by Del Howison
Darkness does not impede a vampire; they are nocturnal creatures, and the changes that they underwent when they turned help them, physiologically, to adjust to visual changes in an environment. Unlike diurnal humans, vampires’ eyes possess tapetum lucidum, which contributes to their enhanced night vision. A vampire’s vision in complete darkness is so acute that it is akin to a human’s vision at twilight, and they have almost perfect clarity of vision from up to 1500 feet away from an object. As with all of their heightened senses, this enhanced vision provides vampires with crucial assistance in their required predation. This also enhances sensual experiences for a vampire almost one hundred fold over what the average human feels during lovemaking. How can a human experience a similar ecstasy?
In complete darkness, a vampire can still see quite well, but a human is effectively rendered blind. For both humans and vampires, the denial of vital input through one method of sensory perception (sight, hearing, touch, smell, or taste) augments the others significantly. In the darkness of the bedroom, our other senses are enhanced: Our tactile sense is extraordinarily sensitive, every scent is amplified, and every moan is more pronounced. In complete darkness, we have the opportunity to surrender completely to the experience in a similar fashion to our vampire mates. You do not know what is coming, whether it is an ice cube lightly running across your nipples, warm candle wax slowly running from your soft belly, or the slap of a hand across your buttocks. The unknown is dangerous and compelling, frightening and erotic in equal parts. Vampires themselves are equal parts danger and eroticism, and sex in the dark simply enhances their mystery while increasing the potential for your physical pleasure.
Reach for new heights by experiencing sensual pleasure in complete darkness in order to heighten your other senses. Conversely, you can still experience a simpler, more conventional pleasure by leaving the lights on. Visual stimulation is extremely erotic, whether it is a glimpse of bare skin or the glamour and complexity of an elaborate role-play costume. The sight of a whip or crop can give some individuals a surge of enormous pleasure, even if these tools are never actually incorporated into foreplay. Human and vampire bodies are both inherently beautiful and erotic, and this is not limited to body parts that are traditionally sexualized. The inside of the elbow, the curve of a hip, and the small of the back all cry out with graceful passion. Spots like the nape of the neck and the back of the knee can do more to make some people’s blood boil than a million strokes of bumpin’ uglies. You simply lose the joy of visual pleasure when the lights are out.
The only thing is that whichever you choose, light or dark, agree on it together. Then before you become too comfortable with your arrangement switch it up. Keeping him off-balance about who and what you are is that magic spark. The bedroom is a great place to play your trump cards.
Is There Romance in Entering though a Window?
Romance is dead. It was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney, homogenized, and sold off piece by piece.
—Lisa Simpson, The Simpsons
Role-playing may become one of the most amusing and delightful aspects of your relationship. Do not count it out. His wealth of knowledge acquired over his centuries of existence can help you become just about anyone you might choose to be or any in era you want to portray in your relationship games. For some, yes: The vampire trope of a seductive, supernatural creature entering stealthily by window to take his human victim can be an enticing role-playing scenario. As far as Lady Justice is concerned, however, breaking and entering is a criminal act tantamount to common law burglary in most jurisdictions, and a vampire taking blood after entering a building without permission would be assault. This and other power-exchange and role-play scenarios are certainly acceptable as a forms of consensual sex play, but only if it is consensual.
If this sort of thing is unwelcome to you, you are well within your rights to say no. You, as a human, have every right to express to your vampire what is and is not acceptable to you, sexual and otherwise. You have the right to say no, and you have the right to decide how far you are willing to go. Your body is yours and yours alone. You cannot control another persons actions, and you cannot expect a vampire—or anyone else—to change for you. However, you can set boundaries and limitations, and they must be respected.
Is Feeding Cheating?
Sharing food with another human being is an intimate act that should not be indulged in lightly.
—M. F. K. Fisher
Eating is a survival mechanism. It is instinctual and overpowering. To expect your vampire not to feed on humans is simply to hide from the facts. He is going to get hungry and he is going to feed. How you react to it and where and when he does it may determine the outcome of your relationship. Does he feed it in your presence? Does he use you as a midnight snack? These are all very important questions that you need to look at.
Vampires are sanguivorous (bloodsucking), period. For a vampire, blood meals are a biological necessity and are the only method by which they can receive sustenance. Phlebotomy (incision into a vein) is performed to open the “vase” for extraction, and then blood is imbibed from the wound. Though the vampire can drink blood that is not fresh from the source, warm blood pumping straight from the heart provides the greatest source of nutrients. Vampires can extract life-sustaining nutrition from any creature that maintains thermal homeostasis (temperature control within the body), but can also extract blood from poikilotherms (cold-blooded creatures) in a pinch, though these possess as much nutritional equivalent to vampires as Twinkies do to humans, but without the junk food joy that accompanies them. The hard fact is that drinking blood directly from a living human provides optimum nutrition and is also a pleasurable experience. The pleasure centers activated in a vampire’s brain when feeding on humans help to offset the negative and potentially emotionally and psychologically damaging effects of being unable to withstand sunlight to any great degree.
