“That’s actually kind of sad. Are you getting rid of him?” She asked worriedly.
Turning on my left blinker to pull into the doctor’s office, I turned and surveyed Viddy’s face. Her beautiful black hair was in its usual French braid. The braid was curled around her neck and resting in between her breasts, held in place by the seatbelt.
Her clothes were some of the usual I’d seen her in. Black dressy pants and a white button down shirt. I’ve always wondered how she’d dressed when she couldn’t see, but the more I studied her, the more I realized that she probably just had a bunch of things that were inter-matching. She could probably pick just about anything in her closet and it’d match.
“Of course I’m not getting rid of him. What’d make you think that?” I asked, turning into the parking lot between traffic and pulling into a spot near the front door.
“I was cruising the internet for dogs last week. I found a website where you can adopt retired police dogs and combat dogs that performed in a war zone. I just assumed.” She replied, still facing straight ahead.
Was it me, or was she actually looking at me?
Resisting the urge to wave my hand wildly in the air, I exited the car, let Radar out, and went around to Viddy’s side just as she emerged.
Stifling the annoyance that surfaced when she didn’t wait, I followed behind her.
“There’s a step in about five feet. A single one.” I said, distractedly, as I walked in front of her and got the door.
She scaled the step with little effort and walked into the building.
“Thank you for the ride, Trance. I appreciate it.” Viddy said. “You can leave now. I’ll call a cab to get me back home.”
I snorted. “In your dreams, sweet cheeks. You care if I come in with you?”
“Well,” Viddy hesitated. “I don’t think so. It’s not like I’m going for my gynecologist appointment or anything.”
The quip was out before I even realized I was saying it.
“We can play doctor later. I’ll give you a thorough exam.” I teased.
Then my gut tightened. Would she freak out?
She surprised me though, by laughing. “Oh, that sounds like fun. Do men have man doctors like women have lady doctors? I could reciprocate.” She whispered to me and then walked away.
I choked on my spit. The woman was surprising, if anything else.
I watched as she went up to the receptionist desk, Radar at her side, with Viddy’s hands planted firmly around the collar at his neck. She checked in with the woman, and then turned to regard me.
“Where do you want to sit?” She asked.
It rankled that she wasn’t quite looking at me, so I walked up close to her and moved her face slightly until she was staring into my eyes, despite the dreaded glasses that were covering them.
Pushing them up onto her head, I said, “Anywhere. A couple seats in the very back are open. That okay with you?”
“Lead the way.” She said, holding out her hand.
I took it gratefully, glad that she was accepting help, even though I knew it rankled her to do so.
Once we were seated, I finally replied to the comment she’d thrown at me before.
“As for men having men doctors...no, I don’t think so. At least, I’ve had no need for one. The general doc that I see does all the nice prostate checks, though. And there’s no way you’re doing that to me. Just FYI.” I chuckled.
As I watched, her face went from a nice porcelain white to a cherry red in 2.3 seconds.
“I-I-I....” she stammered. “That wasn’t nice. You’re a shithead.”
“Hey! You started it!” I scoffed.
“Viddy Sheffield?” A nurse’s voice called from across the room.
My head lifted and I saw a cute young woman in bright lime green scrubs holding a chart and standing with her back to the open door.
“Oh, that’s me.” Viddy said, standing.
And I watched in fascination as Radar went back to his spot at Viddy’s right and started leading her through the throng of chairs until they reached the nurse’s side.
“You have a helper today. He’s beautiful.” The nurse replied once they were through the door.
“Oh, yes he is. This is Radar. He’s a K-9 officer. But he isn’t mine, he belongs to the handsome man behind me.” Viddy replied, using her thumb to point at me.
I rolled my eyes. “How do you know I’m handsome? I could be covered in pimples and have three double chins for all you know.”
Viddy burst out laughing. “Yeah, I’ve been in your arms. I know you don’t have an ounce of fat on you. As for the pimples, I can’t see those. It doesn’t matter. Your voice is beautiful, though. You have a big heart, and you care about me. That’s what matters.”
