RECYCLED MEMORY

by Richardson, SH

  Big mistake.

  “We’ll see who has the last laugh, numb nuts. To the circle.”

  Yep, big mistake.

  FOURTEEN

  Maribel

  THAT BITCH WAS GONNA get what was coming to her if it was the last thing I ever did. She’d ruined everything on what was supposed to be my special day. After three long years of pain and suffering, the time had come for me to finally have my braces removed. No more restrictions on what I was able to eat because it went against doctor’s orders. Hopeful that the murmurs of “metal mouth” from the other kids at school would finally be silenced, relieved that I would finally be able to see myself as a real girl, pretty even, once those horrible metal restraints were removed from my now strengthened teeth. Granted, I would still have to wear my goggle-type glasses, for now, but at least I could smile without slicing chunks off the back of my lips. She just couldn’t let me have one day out of the three hundred and sixty-five to feel happiness for once. Was that too much to ask?

  She’d had the door to her bedroom open, which should have been my first sign that she was up to something. I didn’t remember the last time she wasn’t hiding in her cave like a blood sucking bat while she waited for nightfall before sneaking out. She’d laid in wait for us to return from the orthodontist, my feet to hit the stairs running, and the click of my own bedroom door before she said the one word she knew would stop me in my tracks. Marcus.

  “He wasn’t just a good kisser; he was the best I’ve ever had.” She was talking to someone on the phone, so I only heard one side of the conversation. Hers. “He used just the right amount of tongue to keep things interesting.” Pause.

  “Of course, I’m going to kiss him again. You would, too, if you had the chance. Marcus Mecken is definitely a boy I could drop my panties for, but only if he wanted to kiss me down there, too.”

  Her stupid high-pitched cackle of a laugh was enough to send me running from the house in a fit of unchecked tears. The hate I’d felt for her yesterday was nothing compared to the scorn and repugnance I felt today. She wasn’t the only one at fault.Marcus had a role to play in my heartbreak; he chose her, no matter how badly I wanted him to choose me. I ran as fast as I could to the one place that was all mine, where I could hide in shame and not have to worry about anyone finding me. The playhouse was just as I’d left it a few days before. The pink pillow I’d stored away was just what I needed to drown out my uncontrollable tears as I lay on the cot and wept. I was so caught up in my own misery that I didn’t even hear the door open until it was too late.

  “What the hell are you doing in here, Polly Pocket?”

  Marcus stood shell shocked in the doorway of the cabin. I sat up from the cot and wiped my eyes. The pillow I held in front of my chest as a barrier between us. His unexpected presence in my playhouse, after what he’d done with the golden princess, left my heart cold and my response clipped with venom.

  “None of your fucking business, you stupid prick,” I hissed.

  “That dirty mouth of yours is gonna get you in trouble, kid. Now, I’m gonna ask you again, what are you doing here? Think long and hard before you give me another smart-ass answer this time.” Ugh, he is so bossy.

  “I’ve been coming here since we found this place a few weeks ago. It’s quiet and nice, helps me think when I’m upset. Now, fuck off and leave me alone.”

  Marcus took a deep breath, strolled inside the rest of the way, and took a seat next to me on the far end of the cot. The sag of his shoulders led me to believe that I wasn’t the only one with something heavy on their mind. My earlier anger over the kissing situation was all but forgotten when he let out a huge sigh and just sat there staring into space.

  “Yeah, I could use a place like this myself sometimes,” he mumbled.

  His comment was more for himself than it was for me. The hateful words that I’d said to him when he arrived left a sour taste in my mouth. I had no right to be angry with him for wanting to kiss a pretty girl. Some boys never got the chance. Who was I to deny him such a prize? At least one of us deserved a bit of happiness. If all we would ever be was friends, I vowed to be the best friend he ever hoped to have. I slid my hand across my lap and gently placed it on the cot between the two of us. I didn’t need to encourage him to take it; he did that on his own. Together, we sat silently for hours just holding hands, neither one of us saying a word.

  It was peaceful.

