Defiled

by A. M. Rivera

  He exhales thru his nose and approaches me.

  I can’t help myself and flinch backwards.

  He takes a hold of my bound wrists and pulls me to the wall near the shower and throws down a toweling robe on a high hook there and proceeds to lift my wrists to hang from the hook.

  I am able to touch the floor still but I am stretched as long as possible like this and completely helpless, I start to try and wiggle free and let out screams that I didn’t know I had in me.

  He is on me in a second. His size is so intimidating and his hand on my throat feels so large. He applies so much pressure to my throat I immediately stop screaming and start fighting for air.

  “Not another sound. Do you hear me? I will bind your feet as well and put a gag in your mouth and a bag over your head. Calm the fuck down and shut the fuck up.”

  I nod and tears are rolling down my face. I am really scared for the first time and I know this is going to end bad for me.

  He surprises me by taking my hands down and starting to untie me.”You look fucking hot tied up and crying. I like you helpless and at my mercy.”

  Still gasping and crying I know I am a mess and look crazy now. “You just said I would be unharmed and untouched.”

  He leans in close to my ear and says “I lied.”

  A sob escapes me and he grins at me. “Can you undress and take a shower or do you need my help?” He asks.

  “I can do it! Just leave the room!”

  He turns and does just that.

  Four

  I sit on the toilet and cry uncontrollably. I know I have to move fast before he returns, so I jump up, undress, and get into the shower. Good shampoo and conditioner as well as body wash are on the shelf and I break a speed record for fastest shower and shampoo ever. I turn off the water and step out. I am reaching for a towel off the stack on a nearby shelf when handsome walks in. I am trying to hurry up and hide behind the towel when he approaches me and moves my hands out of the way.

  He wraps the towel snuggly around my body and tucks the end in so it will stay up without my holding it. He has the opportunity to stare at my naked body but his eyes never leave my face. Reaching for a second towel he hands it to me nodding at my wet dripping hair.

  I bend over and wrap it turban style.

  Now he chooses to look at me head to toe slowly.

  I feel burning sensations everywhere his eyes travel. Everything has changed. No more gentlemen manners façade. He is pure animal now and I am his prey. We stand staring at each other until I have to drop my gaze. I smell his now familiar scent and start to shift my weight from foot to foot.

  He just watches me.

  Finally, I ask “Do I have to return to the room with the three amigos staring holes into me?”

  This gets a reaction. “No one is allowed to speak to you or even look at you! “

  I smirk “Well they didn’t get that memo obviously. They make me feel like a piece of meat.”

  He walks to the cabinet and pulls out a pink blow dryer.”Dry your hair. We are leaving.” He leaves me alone in the bathroom so I begin drying my hair.

  When I am almost finished, handsome returns holding some clothing in his hands. Tags are still on a pair of jeans and a white tee shirt. A pair of white sneakers with panties and bra. I am more amazed at the fact that everything is in my size than embarrassed that he is bringing me underwear. I want privacy to dress but I don’t think I will get it. He motions with his hand for me to start dressing. I turn my back to him and pull the panties up under my towel following with my jeans. Before I can snap the button on my jeans I am turned around and the towel is taken off and tossed aside. I cross my arms in front of me trying to hide myself. He takes the bra and wads it into his pocket and holds the tee shirt out to me. I have to reach out for it and am left covering my breasts with just the one arm. We are once again staring at each other not moving. Again I am forced to look down because I can no longer hold his gaze.

  Without speaking he nudges my hand that is holding the tee shirt so I know I have to put it on as quickly as I can and get this over with.

  When my arms both go up to pull the shirt over my head his gray eyes darken and he takes it all in. I put my head thru the tee and he stops me before I can pull it down and cover myself.

  “You are fucking beautiful you know. I haven’t seen a woman more perfect than you.” he says and his voice is even more raspy, his accent more strong than usual like he is affected by me.

