by Chris Colfer
There’s no one in the land fairer than you.”
At last her stepdaughter was dead. The Evil Queen threw herself a celebration that lasted until the wee hours of the morning.
The dwarfs found Snow White on the floor with the poisoned apple still in her hand. They tried to revive her using every remedy they knew, but the princess never woke up. As far as anyone could tell, Snow White was truly dead.
The following weeks were the saddest of the seven dwarfs’ lives. They couldn’t bring themselves to bury the beautiful princess, so the dwarfs made a coffin of jewels and glass from their mines and placed it on a hill beside their cottage. They took turns guarding the coffin day and night.
Snow White was in the coffin for a long time, but her beauty never faded. Her skin stayed pale as snow, her lips red as blood, and her hair black as ebony. She appeared to just be sleeping by all who saw her.
One day, a handsome young prince from a neighboring kingdom was passing through the forest. His traveling party decided to stop for a rest when he came upon the coffin on the hill. The prince fell in love with the princess at first sight, for he had never seen someone so beautiful in his whole life.
“Who is this maiden?” the prince asked the dwarfs.
The dwarfs told the prince all about Snow White—that she was the daughter of a king, and how she had been poisoned by her jealous stepmother.
“Please may I have this coffin?” the prince said. “We’ll take very good care of her at my palace. Now that I’ve seen her beauty, I never want to be without it.”
The dwarfs took pity on the young prince and let him take the coffin back to his kingdom. As his traveling party continued back home, however, the wagon carrying Snow White’s coffin hit a large tree root growing in the path. The motion caused a small piece of poisoned apple to come out of Snow White’s mouth, and the princess awoke. The apple had not killed the princess after all, but had been lodged in her throat, causing her to fall into a deep sleep.
“Where am I?” Snow White asked.
The prince was amazed to see she was alive. He told her how he had found her in the woods and the dwarfs had let him take her so that he never had to live without her again. It was love at first sight for Snow White too, and she agreed to marry the prince.
With the help of the prince’s army, Snow White returned to her castle and reclaimed her father’s throne from her cruel stepmother. The Evil Queen was locked away in the dungeon without a mirror of any kind, forced to grow old without the comfort of a reflection.
The dwarfs were knighted and invited to live in the castle. Snow White became the queen of her family’s kingdom, she and the prince were married, and they lived happily ever after.
The End
THE THREE LITTLE PIGS
ADAPTED FROM THE TRADITIONAL STORY
Once upon a time, there were three little pigs. Since they were no longer piglets, their mother decided it was time for them to leave the pigpen and make homes of their own. So she packed her three sons a sack of food and sent them on their way.
It may have seemed like a cruel thing for a mother to do, but the pigpen was so crowded, the three brothers were happy to leave.
The first Little Pig built his home out of straw. He thought it was a wise decision since straw was so easy to carry and assemble. It took the first Little Pig only a day to finish the straw home. It was a very flimsy house, but the Little Pig was proud of himself for completing his home so quickly.
The second Little Pig built his home out of sticks. The sticks weren’t as easy to carry and assemble as straw, but they were a lot stronger. The stick house was much sturdier than his brother’s straw house and it took him only a week to build it, so the second Little Pig thought he had made a smart choice.
The third Little Pig built his home out of bricks. They were so heavy that he could only carry two at a time in his hooves, but the third Little Pig knew that bricks would make a much sturdier home than sticks and straw.
Every day on his way to the brick maker, the third Little Pig walked past his brothers’ houses. They teased him mercilessly for taking on such a chore.
“You’ll never finish your home!” the second Little Pig said.
“Your arms are going to fall off from carrying those bricks back and forth!” the first Little Pig said.
Despite his brothers’ mean remarks, the third Little Pig knew he was doing the right thing.
“You may be laughing now, but this land is full of dangerous creatures your houses won’t protect you from,” the third Little Pig said.
After a tiring month, the house of bricks was finally finished.
Just as the third Little Pig had predicted, a Big Bad Wolf soon entered the land searching for his next meal. He came upon the three Little Pigs’ houses and thought they would be easy catches. So he went to the house of straw first and knocked on the door.
“Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in,” the wolf called to the pig inside.
“Not by the hair on my chinny chin chin,” the first Little Pig replied.
“Then I’ll huff, and I’ll puff, and I’ll blow your house down!” the wolf growled.
He took a deep breath and blew the straw house away. The wolf barged inside and gobbled up the first Little Pig.
When the wolf was hungry again, he went next door to the house made of sticks and knocked on the door.
“Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in,” the wolf said.
“Not by the hair on my chinny chin chin,” the second Little Pig replied.
“Then I’ll huff, and I’ll puff, and I’ll blow your house down!” the wolf growled.
Just like before, the wolf took a deep breath and blew the stick house to the ground. He pounced on the second Little Pig and gobbled him up.
The wolf regained his appetite soon after and went to the house made of bricks.
“Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in,” the wolf said.
“Not by the hair on my chinny chin chin,” the third Little Pig replied.
