by Alyson Chase
When it came to life and death, there was no honor. Only survival.
He eyed Amanda, all curled up in a ball, and his muscles hardened to stone. She didn’t need his honor, his concern about insulting a friend by having an affair with her. She needed to come out of this exile to the other side, whole. And she wanted to do it, indeed had started the journey, by exploring her sexuality. Who was he to curb her impulses?
But first, she needed to get her lovely arse out of her hiding place.
He offered her his hand, palm up. “Reggie needs you to stop quivering in your wardrobe like a little mouse and take him downstairs.” The gold flecks in her brown eyes sparked like fire, and Julius smothered his triumph. Newgate hadn’t been able to beat out her pride and that’s what would get her through. “So, stop sniveling, take my hand, and get up.”
“I do not now, nor have I ever, sniveled.” She lifted her chin.
He believed her. “Prove it.” He bobbed his hand in front of her and prayed she’d take it soon. His shoulder was starting to ache from holding his arm in front of himself for so long.
“Fine,” she bit out. She slapped her palm in his, and even though that jarred his shoulder further, relief coursed through his body. Whatever demons had driven her into hiding were no match for her spirit.
Standing, he pulled her up with him and helped her over the lip of the armoire. Reggie shifted against her chest, and Julius reached for him.
Amanda adjusted her hold on the pup and twisted her hand in Julius’s, threading her fingers through his and holding on tight. A dull flush colored her cheeks, but she didn’t loosen her grip.
She needn’t have worried. Julius leaned close and whispered, “Don’t worry, mouse. I wasn’t going to let you go.”
Her dark eyes flashed at the nickname, and Julius realized just how entertaining it was going to be to tease this woman. Make her so inflamed she had no recourse but to burst out from her shell. He strode for the door, Amanda scampering after him. So very entertaining.
Chapter Eight
Julius shut the door behind the animal doctor and ignored Carter’s huff of displeasure at an earl doing a footman’s job. He was nearing the limit of his endurance and appeasing a pompous butler would push him over. Standing in the doorway to the morning room, he watched Amanda kneel next to Reggie and stroke his ears. All afternoon Julius had been watching Amanda. First to ensure she’d recovered from her earlier fright. When the color had returned to her cheeks and her hands had stopped trembling, Julius had relaxed. And then his gaze had dropped elsewhere.
He’d watched Amanda’s arse as she’d bent over the settee, cooing over the dog. Watched as her breasts, unrestrained by any underbodice, heaved with her sigh of relief when the doctor had declared Reggie’s ails temporary. Watched as strand after strand of her lustrous dark hair slipped loose from the messy knot at the back of her head.
He really should hire another maid for her. One to dress her properly and pin up her hair.
She stood, and sunlight turned the thin cotton of her gown semi-transparent. Every soft curve of her body was on display, her breasts shifting naturally against the fabric. The valley between her legs became a tantalizing shadow.
His cock thickened. The maid could wait. An artless Amanda was a sight to behold.
She met him at the door, Reggie in her arms. “I’m going to let him rest in my bed. It’s more comfortable than the settee.”
He nodded and followed her up the stairs. Her round bottom shifted from side to side in front of his face, and a groan escaped him.
Amanda paused. “Are you in pain? Should we call a doctor for you, as well?”
“I’m fine,” he ground out. At least, there was nothing that a doctor could fix.
“Hmm.” She continued up the stairs. “I thought perhaps your bruises were ailing you. They look quite painful.”
“And yet you’ve only thought to inquire of them now. Your lack of concern wounds me.” His face was a mess, purple staining his skin from his left eye to his lip. His ribs looked worse. Yet he wished he’d let Audley get in a couple more hits. A beating was a sad penance for getting a young man killed, but it was something.
Pushing thoughts of last night away, he followed Amanda to her room and waited at the door as she settled the dog in the middle of her bed. She tucked a pillow behind his back and drew the coverlet up to cover Reggie. Julius would have rolled his eyes over such attentiveness to a dog, but her actions had her bending over the bed, presenting her pert behind for his viewing pleasure yet again.
