Edith Starstruck
James Cruickshank
Imogen Snowball
Alison Songbird
Guy Gold
Lucas Lyrics
Marcus Bachelor
Carolyn Velvet
Wilfred Accordion
Valery Wompra
Eddie Tambourine
Max Millions
Martin O’Leary
Hildegard Fiddle
Janey Breeze
Cedric Cold
Horace Chutney
Gina Lorenzo
Bridgette Lacey
Joshua Buddleia
Hazel Queen
Kaye Noteby
Percy Plumstone
Gerald Bolshy
Victoria English.
The tavern was now full to the brim. Twelve of the musicians sat around the table where Cynthia, Tobias and Pulsar sat. These musicians were:
Steve Trimble
Lucas Lyrics
Hugh Moon
Carolyn Velvet
Jaxon Domino
Gina Lorenzo
Paul Keys
Kaye Noteby
Sarah Quaver
Guy Gold
Gareth Bows
Janey Breeze
The musicians asked Cynthia, Tobias and Pulsar to join in with the singing as the musicians played their instruments and sang. Hugh Moon noticed that Cynthia had an unusual accent, and he asked her where she was from.
“We’re from across the water - New York, actually.”
“I’ve never heard of New York, but I haven’t actually been abroad,” said Hugh.
Pulsar was talking to Sarah Quaver, and Tobias was talking to Steve Trimble.
The words of the songs were, in some cases, very simple, and Cynthia and Tobias felt confident enough to sing along loudly in their New York accents.
“Bravo! Bravo!” piped up Jaxon Domino.
Of course Pulsar sang very well indeed.
Lucas Lyrics handed Cynthia, Tobias and Pulsar a tambourine each, to really get into the swing, and Pulsar fetched several scrolls of music from out of his satchel and handed them to Cynthia and Tobias so that they could keep up with the songs. They were glad Pulsar was there to help out. Largely thanks to him they were able to enjoy the evening at the Partridge in a Pear Tree.
Guy Gold, who played the flute, asked Pulsar where he was from. Pulsar brought out a star map to show Guy Gold, but Guy thought it was hilarious. He thought Pulsar was having a joke.
“You’re fooling about!” he said.
“Where are you staying?” asked Gina Lorenzo.
“We’re staying at the Half Moon Tavern in Orchard Court.”
“Oh, that’s strange - some of our musicians are staying there. We sometimes play at the Half Moon Tavern.”
“Excellent!” said Pulsar. “We must meet up there one night.”
“Why not?” said Gina Lorenzo.
They all had some more cider and hot bread buns, which had just been baked, and they all had a very enjoyable evening. They were glad they didn’t have far to walk back to their room above the Musty Old Magical Curiosity Shop as they were so tired.
They thought it so funny when Pulsar got out the star map to show the musicians where Cygnus Xi was; all the musicians seemed to have a great sense of humour.
Dance Lessons
Next morning when Cynthia and Tobias woke up it wasn’t long before there was a knock on the door. It was room service. They wondered if room service ever stopped for five minutes; they had to admit it was great service.
Tobias pulled on his dressing gown and answered the door. There was a new ‘spacer’ standing there.
“Hi. I’m Delta Zenith. What would you like for breakfast?”
“We’d like fresh pineapple juice, a cup of tea each and a fried breakfast - eggs, sausages, tomatoes, mushrooms and fried bread,” said Tobias.
“That’s fine. We’ll have that ready in just a few minutes.”
Delta Zenith whizzed off along the corridor, just like the others.
It wasn’t long before she was back with a large gold tray with a star map engraved on it. She brought the fresh pineapple juice, two cups of tea and a lovely-looking fried breakfast. She also had a purple vase with a bunch of lilac, freesias, pansies and chrysanthemums. It was lovely of Delta to think of such a thing.
Cynthia looked out of the little square leaded windows, and she noticed a lot of commotion outside Hampton Court, where preparations were under way for the wedding of King Henry VIII and Anne Boleyn. She decided she wanted to purchase something as a wedding present, so she used the communicator to call the Magical Mystery Tours headquarters to see if they could help.
“Hi. It’s Pulsar Nova. How can I help you, Cindy?”
“Hi, Pulsar,” said Cynthia. “Toby and I would love to purchase a wedding gift for King Henry VIII and Anne Boleyn; as it wouldn’t be right to go to the wedding without a gift. By the way, when exactly is the wedding?”
“The wedding is on the 25th of January in Hampton Court Palace - just a few days’ time. I will ask Captain Mabble Merlin if he will let you choose a wedding gift from the shop. I’m sure he will have something suitable.”
“OK, Pulsar, that’s great! Speak to you later,” said Cynthia.
Cynthia and Tobias had decided to stick with the futuristic room, with its marble floor, soft blue lights and the futuristic bed - ‘The Dreamer’. The room seemed much bigger than it did with Tudor furnishings.
Suddenly there was a knock at the door. It was room service.