How could feeding possibly be construed as cheating? Well, we believe it should not be, but vampires derive a distinct euphoria from ingesting human blood that they do not receive from the blood of other creatures. This pleasure is not specifically sexual in nature, but the it is there, and for some vampires, the pleasure of feeding rivals the pleasure of intercourse. In general, your vampire will not feed in front of you, and certainly will not in the early stages of your relationship. If he does come to the point when he feels comfortable feeding in front of you—or even on you—it will have much deeper ramifications than you can even imagine.
Insisting that your mate modify his or her feeding habits in order to make you more comfortable is a bit much to ask. Some vampires, particularly the melancholy Misericordia, may be amenable to being strong-armed into feeding solely on domesticated herd animals, for example. Most vampires, however, will not look kindly on such an ultimatum. Bear in mind that this is the nature of your mate, and that influencing his or her diet is detrimental to the vampire’s health and psychological well-being. If this is something you cannot accept without jealousy or judgment, you need to go back to dating humans.
There is an intimacy in the act of feeding that is difficult for some humans to accept, and it is hard to find a direct comparison within human culture. Among humans, food itself has also transcended mere fuel for the body. The consumption of food and the rituals surrounding the human dinner table have taken on widely varying cultural and spiritual meanings, from religious taboos to elaborate systems of social etiquette that have evolved through the ages. Breaking bread among humans has always been a type of informal bonding, and is an archetypical symbol of hospitality and trust. With all these things in mind, and a basic understanding of vampire history and sociology, it is not difficult to understand the significance that the feeding process may have taken on in vampire culture. Feeding, for humans and vampires alike, is an intimate act designed to be enjoyed alone or with someone special.
The vast majority of vampires are quite capable of not becoming emotionally attached to
their prey any more than a human would be emotionally attached to a sandwich. However, the intimacy of feeding can easily be brought into the bedroom and made an exciting, enriching part of your sexual experience. As we discussed previously, the anticoagulant in the saliva of vampires stimulates the release of extremely pleasurable hormones in the human brain.
Feeding together can definitely strengthen the bond between you and your vampire. But if he is feeding from you, it can be a signal that he is starting to think of you less as an individual and more as a survival mechanism. Pay close attention to this particular area. Your eye for detail could end up saving your relationship, if not your life!
When Your Vamp Sucks: Breakups without Stakes
We shall find no fiend in hell can match the fury of a disappointed woman,—scorned, slighted, dismissed without a parting pang.
—Colley Cibber, Love’s Last Shift
Not all romances can withstand the test of time, and you may find that your relationship with your vampire has to come to an end. Some drifting in a relationship may occur due to simple personality disparities, or perhaps your worldviews are too far apart from one another. Sometimes, it is time to break up.
Occasionally, the flaws in a relationship are due to personality conflicts, and every so often two people just find themselves incompatible or growing apart. Sometimes a specific action by one party destroys trust, effectively ending any hope of reconciliation. This applies to all relationships, human-human and vampire-human, alike. Lifestyle incompatibility itself can be more pronounced when dating occurs between Homo sapiens and Homo striga. We all may be part human, and the similarities are there, but the lifestyles, history, and needs of humans and vampires are vastly different from one another. Sometimes, those differences are irreconcilable. You cannot go into a relationship expecting the other person to change to meet your expectations. If you come to realize that the challenges of the relationship are more than you bargained for, accept that dating a vampire might not be for you. For all its joys and mysteries, a romance with a vampire is complicated and is certainly not for everyone.
We all know and understand that breaking up can be extremely painful. Emotional scars create baggage that we all carry around with us. No one escapes unscathed. But sometimes it is worse than others. Stories populate the news about scorned lovers going ballistic and stalking their partners to some parking lot where they blow them away because they are angry.
Some couples feel a sense of entitlement in relationships, and when that is broken or dissolved, one of the partners might feel something emotionally juvenile like “If I can’t have you, nobody can.” Transfer that sense of loss to someone who has been through this countless times over centuries. Multiply that feeling into rage, and you might see what we are trying to address here. A vengeful vampire with baggage can make your life an undead hell.
Some would suggest that you break up with a vampire in a well-populated public place. The concern would be your personal safety, as vampires do have a well-earned reputation for violence. However, any vampire that is civil and refined enough to have been your partner is not likely the type that would resort to such ugly, vicious measures out of hurt or revenge. Sometimes the situation cannot be well contained, and it can be a humiliating experience for both of you. Sticking to a neutral location that offers you both some semblance of privacy, like a park, can also be the correct approach.
There may not be any emotional loss on the part of the vampire, rather only a loss of pleasure. If he thinks of you as food, it’s like if someone steals your sandwich: You won’t necessarily feel an emotional loss, but you might feel sad about losing the joy the sandwich would bring. But if you have managed to get him emotionally engaged in the relationship, how do you close the door and move on without looking over your shoulder all the time, fearing that you may be stalked?
If he breaks it off and has had any genuine feelings for you all along, we suggest you walk away and do not fight it. If you end the relationship, your
breakup should be gentle and kind, and you should be cognizant of your companions feelings throughout the process—after all, you once loved this person, and he, and the love you both felt, deserves respect.
