by Seth Rose
However, since you will likely be meeting cute girls who aren’t drunk at parties, you need a way to reconnect. As we’ve discussed previously, you want to bring her into your world of socializing.
Once you have her number, text her to set up plans for the weekend. I hate getting into long text conversations with girls. It’s a waste of time. Sure, it can help you build rapport, but if you’re already in class together, or have mutual friends, that rapport is already there.
Moreover, you don’t want to treat this girl like she’s the only female in your life. You have plenty of girls, therefore you’re not going to spend time gushing over her.
Invite her and her friends to a party or event you’re having. It’s better if a girl comes with friends to a party. Otherwise she’ll feel out of place and won’t have a good time. On top of that, she may ‘Have to meet her friends later’. Instead, have her bring her friends over and they can mingle with your friends. This is all part of building a network.
If she does insist on coming alone, even better.
Of course, the go-to route is ‘Netflix and Chill.’ Saying you’re just going to watch a movie is great cognitive dissonance, in that it presupposes nothing will happen, but innocent TV watching. Girls these days are catching on, but it still beats asking a girl outright if she is DTF.
Chapter 22: Online Dating (And Dating Apps)
Online dating is a huge phenomenon. It has been popular for many years for singles of all ages. Yet with the advent of apps like Tinder, dating through phone apps and online websites will only continue to grow.
Since graduating college I’ve come around a bit to the idea of online dating. However, when it comes to online dating in college, I am not a fan. There are two major reasons for this:
1.) Lower Value: The common conception of online dating is that people who use it can’t get laid. Whether that’s entirely true doesn’t matter. That’s how people view it for the time being and we have to accept that. So if you decide to bang girls online in college and that gets around people will perceive you as a guy who can’t laid. Yes, I know we shouldn’t care what others think, but it’s important sometimes to consider the thoughts of others when it comes to getting laid through your social circle. If you fucked nothing but fat girls, would people perceive that positively? No. Same thing with dating online.
2.) Skill set: Online dating can be a useful tool for guys who are inexperienced with girls, or have too much anxiety to jump in the deep end of the college sex scene. I can see the value in this, but when you take into account the aforementioned point, it’s something that I don’t think should be pursued. College is a great time to develop your social skills and a feel that by pursuing online dating it will prevent them from putting in a valiant effort at building this skills.
Tinder is the exception here. A lot of people use it, and no one will give your slack for occasionally flipping through your phone. On a college campus, there is a high concentration of hot girls looking to get laid, making it especially useful.
Social media has also become a form of online dating in its own right. Many guys use Instagram to send messages to chick, just as they would on a dating site. Though I’m not a huge fan of social media. It’s a waste of time for the most part.
A lot of young people get sucked into social media because all their friends are into this. Being a sheep is never a good idea, but being part of the ‘In’ crowd is crucial. So, maintaining a Facebook account, and maybe an Instagram account is going to be useful.
Chapter 23: Love, Don’t Hate
Never at any point in college, let alone life, should you find yourself cursing women. Too many men fall victim to this trap.
For example, men get anxious and frustrated when a girl:
Stays out late with her friends
Doesn’t text you back right away
Is flirting with another guy
Talks about past hookups
Is being distant, bitchy, moody etc.
Won’t have sex right away
These are all natural reactions, but they are illogical ones. If you’re at a big state school, there are thousands and thousands of pretty girls on campus. Don’t get caught up with just one girl. If a particular girl ever gives you trouble, just laugh it off.
You should also refrain from judging women, both verbally and in your head. Doing so will only turn women off.
Instead, always show love. Be the most fun guy in the room. Give off warmth, safety and good vibes in the presence of women.
College is too short for negativity. Spend that precious time creating lasting memories.
Chapter 24: A Few Last Words on Sex and Dating
Here are a few additional subjects on game, sex, dating, social circles and more:
Booty Calls, NetFlix and Chill
Because of the lack of traditional dating on college campuses, there should be a strong emphasis on hookups and fast sex. To become successful at this you must learn the art of the booty call.
In scenarios like with my ex-girlfriend, simply telling a girl to meet you and then go to your place can be effective.
Another popular way that has emerged these days is ‘Netflix and Chill.’ (Insert GLL article on socially acceptable ways to ask to have sex). This is really an effective method…
Don’t be shy about booty calls. Girls want sex too.
Phone Numbers
Here’s an excerpt from my article “Stop obsessing over phone numbers”:
***
When I actually began approaching women on a consistent basis, I always settled for numbers. My logic was that if, for example, I get three numbers in one night, then I will subsequently have three future fuck buddies. A pipe dream to say the least… In fact, if I were to get one of three girls out in person that would be solid. It doesn’t sound promising, but being realistic, numbers don’t always work out.