It was quickly becoming his favorite part of her body.
Sunlight turned her gown translucent once more, and Julius could no longer resist. Striding to the bed, he fitted his body to hers. She froze, her arms planted next to the dog. Julius ran his palms down her arms and encircled her wrists.
“I think Reggie needs uninterrupted rest. We should leave.” He pressed a kiss to the back of her neck and gauged her body’s reaction. Just because he’d found her in his bed once, he couldn’t assume she wanted more.
“Where would you suggest we go?” Was that a hint of flirtation in her voice? The small wriggle of her backside against his groin confirmed it.
He had an idea about that. He only hoped she’d be willing. “Follow me.” Taking one of her hands, he led her out of the room and down the hall.
When they passed his door, she hesitated. “We’re not going to your room?”
“Not yet.”
They took a back staircase. One maid saw them when they reached the ground floor, her eyes widening at the sight of Julius, and she stumbled over herself trying to curtsy and flee at the same time. Julius’s recent firings seemed to have had that effect on the remaining servants.
“Come.” Her hand tight in his, he led her down a narrow hallway to the door to the rear garden. He opened the door wide and breathed in the sweet, fresh air.
Amanda cowered behind his back. “What …?” She cleared her throat. “I wish to return upstairs.”
Turning, he took her other hand so he held both of hers in his own, his back to the open rectangle. “I know you do,” he said gently. “But it’s important for you to go out of doors. This is Marcus’s private garden. There will be no one else around. Only you, me, and the sunlight. Won’t you come for a stroll with me? Just for a little while?”
Her chest heaved, and she shook her head. “I can’t. If you would like a turn about the gardens, you go. I’ll wait in your chambers.”
Leaning forwards, he brushed his lips over hers. “We’ll return to my bedroom soon enough.” But first he wanted to see her skin touched by the sun’s rays. See whether her sable hair glinted red in the natural light like her sister’s did. Watch Amanda break free from her prison. “Let’s make it a game. For every five steps you take in the garden, I’ll …” His mind searched for an appropriate reward.
“Take me to my crisis, as you did before?” Her cheeks flushed pink. “I enjoyed that.”
As Julius wished for a long walk among the pebbled pathways, that could be quite a large number. But he was always up for a challenge. “All right. The terms are set.” He bent his head and whispered in her ear, “How far will you go for pleasure?” And he took a step backwards, onto the gravel path. Their hands were still joined, their arms now outstretched.
Amanda edged forward until finally sunlight broke across her face. She squeezed her eyes tight and grasped his hands even tighter.
“Join me on the garden path and you’ll have earned one reward.” Pulse pounding, Julius waited while she came to a decision. Her fear and agony were writ across her features, and it tore at his heart. But she needed this push.
She stepped across the threshold, and warmth radiated throughout his body. The first step was always the hardest.
“Marvelous job,” he said, keeping his voice light. “You’ve earned your reward.” Coming to her side, he tucked her arm through his and patted her hand. “Just five more steps and you’ll have a secon
d. That bed of crocuses looks five steps away. Let’s go visit those, shall we?”
She kept her eyes closed for those five steps. She pressed herself so tightly to him that he could feel her heart thumping against his arm. But she reached the flower bed. Such bravery demanded a prize.
Tilting her chin back, he cupped her face. He brushed his thumbs along her cheekbones, across the lids of her eyes. In the full light she didn’t look as fragile as she did indoors. Her skin lost some of its translucent quality, for which he was glad. Here was a living, breathing woman, not a delicate bit of porcelain. He traced the bow of her full upper lip, and she sighed. Lowering his head, he joined his mouth to hers.
The kiss was slow, thorough but sweet. When he raised his head, she blinked up at him. A smile tugged at her lips. “That was quite nice, but it doesn’t qualify as my reward. I will hold you to account.”
Rolling his eyes, he tucked her into his side again. “Let’s see how many more rewards you can win.” And so they made their way slowly through the garden, kissing every five steps, his body temperature firing higher and higher until Julius could take it no longer. He bustled her back to the side door and up to his room.
