by Lin Oliver
“If only Billy took learning his punctuation marks half as seriously,” Mr. Wallwetter said. “His use of the semicolon leaves much to be desired.”
Billy couldn’t stop himself from letting out a little groan. Even with a peacock on his head, Mr. Wallwetter wasn’t really capable of lightening up. He just stood there wearing his sourpuss semicolon face and waited for Billy to answer.
“Actually, Mr. Wallwetter,” Billy said, “I know this will come as a shock to you, but I don’t enjoy punctuation all that much. I find that semicolons and I don’t have much in common. However, I do love studying the Chumash people. It’s almost like they’re alive to me.”
As he said that, Billy glanced over at Anacapa. He was sure he saw her smile.
Ruby followed grumpy Mr. Wallwetter over to the area where the students were taking their seats, leaving Billy facing Anacapa. The minute they were alone, she spoke.
“Where is he?” she asked, barely moving her lips.
“Who?” Billy tried to pretend he had no idea whom she was talking about.
“You know who. He promised he’d be here. He said yes with a capital Y.”
Billy winced. He didn’t want to tell her that the Hoove wasn’t coming.
“I’m sure he’s trying his best to get here,” was all he could muster.
“Oh, this makes me so angry,” Anacapa said. “He gave me his word and now he’s broken it again! He is so irresponsible.”
There it was, that word again. Irresponsible. It seemed to follow the Hoove around like his shadow on a sunny day.
“Anacapa, he tries to be responsible, he really does. He’s just got some … um … special circumstances to deal with,” Billy tried to explain.
“He is no more special than anyone else,” she said, anger shooting out of her dark, intense eyes. “He just thinks he is. Well, he can’t treat me like this. A promise is a promise. A good person keeps his word.”
Suddenly, her full body materialized from the statue and a transparent Anacapa … the spirit of Anacapa … shot into the air and began to fly furiously around the darkened hall. She circled the room in huge angry circles, her words echoing in Billy’s ears. “A good person keeps his word. A good person keeps his word.”
Although Billy could understand her feelings, it was still scary to see her acting out her fury. He looked around to see if anyone else noticed her zooming above them. Her statue in the diorama remained still and lifeless, as it always did. Her spirit was visible only to him.
“Hey, Broccoli, they sent me over here to get you,” Rod Brownstone said, tapping Billy hard on the shoulder. “Wallwetter’s getting pretty hot under the collar.”
“He’s not the only one,” Billy muttered, as he watched Anacapa zoom angrily around the room.
Billy felt a cold breeze whoosh by him, and he turned to see Anacapa coming in for a landing. She zoomed into the diorama and lighted on top of the hairy buffalo facing him.
“You tell your friend Hoover that any friendship between us is no longer possible,” she said. “Friends don’t lie to each other.”
Anacapa formed both her hands into fists and pounded on the buffalo’s hairy head. To Billy’s utter shock, the buffalo let out a groan and snorted. Was he a ghost, too?
“Hey, did that buffalo just snort?” he found himself saying before he could stop himself.
Rod Brownstone lifted the flap on his buffalo mask and stared at him like his brains had turned to marshmallow sauce.
“You know what, Broccoli? You’re strange. You see and hear things normal people don’t. I don’t know what’s going on with you, but one day, I’ll find out. You’re on my radar, Cheese Sauce, and don’t ever forget it.”
“You must go now, Billy,” Anacapa said, “and take this unpleasant buffalo boy away from me. Go join in the Chumash celebration. I will calm myself down and be with you to guide your feet.”
Billy hurried over to the stage area and sat down, just as his mother was giving her introductory remarks. She thanked the museum for letting them hold their Native American celebration there. She thanked the students for working so hard on their projects. She thanked the teachers for going beyond the call of duty to teach the students the Chumash ways. She thanked the parents for showing up to support their kids. She thanked the three or four tribal members who had come to the museum to support the celebration. She thanked the artist who painted the diorama murals and the taxidermist who stuffed the animals in the displays. She thanked the guard for directing traffic and the audiovisual staff for hooking up her microphone. She even thanked the janitorial staff for restocking all the paper towels in the bathrooms.
