kiss me. Like I told you before, I felt nothing. Absolutely nothing. I told her that and got up to leave when she dropped her bombshell.”
“Landon?”
“Yes. Landon. She told me we had a son and pulled out his birth certificate with my name on it. He was born seven months after she left me. Although I always used a condom with her, I know they aren’t 100%. She told me that my son needed me and I had to go back to Chicago with her that night if I wanted to see him.”
“You had to go.” I know he did. I know him. He wouldn’t abandon his child.
“I did. I wanted to call you, but Whitney told me she’d take Landon and hide him somewhere if I did that. I know I technically had a choice, but I didn’t feel like I did. I had to meet my son, Quinn.”
“I understand.” And I do. I really do.
“We got to Chicago, and she insisted on them moving into my apartment, even though hers was fancier. I made the two of them share the guest room, though. I wasn’t going to have another woman in our bed.” I smile at him and lift his hand to my lips, kissing his knuckles.
“I fell in love with that little boy, Quinn. I love him so much. Whit tried to get me to sleep with her. She was so relentless that I had to not only lock my bedroom door, but prop a chair against the handle as well. Other than Landon, you were all I could think about.
“Without her housekeeper, Whitney was pretty much useless with Landon. I made his meals and took him to all kinds of places like the park, baseball games, and museums. I loved being with him, but I was dying inside because I was away from you. I finally confronted Whitney and told her that I was coming back to you. I would visit Landon, and be a part of his life, but I needed to be with you. I also told her that if she tried to hide, I’d ask my mom and the Griffins for help.”
He pauses and hangs his head. It takes me a moment to realize that the hand I’m holding is shaking because he’s crying. “Z, what is it? What happened?”
He looks up at me. There’s such anguish in his eyes that I feel my eyes fill with tears, too. “She told me he wasn’t mine. That she lied on the birth certificate because she couldn’t put the real father’s name on there. That she came to Vegas and lied because she wanted me back. She made me fall in love with that beautiful boy, and it was all a lie.”
“Oh my God, Zane. Oh my God.” I pull him into my arms and let him cry for several minutes as I hold him. He looks up at me, and I lean down to kiss him sweetly. It seems to give him the strength he needs to continue. But I don’t let go of him.
“I didn’t believe her. I thought she wanted to punish me for leaving her. I made her get a paternity test. It took a week, but when it came back, it was just as she said. I’m not Landon’s father. I told her that I loved him and wanted to be a part of his life still, but she needed to tell him the truth. She told me she couldn’t tell him about his father.”
“She doesn’t know who the father is?”
“Oh, she knows. It’s a good friend of her father’s. She was seeing him while seeing me. He wouldn’t leave his wife, so she told her parents the baby was mine and that I’d abandoned her. They already hated me, so it was just another thing for them to be angry about.”
“Wow. A friend of her dad’s. That’s…umm…well, kind of gross.”
“You’re telling me. Thank God I’ve only ever gone bare with you. I’m pretty sure that’s who she’s pregnant with again. I caught her crying on the phone with someone several times. I also now know why she tried so hard to get me to have sex with her. She wanted to say the baby was mine, too.”
“You know I want to kill the bitch, right? I won’t because a, she’s pregnant, and b, I can’t make love with you several times a day if I’m in jail. But I seriously want to.”
“She’s not worth it. Besides, I definitely want to make love with you multiple times a day. I wish I could have said something at the barbeque, but when Landon called me ‘dad’ and hugged me, I just…I couldn’t do that to him.”
“I know. I don’t blame you. That poor boy. He’d be so lucky to have you for a dad.”
“I don’t want to just abandon him, but I don’t know how to do this.”
“We’ll figure it out. You and me, together. I won’t let you lose him.”
“Thanks for letting me tell you. I never wanted to be away from you. I swear it, Q.”
“I know. And just so you know, I’m not planning on letting you get away from me again. If Whitney or anyone else tries to come for you, I’ll just hold onto you and not let go.”
“You won’t have to, babe. I’m never leaving you again. For any reason.”
“Can I have my ring back? Whenever you can get it to me?”
“Of course. And I can give it to you now. I’ve kept it with me at all times since you gave it back.” He reaches into the pocket of his jeans and pulls out a different box. I realize the original box is back at my place. I watch him lift it out and slip it on my finger. “It’s back where it belongs.”