“Then I’ll huff, and I’ll puff, and I’ll blow your house down!” the wolf said.
“I’d like to see you try,” the third Little Pig said with a laugh.
The wolf didn’t like to be mocked by his food, so this angered him very much. He took a deep breath and blew at the house. However, unlike the houses of straw and stick, the brick house stayed in one piece.
The wolf took an even deeper breath and blew at the house more strongly than before. Still, the brick house remained intact. The wolf tried again, taking the deepest breath he could and blowing it out with all his might.
Sadly for the wolf, the brick house stayed standing. He was so out of breath, the wolf fell to his knees and coughed and wheezed.
“I’ll get inside your house and eat you, Little Pig, even if it’s the last thing I do!” the wolf growled.
“Oh no!” the third Little Pig said. “Whatever you do, don’t come through the back door!”
The wolf thought the pig was foolish for giving him such a good idea. He marched to the back of the brick house and pulled the door open. However, it wasn’t an entrance to the house, but a room where the third Little Pig kept his firewood. The logs came tumbling out and piled on top of the wolf.
The third Little Pig laughed hysterically as he watched the wolf from inside. The wolf climbed out from under the pile of firewood and angrily got to his feet.
“Laugh all you want, little pig,” he said. “I’ll find a way inside that house and eat you just like I ate your brothers!”
“Oh no!” the third Little Pig said. “Whatever you do, don’t dig a hole under the house!”
The wolf knew what the pig was doing, and he wasn’t going to be fooled by it this time. He wouldn’t go under the house as the pig had suggested—he was going to go over the house and crawl down the chimney!
The wolf fetched a ladder and climbed up to the roof of the brick house and then quickly slid down the chimney before the pig could hear hi
m coming.
“Ready or not, here I come!” the wolf growled.
However, the third Little Pig had outsmarted the wolf again. Waiting for him at the bottom of the chimney was a large pot of boiling water. The wolf fell straight into the pot and died.
The third Little Pig added carrots and celery to the pot and cooked himself a nice wolf stew. Thanks to his wise decisions, the third Little Pig lived a long and happy life in the brick house, and remained safe from all the other wolves that came his way.
The End
RUMPELSTILTSKIN
ADAPTED FROM THE BROTHERS GRIMM
Once upon a time, there was a young maiden who was the most talented spinner in her village. She lived at home with her father, who worked as a miller. The miller was so proud of his daughter, she was all he ever talked about. In fact, some of the villagers grew tired of him bragging about her.
One night, while he was getting drinks with friends at a tavern, he went on and on about how gifted his daughter was. He had been served too much and was making outlandish claims that he wouldn’t have made if sober.
“My daughter is such a brilliant spinner, she could spin hay into gold!” he said.
The other men in the tavern laughed and raised their drinks to the miller and his daughter. Despite his constant boasting, it was charming to see such a supportive father.
He never expected that singing his daughter’s praises would put her in harm’s way. Unfortunately, one of the king’s soldiers happened to also be drinking in the tavern that night. Neither the king nor the soldier had any sense of humor whatsoever. When he heard about the maiden who could spin hay into gold, the soldier took it quite seriously. And since the kingdom was experiencing its worst financial troubles since the Dark Ages, he thought the maiden was the answer they had been looking for.
The soldier raced back to the castle and awoke the king to tell him the fortunate news.
“Your Majesty, something wonderful has happened,” the soldier said. “There is a young maiden in the village who has been blessed with the power to spin hay into gold!”
“She must be a witch!” the king exclaimed. “We must arrest this woman at once and burn her at the stake!”
“Actually, Your Highness,” the soldier said, “I thought a young woman like her would be most useful to the kingdom in a time like this. If she spun enough hay into gold, we would become the wealthiest nation in the world!”
“You’re absolutely right,” the king said. “I order you to find this maiden and bring her to the castle at once! We will put her to work straightaway!”
The soldier organized a squad and charged into the village. They knocked down the miller’s door and seized the maiden. The soldiers carried her off to the castle. She was locked in a tower with nothing inside it but a spinning wheel and a stack of hay.
The maiden couldn’t have been more frightened and confused. The king entered the tower, and she bowed to him.
“I beg your pardon, Your Majesty,” the maiden said. “But what is the meaning of this?”
“Word of your abilities has reached the castle,” the king told her. “While we should punish you for keeping such a gift from our attention, we have brought you here to redeem yourself.”
“Excuse me, sir,” she said. “What abilities are you referring to?”
“You have been blessed with the power of spinning hay into gold,” the king said. “And now you shall do it for me.”
“Your Majesty, I believe there’s been some kind of mistake,” the maiden said. “I am a very gifted spinner, but I most certainly cannot spin hay into—”
“Do not lie to me! We heard it from your father’s lips,” the king said. “You will spin the hay in this tower into gold by sunrise tomorrow morning, or your head shall be chopped off.”
The king promptly turned on his heel and left. The maiden was locked in the tower alone. She fell on the floor and sobbed hysterically. It was as if she were living a nightmare. There was no way she could accomplish what the king had ordered. For all she knew, such a thing was impossible.
