“You won’t have to,” she repeated, ready to say it a thousand times if she had to. She tightened her arms around him. “I swear it, Eli. I don’t care what anyone says about tainted blood or anything else. It’s nonsense. If I was going to turn, don’t you think I’d have done it tonight?”
When he didn’t loosen his grip, she knew he wasn’t hearing her. Renee leaned up and brushed her lips across his jaw, her only thought to comfort him. If he couldn’t or wouldn’t hear the truth of her words, she would show him another way. He jumped as thought she’d burned him and she smiled up at him.
“Relax,” she said, running a hand through his hair and trying to draw him closer. “I’d say I won’t bite, but I’m not sure it’s a promise I can keep.”
He looked at her, his dark eyes haunted. “How can you possibly still want me?”
She tugged his hair, a tiny punishment. “I can think of lots of ways,” she teased. “Come here and let me show you a few.”
“Renee—”
She went up on her toes and silenced him with a kiss. She didn’t let him pull away and when he refused to open his mouth, she bit his lip before drawing back. “Eli,” she said, narrowing her eyes at him, “I am trying to kiss you, in case you haven’t noticed. This is your cue to kiss me back.”
He shook his head at her teasing, but still didn’t look directly at her. “Weren’t you listening to anything I told you?”
She sighed. She felt his desire for her—pressed as close as they were, it wasn’t something he could hide—but his will was indomitable.
Good thing hers was, too.
Renee tapped his cheek until he met her gaze. “I heard every word. I heard that you were framed by a vindictive father for something you didn’t do. I heard how unbearably you suffered before finding something to ease your pain, and that you tried to save a man’s life without knowing he would become a vampire. I heard that you were merciful, first to one who didn’t deserve it and then to three women who did. I heard that you’ve spent untold centuries protecting mankind and that you will stop at nothing to keep the innocent safe.”
He cupped her face in his hands. “And that I would kill you if I had to. Did you hear that, too?”
“Do you think I would want to live as a monster? That wouldn’t be me, and I would rather die than be an Outcast. If you hadn’t taken me in I might never have known there was another way to live as a vampire, but you saved me.” She smiled at him. “Now it’s your turn to hear me, Eli. I love you, not in spite of what you are, but because of it.”
This time when she kissed him, he didn’t resist. He groaned against her lips and held her tight, lifting her completely off the ground and shuddering when she wrapped her legs around his waist. “Say it again,” he breathed against her lips.
“I love you,” Renee whispered. “I lo—”
He stopped her mouth with another kiss, hot and wild. She was vaguely aware of movement a bare instant before he lowered her onto the couch, blanketing her with his body as he kissed her as though he couldn’t get enough of her. On fire with need, she tugged at his shirt and he broke away just long enough to yank it over his head and throw it away before feasting on her mouth again.
Eli shivered when her hands found his bare chest. Her words still echoed in his ears, driving out every concern, every thought but the driving desire to possess her. Never in his life had anyone spoken those words to him.
No one had ever given him anything more precious.
Renee’s hands were everywhere, tracing every inch of him as though memorizing him. Every restless caress sent heat swirling in his veins, and the feel of those gorgeous legs wrapped around him made him shiver from head to toe. He’d never wanted anyone the way he wanted her. She made him weak, made him burn, made him want to keep her safe in his arms forever so he could hear those amazing words from her lips again and again.
He unbuttoned her blouse and cupped her breast, delighting in her low moan of pleasure. He kissed his way down her sweet throat, running his tongue across her collarbone before scraping his teeth lightly over the soft swell of her breast. Her pulse skipped in anticipation but he teased her, blowing a hot breath across her taut nipple, trailing kisses down the valley between her breasts, ignoring the urgings of her hand buried in his hair.
Only when she cried out, demanding more in a voice that was half plea and half command, did he suckle her.
She writhed with pleasure and he groaned against her skin. Passion rapidly built to the breaking point. He needed her naked beneath him, but there was no way in hell he’d release her long enough to get rid of the layers between them. The rest of their clothing vanished at his thought. She laughed at his desperation, the sound unbearably sweet in his ears.
He kissed her, ravishing her mouth, taking what he wanted without apology and delighting in how she met his passion with demands of her own. This time there would be no going slowly. His need was too great for restraint and he thanked the heavens that her desire matched his.
And when she filled his mind with the echoes of her pleasure and love, he couldn’t stand to wait any longer.
Her thighs parted as she sensed his thoughts. Eli thrust forward slowly, prolonging the glorious friction as long as possible. Shudders of pleasure racked his body at the incredible sensation of being buried inside her. Renee arched beneath him, urging him to move, and it was a command he had no desire to resist.
By Luna, had anything ever felt better than this woman’s slick heat wrapped around him? Nothing on Earth or Olympus could even come close to her passion. She moved with him, every thrust of her hips spiking almost unbearable pleasure through his body.
The sting of her nails on his back heightened the sweetness of their loving. Her hunger permeated his thoughts and his body responded with a desperate yearning for her, his fangs aching in his mouth as every instinct demanded he give her the sustenance she needed. The memory of her mouth at his wrist was an erotic torment, reminding him of the ecstasy his taste had brought her.
