He hoped that a year’s holiday would get him to change his lifestyle and get him away from the American dream of constant cream cakes and chocolate cookies. He needed some self-discipline. He had seen Londoners in films and on the television, and they all seemed so slim in their pinstriped suits and bowler hats and brollies. He had never seen a fat man in a pinstriped suit and bowler hat and carrying a brolly.
Cynthia loved to make quiches and pies. Cherry pie and apple-and-rhubarb pie were particular favourites. She also baked lovely cakes, and her blueberry muffins were especially good.
Cynthia and Tobias were both in their thirties and they hadn’t had any children. They both came from large families. Cynthia’s grandmother had eighteen children and her parents had nine children; Tobias was the youngest of thirteen children. They wanted a life before they had children - or, at least, they wanted an adventure.
Their house, however, was always full of other people’s children. The only pets they had were fishes, which they kept in a large aquarium. Their third-floor apartment in New York had a panoramic view of the city, and the apartment was full of Tobias’s photographs and Cynthia’s paintings. When they came to England, they rented their apartment out to two New York fashion designers called Francesca Florence and Dune Passion, who promised to look after their tropical fish.
Tobias reminded the fashion designers that fish only had a three-second memory.
“Oh,” said Dune, “is that why they suddenly change direction - because they can’t remember where they are going?”
They all laughed, and the two fashion designers wished Cynthia and Tobias a brilliant vacation in England and a safe journey.
The American Duo Travel Through Time
The Musty Old Magical Curiosity Shop was about to take off suddenly into the air, and the American duo were in for a big surprise. They walked into the shop, and they were so excited by all the antiques and things that the shop sold. It was full to the brim - or fuller.
Cynthia and Tobias noticed Mabble Merlin behind the counter of the shop. He was wearing a Victorian suit, and Cynthia and Tobias thought he looked quaint. In fact, the suit was made in the year 1860, and it looked like the kind of suit a doctor might wear.
“This is such a quaint little shop!” said Cynthia. “I never noticed it yesterday. We were just going to take a trip to Stonehenge when we noticed your shop.”
“I’m so glad you noticed it,” said Mabble Merlin.
“Well, we are from Brooklyn, New York,” said Cynthia. “I’m Cindy, and this is my partner in crime, Toby.”
“And I’m Mabble Merlin,” said Mabble Merlin.
“We’re staying next door at the Sands of Time Hotel. We plan to stay in England about a year,” said Cynthia in her Brooklyn accent.
“It’s a working holiday, you see,” said Tobias, chipping in.
“Well,” said Mabble Merlin, that’s time enough for you to enjoy a real trip. If you are interested, I’ve got two exclusive tickets for you both for the Magical Mystery Tour.”
“An adventure!” said Cynthia excitedly.
“The Magical Mystery Tour sounds awesome,” said Tobias in his broad Brooklyn accent.
“Just say yes,” said Mabble Merlin, “and we can be on our way right away. There’s no need to book it; we’ll be off in a second.”
“Wow, that’s fantastic!” said Tobias.
They both turned to Mabble Merlin, and Cynthia said, “Count us in for the Magical Mystery Tour. We’re both on board.”
Mabble Merlin said, “That’s wonderful. You’ll be going somewhere you haven’t been before. Give me a few minutes and we’ll be off.”
Mabble Merlin closed the door of the shop and came back to the shop counter. Cynthia and Tobias looked on as Mabble Merlin pulled a lever and the shop till disappeared beneath the shop counter. He pulled another lever and a space-age-looking console rose up in its place. It was covered with futuristic-looking buttons, lights, flashing numbers, colours and symbols. The lights flashed green, red, orange, blue, yellow, purple and indigo. Suddenly three seats popped up in front of the console panel - just enough seats for Mabble Merlin, Tobias and Cynthia.
“OK, Cindy and Toby, take your seats, fasten your seat belts, recline and take a deep breath.”
Cynthia and Tobias were excited and amazed.
