“That Reed is something else, that is for sure.” I giggle again and then take a more serious tone. “I just need to fix me. I really like him, Mags, but I want this situation I’m in to be in the past.”
“It will be, sweetie.”
Maggie cleans up our mess from dinner then gets me some Advil and Gatorade. I take a couple Advil to try to get ahead of any future headache. Then I tell her I want to call my dad first before our friends come in. She leaves the room to give me privacy. I grab my cell phone that is still in a bag from the hospital with some of my other belongings and paperwork. I just stare at it for a moment. I decide that I am not going to turn it on because I know there will be text messages and voicemails from Kyle. Instead I drop it into the trash can on the side of my desk. I need a new phone with a new number that Kyle cannot reach me on. I feel good about my decision as I reach for the dorm room phone and dial home.
******
My call ended with my dad and it was harder than I could have imagined, but I wipe the tears from my eyes. I get up to freshen up before Maggie and the others come in. Splashing water on my face I wash away the tears and try to ignore the building pressure in my head. I open the door and peek out into the hall, but don’t see anyone. Leaving my room feels like an abundant task that I am not up for. Instead I prop the door open with a shoe and sit at my desk to open my laptop.
I click onto my college website and look up my professors’ email addresses and prepare an email to all of them again. I offer to have someone drop off the note from Dr. Randal. Seeing how easily the pressure in my head can build up I now agree. I am thankful that my mid-terms are done at least. I know I need the time to let myself heal fully. Also, I need to figure out how to move past Kyle and cope with my family situation… my mom in particular.
I’m twelve years old and I really wanted to try out for my school’s pom-pom squad. I had never danced before, but I was determined. I’m standing outside of the gym waiting to be called and my mom holds onto my hand and faces me. She tells me that I’m great no matter what and that I should just face this head on. Head on, baby girl. That’s how you face challenges my sweet girl.
I need to start facing my issues head on just like my mom always told me. It doesn’t mean that things will always turn out the way I want. I never made the pom-pom squad, but I remember the feeling of learning a valuable lesson. It didn’t matter anyway because my mom was proud.
Clicking send to all of my professors I decide to check my email since I trashed my cell phone. There really isn’t anything except spam until I see my most recent one. My heart stops for a beat. I can see that it is from Kyle Ross and it was sent just an hour ago. The subject line reads “I LOVE YOU”. I drag the mouse over the email several times debating if I should open it. Initially, I think if I don’t open it I am avoiding dealing with things, but in the end I decide not to open it. I know I was clear with Kyle at the hospital. I don’t owe him anything and by opening it I’m subjecting myself to caving. Clicking delete quickly on shaky hands I close the lap top immediately. The timing is perfect because my door creaks open and I see Maggie enter with Brandon.
“Hey guys,” I say trying desperately to keep things normal. I smile and give Maggie a knowing nod to confirm I talked with my dad.
“Kate, how ya feel?” Brandon asks in a deep voice.
“Not too bad.” I take in a breath to avoid any tears coming to the surface again. “I’m sorry about everything that happened.” I know Brandon helped in restraining Kyle.
“Stop. Non-sense. Remember I have sisters and this isn’t my first time I’ve had to fight off some guy for being an ass.”
“Ok, well, thanks then.”
Maggie asks if I’m ok with the others coming in too. As I assure her the door creaks open more with first Kelly, then Derek, Jenna, Quinn, and Lynn. They file in a single line each staring at me as if I’m in a casket. I almost burst out laughing because this group is never this tamed. I get up and move to them, which in the small space of our dorm only takes a couple steps. Linking my arm around Derek and Kelly I reach to pull the others in and give them a group hug. I’m laughing and smiling because they all seem so serious and I can’t take it any longer.
“You guys, stop this. You’re killing me. I’m fine!” Hugging me a little tighter I let out a squeal. “Please, you all look like you’re attending my funeral. Enough please, make me laugh. I could use the laughter.”
“Aww Kate, we were so worried about you!” Quinn lets out.