After realizing that this method was stupid, I had a paradigm shift. Instead of going for three number closes and getting one out with just a possibility of getting laid, what if I were to push those same three interactions a far as possible that night.
Assuming one out of three we’re DTF, then I’m likely to get a same night lay (SNL). Looking at it this way, phone numbers are almost useless. Why would I even waste my time texting girls and going on dates over a period of several days if I can get laid that night?
Yes, there is a time and place for phone numbers, but if you’re trying to get laid then why beat around the bush with numbers?
When I was starting out I enjoyed getting numbers. It was validation in the form of a small win. By settling for a number I achieved a victory. If I were to push it further and get rejected by trying to go for the bang, then my victory is moot, and am left with a stinging rejection. In order to succeed with women one must accept these rejections.
If you’re approaching women, remember what you’re goal is: To get pussy! Don’t settle for less. Don’t settle for a number.
Sure, getting a number is an accomplishment, but what’s the point of getting a phone number if you don’t get laid? You could get 50 phone numbers, and bang none of them. Whereas another guy could simply bang one out of those 50 and his notch count with be 1 higher than yours, without going through the physical and mental hassle of texting that many women.
Guys need to realize this and stop obsessing over numbers. While some situations will require you to get a number (pretty much always during the day, she’s with a big group of friends, on her period etc.), push the interaction as far as possible, and if all you get is a number, great! Above all, don’t lie to yourself. Don’t tell yourself that you couldn’t have pushed it further. You can do it brother!
***
Think of how many guys a cute college girl meets in a week: Throw in a few trips to the bar, classes, mixers with a fraternity, Tinder and Facebook and you’re looking at least a few dozen guys a week. Sure, she may remember you the next day or two when you text her, but that is no guarantee. Alway
s push the interaction as far as possible.
In many situations though getting a phone number is warranted. Remember though that a phone number is simply a combination of ten digits in a specific order that will allow you to communicate with someone. The keyword there is allow. Nothing is guaranteed. She may never respond to your text. Even if she does respond to your text the odds of anything coming to fruition is 25-30%.
So, how to follow up on a phone number? Let’s say you got her number on a Friday night. Text her Sunday with something simple like, “Hey it’s Seth. What’s up.”
Nothing special.
Assuming she responds jump right into making plans. None of this “How was your day shit”. Don’t try to be cute and silly, get to the point. Either she likes you or she doesn’t. Texting something witty won’t change that. Ask her if she wants to hang out this week. If she agrees, sweet.
“Dates”
(Check to see if you wrote about this section earlier. If so, find ways to implement this information).
One thing I didn’t mention in the player profiles is that none of us went on dates. Never.
Okay maybe a few here and there, but it was never our intention.
There is no need to go on a traditional date in college. There are so many social activities going on each and every week that it is pointless. Instead of sitting in a quiet coffee shop on a Tuesday afternoon, you want to get this girl out in a party environment, similar to the one you met her in. Even better if you can get her directly to your place.
Like I discussed earlier, you want to be the facilitator of fun. You should be trying to host social events or at least plan them on a weekly basis. I wouldn’t recommend throwing a party just because you want to bring a girl around a la Ted Mosby in How I Met Your Mother. If you have a pregame or party planned for Friday, invite her to it. If not, then just tell her to come out and get a drink on an off night like Wednesday.
It really doesn’t matter where you meet this girl: The bar, the library, class etc. Always invite her to either a party, a bar, or your place. By doing this you get her out when she’s looking to drink, party and make bad decisions. When you do get her out simply follow the outline presented earlier about sexual escalation.
I haven’t had too much luck inviting girls directly over to “watch a movie” (i.e. Bang) on an off night. Towards the end of my last semester I decided to try out having a girl over to make dinner with. It went well. We didn’t bang, just a make out, but that won’t be the case for all girls. If you can cook a decent meal this is something you may want to try out if you and/or the girl are chill people. While this is no doubt a good idea and is effective at getting her directly to your place, I still think inviting her out to a party, bar etc. is the best bet.
The first time I hooked up with my ex-girlfriend I was texting her Friday night. I told her we should “meet up”. Not even at a bar or party, just meet at some random intersection. It worked.
We met halfway down a street off-campus and then we walked hand in hand to my house where she proceeded to give me a blowjob. She was a bit promiscuous yes, but hey most college girls you meet at bars are.
Aggressively pushing for sex will never cost you points. Even modest girls appreciate a guy who exudes masculine, sexual energy and is shameless in his pursuits.
Relationships
Let’s start with Fuck Buddies: Fuck buddies or Friends with Benefits (FWB) are when a guy and girl have a relationship that is just physical, without emotional attachment. They’re fulfilling sexually, but come with less drama, bullshit and time commitment than having a girlfriend.