  I feel my nipples harden painfully under his eyes and feel ashamed of myself. He lets me go so I can finish dressing and I think he is turning to leave me again when he turns back with the sneakers in his hand. He scoops me up and sits me on the counter top where he bends and proceeds putting the shoes on my feet.

  His dark head bent in front of me does things to my body that I have no control over. Do I have a sick fantasy of being kidnapped or is it just him? It is too soon for Stockholm syndrome, so what is this? Rising to his full height he lowers me to the floor and walks me out of the bathroom.

  Five

  We only stop long enough to grab my purse and head for the door. He stops with one hand on my arm and the other on the door knob. Getting close to my ear he says “Not a sound out of you, No dramatics, no running or crying for help. Behave normally like you are my girl and I am taking you home. No attracting attention. Understand me?” I nod even though I plan to take any chance I can to get away.

  He jerks me tight again as a reminder just as he opens the door.

  I look around the complex and see no one anywhere. No cars on the street even. We walk to the driveway where there is the big SUV and a sleek new black Mercedes. We head for the Mercedes and I feel hopeful because he is driving us himself and I know I will get my opportunity to break free.

  He opens the door and lets me slide into the passenger seat.

  My mind is already hatching plans as I know he has to walk around the car and get in behind the wheel.

  He leans in and does up my seatbelt and then reaches out to grab my wrist and snaps on a handcuff then attaches the other part to a bar or something under the console or my under my seat I can’t actually see which. He spends a minute and actually threads the handcuff thru a slot and I hear it click into place then he slams my door. It is obvious that the handcuff won’t budge, but I jerk it and try my best. He enters the car and slides smoothly behind the wheel grinning like he knows what I have been doing and finds it funny. He slips on his sun glasses and looks deadlier and way sexier at the same time as we back out and head for the highway. I have no idea where I am. Nothing is familiar here.

  “Where are you taking me?”

  At first I feel like he is going to ignore my question then finally he says “I am taking you home. “

  And my face lights up with joy and relief.

  Then he adds “My home not your father’s home”

  “Why? What for?” I ask.

  “Privacy. Just the two of us. No one else for me to worry about.” He explains.

  I want more answers while he seems willing.

  “Are we still in LA?” No answer.

  “What are you going to do with me?”

  He answers this one. “Believe me, you don’t want to know.”

  “What does that mean? I have the right to know what you are planning to do with me.” I am whining and hating myself for it.

  Red Light.

  He turns slowly now taking his eyes off the road and has the bad scary face on and says

  ”I am going to debase and defile you in every way possible. It wasn’t part of my plan but I can’t stop myself now. I am going to eat you alive baby and ruin you. By time the judge has the court date there won’t be anything left of you for me to send back to him.”

  I whimper at this.

  Green light and he turns his focus back to the road.

  I begin crying in earnest now and can’t stop it. He said that so cold and detached like a murderer telling his victim what he pl
anned to do.

  I am in so much trouble.

  We drive further into the hills. I am somewhat familiar with the area now and will myself to stop being hysterical and be smart. Pay attention. Find a way out. Winding thru the upscale residential area, we are in an area that the homes are becoming further and further apart when he turns off onto a long driveway.

  We stop at a security gate and he lowers his window and keys in 7175 on the keypad. The gates slide and we drive thru. I see only more driveway no house in sight yet until we round a slight curve and approach a beautiful and very secluded estate. This could only be called a mansion. Seemingly miles from any neighbors.

  I try to wipe my face with my one free hand but can’t keep up with the flood of tears. I know I am tear stained and blotchy and weak looking.

  Mr. Handsome gets out and comes to my side of the car. He reaches in and unlocks the handcuff

  from beneath my seat, but leaves the cuff on my wrist and pulls me out by that keeping hold of the handcuff.

  We enter the house and pause as he locks and re locks the door reaching over to re set the alarm. This code I don’t see.

  We head upstairs immediately and fear takes hold of me. This is it? Already? I try to slow us down but he is dragging and pulling me until he pushes me in front of him.

  Entering a bathroom, I am confused as to what he has in mind here. He gets a face cloth and runs it under hot water and wrings it out. Once again he lifts me to sit on the vanity and begins washing my face.