“I’m fine, really… I don’t want to talk about it though. Please tell me something funny. Anything.”
“Ok, well, Jenna’s hook up pissed himself.” Derek bursts out and we all crack up, even Jenna. Jenna gives Derek a hook to his bicep playfully. “Sorry Jenna, it was pretty funny. The poor guy scrambled out so fast in the morning.”
“It’s true, Kate. Guess I need to find me an older man who can handle his liquor.” Jenna takes the heat like a champ and looks visibly relieved that I am laughing.
I backup to my bed and climb on top. The throbbing in my head is light, but better since the Advil has kicked in. Everyone sits around the room and the chatter builds up to a noise level above talking. It’s a nice distraction. A short time later, Reed enters with Matt behind him.
I’m sitting on my bed against the wall and Derek is stretched out next to me. Kelly is sitting on Maggie’s bed with Quinn and Jenna. Derek has his arm around me in a friendly matter. Earlier Derek asked how I really was. I assured him that I was ok and would be even better over time. He also said that he was so glad I was ok. When I look up into Reed’s eyes I see how they travel from me to the way Derek has his arm around me. His jaw tightens and I swear I hear it make a clicking sound. I can’t be sure, but by the squint in his eyes and the pressing of his lips I’m sure I see jealousy. The small dorm room is overflowed now and there is nowhere for anyone to move around. My heart beats quicker as I take in Reed’s stance and I want nothing more than to bury my face in his chest. I want him to wrap me up in his arms and kiss me. I bite down on the corner of my bottom lip and move my hair behind my ears nervously. I think Derek catches a glimpse of Reed’s position and pulls his arm away from me. Then he gets up from my bed and steps around the others that are on the floor to get to Kelly. Once he sits next to Kelly he holds her hand and I hope that Reed can see this. The tension that I had seen on his face seems to have relaxed. I raise my eyebrows and give him a smirk as if to say busted.
The banter is loud enough now that my head begins to throb a little harder. I don’t bother to move from the bed because there really isn’t anywhere else I can go. I pull my knees up to my chest and just gaze at Reed. I try to take him in, all six foot three of him. His stare never leaves me even as Matt tells him something and he laughs. The way his eyes gleam when his laugh twists his face is magnificent. His looks are striking. I’m not sure I can let myself believe that he is really interested in me. I know he can get any girl he wants and he probably has for that matter. I don’t want to think about his past yet. Right now I like that I’m the center of his attention. I plan to absorb it all, if not just for tonight. I love the way I feel when I am with him, lost to him. Tomorrow will start a new day where I cannot allow myself to be distracted. Tonight though is different; I am greedy and determined to stay distracted.
Chapter 31
I’m tucked into the passenger seat of Reed’s car securely gripping my hands together in my lap. I smile out the window and wave to Maggie as Reed opens the driver side door to get in. Turning to look at him he maneuvers his hand in between my hands.
“You ready?” He asks with some giddiness to his tone.
“Yes, but I really don’t think you need to check on me every few hours. I don’t want to be a bother to you.” His head moves downward and his eyebrows lift giving me a glance that tells me he’s been through this already with me.
“Stop, Katherine. I wouldn’t have asked… ok, begged you to come to my place if I wasn’t
up for it. I want to be with you. I want you as close to me as possible. There is no way I would sleep if I left you at your dorm room another night anyway.” I smile shyly happy to hear that he didn’t sleep as good either.
“Okay, thank you… I don’t think I would sleep either.”
He lets go of my hands and pulls out and away from my dorm. I look out the window at my campus thinking of the challenges I will face tomorrow. I bite down on the bottom corner of lip and feel a light throbbing ache in the back of my head. Moving one of my hands up to my head I massage it hard hoping to get at the ache. Reed shifts into gear and then reaches over to rub the back of my head. I close my eyes and lean into his touch.
