by Seth Rose
I actually had put my eggs in one basket. There was this girl I started talking to and I spent my first two weekends with her, and while some of my friends were getting fucked up at the “parties” on campus, I was actually having meaningful conversations with someone. Which I honestly don’t think is a bad thing, but I feel like I missed out on making some important connections. Also, things didn’t end up going anywhere with that girl. What are your thoughts on spending a lot of time with a particular girl?
Now I understand that I need to take initiative to find parties. You seriously recommend walking up to people’s front doors? Would that actually work? Honestly, that’s something I’m going to do if things continue like this.
There’s no way in hell I’m going to Pussy Purgatory. I have been waiting for this chapter of my life for so long and I can’t settle for that. I’m not shy, and people tend to like my personality, so I think I can make this happen. I’m also going to take your advice for setting up social events with my small group of friends.
From what you’ve told me, joining a fraternity seems like a gold mine. I’m definitely going to look into that. In the meantime, do you think making friends with someone in a fraternity is a good thing? Or are the girls they set you up with exclusive to the members?
Thanks for the advice for the FWB stage. This is one of my biggest problems when I think about trying to get laid. I realized that I’m really indirect about sexuality with the girls I talk to. I’m really going to try to put this to practice, being both aloof and more direct.
And Seth, you’re so right, my environment is horrible. There are so many autistic ass nerds here that spend all their free time playing video games inside their rooms. But I can’t do that man. The two campuses I mentioned previously aren’t far apart, so it’s pretty easy to commute to the other campus where there are tons more girls. But I have no connections over there.
A friend of mine and I go “scouting” for girls, but with all our work of walking around both campuses and starting up conversations with random girls I’ve only gotten a few numbers and even less friendships.
It’s caused a brother’s hope to dwindle on numerous occasions.
Anyways, thanks again for your words of experience. I’m so glad I found your article because this is what I needed for this journey of mine. I hope you understand how useful your information is. Sorry for the long reply!
And sure, I don’t mind if you publish this.
Seth:
No worries my man. Glad to help. I'm rewriting my book 'Big Man on Campus', so your email is pertinent. By the way, if you haven't read the book I'd recommend...because I wrote it haha!
Let me go through your reply.
And I haven’t been to a single party since I’ve been here!
Yep, this is all too common. And you're not alone. I was the same way. You really just have to ask around and reach out to people.
I actually had put my eggs in one basket. There was this girl I started talking to and I spent my first two weekends with her, and while some of my friends were getting fucked up at the “parties” on campus, I was actually having meaningful conversations with someone. Which I honestly don’t think is a bad thing, but I feel like I missed out on making some important connections. Also, things didn’t end up going anywhere with that girl. What are your thoughts on spending a lot of time with a particular girl?
I feel ya. Meaningful conversations are great, and as an introvert I really enjoy them. That said, you have the rest of your life to have good conversations. Don't miss out on parties just to chit chat. I don't recommend putting all your eggs in one basket like with this one girl. Don't toss her to the curb, but you need to branch out. My guess is that you met this girl and you've got a good thing going. You're afraid to let her go and branch out.
You're getting too comfortable! It sounds like a good thing, but this comfort leads to lack of action, which is the opposite of what you need.
Things brings up two good points though: 1.) You said your friends were getting fucked up on campus. Why not just to them with parties? It's a start at least. 2.) If you want a good shot at hooking up with this girl, bring her to a party. Drink together and escalate. Obviously don't do anything if she's really drunk, but otherwise it's a good opportunity.
Now I understand that I need to take initiative to find parties. You seriously recommend walking up to people’s front doors? Would that actually work? Honestly, that’s something I’m going to do if things continue like this.
People always did it at my school. I can't guarantee it will work haha, but it's worth a try. The houses to approach are ones where people are spilling over into the yard and front porch. Obviously if it's a small gathering then it won't fly. Frat parties are perfect too, especially since you're a freshman.
There’s no way in hell I’m going to Pussy Purgatory. I have been waiting for this chapter of my life for so long and I can’t settle for that. I’m not shy, and people tend to like my personality, so I think I can make this happen. I’m also going to take your advice for setting up social events with my small group of friends.
Yes, of course you can make it happen! Guys who are players aren't superheroes. They're just guys who have more access to women. You need to get access too.
From what you’ve told me, joining a fraternity seems like a gold mine. I’m definitely going to look into that. In the meantime, do you think making friends with someone in a fraternity is a good thing? Or are the girls they set you up with exclusive to the members?