And he knew he could give her that incredible pleasure again and again. Resisting was the hardest thing he’d ever done. The promise of an eternal bond beckoned, the desire to take the next step impossible to ignore. The need to tie her to him, to bind her so she could never leave him, pounded through his brain. He ached to reinforce their fragile bond with another exchange and knew she wouldn’t resist.
But she didn’t know what it meant. He had to remember that. She didn’t know.
No, damn it. He should never have given in to that temptation once. To do so again would be unforgivable.
But he hadn’t planned on Renee taking matters from his hands. She abruptly tore away from his lips and rained a line of hot, open-mouthed kisses down his throat. Her hot breath teased his skin as she nibbled.
His entire body tensed. He’d never wanted anything more, and he had to stop her. “No, baby, we can’t,” he said hoarsely, tangling his hands in her hair and urging her mouth away.
She growled and nipped him harder, refusing to let him deny her the exchange she craved. The link between them gave her the only weapon she needed to overrule him. Her emotions abruptly filled his mind in a wave of bloodlust and need.
Eli was lost in an instant. His body burned with her pleasure, his mind overflowed with her love and hunger, and every thought of his own drowned in a haze of passion. The bonding instinct overwhelmed his fears with the imperative to provide anything she needed. This was his woman, his lover, his Chosen mate. Refusing her was impossible.
She doesn’t understand, she doesn’t know what she’s offering, Eli told himself desperately, trying to combat temptation and do the right thing for once in his life. He knew every exchange bound her to him a little more, tied them together in ways she didn’t understand. She didn’t know, but he did.
And heaven help him, he wanted it. All of it.
Her teeth teased his skin, her tongue drawing an erotic little pattern over his thundering pulse. Unconsciously he turn
ed his head, offering her complete access. Desire spiraled out of control between them as her love filled his mind.
Anything you need, he thought, drunk on feeling.
Her triumph surged through his mind. “Then do this for me,” she whispered, shattering any resistance he might have had left just before she sank her fangs through his skin.
His iron control was no match for the white-hot pleasure she shared with him, and Eli lost the battle to resist. She cried out with pleasure when he bit her.
The sweet ecstasy of their mutual sharing was intense, a firestorm of desire. The soft caress of her mouth against his skin was magnified a thousand times by the echoes of her passion flowing through him. He focused every ounce of the pleasure flooding his mind and body, and sent it like a thunderbolt straight through her.
Her response was instantaneous. She cried out against his throat as she came and almost immediately came again, her body tightening and rippling around him, caressing him right to oblivion with her.
Long moments passed before Eli could even think again. He felt her close the small wound on his neck and healed the pinpricks on her shoulder with a leisurely sweep of his tongue. Mindful of her weakness he’d been careful not to take too much from her, only enough to complete the exchange.
And on the heels of that thought came a wave of regret. Damn it, he’d sworn not to do this. Had he no regard for her safety, no control at all?
The answer to that was clearly no. Regardless of what she believed, he had the experience of aeons to back him up. His blood was fatally dangerous to her. Not only that, they had taken one step closer to bonding forever, and he hadn’t even asked her if she wanted it. Eli squeezed his eyes shut against the flood of self-recrimination threatening to drown him.
His every thought and action had been under iron control for centuries, and now he utterly lacked it. Why couldn’t he find the strength to push her away?
His heart leapt as her lips brushed his jaw and he knew exactly why he hadn’t pushed her away. No woman had ever affected him this way.
Renee accepted him.
He’d never experienced anything like the courage of this woman. She knew everything now, every sordid and shameful deed of his past, and she hadn’t turned away. Instead she’d matched his passion with her own and hadn’t let him keep his distance no matter how hard he’d tried.
Sweet Luna, she was too irresistible. How could he protect her from his curse when he couldn’t bear to deny her anything?
“We really shouldn’t do that again,” he murmured in her ear before resting his forehead against hers, knowing he’d do nothing differently were he given the same chance again.
Heaven help him if she ever realized the power she had over him.
She sighed, utterly sated in every way, and kissed him lightly. “Yes, we really should.” Then she giggled and snuggled closer. “I knew there was a reason you’re such a divine lover.”
He groaned at her pun. “That was really bad, little one.” But exhilaration burst through him at her lighthearted words.
Surely she couldn’t despise what he was if she was teasing him about it?
This time her laugh was decidedly sexy as she leaned up to nibble at his lips again. “No, I thought it was really good.”
He laughed with her, loving the way her skin felt on his, warm and slick with their exertions. Loving the way she smelled of him. Their mingled aroma was the sexiest thing he’d ever smelled. How could he want her again already?
Eli forced himself to pull away before the first sparks of desire turned into a blaze. He had to talk to her before they made love again, had to explain to her what the blood exchange meant regardless of his fear that she would hate him for it. Nothing in the world gave him the right to take this from her without her consent and he was already dangerously close to doing just that.
If he had complicated her future with the first exchange, this time he had jeopardized it almost beyond repair. Should she find a vampire she desired, their bonding would be incredibly difficult after what she had unknowingly shared with him.
One exchange would have been difficult to undo.
