by Alyse Zaftig
Bella’s head felt much better already but she didn’t tell Logan that. The truth was she would rather stay here drinking wine, eating hot food, having fun days, and getting to know the sexy bear shifter than go back to her lonely tent and spend the days dreaming of being anywhere but there.
“The stars are so bright out here,” she said, looking up at the blanket of diamonds above their heads.
“Sometimes I miss civilization,” he said, gazing up at the night sky, “but I will say that the nights are spectacular in the wild. You can’t beat this view.”
He dropped his eyes to her and smiled. “Maybe you can.”
Would it be bad if I kissed him right now?
“Did I hear right?” she asked, taking a sip of wine instead. “You actually miss civilization?”
He sighed, wrapping a comforting arm around her and pulling her a little closer. “Sometimes.”
She wanted to know everything about him but he still wasn’t giving her too much to work with. She wondered if the answers to her questions were in the locked spare bedroom, but she wasn’t about to breach the trust that she had slowly built up with him to go and see.
“I do,” he said softly. “I liked my old life before it got turned upside down.”
“What happened to turn it upside down?” she asked, looking up at his face. The soft light and shadows of the candles danced on his face, making his scars glow.
His body tightened under her arm as he held his breath. “You can tell me,” she whispered. “It will be okay.”
He shook his head, swallowing hard. “It won’t be.”
“It might feel good to talk about it,” she said, taking his hand in hers. “To get it off of your chest.”
Logan looked down at the ground with sad burdened eyes. “There’s no getting this off of my chest.”
He didn’t want to talk about it and she didn’t want to push him so she just sat beside him and held his hand. If he didn’t want to talk about it, then that was fine, but she could still be there for him, still help comfort him.
The night took a lighter turn as the bottle of wine emptied, along with a second one, and they got a little bit tipsy.
“Hey, sleepy owls!” Bella yelled at the dark trees. “Wake the fuck up! You’re going to make me fail my dissertation paper!”
“Do you still love owls?” Logan asked, grinning at her.
“No,” she said with a laugh. “They are little selfish assholes. I mean, come on! Why are they always hiding from me? I’m awesome!”
“You are awesome,” Logan said, giving her a sexy smile.
Her chest was feeling nice and warm and the heat was starting to swirl in her stomach and settle between her legs as she slid her hand over his hard bicep. He was sexy as hell. She was really liking the whole mysterious, wild, shifter thing. It was a turn on, awakening something deep and carnal within her.
Logan wasn’t like the other boys she had dated with their perfectly gelled hair and designer clothes that fit tightly to their slim bodies. He was a real man. A strong, rugged, not afraid to get his hands dirty or to bleed for his girl type of man.
“I like it here,” she whispered, snuggling up to him.
His body loosened under her hand and she heard him exhale contently. “Really?” he asked after a moment of silence.
She looked up into his sexy brown eyes and smiled. “Really.”
“I didn’t think I’d ever speak with anyone else again,” he said, “let alone meet a gorgeous girl who liked being with me.”
“You don’t give yourself enough credit,” she said. “Once you stopped yelling every two seconds, you’re really fun to be around.” And those abs…
“I’m sorry again about that,” he said, looking away with shame on his face.
“It’s okay,” she said, squeezing his hand. “I was a bit of a bitch too.”
He hadn’t raised his voice or spoken to her with anything but respect all day. The poor guy hadn’t seen another soul in three years so his communication skills were bound to be rusty on the first night that he had a hysterical woman come crashing into his house. Bella just let it go, choosing to not let it bother her.
She could tell that it wasn’t the real him anyway. This was the real him. Calm, sweet, protective. She liked this Logan a lot.
When the second bottle of wine was finished, Bella began falling asleep on his arm. She tried to stay awake to enjoy the night but her eyes were so heavy and they kept closing no matter how hard she tried to keep them open.
She opened them with a gasp as her legs flew into the air. Logan was carrying her to the bedroom, cradling her lovingly to his strong chest.
A smile was on her sleepy lips as he placed her on the bed and gently kissed her forehead. She wanted to tell him to come and lie down beside her, to hold her all night, but her eyes became heavier than ever as she sunk into his bed and she fell asleep instead.
Chapter 8
“It’s not going to work out,” Logan muttered to himself as he curled up on the couch that was way too small for him.
Nothing ever worked out for Logan. Why would it start working out now?
Today had been the best day in as long as he could remember. He had spent the day with Bella talking and even joking around. She laughed at his jokes and he laughed at hers.
It had been years since he felt lighthearted enough to laugh. She just naturally brought it out of him and it made him realize how nice it could be to have someone around that he cared about.
But it wasn’t going to work out.
Who was he kidding? Really?
She was a city girl out here for a school project. He was stuck here in the wilderness forever, destined to be alone for what he had done.
In a few weeks or even days, she would pack up and say goodbye. She would return home and get over him quickly, finding a normal boyfriend who she would eventually start a family with.