I felt humbled. It was nice, for once, not to be judged by my looks.
“Aww, y’all are so cute together! I wish I had a man like yours, honey. I’m jealous.” The nurse cooed.
Neither one of us corrected her.
“Now, step here on this scale,” the nurse said as she directed Viddy to the scale. “And we’ll get your weight, and then your blood pressure.”
“Close your eyes, Trance!” Viddy called.
Why I closed my eyes, I’ll never know. Maybe because she asked me to. Maybe because I knew it mattered to her. Whatever the reason, I closed my eyes until I heard her step back off the scale and the nurse move the weights back to the side.
After the nurse took Viddy’s blood pressure, followed by her pulse, she led Viddy into a room that had a ton of posters on the walls. One showing the nerves in the head. Another one telling what part of the brain did what.
The one that really interested me was the one that spoke about all the common types of blindness.
Walking over to the chart, I called over my shoulder. “What kind of blindness do you have?”
“Cortical Visual Impairment.” Viddy replied quickly. “Why?”
My eyes flicked over the multiple names until I found the one she was speaking of and started to read.
“This says here that the vision loss sometimes can be permanent, but most cases that isn’t so. What happened to you, exactly?” I asked over my shoulder.
“Viddy has nearly complete blindness in both eyes. When she was in her youth, she had a motorcycle accident that caused her head to make contact with a brick wall. All the swelling on her brain caused pressure to be put on her optic nerves, which in turn, cut off blood flow to those areas that needed it. The tissue became hypoxic and degraded until it only functioned minimally at best. Viddy’s case is one of the worst I’ve ever seen.” A man’s voice said from behind me.
I turned to stare at the older man. He reminded me of my pops.
He was older with nearly white hair, and a beard that was completely white. His eyes were a cool piercing green, and he was about my height, maybe a fraction of an inch shorter than my 6’0.
He was wearing bright purple scrubs with yellow trim. “A LSU fan?” I asked, extending my hand to him.
He smiled and shook it back. “Down to my marrow, my boy. I’m Dr. Morris. I’m Viddy’s neurologist. Are you her husband?”
“Ah, no. I’m just a...” I hesitated, looking over at Viddy. “Good friend.”
He smiled wistfully as if remembering a ‘good friend’ of his own before turning and regarding Viddy, who was now sitting on the exam table.
“Viddy, my dear. How are you doing?” He asked, taking a seat on the round stool near her feet.
She smiled, but kept her head pointed at me. “I’m well, Dr. Morris. How is your wife?”
“She’s doing perfectly. We have a new grandbaby we get to see all the time. It keeps her lively.” He replied. “So the nurse tells me you’ve been getting headaches. How about you tell me what’s been going on.”
Her head dropped as if collecting her thoughts, before she looked up again. This time, though, she turned her head in the doctor’s direction.
“Well, for
the past six months or so...I’ve started seeing...things. Lights. Movements. The shadows have become a little more defined. Like right now I can tell that you’re in front of me, and Trance is against the wall. Radar is laying in the middle of the floor. Anything in high contrast has become much, much easier to make out. And my good spot over here,” she said indicating the left side of her face. “Has gotten sharper. I can see almost perfectly out of that one little sliver.”
My heart had started pounding when she started her explanation, and by the time she finished, I was in shock. I hadn’t realized she could see at all. Then again, I hadn’t really known what, exactly, ‘blind’ meant until I’d read the definition just a few moments ago on the poster.
Dr. Morris stood, going over to Viddy and shining his pen light over her eyes.
I moved to get a closer look, stopping just at the edge of her left side. I studied her pupils as the doctor shined it in first one eye, followed by the other.
“Tell me about these headaches. Do they happen towards the end of the day, when you first wake up? Or are they all the time?” Dr. Morris asked.
