by Jess Dee
After the excitement of the wedding had passed and real life had set in, she’d been so busy avoiding her friends, it had almost been a relief Jared wasn’t there. She hadn’t wanted anyone close to her to visit. She’d kept them all at arm’s length.
Jared would never have let Ava hide. He’d have insisted on seeing her.
“Surreal’s a good word,” he said. “I can’t believe I’m home.”
“Your mum must be thrilled.”
“She cried buckets when she saw me. Then cried more when I told her I was staying with Greg.”
“Is his place big enough for both of you?” Greg lived in a one-bedroom apartment.
“I’m sleeping on the couch. Beats staying with my folks again. I’m too old for that. I’ll start looking for my own place as soon as I’ve found a job.” Jared yawned hugely.
“Tired?” Ava let them into the building and then her flat and walked straight into the kitchen to put the kettle on.
He followed her in. “Exhausted.”
“Stretch out on the couch, get comfortable. I’ll make tea.”
Jared didn’t move. Instead he eyed her intently, his brown gaze on her face. “You going to tell me what that was about?”
Her stomach sank. “What what was about?”
He hitched a thumb over his shoulder. “Your reaction in the car. When I touched you.”
Unable to face him, Ava turned to the cupboard to grab a mug. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“You flinched. As though I’d…” His voice was husky, and he cleared his throat before continuing. “As though I’d hit you. Or as though you feared I might hit you.”
“Oh, that.” She pasted a smile on her face as she turned back to him. “You gave me an electric shock. Didn’t you feel it? There must be a lot of static in the air.”
Jared didn’t believe her. She knew, because his eyes had narrowed again.
“Now, I want to hear all about your time away. Tell me about L.A. and work—starting from your first day there and ending with your last. I want to know about the sanctuary, the animals, your job. The people you met, girlfriends… Hey, are you still seeing that woman, Angela?”
He didn’t answer.
Needing to keep busy—so she wouldn’t have to look him in the eye and see his disbelief reflected there—she pulled a tub of Ben & Jerry’s Phish Food from the freezer and set out the mug and a plate, which she piled high with her choc chip treats.
“You never said whether it was serious or not, you just said she was a hot Yank. Did she like the cookies? Did you even share them? Oh, I hope I sent enough for two people.” Now that she thought about it, the parcels she’d sent had just been for him. She should have sent bigger tins.
Ava prepared his tea—strong and white with one sugar, just the way he liked it. Piling everything on a tray, she handed it to Jared and hustled him into the lounge room, fully aware he’d yet to speak.
She helped herself to the ice cream while he took his tea. “I going to have to assume I didn’t send enough if you’re not answering me. Shoot, I’m sorry.”
Jared frowned for a second, then he shook his head and responded. “No, Angela and I aren’t together anymore. And to answer your questions, you sent enough cookies to feed the whole of California.”
“So you did share them?”
“Of course not.” To punctuate his point, he wolfed down a cookie in two bites. “And if you sent me away with another batch now, I still wouldn’t share.”
She grinned and popped a big spoon of ice cream in her mouth, delighted that he’d hogged them all. “What happened with Angela?”
“You still love Phish Food?” He shook his head in wonder.
“More than sex,” Ava confirmed. There’d been a time Ava had loved sex more than anything. God, it seemed like a million years ago. “So what happened with the hot Yank?”
He shrugged, and this time there was no concern or worry to the action. “She wasn’t the one.”
Jared’s standard answer whenever a relationship didn’t work. “You’re a hopeless case, you know that? Will you ever find the one?”
He looked at her for a long time, his gaze steady. “Haven’t given up hope yet.” He shoved another cookie in his mouth.
“How’s your leopard doing?”
“Gheeri?”
Jared had told her all about a black panther he’d treated at the refuge. A sleek, damaged beauty Jared had fallen in love with. She’d been brought to the refuge after a police raid on a kingpin’s house—where she’d been kept as a pet, chained to a fence. “Uh-huh. I didn’t think you’d ever leave her.”
“I didn’t want to.” He smiled, his whole face lighting up, and for a second Ava was struck dumb by how handsome he was. How could she have forgotten? The man was hot, hot, hot.
“It’s thanks to her I stayed a year and a half, instead of the four months I’d signed up for. But she’s doing good now. Real good.” He tapped his heart. “I know, in here, she’s going to be okay.”
Gheeri’s owner had secured the chain to her back leg. In repeated efforts to escape, she’d snapped the bones in that leg several times, and though they’d knitted back together untreated, the leg had been severely deformed by the time she’d arrived at the refuge.
“She stole my heart, Av. She was broken when she came to us. Beaten into submission and crippled from years of pain. Seeing her transformation as she healed was…magical.” Usually, Jared was not a man of many words, but when it came to his patients, he wove tales. “Watching her explore her new enclosure, every hundred square meters of it for the first time, after spending her life in a tiny walled-in yard, was…” He shrugged helplessly. “I cried.”
She smiled tenderly.
“We all did.”
Jared, always so stoic in human company, was a big softy when it came to his patients. When it came to any animal. Veterinary science was the best thing he could have studied. He’d been born to work with animals.