We round the corner and I realize that he is parking in front of his house instead of in the garage. Once the car is in park he reaches back to grab my Vera Bradley weekender bag and then opens his door. He opens my door a moment later and squats down to my level. I angle my body in his direction, but remain seated. I want to keep things light and easy. I don’t want the look of caution I see in Reed’s eyes. I’d rather see the look of desire, lust and attraction. That is what will keep me distracted. I lick my lips and smile at him letting my eyes drink him in.
“Thanks for the lift, handsome.” He chuckles softly and I love the way his face brightens.
“Anytime, beautiful girl.” He winks at me, but I still see some caution hovering in the details of his features. Grabbing for my hand, he lifts me with ease out of the car. “Come on, let’s get in and then I’ll go park in the garage later.”
******
As we walk up the stairs to the front porch, Reed stops me and pulls me to him. His arms race up my back into the back of my hair and then he moves his face into me. He plants a kiss on my forehead and then his lips graze down to mine. He gives me several wet kisses with no tongue, but then just when I think he won’t invade me, his lips part mine and his tongue glides through my teeth sliding over the roof of my mouth. It’s slow and seductive and just like before I push into it wanting more. The tingle of excitement that runs through me has a soft hum vibrate up my throat. Reed releases more of a groan that sounds just as sexy as he looks. He pulls back before anything escalates, which is good because we are on the front porch.
“Just in case either of us had any old lingering memories of you kissing someone other than me on this porch.” He winks at me and holds my hand moving us to the front door. I laugh at him because I must admit, it’s kind of cute.
We walk in and all of his roommates except for Matt are hanging out watching T.V. and drinking beer. There are a few other people that I’ve seen before but I don’t know their names. One of the girls I distinctly remember mentioning Reed and his room outside of the upstairs bathroom. I’m pretty sure she is a senior like Reed. She’s pretty with auburn hair down to her shoulders. I see her eyeing Reed as if I’m not even there with his hand in mine. My mind instantly wonders if they’ve been together in anyway. His roommates say hello to me and ask how I am. It’s obvious that Reed has talked about me to them and even though I am embarrassed, I like it. The pretty girl with auburn hair is still eyeing him, but he really doesn’t seem to notice her. Reed talks with his roommates for a few minutes and then heads us towards the stairs.
Once we are on the stairs, he turns around towards me and I instantly know what he is thinking. I bite down on the bottom corner of my lip and shake my head no. I would be mortified because everyone watching T.V. would have a clear view of him kissing me to erase any old lingering memories of me kissing someone else on these stairs. Yes, I still think it’s cute, but still… He has a wicked laugh as he bends down and kisses me on my forehead.
He lets me enter his room first. I’m instantly drawn to a dozen beautiful long stem red roses in the wrapping from the florist shop on his nightstand. I turn back around and he gives me one of his delicious smiles that I love. I want to ask to make sure they are for me, but before I do he responds.
“Of course they are for you. Do you like them?”
“Yes, thank you so much. They are beautiful.”
“Just like you.” I lean up on the balls of my feet and kiss his cheek.
I take a moment to look around his room and I notice how nice his dark wood furniture is. Most college students have an array of hodge-podge mismatched furniture from garage sales or stuff from their parent’s basements. I think when I was here the other night I thought he had a full size bed, but now as I take it in I realize it’s a queen size bed. His bedding is masculine and new looking. Reed takes my Vera Bradley bag and sets it down on the dresser across the room. I look around and don’t see a T.V., but I see a speaker dock for his phone or iPod.
“You don’t have a T.V.? What do you do at night to unwind?” I pause as I think about what might come out of Reed’s mouth. I quickly erase the vision of the pretty auburn haired girl in his bed. “Never mind, I don’t want to know.”
“It’s not what you think, Kate.” He chuckles. “I read. A lot actually. And I listen to music.”
“What about the pretty girl with auburn hair downstairs?” I look down at my feet because I can’t believe I just blurted that out. He steps towards me and takes his two fingers to lift my chin forcing me to look at him. Quickly my face heats up to a shade of red.
“She’s never been in this room before if that’s what you are wondering.” I bite down on the bottom corner of my lip and I feel nervous, but my curiosity or maybe it’s jealousy that has the best of me.