“Wow, this is really something!” said Tobias in his broad Brooklyn accent.
“This is so magical!” said Cynthia. “Is it a cyberspace trip, where we look at the screen and just think and feel we’re going somewhere?” asked Tobias, trying to figure out what was happening.
“Oh, no - definitely not cyberspace. You can do a cyberspace trip if you want, or we could do the real thing - a real trip back in time. You choose a date and we’ll go back there,” said Mabble Merlin.
“You’re joking! You’re kidding around, Mr Merlin!” said Tobias.
“No, I’m not kidding around. If you want to go, your wish is my command.”
“OK,” said Tobias, slowly taking in the information. “Personally I just love the Tudors - anything to do with King Henry VIII. It would be awesome to go back to that historical period.”
“Yes, I also love the Tudors - anything to do with Anne Boleyn. I just love the way they dressed in that era, and I love their passion and enthusiasm for life.”
“Well, that’s a deal,” said Mabble Merlin.
His mud-brown eyes sparkled and twinkled. He definitely liked the idea of the Tudor era himself. When Cynthia and Tobias turned again to look at Mabble Merlin he was no longer wearing his old Victorian suit; he was now wearing a pointed purple hat with strange symbols swirling on it and around it as if they were alive, which of course they were. It was as if the hat was helping Mabble Merlin to think - and indeed it was a very intelligent thinking cap, and it was helping him to concentrate on going back in time.
The long purple robe that Mabble Merlin was now wearing was also covered in similar strange symbols; they made Cynthia and Tobias feel woozy.
Tobias piped up: “OK, let’s do it. I’m going to choose the year 1533 - a good year for the Tudors.”
“Right then,” said Mabble Merlin, becoming excited at the thought of going back to that year. “Toby, please tap the year into the control panel.”
Tobias’s hand was shaking. He felt scared and excited at the same time. Already he could almost see Henry VIII coming alive before him. He could almost hear the music from the court and hear the laughter.
Tobias steadied his hand and carefully tapped the digits 1-5-3-3 into the control panel. Then Mabble Merlin instructed the two travellers to recline in their chairs. After a few seconds the shop began to make a strange whooshing, popping and gurgling noise. It was ever so strange, like the noises of some underground world. After a few more strange noises the shop suddenly whizzed upwards. It was better than being on an aeroplane. Cynthia’s and Tobias’s tummies did somersaults as the shop went faster and faster - much faster than an aeroplane, that’s for sure.
Cynthia and Tobias gripped their seats. They didn’t dare speak. They wondered if they had made a huge mistake. The lights and numbers on the control panel were flashing, and beeping noises combined with the whooshing, popping, gurgling and whizzing. Gradually something became visible on a screen in front of them. They saw the outlines of towns and cities getting further away and then they saw an ocean - it looked like the Pacific Ocean. By now they were miles and miles up in the air.
Suddenly they began to slow down until they were just drifting upwards, and now there was very little noise.
Cynthia’s heart was beating fast and Tobias was so excited he could hardly breathe.
Mabble Merlin said, “We have now left the earth’s atmosphere and we’re heading for deep space.”
Then a very soothing feminine voice came over the speaker
: “We are now leaving the earth’s atmosphere and heading for deep space, Captain Mabble Merlin,” the voice said.
Cynthia and Tobias were glad to hear another voice. It somehow convinced them that they were actually on a real cosmic trip.
“Do you require drinks, Captain Mabble Merlin?” said the soothing voice over the speakers. This was obviously the cosmic air hostess, and suddenly she appeared on the screen. Cynthia and Tobias expected her to look artificial, like an android, but she was very human-looking except that her eyes were turquoise and she had small crystals over her eyebrows and over her temples. She also had hair like blonde candyfloss.
“Hello, Xanadu. It’s very nice to see you today,” said Mabble Merlin. “Yes, we would like three mineral juice drinks, please - with booster, please, Xanadu.”
“Yes, Captain,” replied Xanadu Crystal.