Do not go for the hackneyed breakup clichés, no matter how tempting. “It’s not you, it’s me” is cheap, and people tend to say it because they think that, somehow, shouldering all the blame is going to soften the blow. It wont, and it will do both of you a disservice, as will “I just want to be friends.” Just about everyone can see through that, especially someone like a vampire with a few thousand relationships under their belt. The fact of the matter is that if you are breaking up with someone, you do not want to be with them. If you are ending the relationship, allow your vampire the space he or she deserves by doing it cleanly. Eventually, you may find yourselves friends, but going with that tactic right off the bat is disingenuous, and your vampire will certainly see right through it.
Do not be a coward. Do not break up through avoidance. Yes, your vampire will get the hint if you simply stop answering phone calls, texts, e-mails, and your apartment door, but it is undignified and disrespectful. Breaking up any way but face-to-face is hurtful, callous, and spineless. Do not give in to too much liquid courage, and make sure to be sober when you break the news. You will not be able to express yourself while drunk, and it is a very bad idea to add alcohol to what may already be an emotionally charged situation.
The most childish, and in this case potentially lethal, way to break up is through provocation. Do not pick a fight with the intention of using the disagreement itself as a catalyst.
You should treat the breakup as a no-fault divorce; do not place blame on yourself or your mate, and stick to facts: “This isn’t working out, it’s no ones fault, and we need to make a change.” Keep it simple, state your true reasons for wanting to dissolve the relationship with clarity, conviction, and compassion, and do not leave any room for misinterpretation.
Breakups are always bad, no matter what you do. Just endeavor to make it clean and honest. In your heart, forgive your mate and forgive yourself, and you will both be able to look at the relationship positively in hindsight, whatever its pitfalls may have been.
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Great Vampire-Human Romance in History
I Awake Full of You: Napoleon and Joséphine
Joséphine de Beauharnais was born Marie Josèphe Rose Tascher de la Pagerie in 1763. She became infected with the vampiric pathogen while incarcerated in the Carmes prison during the Reign of Terror. A Tombeur, Marquise, was Joséphine’s Master; the vampire was so charmed by her grace, wit, and bearing that she chose to turn her rather than leave her dead in her cell. Thinking herself doomed to death by guillotine, the fate her husband had met, Joséphine gladly accepted the transformation. Her Maker, quickly bored, left Joséphine to her own devices, and upon her release, Joséphine reentered society and became the lover of many high-ranking political figures.
Her powers of seduction were well-known throughout France, and she held a reputation of an almost supernatural grace and beauty. Inherently kind-hearted, she did not follow her Maker’s footsteps as a bloodthirsty predator, but made every effort to become a Transeo, blending seamlessly into the population while using her natural beauty and her vampiric charms to secure her safety and place in society.
In 1795, Joséphine met Napoleon Bonaparte, a major general in the French army. In a whirlwind, they fell madly in love. They were married a year later and crowned Emperor and Empress of France. In a moment of passion, Joséphine confessed her vampiric secret to her lover, and rather than react with horror or revulsion, Napoleon, ever a practical man, was delighted. The plan of vampire recruitment that he would later employ in his campaigns took root at that moment, and Joséphine was employed as an ambassador to her kind when Napoleon left to command the French army near Milan.
Their romance was feverish in its intensity, and for a time they were both ruthlessly devoted to one another. The comfort i
n Joséphine found in their love made her indiscreet in her feeding habits. Around the time of Napoleons first Italian campaign, scandalous rumors began fluttering around Joséphine, with people whispering that she had taken lovers while he was away. Knowing the truth of her nature, Napoleon was at first unmoved by the gossip. However, upon his return to her apartment in Milan, he found it empty. He knew full well that she was conferring with a vampire army recruit, Hippolyte Charles, in Genoa, but her absence that week was poison to Napoleons fickle heart, and he accused her of disloyalty.
The ardor that Napoleon felt for Joséphine eventually waned, leaving him vulnerable to the ever-growing tales of her infidelity. In retaliation, Napoleon took Pauline Bellisle Foures, the wife of a junior officer, as his mistress. Despondent, buffeted among love, jealousy, and a desire for retribution for imagined insults, Napoleon wrote to his brother,
“The veil is torn … It is sad when one and the same heart is torn by such conflicting feelings for one person … I need to be alone. I am tired of grandeur; all my feelings have dried up. I no longer care about my glory. At twenty-nine I have exhausted everything.”
The letter never reached Napoleon’s brother. It was intercepted by the British and was
immediately published in the London papers. Humiliated, Josephine fled to her country house, the Château de Malmaison, and began a gradual retreat from human society and sought comfort in her vampire brethren in France.
Within a few years, Napoleon began to publicly flaunt his human mistress, a scandal which culminated in a bitter divorce from Joséphine. From this point on, sickened by the duplicity and tenuous nature of human love, Joséphine rejected her place as a Transeo and embraced the ruthlessness the Tombeur life. In 1814, she staged her own death and relocated to with her progeny to Martinique, where over the next two hundred years she reigned as the Scourge of the Caribbean.