Tobias answered the door and Pulsar Nova and Stellar Fusion came into the room. Stellar Fusion was going to teach them how to do Tudor dances. She was a skilled dancer. She wore a lime-green leotard, a pink tutu and lime-green dance shoes. She had her hair arranged in three little buns, she wore flowers in her hair, and she had butterfly designs painted on the side of her face. She looked very cosmic. She seemed to glide across the floor when she walked. She was very happy to show Cynthia and Tobias how Tudor dances were performed, and it wasn’t too difficult for them to learn the routines. One of the dances was a very silly dance; it was so funny that Cynthia and Tobias couldn’t stop laughing. It was called the Dance of the Pink Flamingos. You had to turn your head to one side and shuffle along on tiptoes and then turn your head to the other side and shuffle the other way on tiptoes. They couldn’t imagine King Henry doing this dance, but Stellar Fusion said it was the wedding dance.
At Mrs Greensleeves’ Shop
Pulsar decided to take Cynthia and Tobias into Mrs Greensleeves’ dressmaker’s shop. Pulsar knew that Anne Boleyn would be in the shop having her wedding dress fitted, and it was a good opportunity for them to meet her.
Pulsar took them into the dressmaker’s, which was full of lovely clothes just suitable for the wedding of a king. Anne Boleyn was already there. She spun round and Cynthia and Tobias were face-to-face with her. She was very pretty and charming. They couldn’t understand why King Henry would ever want to chop her head off. Cynthia and Tobias didn’t really know what to say to her, but Pulsar step
ped forward and introduced himself.
“Hi. I’m Pulsar,” he said. “We have got an invitation to your wedding on Saturday, and we’re really looking forward to it.”
“I’m very pleased you’re able to come,” said Anne Boleyn. “I do hope the three of you enjoy your day.”
Pulsar wanted to tell Anne Boleyn he had a plan to save her from having her head chopped off, but he just replied, “I really hope you have a lovely wedding day.”
Mabble Merlin had decided to try to save her. He had already thought of a plan to replace the real Anne Boleyn with a clone so that she could be saved.
Mabble Merlin didn’t want to spoil the wedding by telling Anne Boleyn that she wasn’t going to last very long as the wife of King Henry VIII, so he had decided to let her enjoy the wedding. After all, it was going to be a very good wedding.
The Wedding of Henry VIII and Anne Boleyn
When Cynthia and Tobias woke up on the morning of the wedding, they felt so excited. It was a fairly cold day, yet the sky was very blue and little fluffy clouds were floating by. They were sure they were going to enjoy the day.
They had decided to give King Henry and Anne Boleyn a dressing mirror each as a wedding gift; and Cynthia also wanted to give them something extra, so she purchased a gold-coloured silk quilt, handmade in China, using silk from more than 1,000 silkworms. It was very eye-catching, and there were matching gold silk sheets and a matching bolster. Bolsters are long tube-like pillows. They aren’t very comfortable and they don’t look comfortable. Cynthia would have preferred to give them goose-down-filled duvets and pillows, but, believe it or not, in 1533 square feather pillows hadn’t been invented, and neither had duvets.
However, the full-length dressing mirror might be useful: when King Henry made up his mind to behead her, Anne Boleyn might have to escape through the mirror.
Cynthia and Tobias got dressed for the wedding. They wore the outfits Mabble Merlin had bought from Mrs Greensleeves. They looked perfect.
There was a knock on the door; Pulsar and Stellar Fusion had arrived. Pulsar was wearing a midnight-blue velvet outfit with a very large velvet hat and a feather. Stellar wore a purple dress with a silver floral pattern.
They all felt very Tudor, but Tobias also had his satchel with his camera inside. Come what may, he was determined to take some photographs. He thought that once the wedding started, and everyone had had a few drinks, nobody would notice him taking a few photographs. King Henry was sure to keep the punch flowing and Bartholomew and Eleanor Mead would be there with barrels of cider from their apple orchard. Pulsar Nova and Stellar Fusion were intending to take photographs of the wedding with their wristwatch communicators, which took perfect digital photographs.
They didn’t have far to walk to Hampton Court. It was so amazing to see it in Tudor times, not long after it had been built. King Henry looked amazing with his copper-coloured hair and sparkly blue eyes. He was very boisterous and laughed all the time, and he patted his guests on the back with his hard shovel-like hands. If he hadn’t been a king, he should have been a builder, or an architect.
Cynthia and Tobias got the giggles. When King Henry was laughing they were laughing. They felt a bit nervous about being there, but Pulsar and Stellar were as cool as cucumbers or cooler. They didn’t seem nervous at all.
At the wedding service there was a hushed silence. Everyone seemed to take it very seriously. King Henry looked fabulous in his wedding suit, with a rich red-and-gold tapestry design and a huge hat with a feather in it. Anne Boleyn had a beautiful golden wedding dress, with lots of layers of silk and lace, and a gold lace wedding veil, and she had her dark hair piled up high on her head.
‘It could be a New York celebrity wedding,’ thought Cynthia. She was glad she didn’t laugh or cough or get the giggles.