Three tall glasses instantly materialised on the counter as if by magic. They were all different colours and fizzing like lemonade.
“Wow!” said Tobias. “They look great, but what is the booster?”
“Oh, that’s magnesium, rare minerals and plankton, so you can acclimatise your nervous system to space travel.”
“Oh, I suppose I do need something like that,” said Tobias with a laugh.
“Which one is mine?” asked Cynthia.
“Yours is the purple one, Cindy. It’s got purple chlorophyll in it. Believe it or not, chlorophyll, which is what makes grass green, was at one time purple. And, Toby, the green one is yours. That’s the colour of plankton, fresh from the Pacific Ocean. The pink juice, which is mine, has pink coral in it. It is very good for bones and teeth. The pink coral was harvested from the Great Barrier Reef. We will be drinking these mineral juice drinks with added boosters throughout the trip.”
“Sounds cool!” said Tobias, before taking a sip of his. “This juice tastes delicious. It tastes a bit like kiwi fruit and lime.”
“It’s quite possible that it has those fruits in it,” said Mabble Merlin.
“Wow!” said Cynthia after taking a sip of her juice. “Mine tastes like bilberries and plums, and there’s a coconut taste too.”
“Possibly there’s a bit of coconut milk in there as coconut milk is perfectly balanced,” said Mabble Merlin.
Mabble Merlin sipped his through a straw.
“Hmm,” he said, “that tastes as good as it looks. I can taste peaches, strawberries, Chinese gooseberries and cherries.”
The exotic drinks relaxed them, which is what they were designed to do. They were no longer so nervous about their trip into the unknown.
“Where does Xanadu Crystal come from?” asked Tobias.
“And who does she work for?” asked Cynthia.
“Well, Xanadu comes from the constellation of Pegasus.”
“Oh, yes,” said Tobias, “I know about Pegasus from Greek mythology. Pegasus was the winged horse. He was born from the body of Medusa, the gorgon, when she was decapitated by Perseus.”
“Oh, yes,” said Cynthia, “my Greek mythology is coming back to me now.”
“And in the midnight sky Pegasus is right next to Andromeda. It is the seventh largest constellation in the sky,” said Tobias. “It’s a square with three tendrils from it,” he said as he drew it in mid-air.
On the plasma screen above the control panel the night sky appeared complete with the constellation of Pegasus.
“To answer your second question,” said Mabble Merlin, “Xanadu works for the Magical Mystery Tours Corporation - working for you, working for us. As you can see, Cindy, Toby, we’re a large and reputable corporation.”
“Relax back in your seats and just enjoy your trip,” said the voice of Xanadu Crystal.
“Oh, boy, this is some trip!” said Tobias. “I feel very relaxed and dreamy now.”
“So do I,” said Cynthia.
“We are now entering deep space,” said Mabble Merlin.
Then on the plasma screen there appeared what looked like the whole of the cosmos - it certainly looked like deep space - and a voice announced, “This is Deep Earth calling.” (A cosmic-looking man appeared on the screen.) “Hi, Captain. This is Quantum Phoenix.”
“Hi, Quantum,” said Mabble Merlin.
“You are now going through deep space. Please enjoy the scenery,” said Quantum.
“He looks very cosmic,” said Cynthia.
His skin looked smooth and flawless and his hair was very blonde.
“Yes,” said Mabble Merlin, he’s from Cygnus Xi. Cygnus Xi is a neutron star,” he explained.
“Oh,” said Cynthia, “I didn’t know anyone lived on neutron stars.”
“Well,” said Mabble Merlin, “they are very useful places as they have many wormholes, through which you can travel backwards in time. Wormholes are like cosmic motorways.”
“That sounds like science fiction,” said Tobias.
“Well, it’s actually science fact,” replied Mabble Merlin.
“Have we far to go?” asked Cynthia.
“We have to pass through this wormhole of Cygnus Xi, and then we will land in the year 1533, as you wished, Toby.”
“Oh, that’s just incredible,” said Tobias excitedly.