“Your mom sure is polite,” Ruby whispered in Billy’s ear.
“And long-winded,” Rod commented into Billy’s other ear. Even though he was wearing the buffalo mask, Billy could still catch a whiff of Rod’s breath, which smelled like an elderly fish had taken up residence in his mouth.
To be honest, Billy himself wondered why his mom was going on so long. She usually gave quick, cute little speeches. Then he realized that she was stalling, waiting for Bennett to arrive. The moment Bennett came rushing into the hall, she wrapped up the thank-yous and got on with the show. That was just like his mom to wait for Bennett. She always wanted to be sure everyone was included.
“Ladies and gentlemen,” she said, abruptly ending the parade of thank-yous. “I now ask you to travel with me hundreds of years into the past, when the Chumash were the only people living in and preserving this beautiful land we now call California.”
And with that, the show was on.
A group of seventh graders recited fascinating details about the Chumash tribe, like the fact that the average Chumash person ate 300 pounds of acorns a year. Then there was a Chumash fashion show where several girls modeled capes and skirts made of pretend animal hide, and Billy’s friend Ricardo modeled a headdress made of woodpecker feathers. Kayla Weeks demonstrated how the tribal women used rocks to grind acorns into flour. When she had trouble getting the acorn to break into small pieces, Anacapa floated over to her and guided her hands in the proper motion. Billy studied Kayla’s face carefully to see if she felt Anacapa’s presence, but he saw nothing except Kayla’s happy smile and mass of red curls bobbing up and down.
The bow and arrow demonstrations followed, and then the entire seventh grade sang a Chumash song, while a group of kids from the school jazz band beat out a rhythm with long sticks. Anacapa sang along, and although none of the audience could hear her, Billy recognized her beautiful, lilting voice.
It was almost eight o’clock by the time they were ready for the final dance number. Louise Niles, herself wearing moccasins and a beaded headband, introduced all ten couples who were going to perform.
“Good luck to us,” Ruby whispered to Billy as they joined the others on the stage.
All the kids formed a circle directly in front of the diorama. Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it), Billy and Ruby were placed in the front of the circle, where everyone in the audience could see them the best.
“I hope I don’t mess up,” Billy whispered to Ruby. His hands were sweaty and his mouth was dry as cotton.
“Trust me, you will,” Rod Brownstone whispered back, lifting the flap on his buffalo mask. He and Michelle Dines were the couple next to Billy and Ruby.
Ruby was busy waving to her parents and grinning into the camera they were holding up, so she didn’t hear Billy talking. But Anacapa did. She floated over to Billy and hovered above his head.
“Do not worry,” she whispered into his ear. “I am with you. I will guide your feet.”
The drumming began and Billy took a deep breath. He felt like all eyes in the great hall were focused on him. The dance began slowly, and Billy concentrated on his feet, counting out the rhythm of the steps as he had practiced. He crouched low and turned in a circle. Reaching out to take Ruby’s hand at just the right moment, they circled each other, shifting their weight from foot
to foot.
It was working. They were actually dancing!
But as the music sped up, Billy struggled to keep up with the beat. His steps became unsteady and he felt like he was teetering, about to fall down.
Oh no, he thought. Not here. Not now.
“I am with you,” he heard Anacapa say.
And then he felt her strong hands pulling him upright and guiding his feet in time to the music. He knew there was no way she would let him fall. Being supported like that was a great feeling, and gave Billy confidence to throw himself fully into the spirit of the dance. He listened to the drumming and began to feel the rhythm lifting his body and spirits. Letting out a spontaneous whoop, he started to spin in a circle, picking up speed as the drumming grew more intense. He felt like he and the music were one — that his feet, once so clumsy, were floating inches above the ground.
“Whoa, look at that boy go!” A ghostly voice sounded throughout the great hall, echoing off the domed roof. “I tell you, Billy Boy, your feet are on fire! You are doing the Hoove proud.”