  A tear or two trickles out of the corner of my eyes as I feel myself losing it again. I fight to stay calm and in control.

  There is a weird sweetness in what he is doing. When he is finished he offers me a tissue for my nose and turns to drop the cloth in a hamper.

  I feel better somehow but still afraid of what is coming next.

  He removes the handcuff from my wrist and frees me.

  “Are you hungry?” He asks.

  I tell him no and he says

  “Well you will eat if you want to or not.” We head down the great staircase again and thru to a fabulous kitchen. This place is amazing. Someone has money.

  “This is this your home? “ I ask.

  “Not solely mine, it’s a family home for my use when we are on the west coast.”

  “So, was the apartment we were at before your house?”

  “No. My only home in the US is on the east coast.” He offers.

  “Oh.” I shrug.

  “That was also a place used by the family.” He says and suddenly I am confused as to if I am a hostage or a houseguest.

  “Let’s eat!”he says and starts pulling food out of a warming oven. He grabs a bottle of wine out of the fridge and a salad. There must be some kind of staff here that has prepared this for us.He sits everything on the bar instead of going thru to the dining table and motions for me to sit on one of the tall chairs there. “I’m not hungry. “ I say.

  “You will eat or I will feed you it’s up to you. You have had nothing in at least 24 hours. I won’t have you arguing with everything I tell you to do. I am not a nice man and I have no patience whatsoever. Now eat!” he says with such force I flinch and look at my plate as he spoons the food into it.

  Too intimidated to meet his eyes. I feel tears welling up again and feel like such a wimp! I lift my fork and start moving the food around on my plate but I can’t do this. If I put a bite in my mouth, it will choke me and I will be violently ill. I lay down my fork and keep my head down staring at the food. Afraid of what he will do. He has been eating and I am surprised how empty his plate is already.

  Rising slowly and very calmly he comes to stand next to me and holds my chin to lift my eyes to him.His touch is firm but surprisingly gentle. I feel an electric tingle where his hand is on me. I no longer feel threatened even though I know I should. The hand holding my chin moves into a caress on my cheek.

  He softly says “We have to get a few bites in. I can’t let you make yourself ill. Come on open for me” and lets his thumb move over my lips. His other hand loads my fork with a bite of the dinner and brings it to my mouth.

  It’s delicious and I am okay now so I say it. “I am okay. I can do this on my own now.”

  He scoops out some salad now and brings it to my mouth saying “I like doing this. Open up for me.”

  I comply and chew.

  He scoots his plate closer and continues eating what’s left of his dinner while standing. After a few more bites I can’t take anymore of this.

  He is finished now sipping wine and feeding me bites and sips like I am a toddler. “Please I am full. No more please.”

  He inhales deeply thru his nose and says “You don’t know what it does to me when you say please and beg. Finish your wine!”

  Gladly. I need the courage or numbness so I drink it down in one long gulp. He begins clearing our mess putting dishes in the dishwasher and food in the fridge. I find it odd seeing him in a domestic setting, doing mundane things. He tosses a sponge onto the bar and I take it and wipe down the area where we ate. Surreal.

  He finishes drying his hands and starts turning out the lights. Without saying a word he grabs my arm and leads back up the stairs.

  We enter a bedroom and before I can freak out totally he says, “Everything you need should be in the bathroom. I will leave you to do whatever you need to do and get into bed. I have work to do downstairs in my office, I will be up later. Don’t leave this room. You can be free here if you obey the rules. If not, you can stay bound and gagged in the basement or a closet out of the way it’s up to you.”

  He turns and leaves me alone in what I assume has to be the master bedroom with a huge en suite bathroom.

  I check it all out and decide to leave it until tomorrow to find a way out. Maybe he doesn’t want me like that after all. Maybe I don’t need to worry about that. He just likes to make outrageous comments to shock and scare me. He is a beautiful man that I am sure has plenty of beautiful women. To be honest I am feeling something like disappointment at the thought.