“We’ll have some more refreshments and a light lunch,” said Mabble Merlin.
Mabble Merlin pressed a button and Quantum Phoenix came back on to the plasma screen.
“How can I help, Captain,” he asked.
“Can I order three cosmic pizzas?”
Suddenly the three pizzas arrived. They were Crab Nebula pizzas with space-dust toppings, and there were also three large drinks and each of them was a different colour. This time Mabble Merlin had a yellow drink, Tobias had an orange drink and Cynthia had a blue drink.
“This pizza is delicious,” said Cynthia.
“And my drink is lovely,” said Tobias.
“Yes, they do serve good food. You need to eat well if you are travelling backwards in time through wormholes. These are seafood pizzas, and the topping is full of mineral salts,” said Mabble Merlin. “Now just relax and enjoy the view of deep space. We will soon be heading towards earth in the year 1533.”
Cynthia and Tobias relaxed into their seats to enjoy the views of space and the view of 1 million stars twinkling. The view seemed endless, and it was making them feel sleepy.
Suddenly the plasma screen flickered and they could now see Planet Earth - a blue planet. They could see the land and the ocean, and they were zooming closer with every second. Soon they could see London. They assumed it was London, though there were no cars and no high-rise buildings. There was plenty of smoke, and there were plenty of trees and pastureland. They could see men on horseback galloping.
Then the voice of Quantum Phoenix came over the speakers: “We are now arriving on earth in 1533, the Tudor era. King Henry VIII is on the throne. Have a nice trip.”
“Thank you, Quantum,” said Mabble Merlin.
“How will we manage without hot running water and flushing toilets,” Cynthia asked.
“And we won’t have televisions, telephones, radios or fridges,” said Tobias.
“And what about a bed to sleep in? I think Tudor beds will be uncomfortable, so we may end up with bad backs,” said Cynthia.
“Don’t worry about that,” said Mabble Merlin. “You will be staying in the accommodation above this shop. You are in room 103, with en-suite shower and bathroom, hot running water and room service.”
“Can we take our mobile phones with us?” asked Tobias.
“Well, they won’t work, but I will give you both a wristwatch communicator. You can use them to talk to me or to the Magical Mystery Tours headquarters if you need to.”
“Can I take my camera with me?” asked Tobias.
“Yes, you can,
as long as no one sees it. I will give you a satchel with a secret pocket to keep it in.”
“Can I make sketches or paint and take my easel?” asked Cynthia.
“Yes, I think that will be fine,” said Mabble Merlin, “but remember pens were not invented in 1533 so be a little discreet. If you have any problems, use your communicators and help will be on hand.”
Suddenly there was a jolt and the shop landed opposite Hampton Court in Abbot’s Lane, between a dressmaker’s owned by Mrs Greensleeves and a tavern named The Partridge in a Pear Tree. They had arrived.
Room 103
Where the shop had landed there had been a baker’s shop called The Baker’s Dozen. The shop owner, Hector Spice, had sold the shop as he wanted to expand the business. He had gone to Tintagel and opened a very large baker’s shop selling Cornish pasties. It was named The Cornish Pasty. He married a girl in Cornwall named Rachel Rendezvous, whose father was French and very wealthy.
Mabble Merlin landed his shop in the empty space where Hector Spice’s bakery had been.
The Partridge in a Pear Tree was owned by Bartholomew Mead and his wife, Eleanor Mead.
Cynthia and Tobias couldn’t wait to step outside the shop and explore, but they couldn’t go out in the clothes they had on. They had to wear the clothes of Tudor times.
Mabble Merlin went into one of his storerooms and when he came out he was dressed in a green velvet outfit.
He told Cynthia and Tobias he would go to Mrs Miranda Greensleeves’ dressmaker’s shop and purchase them some brand-new costumes.
Mabble Merlin popped round to the shop next door and bought a beautiful purple dress for Cynthia and a green velvet costume for Tobias.
The Musty Old Magical Curiosity Shop Page 13