Just when she thought she’d most certainly lose her head, a small whirlwind spun around the tower, and a dwarf magically appeared.
“Hello, fair maiden,” the dwarf said. “It seems you’ve found yourself in quite a predicament.”
“Who are you?” she asked.
“The question isn’t who but what,” the dwarf said.
“Then what are you?”
“I may be your salvation,” he said. “The king expects you to spin all the hay in this tower into gold by morning, is that correct?”
“Yes, but he is mistaken,” the maiden said. “I’ve never been capable of such a thing. He must have misunderstood what my father said. Tomorrow morning when the king finds this tower still full of hay, I will lose my head for it.”
The dwarf excitedly rubbed his hands together.
“Luckily for you, spinning hay into gold is one of my specialties. I’d be willing to help you if you’d like.”
“Yes, of course!” the maiden said. “I would be so grateful!”
“I don’t do anything for free,” the dwarf said. “I will only spin the hay into gold if we can make a trade.”
The maiden didn’t have much to offer, but she was willing to trade anything if it would save her life. The dwarf looked her up and down and then side to side.
“I’ll do it in exchange for your ring,” he said.
“But the ring was my mother’s,” the maiden said. “I could never part with it.”
“It’s the ring or your head,” he said. “What do you choose?”
It was an easy choice. The maiden quickly took the ring off her finger and handed it over to the dwarf. The dwarf kicked his feet up and down in a happy little jig. Nothing made him happier than a trade. He sat at the spinning wheel and went to work.
The maiden watched in amazement as the dwarf did the impossible. In just a few hours, the entire haystack had been transformed into a glimmering pile of gold.
“Thank you so much!” the maiden said. “I didn’t get your name.”
Instead of answering, the dwarf snapped his fingers and disappeared from the tower. Shortly after sunrise, the king stormed in to check on the maiden’s progress. He looked around the tower in awe. Although he had given the order, even he was impressed to see it happen.
“I spun the hay into gold, just as you wished,” the maiden said. “May I please go home?”
The king didn’t answer. His soldiers took hold of the maiden and escorted her to a large chamber in the castle. It was four times the size of the tower and contained nothing but a spinning wheel and numerous stacks of hay.
“Now you will spin this hay into gold by sunrise tomorrow, or your head will be cut off,” the king said.
With his new orders given, he and his soldiers left the chamber and locked the poor maiden inside. The maiden was beside herself with sorrow. How was she going to spin all the hay into gold? It would be a challenge even if she were capable of such an act.
Luckily, another whirlwind spun around the chamber and the magic dwarf appeared once more.
“At it again, I see,” he said with a wink.
“Will you help me spin this hay into gold again?” the maiden begged. “If not, I will surely lose my head tomorrow at sunrise.”
“But I never do anything for free, especially if I’ve done it before,” the dwarf said. “I’d be happy to help if we could come to an arrangement.”
Once again, the dwarf looked the maiden up and down and then side to side.
“I’ll do it for your necklace,” he said.
“But this necklace belonged to my grandmother,” she said. “I could never give it up.”
“It’ll be hard wearing a necklace without a head,” the dwarf pointed out.
“Fair enough,” the maiden said.
She handed over her grandmother’s necklace, and the dwarf went to work spinning the hay into gold. By the time the sun rose
the following day, the chamber was filled with glittering stacks of gold.
“Thank you!” the maiden said. “But wait—I still didn’t get your name.”
Instead of answering, the dwarf wiggled his ears and disappeared. Just after sunrise, the king and his soldiers barged into the chamber and were very pleased with what they saw.
“I’ve spun the hay into gold, just as you asked,” the maiden said. “Now will you please let me go home?”
The king did not answer. The soldiers took the maiden by the arms and led her down a dark staircase into the castle dungeon. The dungeon was filled from floor to ceiling with mounds of hay.
“If you spin this hay into gold by sunrise tomorrow, the kingdom shall be the richest country in the world, and I shall make you my queen,” the king said. “If not, you shall lose your head.”
The king and his soldiers left the dungeon and locked the maiden inside. She was overwhelmed with fear. The task seemed impossible. Even if the dwarf appeared again, he most certainly wouldn’t be able to spin all the hay in the dungeon into gold by sunrise.
Another whirlwind spun around her, and the dwarf appeared in the dungeon.
“We have to stop meeting like this,” he said.
“I’m starting to think the king just wants me dead,” the maiden said. “There isn’t enough time to spin all the hay into gold, even for you!”
“Ah, but the greater the trade, the faster I work,” he said.
“But I have nothing left to give you,” the maiden said.
“For now,” the dwarf said with a twinkle in his eye. “But if you give me your firstborn child, I will spin all this hay into gold by sunrise.”
It was the most obscene idea the maiden had ever heard. If she had a child one day, she could never give it to the dwarf.
“What a cruel thing to suggest!” she said.
“It’s a child or the executioner’s axe,” the dwarf said. “Take it or leave it.”