“I’m never taking it off again.”
“Good. I have one more surprise for you.”
“Really? Is it here?”
“In the backroom.”
I cock my head and raise an eyebrow at him. “The backroom?”
He laughs and smirks at me. “I can give you that back there, too, but I really do have something else for you, babe.”
“Show me and then I’ll decide what else you can give me.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
He takes my hand, pulls me to my, and lead me into the backroom. I have to cover my mouth to stop from screaming when I see it. It’s all my inventory from the shop in Chicago, plus the dresses I’d finished at our apartment but hadn’t taken to the shop yet.
“Oh my God, Z! Thank you so much.”
“You’re more than welcome.”
I turn to him and kiss him hard. “You can definitely give me whatever you’d like.”
“Not here, Q. I want you in a bed, because we both know once won’t be enough tonight.”
“No, it won’t.”
I help Zane clean up, and then we lock up the shop and go out to our cars. He offers to cook me dinner at my place, but as usual, I don’t have any groceries. He’s worried about going out covered in paint, but I tell him I don’t care what he looks like. We go to Market Grill for some good Mediterranean food.
I have to work in the morning, so we decide to go to my place after dinner. Zane says he doesn’t care about doing the walk of shame in his same clothes tomorrow. That earns him a nice, hot kiss in the strip mall parking lot. I pull back with a smile, telling him I’ll see him soon.
When we get to my place, we undress each other slowly. I take care with his clothes, because he’ll be wearing them again tomorrow morning. He lifts me onto the coffee table and asks me to lie down on my back. I do, leaning on my elbows to watch as he moves one of the chairs closer to the table. I’m confused until he gets to his knees and kisses each of my ankles as he spreads my legs wide. One foot resting on the couch, one on the chair. He pulls me to the edge of the low table and stays on his knees as he enters me.
I see stars. I swear I do. This position has me completely vulnerable, but I know he won’t hurt me. I let myself drown in the sensations I’m feeling as he moves in and out of me, twisting his hips every few thrusts. He’s holding onto my thighs, his fingers circling right next to where he’s inside of me. He shifts his hands, both fingers start stroking my clit, rubbing circles around each other.
“Zane. Oh my God, Zane.”
“You like that, Q? Or do you need more?”
“More?”
“Play with your tits
. You know it’ll make you come harder. I want to see you shatter while we’re both touching you and my cock’s fucking your pussy.”
I do as he says. I know he’s right before I even start to touch myself. I move both my hands over my nipples and pinch them as he works my clit. I’m bucking off the table from the triple sensations of our fingers and his cock. Within a minute I’m screaming his name as I soak him, just the way he likes it. He thrusts harder a few more times before he’s shuddering, and calling out my name, too.
He leans his head on my stomach as I let my legs fall to the floor. I have the urge to wrap them around his back, but I don’t think I have enough strength for that right now. I do play with his hair as he traces my ribs. I know he’s recovering when his hands move higher, playing with my breasts.
“Round 2?”
“Mm-hmm. But not out here. I’d love to have you in the shower, but I don’t know if I can stand for that long after what you just did to me.”
“What I did to you?” I laugh as he pulls me up and starts leading me slowly to my bedroom.
“Yes. You just fucked the living hell out of me woman.”
“No, my future husband. That was all you. This time will be me, though, so lie back and let me have a ride.”
“Yes, ma’am,” he says in his best southern accent, which is really bad. He lies down on his back, and I climb onto him, backwards, and start to ride. “Fuck me.”
“That’s what I’m doing, Z.”
“I know, Q, I know. Fuuckk.”
There’s not many places for my hands to go, so grabbing his balls with one just seemed like the right thing to do. He’s the one bucking now, as he holds my hips tight. I kind of wish I’d left my hair long so I could see it falling in front of me while I get the best kind of ride possible. I don’t dwell on my short haircut as I feel Zane coming. “I-I can’t stop. It’s too much.”
“Come hard for me, Zane.”
He does, and although I’m close, I don’t come. It’s okay, I already came once. Zane doesn’t feel the same way, though, as he flips me over onto my back and attacks my clit with his mouth. His fingers are working inside of me, which means they’re getting coated with his semen. That’s my last coherent thought before I’m screaming again. He pulls his fingers out and goes to wipe them off. I stop him and bring his fingers to my mouth, licking them clean.
Designing the Love Page 6