Meanwhile, Logan would be trapped in the dark woods like a prisoner, spending the rest of every long day thinking about her, obsessing about her, torturing himself with the short precious memories that he had of her soft skin, the sweet smell of her hair, the beautiful view of her in her bra and underwear as she stepped into the thermal pool.
His bear groaned within when he pictured her bending over to grab her clothes and the way that her thin underwear stuck like glue to the dick-hardening curves of her round ass. She was incredible and he really didn’t want her to go.
The loneliness of the past three years had been tough but that would be nothing compared to what it would be once she left for good. It was going to crush him now, smothering him with a sense of loss until he couldn’t breathe. Until he didn’t want to breathe any longer.
Even his bear was attached to her and his bear didn’t like anyone. The vicious, out of control animal was the reason why Logan was out here in the first place and he just rolled over and acted like a teddy bear next to her. He could always feel him inside watching her lovingly.
Logan had considered that Bella could be the one that his bear bonded to but if it hadn’t happened by now, it probably wasn’t ever going to happen. Ferocious bears like his didn’t take on mates. They destroyed lives, they didn’t enrich them.
“Tomorrow,” he said, closing his eyes. “You tell her tomorrow.”
This had gone on for too long. He had gotten too attached for his own good.
The longer she stayed, the more attached he would become, and all that would do is make the pain that much more unbearable when she inevitably left.
Tomorrow he would ask her to go.
But tonight, he would indulge in his fantasy. He dreamed of Bella saying that she loved him and moving in to spend the rest of her days by his side.
It was unrealistic and would never happen, but it was nice to think about. It was nice to dream.
Logan fell asleep with a smile on his lips.
“When is your birthday?” Bella asked as she fiddled with the coffee maker. Logan was sitting
at the table, staring at her big ass but she didn’t mind. She liked how he looked at her abundance of curves.
“February,” he said. “The fourteenth.”
“Valentine’s Day?” she said, turning around with a smirk. “No wonder you’re so romantic. In a barbaric caveman sort of way.”
He laughed, making her chest flutter. “I’m going to buy you a coffee maker for your birthday,” she said, pushing as hard as she could to press the coffee. Only a few drops squeezed out. “I hate this thing.”
“You need electricity for a coffee maker,” he said.
“Then I’ll buy you a generator too for Valentine’s Day,” she answered, throwing her hands in the air and giving up. “Can you do it?”
He grinned as he stood up and traded places with her. Bella bit her bottom lip as she watched his muscular back, the ridges moving under his tight t-shirt while he made the coffee easily.
She grinned as she admired him work. When she had first arrived, he barked at her that she was in charge of cooking the dinners and doing the laundry. He must have seen how hopeless she was at doing both because he had been doing everything since she moved in, spoiling her like some kind of discount princess.
“What are we going to do today?” she asked as he filled the coffee press with more hot water.
His body tightened as she asked.
“We could go see the owls again but they’re probably just sleeping, so fuck them,” she babbled on. “Maybe we could hike to the top of the mountain, or go swimming again.”
He lowered his head, his back still to her. “I think you should leave,” he said in a flat voice.
It was like he yanked the breath out of her throat. “Okay,” she said when she finally recovered. “Why? I thought we were having fun.”
His knuckles turned white as he squeezed the counter top. “It’s better this way.”
“Why?” she asked, crossing her arms over her chest. “Why is it better this way?”
He was so frustrating. Always pulling her in close only to then push her away. She liked him and he liked her, so what was the problem? Why did he keep intentionally trying to sabotage it all?
His big shoulders drooped down as he let out a heavy sigh. “It just is.”
“That’s not good enough for me, Logan,” she said, gritting her teeth. “I need answers. Why is it better this way?”
He turned around with his hard dangerous eyes boring into her. “Because I’m a beast, Bella,” he snapped. His thick veins were snaking up his tight neck and his face was twisted in agony. “I need you to leave.”
“Do you need me to leave?” she asked, staring at him back. “Or do you want me to leave?”
He ran his hand through his brown hair, exhaling in frustration. “What’s the difference?” he muttered to himself.
“There’s a big difference,” she said, not holding back. “So, which one is it?”
He shook his head as he squeezed his eyes shut, rubbing them with his powerful hand. “I should never have brought you here,” he said. “It was a mistake.”
Bella jumped out of her seat and stuck her finger in his face. “That’s really fucking rude,” she snapped back at him. “We’ve been having a good time together and you’re really sweet when you’re not being such a dick! I like you, Logan. Why can’t you admit that you like me too?”
“I do like you,” he whispered, hanging his head. “That’s why you have to go.”
Bella crossed her arms and planted her big ass back on the chair. “Well, I’m not leaving. Not until you tell me why.”
“Fine,” he grunted, gritting his teeth together. “If you don’t leave, then I will!”
“Good,” she shouted at him as he stormed out through the door. “I’ll be here waiting until you get back!”
He shook his head, cursing under his breath as he ran toward the woods, finally disappearing in the trees.
Bella ground her teeth as angry heat flushed through her body. If he wasn’t going to tell her the answers to her questions, then she was going to find them herself.