I'm not sure how the Rush process works at your school, but it's worth approaching fraternities and asking them. Say you're interested in joining and ask what social events (not just parties) they have going on.
Yes, try and make friends with the frat boys. Even if you don't rush those connections will go a long way! As for the women, they'll definitely be inclined to hook up with members, but they're not 'exclusive' to the brothers. Just don't come across like the only reason you're joining is for the girls.
Thanks for the advice for the FWB stage. This is one of my biggest problems when I think about trying to get laid. I realized that I’m really indirect about sexuality with the girls I talk to. I’m really going to try to put this to practice, being both aloof and more direct.
Just be more sexual in general. When you meet girls, you'll either scare them away or make them really attracted to you. It makes things easier, and gets rid of this confusion with being 'just friends'. Don't be a pervert, just make your intentions clear.
And Seth, you’re so right, my environment is horrible. There are so many autistic ass nerds here that spend all their free time playing video games inside their rooms. But I can’t do that man. The two campuses I mentioned previously aren’t far apart, so it’s pretty easy to commute to the other campus where there are tons more girls. But I have no connections over there.
A friend of mine and I go “scouting” for girls, but with all our work of walking around both campuses and starting up conversations with random girls I’ve only gotten a few numbers and even less friendships.
It’s caused a brother’s hope to dwindle on numerous occasions.
The biggest myth in college is that it's a giant party where everyone is getting laid. False! Most guys experiences is like the guys playing video games.
Environment is everything man. That's why frats are so great.
As for 'scouting' for girls, your time is going to much better spent just going to parties. Day Game on college campuses has a lowww rate of return, especially if you have no 'social currency' to offer, that is, you don't have any parties or events to invite them to.
All in all, don't lose hope. Reaching out was a smart move. Most guys will never do this and will never change. Though the first few weeks of college are crucial, you have four more years ahead of you. Don't get down on yourself. Just start hitting these parties ASAP.
Plus you're studying engineering. Smart choice!
Anyways, thanks again for
your words of experience. I’m so glad I found your article because this is what I needed for this journey of mine. I hope you understand how useful your information is. Sorry for the long reply!
Cool. I don't mind helping out. I enjoy it actually. Unfortunately, I can't send unlimited emails back and forth (maybe I’ll do consulting one day), but do let me know how it goes and feel free to ask follow up questions. Though before you ask me a ton of questions, I ask that you take action first. That way I can see you're serious, plus we can dissect what you're doing right and wrong.
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The next e-mail was received weeks later, after he took action:
Student:
My man Seth,
It’s me [Student], the guy from [State university].
I just wanted to let you know that I’ve read your email and I’ve been taking action for a little while now. Thanks again. Right now, I’m on a journey. Since we last talked, things have slowly but surely progressed. I’ve been to my first college party, lounges, and I got my car. I haven’t gotten to where I want to be at yet, and things are still discouraging at times, but I’m gonna get it. The next time I email you will be when I’ve accomplished something major!
Have a great day!
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Taking action is so key. Even just baby steps will go a long way in college, as it is a four year experience. If you push yourself out of your comfort zone Freshman year, you will come a long way.
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Forum Posts from the Good Looking Loser Forum
Spring Rush
I'm a fellow Big-10er--I went to OSU (good football season this year!).
Anyway... MSU's Greek Life isn't bad from what I recall. Sig Chi is good there (again, this is all from what I recall from several years ago) but Sig Chi is good everywhere IMO as they are one of the most reputable frats around.
Are you familiar with Greek Rank? I'd take what you read with a grain of salt, but it should give you an idea.
As for Spring Rush, I wouldn't say it's necessarily more competitive there's just less guys rushing in general. Don’t think of joining a frat like you're competing with other guys--you're competing against yourself. If you're a cool dude and friendly, then they'll bring you on board. And with a ton of different fraternities, you'll no doubt have a shot.
I can definitely sympathize with being nervous, but that's nothing to worry about. Frat guys are used to this as they do rush a couple times a year and have younger guys who can be timid--no matter. *All you have to do is show up and make small talk!* Really, it's that easy.
It's like Chris says when it comes to getting laid...Show Up/Talk to people+ Look Good =Success
I also want to emphasize don't try too hard. Just act natural and seem somewhat interested in joining their fraternity. Don’t ask their life story but ask a few questions like "Why did you join XXX?" "Are you able to balance being in a frat with school?" etc. Don't suck their dicks and worship them. They're just guys like you!
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There's nothing wrong with cold approaching (but there can be), but the point is that cold approaching is less efficient than being part of an "in" social circle namely fraternities. When you're in a fraternity and you're "networking" with sorority girls it's not cold approaching, your simply just meeting new people. Try and get close with your future bros and have them introduce you to cute sorority girls.