“Have you kissed her before?” I ask with a small tremble to my tone.
“Yes.” He snaps his head back for a moment and then takes back my stare.
“What else?”
“Are you sure you want to hear this, Katherine? Because I won’t lie to you.”
“Yes, and thank you for not lying to me.”
“More than kiss, but I did not sleep with her.” Hearing he didn’t sleep with her is enough for me.
“How long ago?”
“Ah, a while ago, last year. I really don’t remember.”
“Did you date her?”
“No.” He doesn’t offer any more, and I don’t’ want to know anything else.
“She still likes you.”
“It’s unfortunate for her then.” He pulls me to him and we both let out a breath and then take a deep breath in. I’m relieved he didn’t sleep with her, but the thought of what they did together digs into me. I don’t want to hear any details though. The details of him doing to her or any other girl what he did to me the other night would crush me.
“You okay? How’s your head?”
“I feel good.”
“Are you sure? I saw you rubbing your head in the car.”
“I know, it’s better though. I really do feel ten times better. I promise.” I hold up my hand showing him my pinky. “Pinky swear.” He smiles and then his hands slide to the outsides of my shoulders and he gently rubs them.
“Okay, I trust you then.” I can still see a little caution lingering in his eyes.
“I’ll tell you if it gets bad.” I lie right through my teeth and I don’t feel that bad. There is a light throbbing, but it’s not intense.
“Alright. I think I’ll go take the car to the garage really quick. Then I’ll bring some water up for us and you can take your Advil again. How about you get comfortable and ready for bed?”
“Sounds like a plan, handsome.” He rolls his eyes and shakes his head in an easy manner. Softly gripping my shoulders, he glides me closer to him and kisses my lips. Releasing me he turns and heads out of the room and down the stairs.
******
I walk over to my bag and dig through to pull out the Advil. I set it on the nightstand next to my flowers. I pick the flowers up and smell them. My heart lurches right out of my chest with adoration for Reed. I fall back onto his bed and squeal into a pillow. It’s silly and childish, but I haven’t allowed myself to be like this in so long and it feels good.
I get my squeals out and put my
mind back together as I sit up. Then I notice a little card in the roses. I get the feeling of butterflies in my belly as I pick it up to see if he wrote anything on it. When I see his words my heart melts a little more.
Katherine Rose,
MY beautiful girl.
Reed
I wonder how he figured out my middle name. I’m sure it’s listed on something that I don’t realize. I crush the card to me and fall back onto the bed with more squeals and giggles into one of the pillows. After a moment though I remind myself of tomorrow and the road I have ahead of me. I remind myself that this is not fair to Reed. I remind myself of my conversation with my dad. And I remind myself that tomorrow will be different and difficult. But tonight I’m allowing myself to stay in this moment.
******
I brush my teeth, wash my face and change into my little PINK shorts and shirt for bed. I do a double look in the mirror and decide to brush my hair out again. I don’t bother to tie it back because I’m afraid it will cause the throbbing to increase in my head. I open the door not paying attention and practically collide with someone. I look up to see none other than the pretty auburn haired girl from downstairs.
“Oh sorry, I didn’t see you,” I say softly and smile subtly without any teeth showing. I know I have no reason to not like her, but I can’t help feel insecure… and maybe a little jealous.
“Hi, it’s Reese. He’s just going to use you, you know?” Well, isn’t that cute Reese and Reed. Gag me.
“I’m Kate, and excuse me?” My tone matches her snotty one or at least I try.
“Oh, I know who you are. You’re stupid if you think he’ll stay interested in you.” I take a step back towards the bathroom because I really don’t know how to respond to this. What the hell am I supposed to say to that?
“Thanks for the warning, but I can take care of myself, Reese.” Her name rolls off my tongue with disgust.
“Oh, I doubt that. I heard about what happened the other night. Sounds like you have enough guy troubles as it is.” She snickers as if she is my evil step-sister. Before I can respond, Reed comes into view from the stairs down the hall towards us.
The Perfect Distraction (Volume 1) Page 20