  It was quiet.

  It was us.

  “Nan has her dialysis tomorrow morning at Madison Lee Hospital. I wish I could be there, but I can’t skip school again, or Principle Garvey will have my balls.” He was opening up to me. I couldn’t let him down.

  “Madison Lee is one of the best hospitals on the east coast, Marcus. I’m sure everything will be fine,” I assured him.

  “You don’t know that for sure, Pocket. What if something goes wrong, and I’m not there to help her through it? What if she dies like my parents, and all I get is a phone call saying so?”

  “That won’t happen, tough guy. My father is chief of staff at Madison, and he’s the best, only hires the best staff of nurses and doctors. Trust me when I tell you he wouldn’t have it any other way.”

  “Chief of staff, huh? No wonder you’re so damn smart.”

  He smiled for the first time since he’d arrived, and I blushed at his easy compliment. It made it difficult for me to stay mad at him when he was so damn beautiful to look at. Too bad he chose beauty over brains. I decided we needed a change in subject before my face exploded from the heat emanating from it.

  “Is that why you came out here, to get away from it all?”

  “Naw, Buck sent me out here to clean this place up from top to bottom as punishment. That crazy sister of yours got me into trouble today when she tried to kiss me in the hallway at school. If it weren’t for Range, I’d be in deep shit right now. I owe him big time.”

  What a little lying bitch. She’d really had me going. She’d planned that whole bullshit story just to piss me off and cause trouble between Marcus and me. I believed him wholeheartedly when he said he never kissed her. What reason did he have to lie? He’d never expected to find me out here, and he certainly didn’t need to make up a story like that. Most boys couldn’t wait to brag about kissing the golden princess. I’d been sure Marcus would have done the same. I was so stunned by his version of the truth I started to laugh uncontrollably. Marcus had given me my well-deserved day of happiness, and he didn’t even know it.

  “What the hell, Pocket?” he snapped.

  “It’s nothing.” I sobered. “I just… really felt like laughing.”

  I had a stupid look on my face that screamed psycho at ten o’clock.

  “Hey…” He stared openly at my mouth. “You got your braces off.”

  “Yeah, finally! Now I get to have my first kiss without the fear of cutting some poor sap like I was Freddy Krueger from Nightmare on Elm Street.”

  The air in the cabin suddenly cooled, but my skin broke out in a light sheen of sweat. Marcus was still staring, his eyes so intent I could barely hold his gaze. I’d thought about a moment like this for as long as I could remember. A handsome boy would hold my hand while he leaned in slowly and pressed his lips against mine. I wanted it to be him, my tough guy, to see me as more than a child and grant me this one wish.

  And then he did.

  And I was his.

  And it was perfect.

  “Thank you, Marcus. I’ll never forget it as long as I live.” My eyelashes fluttered from the sheer embarrassment of my stupid statement of thanks. Who does that anyway?

  “I’m sure you won’t remember it for quite that long, Pocket.” He patted my head like a dog and stood from the cot with a deep chuckle.

  “Besides, I couldn’t have a nice kid like you going around kissing random strangers just to get the deed out the way, now could I? Some guy might’ve tried to take advantage of you and tried to take things further. Can’t have that shit on my conscience.�
��

  Disappointment slammed into my chest like a fifty-pound weight. He hadn’t kissed me because he thought I was pretty. Oh no, he’d only done it ‘cause he felt sorry for me. I was his pet-fucking-project, the charity case to soothe his stupid boy sense of right and wrong. Well, that just teared it all to hell. I was nobody’s Pitiful Patty, not now, not ever. While Marcus was busy taking stock of the inventory around the cabin, I stood from the cot and shouldered my way past him.

  “Hey, where you going, Pocket? I thought you and I could clean this place up together.”

  “Clean it yourself, asshole,” I screamed back at him. “And when you’re done, find the highest bridge and jump off… fucker.”

  I never spoke to Marcus Mecken again.

  He was dead to me, just like my heart.

  FIFTEEN

  Marcus

  Two years later

  “BUCK WANTS US ALL at the yard before we leave for the dance.”