When the service was over, there was a banquet on the longest tables you ever saw. The guests were so busy looking at King Henry and Anne Boleyn that they didn’t drink or eat very much, but King Henry had a very good appetite. He ate with gusto, as though he was famished. He tucked in to huge chicken legs - in fact, he had about ten of them piled on a pewter plate in front of him. Anne Boleyn also had a lot to eat, but she ate more delicately, wiping her mouth with a napkin and sipping wine between mouthfuls.
Cynthia was staring over at the King maybe a little too much, and before long he noticed her and gave her a little smile; but then he went straight back to a very large chicken leg - or possibly it was a turkey leg. Cynthia couldn’t be sure as she was a long way across the room.
Then it was time for a speech from King Henry. He stood up and spoke in a very loud, commanding voice. He said he was glad everyone had come and he remarked on how lovely the food and wine was. He particularly mentioned Bartholomew Mead for the excellent cider and Mrs Greensleeves for making the wedding outfits. He also thanked his musicians for the music during the wedding ceremony, and he named every one of them. He seemed to have an excellent memory for names. The baker who had moved to Tintagel had come back to London especially to make the pies and the cakes, including the very large wedding cake (which was in the shape of Hampton Court, with figures of King Henry and Anne Boleyn holding hands on top of it).
The King went on to say how beautiful Anne Boleyn looked, and he said there was no one in the world like her. “Her pretty head is just perfect,” he said. “She has beauty, wit and poise, and she could charm the birds out of the trees.” Then he said he’d written a song for her called ‘Lady Golden Sleeves’.
With that, the musicians began to play and the choir began to sing:
LADY GOLDEN SLEEVES
Lady Golden Sleeves is my joy,
My only joy, one true joy,
There’s no one in the world
That brings me so much joy.
My one and only joy,
With her long dark hair,
Her misty eyes,
Her ruby lips like crimson skies!
I will devote my love to her
As she’s my only one true joy,
My only joy,
My one and only joy.
She’s my happiness,
My sweet caress.
She melted my heart
One summer’s day,
And all I could say
Was “You are my joy,
My one and only joy,
My one true joy.
My only joy, my only joy.”
And she’s my Lady Golden Sleeves,
Sweeter than a summer’s breeze –
She gives me so much joy!
King Henry VIII had written the words himself and he had written the music with the help of his twelve foremost musicians.
After this serenade the dancing began, while all forty musicians played their music.
Cynthia and Tobias thought it was an excellent wedding. They each had a little tear in their eye to think that before long the King would want to behead his new bride, so they were pleased that Mabble Merlin had a plan to save her from getting her head chopped off. Nevertheless, whatever the future might hold, their wedding day was just a lovely, joyful occasion - exactly how King Henry had described it.
Cynthia and Tobias wondered what on earth would go wrong to make him want to do such a ghastly thing to Anne Boleyn. She was so sweet. It didn’t seem possible that she could make him so mad. She did, though, have one hobby he didn’t like very much, and that was that she liked to write a lot. She would even write in the very middle of the night, and King Henry didn’t think this was very appropriate now that they were married. It was not surprising if now and then he put his foot down and shouted, “That’s enough, Anne Boleyn! Please put that feather pen down.”
In 1533 there were only feather pens, and sometimes the ink got spilt and it would ruin clothes if it got on them. Writing with a feath
er pen (a quill, as it was named) wasn’t very easy, but Anne Boleyn’s writing was very elegant. She was writing a book about religion, and she intended to continue working on it after she was married. Before the wedding King Henry didn’t realise it would become a problem. He was full of joy, and had eyes only for his new queen, Anne Boleyn.
The wedding was in full swing and everyone was in high spirits. They ate more food, drank more punch, drank more wine, drank more cider and drank more ale, and most of them were getting very merry.
Cynthia and Tobias and Pulsar and Stellar got up to do the dances they had all learnt to do so perfectly, and they danced around the room changing partners and thoroughly enjoying themselves. The ladies seem to love Pulsar, and the gentlemen loved Stellar. They danced and danced until they forgot where they were. Everyone was most charming.
Suddenly the music and dancing stopped and King Henry summoned them to his table. He had noticed that they danced excellently, and he had noticed Pulsar getting all the attention from the ladies and Stellar getting all the attention from the gentlemen, and Cynthia had been staring at him whilst he was eating, so he was a bit curious to know who they were. He had assumed they were from across the water, like his first wife, who was Spanish.
His first wife was Catherine of Aragon, and he married her on 11 June 1509 in Greyfriars Church. Catherine was a Spanish princess. Henry divorced her because he wanted a son. She had been married to his brother Arthur, but Arthur had died.
“Where are you both from? I can tell your accent is different,” he asked Cynthia and Tobias.
“We are from across the water,” said Cynthia.
“New York, actually, King Henry,” said Tobias.
“And what are your names?”
They all introduced themselves, and then King Henry said, “Pulsar? That’s a very unusual name! And Stellar Fusion? That’s a very interesting name! Where are you both from?”
The Musty Old Magical Curiosity Shop Page 15