Then he took his hand and started at one side of her face, circling it around her head.
“I can make out that you are moving your hand. I can see that Trance is at my side. As for the headaches, they mostly start at the end of the day. The only time I get them when I wake up is if I’ve left my glasses on all night.” Viddy sighed.
“How do you know I’m the one at your side?” I queried.
She snorted. “You’ve got a lot more bulk than Dr. Morris does.”
Well didn’t that make me feel stupid?
“Alright, Ms. Sheffield. Here’s what I think.” He said, taking a seat again. “I think the headaches are more or less from you using your eyes. You’re probably doing a lot more straining than you think you are, which in turn, is making you almost tense as you study what you’re trying to observe. However, if the headaches start to come more often, and are still there the next morning, I would like you to come back in. As for your eyesight...”
He stopped and seemed to search for his words carefully.
“You’ve always been my toughest case. You had no damage to your optic nerves. Your brain has always been fine. It’s just one of those phenomenons that I couldn’t quite figure out. I’ve been waiting for a break when it comes to you. You have no medical reason as to why you cannot see. After your head trauma, the swelling put pressure on those nerves, but they’re still intact and have no degraded tissues. Hell, you could wake up tomorrow and see perfectly. It’s just one of those things that I have no explanation for. Maybe your brain is just now catching on to that fact.” Dr. Morris finally said.
The thought of her waking up tomorrow and seeing perfectly made what felt like bees, take flight in my stomach, making me almost giddy with excitement. God that would just be absolutely perfect for her. However, life wasn’t always that easy. In fact, it was downright cruel at times to the people that deserved it the least.
“I...I woke up one morning a month ago and I could see. At least, I could see for all of thirty seconds, and it went away again. It was just a glimpse, and in fact, I’ve almost convinced myself that it was just a dream, except it’s just too real.” Viddy said timidly.
Dr. Morris and I studied her for long moments as we processed what she’d just said.
“Tell me what you saw, and what happened after.” Dr. Morris requested.
She shook her head, her eyes turning down, and her cheeks flushing. “Uhh, well...”
“Come on, my dear. We’re all adults here.” Dr. Morris urged.
“Well, I had to put my dog to sleep, and Trance helped me with that. He took me home that night, and afterwards, he tucked me into his bed. When I woke up the next morning, I walked into the bathroom without thinking about the fact that Trance was in there. It wasn’t until I saw him through the shower stall that I realized he was naked...and that I was actually seeing him naked. But my vision was gone just as fast as it showed, so I just figured that my imagination was very good. I was still really tired, and I’d been crying a lot the day before. I’m thinking I was just daydreaming.”
I remembered that day with a crystal clear clarity. I’d already worked out in my in-home gym, ran three miles on the treadmill, and exercised the dogs that morning. I’d thought to slip into the shower while Viddy was still sleeping before I woke her up to take her to school.
Only she woke up while I was still in the shower. Masturbating.
I’d seen the color rise high in her cheeks when she’d realized she walked in on me showering, but never did I contribute it to her actually seeing me in the shower.
“Well, that’s certainly not out of bounds. You’ve got no reason not to be able to see. It is possible that it could’ve happened. Give me some details, and we can compare.” Dr. Morris ordered.
“Uhh,” Viddy started. “This bathroom was white...”
I saw the bathroom in my mind. It was white. White tiles, white walls, white rug, white shower. But a lot of single men that live alone have fairly utilitarian lifestyles I, for one, have no fashion sense whatsoever.
“What else, dear. Tell me what Trance looked like.” Dr. Morris suggested.
Viddy’s cheeks pinked, and I knew right then, that she had, for sure, seen me. There was no way she’d be blushing like that if she hadn’t.
“Uh, he has a tattoo on his arm. A black one with yellow/gold trim. He has hair was soapy, and his lashes were thick and black. He has a skull and crossbones on his chest, and some lettering on his arm with stars going up to his armpit.”