  The boys and I stood outside in the student parking lot going over our plans for the junior prom that evening. Buck let us use the work truck to get back and forth to school, so we rode together every morning and afternoon. We’d grown so close over the last few years, our bond of brotherhood was unbreakable, held strong through trust and friendship. Once puberty grabbed us securely by the balls, our bodies transformed to keep up with our grueling training schedule, and we became school yard celebrities amongst the females of the student body. We did everything together, and we always had a plan. That way, if there was ever trouble, one of us would be there to help out the other. Sure, we had other things we were into, mainly getting laid, but that never stopped us from raising hell whenever it was time to cut loose.

  “Yeah, my tux is there, anyway, so that won’t be a problem. Couldn’t risk my old man selling it for a quick buck to buy some booze. We can just saddle up and leave from there,” Range replied with a smile when two cheerleaders walked by and gave him a wave.

  “One of them on your hit list for tonight, brother? I’d definitely go with the blonde if it were my choice. Luckily for me, old pal, I get the best of both worlds tonight. Marci’s bringing a friend who said she’d suck my dick from the back after they announced the king and queen of the dance, so don’t wait up.”

  Max had a sly grin on his face, and we all knew he was telling the truth about his plans for the evening. Maribel’s sister was a favorite amongst the football team, basketball team, hell, even the damn chess team. Range was the only other one out of the four of us who had taken her for a test drive, but he never went back for seconds. I wasn’t a prude, and I’d had my fair share of girls, but that chick was into some strange shit according to Max, which made them the perfect pair.

  “You really should be more careful, Max. There are more than two hundred species of bacteria found in the oral cavity of the human body. Mother and Aunt Enid told me about a cousin of ours who developed a bad case of trench mouth from sharing an ice cream sundae,” Sebastian added.

  “You know, Sebastian, I’m starting to worry that your dick will never see the inside of a wet pussy. Keep that shit up, and the only action you’ll get is by sticking your cock inside one of the exhaust pipes at the junkyard while the car’s running.”

  We all laughed at Max’s little dig, but we also knew better. Chicks loved Sebastian. They pegged him the sensitive, supportive type, definitely boyfriend material to any starry-eyed teenaged girl. He never shied away from using that shit to his advantage and probably got more action than the rest of us combined. He kept his conquests closer to the cuff than most boys our age, something about respecting the sanctity of such a private act or whatever bullshit he called it. We were still laughing at his latest anecdote when Range got my attention.

  “Hey, Marcus, isn’t that your girl over there talking to Wilson?”

  He flicked his chin, and I turned my head to look in the direction he indicated. There stood the one girl who had occupied my thoughts a lot lately. It wasn’t like I hadn’t seen her often. Buck still sent me out to clean the cabin on a daily basis. Why, I never knew. But once she caught a glimpse of me coming through the door, she took off without a word. Sure, she’d occasionally say hello, but ever since the day I’d kissed her, things had never been the same between us. In hindsight, I guess I was a dick to her afterwards, but what did she expect? A fucking engagement ring? It was just a goddamn kiss, for fuck’s sake, not a lifetime commitment. The first few weeks of her silent treatment had left me distracted and tense during training, so much so, Buck had to intervene before I went totally psycho. I thought about the events that had led up to that scene while I watched Maribel cozying up to that prick Wilson.

  “What the fuck’s eatin’ you, boy? Better get your head on straight before I knock it off your goddamned shoulders,” he fumed when I hit Range with a cheap shot to the face.

  “It’s nothing, Buck, just got some shit on my mind, that’s all,” I panted.

  “Well, get it the fuck off your mind or get the hell out of my yard.”

  He stepped over to Range and took a closer look at his check that was now starting to swell. He shook his head with disgust and sent him and the rest of the boys inside the house to clean up. Once it was just me and him, he lit into me with both barrels.

  “Wanna tell me what’s got your head all screwed up? Better not be another one of your dick-arounds, boy.” Buck gave me his patented Don’t fuck with me look, so any idea I had about lying to him went up in smoke.