  I am sick. I like the perverted sick things he says to me. I thought I was frigid all this time when really I just needed a maniac to paint images in my head of unspeakable things. I proceed to take advantage of the big beautiful bathroom completely stocked with new toothbrushes and luxury high end products. Someone has taste.

  I’m scrubbed, shaved, squeaky clean, and tingly all over. Wrapped in a towel because I don’t want to put the worn clothes back on my clean fresh body. Wide awake and not ready for bed. I decide to look thru his drawers and find something to wear. I find a pair of sleep pants that are way too big and way to long but the only thing that will possibly work. I roll the legs up and roll the waistband down a few times so they won’t trip me or fall off. A huge white tee shirt that drowns me finishes my ensemble. I feel sexy wearing a man’s clothes. This man’s clothes. Sick! When I get free from all of this I am definitely going into therapy.

  Sitting back on the bed against the pillows, I need a book or something to occupy my mind and not just sit here waiting for God knows what. I wonder if he even plans to sleep here. Minutes tick by and I stare at the ceiling and walls trying to hear any sounds coming from the rest of the house. It is completely silent. I mean who doesn’t have a television in their room? His smell is everywhere around me in this room. I don’t think I can actually get into the bed, under the covers and lay my head on the pillows because the smell is wonderful and overwhelms me.

  Maybe he already went to sleep in another room. I decide to check it out. I open the door as quietly as I can and head to the stairs listening for any sounds coming from any direction. When I make it to the main floor it is mostly dark. I stare at the front entrance for a minute and I am hypnotized by the yellow blinking light letting me know the alarm is activated. I see a lone light coming from a room back to my left. As quietly as I can I walk towards that room and spot him at a desk on his cell with one hand and typing on the laptop with the other. He spots
me and ends his call. He reaches around his back and draws out a gun pointing it towards me. I gasp at the unexpected move. My first instinct is to turn away and run. His voice halts me. “Did you not understand me when I told you not to leave the room? What are you doing in here?”

  I try to think of something that makes more sense than the truth and all I can come up with is the truth. “I wondered where you were. I just…”

  He stands and places the gun back into his pants where it came from and approaches me where I am frozen to the spot. His hand going to my throat as he looks at me head to toe and grins very slightly. “What are you wearing?”

  I stammer

  “I um… I wanted something clean to wear.”

  He still seems to be amused by the way I look, and asks “No underwear or are you wearing a pair of mine also?”

  I feel my face heat as it turns red from my neck up. Looking down I plan to not answer that. His hand tightens on my neck and I meet his eyes. He applies more pressure and fear takes over every other thought. He leans down to press his mouth onto mine and I try to turn away but am frozen in place by additional pressure on my throat. His kiss is hard and cold like he is trying to punish not seduce. The way he smells, the way his stubble is scratching me, and his punishing lips are all working together to overwhelm my senses. I should fight harder and try to flee but I am growing pliant and pressing into him more. When he pulls back I am breathless and my hand goes to my neck then my fingers go to touch my bruised lips. He scoops me up and throws me over his shoulder like I am weightless and boneless. I am literally hanging upside down his back as he returns to the desk and grabs his discarded cell phone Turning out the lights and closing the door as he heads back upstairs to the room. “Please put me down! Let me go! I don’t want this! Please!” I cry as I struggle.

  Six

  He tosses me onto the center of the bed. Before I know it he has pulled another pair of handcuffs out of the bedside table and this time he clamps both of my wrists. “My turn to shower. We will cuff you so you don’t try to take off.” He pulls out a short length of chain with rings not unlike my handcuffs and hooks it to the center of my cuffs and jerking me up by this to a small horizontal bar in the headboard that I thought was just a design feature, I didn’t know it had a function. When he is satisfied that I am secured he turns and enters the bathroom without a word. Leaving the bathroom door open, I can hear him, but not see him in there. I try to get a little more comfortable but with my hands stretched up high and tight. It is impossible. My mind wanders to images and the fact that he has these items in easy reach of his bed.