Most relationships in college will start as a FWB situation. Keep it there as long as possible.
To get a FWB two things need to occur:
1.) You both enjoy being in each other’s presence, for the sole purpose of having sex, and
2.) She needs to see a potential relationship with you down the road. While the first one is fairly obvious, the second is something that most guys wouldn’t think of.
My ex in college was first my fuck buddy for a period of about 8 months. This is the length for many relationships and during this time we were just fucking. If there were events that required dates, we would take each other, but besides that there wasn’t much contact. The reason she was together with me for so long before getting into a relationship wasn’t because I was a sex stud, a super good looking guy (okay I was a bit of both), and she couldn’t get laid. The main reason was because she saw the potential for a relationship with me and saw being a FWB as a means to get me to be her boyfriend. With a bit of persistence on her end it worked.
That said, you are not obligated to date this girl afterwards. If she wants to be more “serious”, just ignore or refuse her request. If it’s a dealbreaker, move on to the next girl.
Getting a FWB is something that came naturally to me. Getting girls in general did not, but when I got a girl keeping her around was a breeze. I wouldn’t say that I was ever the proverbial ‘nice-guy’ pushover, beta, but I treated people well. I was well-rounded and interesting, and fun to be around.
Another important thing was that I wasn’t judgmental, especially towards girls and their sexual escapades. Those things were important for them to see potential in me as a boyfriend, but what helped a lot was being aloof. Being aloof, non-needy, and non-judgmental are some of the most important characteristics that one must possess to keep a FWB.
An excellent article on the subject is “Retention: Fuck Buddies” by Chris from Good Looking Loser.
Me and him really see eye to eye on the subject, and he lays it out in a lot more depth than I wish to do in this book, although I have quite a bit more to say on the topic.
I had another long term FWB and it followed the same principles as above. In fact, I was seeing both these two girls at the same time, and they both showed up at my house one night. One left crying, I ended up dating the other one. This isn’t me bragging, but I think it’s important to understand female thought patterns and this situation highlights them. Both these girls saw with their own two eyes that I was hooking up with another girl (and likely other girls). Girls like guys who they know get laid. Actually seeing me with another one exacerbated that fact.
This is important when it comes to FWB relationships because you need to give her the impression that you’re fucking other girls. Don’t come right out and say it, but do everything up that point. Guys think that hooking up with multiple girls would turn them off, but it’s the exact opposite. Not only does fucking other girls make you look good, but it is crucial to maintain a non-needy attitude. By having more than one option for sex, you won’t be constantly blowing up any single girl’s phone.
No girl would admit that she likes a guy who is fucking other chicks. Her friends would tell her to “Forget that loser”, but that’s not how it works. She’s just going to keep coming back for more. After the run in with the two girls, I still hooked up with them both after that night despite the one girl’s friends vehement protests. On paper it was a terrible decision on her part, but hooking up isn’t logical. Girls don’t evaluate the pros and cons of banging certain guys on paper (at least I think so). It’s an emotional one. One that is a result of thousands upon thousands of years of evolution. They have been programmed to bang the alpha male, and one of the most prominent traits of an alpha male is having multiple sexual partners simultaneously.
While I’ve highlighted the importance of having more than one girl on lock, this doesn’t mean I’m advocating for you to go around breaking girl’s hearts. If it happens, which it most likely will, it happens. As long as you don’t go out of your way to do it that’s fine. I’ve broken a few hearts in my day, but I consider myself a real nice, stand-up guy. You should strive to be that too. There’s no reason you can’t.
One last note on fuck buddies is the amount of time it takes up. A lot of guys avoid having a girlfriend because it takes up too much time, but I’ve found that seeing multiple girls can ha
ve the same effect. I recall one Thursday night Junior year we had a mixer with a sorority. I met a cute blonde girl and went home with her that night. I didn’t get very far, as I only got her shirt off. It was late so I decided to spend the night anyway.
The next night I went over to one of my regulars’ place and hooked up, and the night after that I brought over my main girl. Come Sunday I go over the girl’s house that I was at on Friday and then that Monday I went over to the girl’s house I met on Thursday. Confused yet? I sure was.
I slept in my bed once in 5 nights. There’s much worse things in this world that I can think of than sleeping in multiple beds, but it can be a headache hooking up with these girls. I had homework to do, friends to chill with, meetings to go to and I found myself losing time by seeing these girls. So the girl I had met that Thursday I decided to stop seeing her. She wasn’t putting out anyway, and I didn’t need her. There was no point in trying to spend time getting in her pants when I was already getting ass on the reg.