She marched over to the drawers in the kitchen and ripped open the top one, grabbing the screwdriver inside. She squeezed the handle as she stormed over to the spare bedroom and started unscrewing the lock that was lodged into the door.
Bella took in a deep breath as the metal lock fell to the floor with a clang. She grabbed the door handle and opened it.
“It’s time to find out the truth.”
Chapter 9
Bella slowly crept into the spare bedroom with her heart pounding, expecting a monster or something to jump out at her.
But there was no monster. Just a small desk against the wall with a stack of papers on top.
Bella’s breath seized in her throat. Did this room have the answers that she was looking for?
She walked up to the desk and took the first piece of paper on the stack, a newspaper article that was so old, it was fading to a shade of yellow. It was brittle in her fingers as she picked it up and read it.
Local surgeon, Logan Wright, saves one-hundredth child.
Her eyes widened as she read the headline. Logan had been a pediatric surgeon and a famous one at that. That’s how he knew the symptoms of a concussion. He must have been a Harvard-educated doctor.
She scanned the article quickly, shaking her head in disbelief as she read how he developed a system to operate on children that increased the effectiveness of the surgery by eighty percent as well as diminishing the recovery time by as much as half.
He was a respected doctor with a thriving practice, saving the lives of sick children who desperately needed him. It didn’t make sense. Why would he leave all of that to come live by himself in the forest?
She placed the newspaper article down on the desk and lifted up the magazine that was under it. She gasped when she saw the man on the cover.
It was a younger version of Logan, smiling without the deep scars running across his face. He was gorgeous. He still was, but without the scars, he belonged on the cover of magazines.
The magazine was Scientific Breakthrough, with the headline of Logan Wright. Advancing Science and Creating Miracles.
She scanned the articles and kept flipping through the rest of the pile of magazines, newspapers, awards, and scientific publications.
It turned out that Logan was one of the world’s leading pediatric surgeons. He had developed dozens of new operating techniques that helped saved thousands of lives.
She lowered the National Geographic magazine in her hand, shaking her head in disbelief. Why hadn’t he said anything? What really happened to him to drive him all the way out here to such an unproductive life of solitude?
Bella looked but she found no mention of his scars and no mention of anything that could drive him to leave civilization.
She heard movement outside and quickly put everything back exactly how she had found it. Logan had returned and he was sitting on the bench on the porch, waiting for her.
“Shit,” she cursed, picking up the fallen lock and hurrying to screw it back into place before he came in and saw her with her hand in the cookie jar. She finally managed to get everything back to normal and strolled outside, fidgeting nervously with her hands.
“Did you find some pleasant reading?” he asked, raising his eyebrow at her.
Bella took a deep breath as she sat down beside him. “I’m sorry I trespassed,” she said, her cheeks turning a guilty red. “Why didn’t you tell me? You’re a world-renowned surgeon?”
“I was,” he said with a sigh. “That was another lifetime ago.”
Bella took his strong hand in hers and traced the lines on his palm with her fingertip. “These hands saved lives,” she said, staring at the rough skin with admiration. “You saved children. You saved families and you saved their parents from having to deal with the worst kind of loss.”
“Like I said,” he answered softly. “It was another lifetime ago. I’m a different man now.”
B
ella leaned in close to him, pressing her breasts against his arm as she brought her face up to his. He closed his eyes as she traced the four jagged scars that were carved into the side of his face. “What happened to you?” she whispered.
He stayed silent and still, holding his breath in as he kept his eyes closed. “I was performing surgery on a boy,” he finally said, opening his sad eyes. “Head trauma. Pretty bad stuff and I’ll spare you the sad details. But I saw the stepfather after I saved the boy. He reeked of alcohol. He was abusive to the boy’s mother. I could just tell by the way the two of them were acting that he was the cause of the head injury. He had hurt the boy.”
Bella’s skin tightened as she imagined the scene, imagined a person so evil that they could do that to a poor innocent child.
“My bear snapped,” he said, rubbing his forehead. “He wanted to maim the guy for what he had done and I almost lost control. I was in the waiting room of the hospital, surrounded by people and Cliff was desperately trying to rip out of me. It took everything that I had to rein him back in and I still almost lost the fight. I had never seen him so furious. I barely managed to keep him in but I did sprout fur and it made quite a scene.”
Bella held his hand, rubbing little circles on his skin with her thumb as he went quiet again, needing another moment.
“I don’t know what happened but someone in the military was alerted of my condition,” he said with a tight voice. “I was in their custody a week later.”
“You got arrested?” she asked. “For saving a kid?”
“No,” he said with a shake of his head. “Not arrested. They just took me. No charges. They just came to my house, sunk a dart in my neck, and when I woke up I was strapped to a gurney in some military facility.”
“That’s horrible,” Bella said with anger rushing through her.
“I was a test subject in a secret military program,” he said, lowering his eyes. “Some general had a creative idea to parachute enraged bears into enemy territories and let them reek havoc right before a ground attack. I was supposed to be the first bear.”