He kicked the door shut and pressed Amanda back against it. Her eyes were wide, dark pools, looking so fathomless he thought he would drown. “That was an amazing showing of fortitude and it is past time I delivered on my end of the bargain.”
She licked her bottom lip, her chest heaving. “Yes, please.” This woman was so ripe, so passionate. If she was right that she would never marry, it would be a crime to let her body suffer from neglect.
He lowered his head and pressed his lips to hers. She sighed. Tugging at her bottom lip, he swept inside her mouth. At the first slide of his tongue against hers, she clutched the sleeve of his coat and rocked up onto her toes.
The hair on the back of his neck stood on end, and his cock wept against the fall of his trousers. Julius drew back, trying to catch his breath. “Do you want the blindfold?”
She dropped back on her heels. Slowly, she shook her head. “This time, I want to watch.”
“Then I’ll be sure to put on a good show.” He pressed his hands flat against the door above her head. “Turn around.”
She complied, but kept her gaze on his face until her neck was twisted sharply over her shoulder. Under watchful eyes, he undid the buttons that ran down her back. Two of them had skipped a hole, but not a poor showing considering she’d dressed herself. She was a resourceful mouse. Pushing the dress down her shoulders, he let it slip to the floor, a puddle of fabric at her feet. Only a thin chemise covered her body and that soon joined the gown.
He clenched his fist. Need pounded through his body. With the back of his knuckles, he traced the line of her spine from her neck to the base of her back. Her skin was so soft. So smooth. And her arse was absolutely delicious.
“Go get on the bed.” He strode to a bureau and pulled a box from the bottom drawer. “And no closing the curtains. I’ll allow no retreats after your magnificent foray into the garden.”
She sat on her knees in the middle of the huge bed and nibbled on her bottom lip. “I don’t want to retreat. But … I might close my eyes.” Her gaze darted to the open window and the curtains billowing in the small breeze. “If it becomes too much.”
His heart squeezed, like a rag in the hands of a washerwoman. Life was too short to block it out by closing one’s eyes. She should know that. She needed to learn that joy existed in equal measure with despair. And perhaps, if he made her feel secure enough, she would lose all qualms about exploring outside her bounds.
Placing the japanned box on the bed, he lifted the lacquered lid. Under watchful brown eyes, he removed a cable of red silk rope and uncoiled it. The silk slid against his palms, a smooth caress.
He held it out for Amanda’s inspection. “This is what I used to tie you before. I also have a hemp rope, and a jute one, but this one is softer and good for novices.”
She ran her index finger along the braid, and Julius felt it as though her finger caressed his own skin.
Leaning forward, Amanda peeked into the box and lifted one of three glass bottles. She titled the amber bottle to the side and examined it through a stream of sunlight. “Oil?”
He nodded and wound one end of the rope around his fist.
She replaced it and dug deeper into the velvet lined interior. A wisp of dark hair drifted across her cheek. Brushing it behind her ear, Julius plucked the ineffectual pins from her head, tossing them onto the carpet. Her hair fell in thick waves down her back. It was long enough to serve as its own rope. He could definitely tie her wrists with it. And if she was flexible enough, perhaps even her ankles. He pressed his palm against the front of his trousers. He’d have to think on that.
A deep divot appeared between her eyebrows. She held up a twelve-inch jade column in one hand, and a much smaller one in the other. One end of the columns was softly rounded; the other flared to a wide base. She squinted and brought the objects closer to her face. “There are faces carved at the tops of these. Are they dolls of some sort?”
Biting back a smile, he placed the rope on the bed and pulled out the other three columns. He lined them up in a row before her, from largest to smallest, the pearlescent stones a soft and creamy green against the white counterpane. “Not dolls, my sweet. Tools. Objects to increase our pleasure. When I was in the East, before I was captured, I did a lot of shopping. Sent many toys back home for me and my friends.” He took the large one from her and replaced it in the box. “And that’s one you won’t be using for a while. Not until your body adjusts to the smaller sizes.”
“Adjusts …” Her eyes widened. “Where, exactly, do you plan on placing these tools?”