  “Do you remember the little girl who came to the junkyard looking for me that time? The one you made me walk all the way home?”

  “Yeah, what about her?” he asked suspiciously. “Did you knock that little girl up? What the hell’s wrong with you, boy? Didn’t I give you boys enough rubbers to float a damn yacht?”

  “What? No! Jesus, I just kissed her, that’s all. It was her first kiss, and I didn’t want her doing that with a stranger. Then she stopped talking to me for no reason. Fucking hell, Buck, I would never do that to her.” The thought of someone, anyone, hurting Maribel left me fuming. Before I thought better of it, I lunged at Buck and tried to grab him in a head lock.

  That didn’t work.

  Buck sent me flying through the air like Tarzan in the jungle. He effortlessly body slammed me to the ground and stood over my prostrate body with a low growl and an annoyed shake of his head. It had been a dumb-ass move, but I gave it a shot.

  “You haven’t learned to control your anger, boy. Never strike out at your opponent when you’re pissed. Damn it. How many times I gotta tell you that?”

  Buck never missed an opportunity for a teachable moment, and the way my bruised ass cheeks felt, I wouldn’t be forgetting that one anytime soon.

  “Yeah, I get it, Buck. I get it. Now, about the girl…” Buck grunted and took several deep breaths before he answered my question.

  “If she stopped talking to you, she had a damn good reason; at least it was to her. Nothing you can do until she’s ready to stop freezing you out. Could take a few days, a month, shit fuckin’ years if she’s really pissed. Bitch might not ever get over whatever you did to her. That’s how females are, long memories and shit. They hold grudges better than any man alive. Best you forget about her and get your mind back in the game.”

  “So, there’s nothing I can do to make her talk to me again?”

  “Nope, except be patient and be ready. If she’s important to you, like I suspect she is, you’ll know when to make your move. Until that time, you’re fucked. She’s calling the shots.”

  So, that’s what I did. I waited and watched… for two long years.

  She’d changed so much I hardly recognized her as the kid with the strange red hair and dumb-ass lab coat. Her thick, unattractive glasses were long gone, replaced with contacts that only showcased her sparkling brown eyes. Her natural hair color was more of a strawberry blond, and it hung in beautiful waves down her back until it touched her ass. She grew a good six inches and added about thirty poun
ds in all the right places. Maribel had turned into a rare beauty. Still, our age difference was something I just couldn’t see past. Sure, we were in the same grade year, but she was younger, much too young for someone like me.

  “Looks like she traded up, bro. Wilson there is the star of the soccer team, class president and shit. Think he’s taking her to the dance tonight?”

  Max thought his question was innocent, yet it stirred my inner rage. I silently seethed at the thought of another boy touching her the way I often dreamed of doing.

  “Guess it’s just you and Mr. Lefty tonight, bro.”

  Range used his fist to mimic jacking off, so I reached up and ruffled his perfectly styled hair. It was so long it whipped around all over the place. Served him right. Shithead.

  “She really has filled out some since freshman year,” Sebastian remarked.

  Fucking hell, not him, too.

  “Let’s get the fuck outa here. I need to check on Nan before we head over to the yard.”

  I’d had enough of watching Maribel fawn over that asshole Wilson. Another minute, and I’d do something stupid like beat his brains in with my bare hands. Couldn’t have that; too many witnesses. We climbed in the truck and headed off school grounds. I could already see it was going to be a long-ass night.

  _______________

  Nan was sitting comfortably on the couch with her blanket and cup of herbal tea like she did most evenings. I’d just finished dropping the guys off to get ready, so I would have a few minutes to spend alone with her. Since she’d started her dialysis, some days were better than others, and I could tell today was a bad day. She looked pale and gaunt but still managed to give me a warm smile when I walked through the door. She’d been fighting her illness for so long, I was afraid it was finally going to get the better of her, but I still held out hope for a transplant. She was all the family I had left, with the exception of Buck and the boys. I didn’t want to lose her.