Billy looked up and was shocked to see the Hoove, flying across the hall in his fastest hyperglide mode.
“It worked!” the Hoove called out. “I told them the truth and got a twenty-four-hour pass. Here I am in all my glory!”
The Hoove spun in midair and did a series of fancy somersaults beneath the dome. At that exact moment, Anacapa looked up from the dance and saw him, too.
“Hey, Princess!” The Hoove grinned down at her with a cocky wave of his cap. “I bet you’re glad to see me!”
Anacapa wasn’t at all glad to see him. In fact, she was furious. She was so angry, she let go of Billy and flew up to the ceiling to confront him.
“How dare you come this late?” she said. “You’ve missed the whole celebration that I worked so hard on. And most of Billy’s dance, too! You call yourself a friend? Some friend!”
Meanwhile, down on the ground, without Anacapa to hold him up, Billy had spun out of control. Dizzy from dancing in a circle, he spun wildly around, eventually losing his balance and crashing into the other dancing couples. He reached out for anything to stop him from falling, and found himself grabbing for Rod Brownstone’s buffalo horns.
“Let go of my horns,” Brownstone yelled at him. “They’re only papier-mâché. You’re going to pull them off.”
It was too late. As he headed for the floor, Billy clutched the left horn, and with one final wild spin, yanked it off. Still holding it, he tumbled to the ground, where he rolled smack into the middle of the diorama and collapsed at the feet of the hairy buffalo. The buffalo looked down at Billy holding a horn that looked very much like his own. Billy thought he heard the buffalo let out a nasty snort and saw him paw the ground aggressively with his cloven hoof.
It all happened so fast, he couldn’t be sure. Was he about to be attacked by the ghost of a hairy buffalo? No, it couldn’t be. Or could it? The buffalo’s nostrils were definitely flaring.
“I don’t suppose you want to dance,” Billy said to the buffalo, trying to lighten the situation up with a weak joke.
Again, he heard an angry snort and thought he saw the buffalo’s eyes move. Then Anacapa swept into the diorama. Her statue remained unchanged … it was only her spirit that flew in to save him.
“Calm down, oh noble buffalo spirit,” she said, placing herself between Billy and the buffalo. “This human boy means no harm. He is our friend.”
Instantly, the snorting disappeared and the buffalo became perfectly still, a peaceful expression overtaking his waxen face. Billy breathed a sigh of relief.
As his focus returned, the realization hit him that he was sprawled out on the floor of the diorama, and that the entire audience was howling with laughter at the sight of him. He felt his face turn bright red and the tips of his ears grow hot with embarrassment.
“I will help you to your feet,” Anacapa whispered to him.
“Stand up and take a bow,” he heard the Hoove call. “Make it look like you planned it.”
But Billy was too embarrassed and stunned to do anything but try to muster a sheepish grin. Rod Brownstone seized the moment to rub it in. He pulled off his mask and faced the crowd.
“This comedy event was brought to you by none other than Billy Broccoli,” he proclaimed. “Let’s all hear it for our own Chumash Clown.”
“Oh, no you don’t,” the Hoove called out. “Nobody makes fun of Billy as long as I’m around.”
Faster than you could say, “Rod Brownstone is a bully,” the Hoove swept into the diorama and stood in back of Rod, assuming his prime wedgie position. To the surprise of the audience, suddenly the smug Mr. Brownstone broke into a vigorous dance, but it wasn’t a dance of the Chumash variety. It was the kind of dance you do when someone is giving you the biggest wedgie of your life.
“No one talks about my friend that way,” Hoover Porterhouse III said as he tugged on Rod’s jeans. Even Billy had to laugh.
“Hey, do I know how to be a good friend or not?” The Hoove grinned, aiming his pointed remark directly at Anacapa.
He flashed her his most charming smile.
“Not,” she said, definitely not returning his smile.
And without another word, she left the diorama, flew up to the ceiling, and disappeared through the dome, bolting speedily into the night sky.
After the performance, Billy and Breeze sat on the museum steps waiting for their parents to come out.
“I’m never going to live this down,” Billy moaned. “I looked like a complete jerk up there.”