He smiled. “Two guesses.” When she continued to frown, he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her lips. “Trust me. Whatever I do will be for your enjoyment.”
Taking what he needed, he put the box on the floor and undressed.
“Why do I think these won’t only be for my enjoyment,” she grumbled. But the corner of her mouth twitched. The smile faded as the last of his clothes fell away. She looked away from his groin, pink flaring across her cheeks.
He crawled over her, his body forcing hers to lay back. “I promise, if you don’t find pleasure in something, I won’t either. Now”—he traced the lower curve of her mouth with his tongue and sucked the plump flesh into his mouth—“are you going to stop questioning my every move, or do I need to gag this pretty mouth?”
“You could try.” Her eyes glittered darkly. “But I’ve lived my entire life biting my tongue, never speaking up. I won’t let anyone silence me again.”
Like an artist before a block of marble, Amanda chipped another piece of Julius’s reserve away. If he wasn’t careful, she’d carve him into an entirely new man.
“No gags.” He settled into the cradle of her hips, his cock nestled against the soft lips of her cunny. Running his nose up her neck, he inhaled deeply. “Besides, I can think of much more interesting things to stick in that mouth than a rag.”
Clenching a fistful of her hair, he turned his wrist, each revolution wrapping more strands around his hand until he was tight against her skull. Holding her head immobile, he took her mouth, feasting on her eagerness. Amanda’s innocence had long been taken, but Julius would bet that no one had spent any time merely kissing her. It was an intimate act, more intimate than fucking. And Julius loved that he was the one introducing her to that pleasure.
He scraped his teeth along her tongue, exhaled when she inhaled, merging their breaths into one. He made his kisses soft, whispers of a touch, before delving back in and demanding her surrender.
When he finally pulled back, light-headed and out of breath, her lips were swollen and red.
“Julius.” She pressed a palm to his chest. “That was lovely, but …”
“But what?”
Her cheeks flushed red. Julius glanced down. The blush spread to the top
s of her breasts, and he couldn’t resist taking one of her hard nipples in his mouth and suckling.
“But … oh, my …” Her chest heaved with a ragged breath. “But I don’t quite know what I’m to do. Should I be touching you? Before, men took what they wanted and left.”
Julius dug his fingers into her hip before relaxing. He needed to hear her out. Understand what she needed.
“But with you,” she continued, “since we’re …”
“Having carnal relations.”
She looked over his shoulder. “Yes, that. Since we’re doing that, I feel like I should do something more or else you’ll become disinterested. But I don’t know what.”
Julius sat back and looked down at the lovely woman laid before him. “First, any time you wish to touch me, you may. It will always be welcome. Unless we’re having tea with the prince regent, and even then I think I could make it work.”
A smile curved her mouth, but she still chewed her lip like it was made of spun sugar.
“Second, I will never become uninterested in you. Do you know why?” He picked up the rope and eyed the canvas of warm flesh before him. She shook her head, sucking in a sharp breath when he looped the cable over one ankle. “Because even when you do nothing, are unable to move a single, solitary inch, you are the most alluring woman I know.” He spoke the truth, and for a minute his gut clenched at the knowledge that their time was temporary. For even though Amanda’s prospects for marriage were limited, his were nonexistent. After his time in the East, he’d known he could never take those vows. But that didn’t mean he couldn’t enjoy the time they did have.
He wound the rope up both legs, pulling them tight together. Julius made sure there was enough give so she could bend at the knees before rolling her onto her side. He crisscrossed the rope around her back and shoulders, weaving a harness. Each inch of silk that slid through his fingers soothed the itch under his skin that was a constant presence. Every coil of rope against her smooth skin settled his nerves.
And inflamed his desire.
He wound and tied, finding peace in the patterns and beauty in the design. Each loop and knot bound Amanda to his bed. To his room. To him. She moved with his unspoken commands, arching her back or lifting an arm to let him work. She made no sound except the soft whisper of her breath. With every foot of rope that encircled her body, her fists relaxed more and more, her eyelids lowering to half-mast. A content Mona Lisa.