As she was speaking, I started to categorize each of the tattoos she was describing. The police emblem on my right arm that said to serve and protect was one of my first ever tattoos once I entered the academy after discharging from the Air Force. The stars represented each of the friends I’d lost to the war in Iraq. The lettering saying Freedom isn’t Free. The last she spoke of was The Dixie Wardens MC tattoo on my chest.
Well I guess I could be thankful that she didn’t give the old doc a heart attack by telling him I was jackin’ off.
Dr. Morris catalogued my tattoos and my eyes before smiling wide.
“That’s what I’m looking at,” Dr. Morris turned back to Viddy.
“Really?” She gasped.
Her hands went to her chest, over her heart, and tears started gathering in her eyes.
“Why didn’t you ask me a month ago? I would’ve answered you.” I asked curiously.
“Uh, well, I was already embarrassed enough to be honest.” She giggled.
“Well then, my dear, my only guess now is try to make your life as stress-free as possible. Get as much sleep as you can. Maybe start with what you did that day, and go from there. It might be that it’s you keeping yourself from going any further, not any medical reason.”
“So you’re saying that I’m making myself be blind?” Her voice rose.
Dr. Morris chuckled. “No, dear. I’m not. But under the right circumstances, I’m saying that if you’re relaxed enough, that maybe you’ll have the same results for a second time. Now, make sure you call me if the headaches worsen; but other than that, you’re doing fine in my book. Have a good day, you two.”
“You ready?” I asked Viddy as Dr. Morris left, closing the door quietly behind him.
“Yep, just lead the way.” She said, offering her hand.
I took it gladly, and led her out into the bright lunchtime air.
“Do you have to go back to school?” I asked once we started to the car.
“Nope. I’m done for the day.”
It was as she was sliding down into the seat that her shirt gaped, giving me a clear view of her cleavage that I decided that I couldn’t play the ‘friend’ game anymore. I needed her in the worst possible way, and I was going to have her.
I was tired of fighting my feelings for her.
I’d given her the month.
I’d made sure I wasn’
t going for her when she was on the rebound from her relationship
I wanted her.
“Trance, can we go by the phone place so I can get a new number?” Viddy asked as I got into the car and started it up.
“Yeah, I don’t have anywhere else to be until seven this evening for my shift. We can do whatever you want until then. Why do you need a new phone?” I asked her.
“My ex-boyfriend has made it a point to call me every single day, begging for forgiveness. Needless to say, I’m tired of it.”
Chapter 3
Cop a feel? No…feel a cop.
-Thought of the day.
Viddy
I laid down in my bed, eyes heavy from my day. Although it was a short day at work, I’d done way more than I usually did.
After my doctor’s appointment, Trance took me to the phone store where I proceeded to change my number, and buy a new phone that was the newest on the market.
Android had come out with a new smart phone that worked well for those that were visually impaired. With the new app that was developed, I was able to navigate the touch screen with one swipe of my finger to turn it on. From there, I was able to use the rest just by my voice.
Then we went to Armadillo Willie’s for lunch, and followed that up with a walk at the park with Radar.
Which made me miss Hemi something fierce.
When I got home at six, Trance had given me a small kiss on the cheek before leaving. Not before asking me out on a date, though.
I agreed to go for a ride with him Saturday night, and then we’d pick up some dinner the next state over.
I was all for that. I loved riding. Ironically, it was how I became blind in the first place. One single act of teenage rebellion had nearly killed both my sister and me in one fatal swoop.
My dad had just gotten a new motorcycle that he refused to let us ride on with him. We were both sixteen and stupid. So what do we do? Well, of course, we ride it by our goddamn selves! That’s what!
One could guess how that ended.
We didn’t even make it out of the driveway before we wrecked.
I was thrown from the bike and hit the brick wall of our garage. In the meantime, Adeline was impaled on the shifter of my dad’s 350 Chevrolet motor he had sitting under the carport.
Kevlar to My Vest Page 4