As for cold approaching, unless you're really, really weird you won't develop a reputation. If you come across as being creepy you're doing it wrong. There was a guy on my campus who is notorious for being creepy. He actually tried to rush my frat, I've even talked to him before!! here's an article from the Huffington Post, ya really:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/30/ohio-state-creeper-sean-larson_n_4177244.html
Dude was wayyyy into the PUA stuff, but everyone here is above that stuff so it shouldn't be an issue.
Edit: ^^Holy shit lol. That's the same guy I'm talking about!!
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Second, read the College Guide by Chris. It's fantastic stuff.
Third, getting laid in a frat is simple, depending on the type of frat you're in. A guy with bad game in a top frat will probably get laid more than a guy with good game in a lower tier frat. Keep that in mind. Social circle RULES college campuses. What type of campus are you on? That plays a role.
Assuming you're in a decent frat, just show up to the social events, mingle, isolate and escalate. Rinse, wash and repeat for a few years. It's more complicated than that, but if you're familiar with GLL then you'll understand how to do that.
Finally, you should never have to worry about escalating too hard or being "creepy". Creepy guys are ugly, dorky, and have terrible social skills. If you're good looking, masculine, and have social skills, women will see you as confident, not creepy.
My frat had some creepers, but only because they had poor social skills. It would definitely rub girls the wrong way sometimes, but a girl isn't going to write off an entire frat because of one creep. Girls go to frat houses expecting to get hit on, party and banged. The only time you will get a bad rep is if something serious happens like rape, which is in reality rare on college campuses despite what the media will tell you.
Hope that helps!
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College God How To?
Hey man,
Your two posts are pretty broad, so I can't hit on every topic. I'll just focus on your first few weeks.
A lot of people suggest to just be super social your first few weeks of college. This is a great idea--if you're a social person in general. I'm introverted, and in my first few weeks of college I had a hard time just going up to people and making small talk. A better method is to simply put yourself in a position where socializing is natural.
For example, most colleges should have some type of 'fair' where all student organizations can promote themselves--this is a perfect opportunity for you. Sign up to and plan on going to a bunch of club and fraternity events the first few weeks of school. They'll give you free food and will be nice to you to try and get you to join.
As for being black and joining a frat, no problem. We had several black guys in my frat, one was even from Cameroon. Unless you go to a school in the South where there is legit racial tension that may be an issue. Otherwise it won't be . That said, you should go to at least 3 different fraternities. They'll have numerous events the first couple weeks of school. Try and balance out which events you go to keep your options open. The frat brothers will be nice to you to try and get you to join so just act natural and relax. If they like you awesome, if not then it’s for the best. Honestly diversity is being pushed so much on modern college campuses that by having a straight white fraternity they'd probably draw some criticism from the schools administrators.
As for getting white sorority girls, in all honesty it may be harder, but that all depends on the school. You just really need to max out your swag factor, but at the same time don't act like a 'brotha'.
Hope that helps.
-Seth Rose
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Big Man On Campus by Seth Rose- Get the Girls, Get the Grades
(This is a review of the 1st version of this book).
Big Man on Campus by Seth Rose is a book about how to be successful in college. I read this book to learn more about the intricacies of social life in college, and to get tips on how to get laid in a college environment.
Fortunately, that’s the primary focus. Every kid who wants to get laid in college should read this.
This is a free e-book, so there is no excuse not to read it if you’re interested in fucking college girls whether or not you’re a student.
The book contains advice on being sociable, creating the right vibe, and whether or not to join a fraternity. The author, like most Red Pill guys, is a late bloomer. I think most readers can identify with passages like “I wanted to go to the parties the cool kids were going to. I wanted to be popular in school. I wanted to get laid, or at the very least kiss a g
irl! So I set out to change things.” This was my mindset after high school, though I didn’t truly apply it for another 3 years.
It’s the practical advice section that, for me at least, really delivers. I’m slightly older than the target audience, so I’ve already got the vibe and energy part down.
A couple of examples of actionable advice: First, before even starting the school year he recommends to search for a Facebook group with your graduating class and start sending friend requests and messages to people. Second, is if you’re living in a dorm room, leave your door open all the time. It will draw people to you, making it that much easier to be social. If you see other doors open, walk in and introduce yourself. I can guarantee that the 18-year-old version of myself would never have done any of these things unless I’d read something like this.
Seth repeatedly states that you must take charge, be the facilitator.