Two might be impossible.
“I don’t want to hurt you,” he murmured, fighting down an insidious burst of joy at the thought that Renee might be unable to bond with anyone else now.
“You didn’t hurt me,” she said, her voice already growing sleepy. “And if you keep worrying about this cursed blood nonsense, next time I bite you I’ll make sure it hurts you.” She paused, then nipped his throat in a way that was clearly meant to be threatening but only succeeded in sending a shiver through him. “A lot.”
He chuckled. He couldn’t help it, even though he knew he should tell her the truth and tell her now. She’d said she loved him. She’d given him her heart. The least she deserved in return was his honesty. He had to tell her what was happening between them—to do otherwise was reprehensible. But instead he kissed her and rolled off the couch to lift her in his arms without saying a word.
Once more, a tiny voice whispered in the back on his mind, and though he silenced the voice, the temptation would not die. Once more, and she’s yours forever…
No. It was wrong. He had to tell her the truth. Tomorrow, Eli promised himself as he carried her to his bed and held her tightly as she snuggled close. She rested her cheek against his chest, curling against him without even a trace of the fear he had dreaded. She brushed her lips over his skin and his entire body heated in response. Tomorrow I’ll tell her what it means and face the consequences.
But for now, for once in his eternal life, he wanted the fantasy. Surely that wasn’t too much to ask. He kissed her forehead and tangled his fingers in her hair as she drifted off to sleep, daring for the first time since his banishment to imagine a blessing in his life. To hope for something in his future other than duty and pain, something good, something no one could take away from him.
A bondmate.
One more exchange and they would be bound, heart and soul, for all eternity. He would never be alone again. His heart leapt at the fantasy and he closed his eyes, reveling in the sweet curve of her body against his and the softness of her hair spilling over his chest. One more exchange and he would have this contentment every day for the rest of forever. Just once more…
And he would be the worst kind of thief.
He sighed and tightened his arms around her. It had gone too far. He had to tell her.
He just didn’t know how.
Chapter Eleven
Renee woke with the sunset and stretched like a cat, utterly content. At once Eli’s arms tightened around her and she felt his lips brush her forehead. “Good evening,” she murmured, raising her head for his kiss.
He didn’t disappoint her. He kissed her slowly, thoroughly. When he broke away, he drew her head back down onto his chest where she heard the steady beat of his heart beneath her ear. She sighed and smiled as his hands caressed her back in long, soothing strokes. She turned her head to press a soft kiss to his collarbone, delighting in his shiver.
Before she could take things any further, however, Eli shifted away. Renee glanced up at him, surprised. He smiled at her to take the sting from his rejection. “We have to talk,” he said, tracing her cheek with a fingertip.
Apprehension cooled her desire instantly. She didn’t want to spoil this perfect moment with words. Bitter memories of the last time she’d woken in his bed tried to rise and choke her but she forced them away. His eyes were so warm she couldn’t make herself believe he regretted what had happened, or meant to try to drive her away again.
Still, that didn’t mean she necessarily wanted to hear what he had to say when a much more enjoyable pastime beckoned. She trailed a fingertip over his chest, then circled one flat nipple. “Do we have to? I might have a better idea. Want to hear it?”
Eli’s eyes flared with desire as he caught her hand and kissed every one of her fingers. But he laced his fingers through hers and simply held he
r hand to his chest rather than allowing her explorations to continue. “There are things that must be said between us. Things you must know before we make love again.”
Renee sighed and rolled away from him. Dread coiled deep inside her despite his reassuring manner. “Fine, if you insist.”
He didn’t allow her to retreat. In an instant she found herself in his arms again, her back pressed against his bare chest, their legs entwining intimately. His mouth traced a fiery line across her shoulder to her throat before caressing her ear with his tongue.
In spite of her nervousness, Renee’s eyes fell closed as delicious sensations shivered along every nerve. Right now he could tell her anything he wanted and she would agree, so long as he didn’t stop. The man had a wicked way with his mouth.
“Eli?” she whispered, trying desperately to hold on to her reason as it fled before the promise of his incredible passion.
He buried his face in her hair for a long moment before he spoke. Had it been anyone else, Renee would have thought he didn’t know how to begin, but she couldn’t picture Eli as anything but supremely confident.
His low murmur finally rumbled in her ear, more felt than heard. “You’re strong, little one. Especially for a fledgling.”
She frowned, unsure how to respond. Whatever she’d expected, it hadn’t been a discussion of her powers. “The Outcasts said the same thing.”
His arms tightened protectively around her at the reminder of her harrowing night. “What else did they tell you?”
Renee wished she could see his face, wondering if it would give her some clue to where he was going with this. She thought back over everything that had happened the night before, trying to remember what they’d said to her.
Suddenly something that had puzzled her last night came back to her. “What does first right mean? Kalen—the one who brought me to the park—he claimed first right, and their leader agreed.”
A low growl escaped Eli and his embrace turned hard and possessive for a bare instant. Renee’s eyes widened at his violent reaction to her simple question but when his lips caressed her bare shoulder again, the sound evaporated as though it had never been.
Amelia Elias - [Guardian's League 02] - Outcast Page 19