“Hey, it wasn’t a total disaster,” Breeze said. “After all, you got a chance to dance with a hairy buffalo. How many guys can say that?”
“None. And I wish I was one of them.”
Breeze’s phone rang. She didn’t jump to get it like she always did.
“If you want, I can just sit here with you,” she said softly to Billy. “Maybe I can come up with some comforting big-sister kind of stuff to say, like ‘you know, nobody’s even going to remember this tomorrow.’ That kind of stuff.”
Billy smiled. Breeze was doing her best to protect him. They had been brother and sister for a few months, and it felt very good. As he took a deep breath to try to let go of the tension of the evening, he became aware of the tart smell of oranges in the air. And sure enough, there was Hoover Porterhouse coming in for a landing.
“Billy Boy, we’ve got to talk,” he said. “It’s urgent.”
Billy turned to Breeze. “Why don’t you go see what’s taking Mom and your dad so long?” he said to her. “I’m okay out here.”
“You sure, little brother?”
“Yup,” Billy said. “And, Breeze, thanks.”
The minute she got up and headed back up the steps to the museum, the Hoove began to talk.
“Where is Anacapa?” he asked.
“You tell me, Hoove.”
“That’s just it. I don’t know. I’ve been looking for her all over the place. I’ve been in every room of this museum, including the Spider Pavilion, which, if I do say so myself, took a lot of guts because I am not partial to eight-legged bugs that bite.”
“They’re not bugs, Hoove,” Billy said. “They’re arachnids.”
“Fine. Call them whatever fancy name you like. I just don’t want them crawling up my leg … or lack of same. The point is, Anacapa is gone. Disappeared. Vamoosed.”
“She probably just doesn’t want to see you. She was pretty angry that you broke your promise again.”
The Hoove let out a sigh of frustration.
“I tried to keep my promise, I really did,” he said. “I did what you said … confessed everything to the Higher-Ups. And you know what? It worked. The minute they appeared and gave me that pass, I was out of there. I came as fast as I could.”
“She doesn’t know that. All she knows is that you were an hour late and missed most of the celebration you had promised to attend.”
“So what was I supposed to do? Tell her
that I’ve been grounded for ninety-nine years and that I keep getting grounded because I just can’t get it right? Let’s face it, Billy. I’m nothing but a big flop as a ghost. Look at tonight: I even caused you to screw up your dance. I can’t keep from messing up, no matter how much I care or how hard I try. Who would want a guy like me for a friend? Especially for all eternity?”
As soon as the Hoove finished speaking, a soft breeze that seemed to come from nowhere blew in and picked up a few leaves that were lying on the steps. Billy watched as the leaves rose into the air and slowly, gently, took on a human shape in front of his eyes. In a poof of pink light, the shape became Anacapa.
“I heard everything you just said, Hoover,” she said. There was no sign of anger in her voice now.
The Hoove looked totally flustered.
“So, like … you mean … everything … including the ‘grounded’ part and the ‘messing up’ part and all?” he stammered.
She nodded.
“Why didn’t you just tell me the truth in the first place?” she asked.
The Hoove looked from her to Billy, who shrugged as if to say, I told you so.
“That seems to be the question of the day,” he said. “Billy Boy here is also a big fan of telling the truth. I guess I was embarrassed.”
“About what?”
“I don’t know. I just didn’t want you to think of me as a bad guy. You’re so good and do such important things. And what am I? True, I’m a good-looking ghost with a lot of personality, but what else am I?”
“Why don’t we start over and I can find out,” Anacapa said. “You said you have a twenty-four-hour pass. Come with me and you can tell me all about yourself. The real you.”
A big smile crept across Billy’s face. He liked the way this was turning out for the Hoove. But he was totally surprised at the Hoove’s answer.
“I’d like to come with you,” he said to Anacapa. “But my pal Billy here is feeling pretty down in the dumps. I need to stay here with him and cheer him up.”
“Those aren’t the words of a bad guy,” Anacapa said. “Those are the words of a very nice guy.”