‘What?’
‘Just things,’ Janet said evasively. Honesty with children could only go so far. ‘Do you want to look in the rock pools or have lunch first?’
‘Rock pools!’ the twins shouted. They raced off, leaving Jamie and Janet walking alone.
‘What things,’ Jamie asked quietly, ‘did you get told?’
‘I rang you … in London,’ Janet said reluctantly. ‘Sharlene answered the phone. She told me she was living there. She said she was pregnant and was sure she could trap the father into marrying her.’
‘She did,’ Jamie confirmed. ‘Poor Paul had been very careful not to let her know where he was living, but when she turned up he couldn’t ignore the fact that she was pregnant. They got divorced about a year later.’
‘Who?’ Janet frowned in confusion.
‘Sharlene and Paul—the surgeon I was flatting with.’ Jamie stopped and gripped Janet’s arm. ‘Did she say it was my baby?’
Janet shook her head. ‘I guess she didn’t use any names. I just assumed …’
Jamie shook his head in disgust. ‘It all goes back to the same thing. You didn’t trust me.’
‘Sharlene told me she was sleeping with you,’ Janet said angrily. ‘She had to be telling the truth. She knew about that birthmark beside your—’
‘For God’s sake, Janet,’ Jamie broke in. ‘Did you not have any idea what sort of reputation Sharlene had? She was a prize nuisance around Theatre. Always hanging around when we were getting changed. Eyeing us over like slabs of prime beef. Of course she would have known about the birthmark. She practically used a magnifying glass.’
Janet laughed but she was perilously close to tears. ‘I had no idea. I just knew she was determined to marry a doctor.’ Janet searched Jamie’s face. ‘But you knew about the letter she wrote me.’
‘What letter?’
‘Telling me she was going to get married. That she wanted her things sent down because she’d need to shift before the baby arrived.’
‘I didn’t know anything about her writing to you,’ Jamie claimed. ‘I was talking about my letter. The one I sat up writing all night the day before I left for London.’
‘What letter?’ Janet whispered. ‘I never got one.’
‘Of course you did,’ Jamie said angrily. ‘I gave it to Sharlene and she promised to give it to you.’ His face changed as he stared at Janet.
‘I never got it,’ Janet reiterated. ‘Why would she have done something like that?’
Jamie shrugged. ‘Maybe she was keeping me for back-up in case things didn’t work out with Paul. Maybe she read it first and was too embarrassed to hand it over. Who knows? Who cares?’
‘I do.’ Janet shaded her eyes as she looked for the twins. They were bent over a rock pool within easy shouting distance. Janet turned back to Jamie. ‘What did you say? In the letter?’
Jamie was also watching the twins. He waved as they looked up. The boys waved back briefly, before returning their attention to the pool. Rory was pointing excitedly at something. Adam crouched, extending his arm into the water. Jamie kept his gaze on the children as he spoke wearily.
‘I said I loved you. That I didn’t want to live without you. That I wanted the chance to prove your trust hadn’t been misplaced. I said that I was sorry if I’d given you any impression that your possible pregnancy was a serious obstacle to our future together.’ Jamie took a deep breath. ‘I said I wanted to marry you and I gave you the address and phone number at my flat in London.’
Jamie caught Janet’s eye. She gave a small gasp. ‘That was how Sharlene knew where you were. Where Paul had gone!’
Jamie shrugged. ‘I guess.’ He held the eye contact. ‘I ended the letter by saying I’d leave it up to you. If I didn’t hear anything I’d know there was no future for us.’
‘Oh.’ Janet could think of nothing more to say. No wonder Jamie thought it had been her fault. It had been her fault.
‘I resisted trying to find you for a couple of weeks,’ Jamie continued bitterly. ‘But I couldn’t keep it up. I rang and rang that damned nurses’ home. I finally got an answer and somebody said they’d pass on a message—if they saw you. Then Sharlene turned up at the flat. She told me you’d gone to New Zealand. She had no idea of a forwarding address. I was angry that you could have given up on me so easily. I gave up at that point.’
The twins were racing towards them. They held their hands outstretched.
‘Crabs!’ they shrieked. ‘Look!’
Janet and Jamie looked and admired the tiny specimens. The boys put them in a bucket with some sea-water, ignoring the adults’ warnings that the crabs wouldn’t survive if they took them home. They let the boys show them the anemones in the rock pool, find some more crabs and attempt to prise limpets off the rocks before hunger sent them all up to the outdoor café for a lunch of hot chips and ice creams.
Janet found herself catching Jamie’s glance at frequent intervals. She was still trying to absorb what they had both learned, wondering whether it could make a difference to Jamie’s judgement of her. It still didn’t alter the fact that he’d been denied his sons’ early years. But was it enough to allow him to forgive her?
The playground held the twins’ interest for nearly an hour after the late lunch. Then they began to meander slowly back along the beach towards Cave Rock and the car.
‘Have you had a good time?’ Janet asked the twins.
‘Yeah.’ Rory transferred the bucket of crabs to his left hand, using his right hand to catch hold of one of Jamie’s hands. Adam claimed the other one, before taking hold of Janet’s hand as well. The four walked together, hands linked, their arms swinging in a gently co-ordinated rhythm.
‘Are you happy you have us?’ Rory asked Jamie suddenly.
‘I couldn’t be happier,’ Jamie said seriously.
‘Were you surprised to find there were two of us?’
‘It was twice as good,’ Jamie assured Adam.
Rory grinned cheerfully. ‘Mum says we’re twice as much trouble.’
‘That’s true.’ Janet laughed. ‘But it doesn’t change how much I love you.’
‘Even when we’re really naughty?’
‘Even then,’ Janet confirmed. ‘You can be very cross with people if they do silly things, but if you really love them you can forgive them anything. You never stop loving them.’ Her eyes met Jamie’s across the top of Adam’s head.
‘Do you love us, Dad?’ Rory asked earnestly.
‘Sure do.’ Jamie nodded.
‘But you loved Mum, too, didn’t you?’
‘Yes, I did.’
‘And you really loved Dad, didn’t you, Mum?’
‘Yes,’ Janet affirmed quietly. ‘I did.’
‘Mum did something naughty, didn’t she, Dad?’ Adam was carefully following his line of logic. ‘Not telling you about us.’
Janet swallowed painfully. Out of the mouths of children, she thought. The blame still rested with her.
‘I did something naughty, too,’ Jamie told the boys. ‘It wasn’t just Mum’s fault.’
‘But did that stop you loving each other?’
Janet and Jamie’s eyes met again. They spoke together. ‘No.’
Adam nodded, finally satisfied. Rory wasn’t.
‘So why can’t we be a proper family, then, and have a dog?’
Jamie smiled slowly at Janet. She drank in the message she was receiving and smiled back. She could feel tears of pure happiness gathering, misting her vision. There was hope. More than hope.
‘We’ll talk about it,’ Jamie promised. ‘Why don’t you go and let those poor crabs go in those rocks up there? When the tide comes in they’ll be able to go home.’
The boys wandered off, too tired to run any more. Jamie’s eyes were fastened on Janet’s face.
‘It’s true,’ he said softly. ‘I never stopped loving you.’
‘I never stopped loving you,’ Janet echoed.
Jamie caught both Janet’s hands.
‘Do you think the twins are right? That we could be a proper family and have a dog?’
Janet smiled shakily. ‘Being parents is good.’
Jamie grinned. ‘Being married might be twice as good.’ He pulled Janet into his arms. ‘Shall we find out, Janna? Try being a proper family?’
Janet didn’t need to answer. She couldn’t answer as Jamie’s lips claimed hers. She wound her arms around his neck, knowing her body could answer him far more effectively than any words. They were together at last. All of them.
‘Look at that!’ Rory looked up from the rock pool and poked his brother excitedly. ‘Mum and Dad are being really naughty!’
Adam caught Rory’s eye and grinned. The twins both spoke together.
‘Cool!’
All the characters in this book have no existence outside the imagination of the author, and have no relation whatsoever to anyone bearing the same name or names. They are not even distantly inspired by any individual known or unknown to the author, and all the incidents are pure invention.
All Rights Reserved including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. This edition is published by arrangement with Harlequin Enterprises II B.V./S.à.r.l. The text of this publication or any part thereof may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, storage in an information retrieval system, or otherwise, without the written permission of the publisher.
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First published in Great Britain 2000. This edition 2013.
by Mills & Boon, an imprint of Harlequin (UK) Limited,
Eton House, 18-24 Paradise Road, Richmond, Surrey TW9 1SR
© Alison Roberts 2013
ebook ISBN: 978-1-472-01220-3
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