Between several large yawns, Jared spoke some more about Gheeri and then about a brown bear who’d been brought to them a month ago with severe tooth decay. He told her about a lion who’d been retired from the film industry and a cougar who was accidentally shot during a hunting trip. Soon as the cat had been rehabilitated, she’d been released back into the wild.
Ava hung on every word. His passion for his work was inspiring. And endearing. And just one of the million things she adored about him.
She knew she should send him back to Greg’s place to sleep, and she would have, if she could have found it in her heart to say goodbye. But their conversation had eased her concerns, and far from the anxiety she’d felt with him earlier, she was totally relaxed in his company now—just like she’d always been.
If he’d shown any interest in leaving, she’d have shooed him out the front door, but Jared seemed as content to be there as she was to have him.
However, thirty minutes later, when Ava nipped into the kitchen to make him a fresh cup of tea, he didn’t notice her return. Instead of giving him the tea, Ava fetched a blanket from the cupboard.
He lay on the couch, his head resting on one end, his feet hanging over the other. His eyes were closed and his chest rose and fell in the soft, rhythmic beat of sleep.
Jared stretched, rolled over and slowly opened his eyes. His back ached, his knees creaked and his muscles complained about spending a second night sleeping on something that obviously wasn’t a bed. The room was dark and foreign. Confused, he blinked a few times.
Sydney.
He was home.
No, he wasn’t. He didn’t have a home. The last one had been a cramped cottage at the refuge, but he’d given it up a couple of weeks back.
So, Greg’s place then.
Nope. He couldn’t see much, but the shapes around him and the size of the room told him he wasn’t at his brother’s.
He pushed off a blanket he didn’t remember wrapping himself in and sat up with a yawn, and just like that he
knew where he was.
He must have passed out. He remembered lying on the couch, listening to Ava’s melodic voice drifting from the kitchen. He’d considered his answer, told himself what to say…and that was the last thing he remembered.
Damn jetlag.
His watch told him it was just after three a.m. His mouth told him he needed a large drink of water and his bladder told him just the opposite.
The door to one of the two bedrooms was half closed and the lights were off. Liv’s room was also dark, but her door was wide open. A quick glance told Jared it was empty. He used her bathroom, helped himself to some water in the kitchen and then walked over to Ava’s room.
She was probably asleep, but he’d check, just in case.
He eased the door open.
Silence greeted him.
Light from the kitchen spilled across her doorway, and Jared made out her shape beneath the doona. She lay on her side, an arm flung out before her, her hair fanning over the pillow.
Ava had a lot of hair. Sleek, sexy hair, which tumbled down her back in thick, black waves and glistened in the sunlight, as though weaved with strands of crystal.
He brushed his hand through his own hair, the short ends prickling his fingers.
Christ. Over eighteen months he’d spent away from her, yet still he ached to run his hands through her hair, tug on the ends and tilt her head back so her lips faced upward…
Jared’s chest squeezed, making breathing difficult. That old proverb about time and healing was complete bullshit. His heart was still torn wide open, still bleeding…for her. Staying away hadn’t weakened his feelings at all.
It was a miracle he’d managed to stay in America after he’d discovered her marriage was over. His first instinct had been to get on a plane and come home—to Ava.
But he’d stopped himself. She’d needed time to get over Anthony. There was no way she would have fallen into Jared’s arms mere days after leaving her husband—no matter how much Jared might have wanted her to.
Hell, there was no guarantee she’d fall into his arms now. He might be back for her, but Ava had no idea how he felt. She didn’t know he’d left Sydney because watching her marry another man had almost killed him.
Yeah, he was Ava’s best friend, but that didn’t mean she’d ever return his love. All he could do was hope. And do the damn best he could to win her heart.
The question was: Would he succeed?
He knew he should leave the flat. Turn around and walk out of the room. Hell, he should get his ass over to Greg’s place. His brother was probably wondering where the hell he was. But deep as he searched, Jared could not find the strength to go. Instead, he rested his shoulder against the doorjamb, content to watch her sleep.
Wishing he could lie beside her. Hold her.
Make love to her.
His eyes slowly adjusted to the dimness and his ears to the quiet. Ava’s soft, even breathing echoed through the room. Her body was relaxed in sleep. The tension that held her shoulders stiff in the car was gone.
There she was, sleek and stunning. Like Gheeri.
The black panther had reminded him of Ava from the beginning, with her green eyes, shiny coat and dark hair. And those typical leopard markings covering Gheeri’s body, only visible if one got close enough to look carefully.
The fool who’d taken ownership of Gheeri had probably never gotten close enough to see the marks. Fuck knew, he’d never gotten close enough to establish the big cat was a female. He’d stupidly called her Bagheera—after the male panther from The Jungle Book.
Ava hid her spots too. Superficially, she was sleek and perfect. She kept her worries hidden beneath the surface, far from curious eyes. Jared had been one of the few she’d shared them with.
But that was then, when her problems had been easily solved. She’d obviously collected a shitload more since last he’d seen her—and she was no longer in a hurry to share them.
He’d loved being with her tonight. It had been so long since he’d been able to hang out just with her. Distance aside, Anthony had interfered with their friendship. From the time he and Ava had gotten engaged, two months before Jared had decided to leave Sydney, Anthony had objected whenever he and Ava had tried to get together.
Ava had found it endearing. She’d adored how much time Anthony wanted to spend with her. Jared had found it pathological and begun to feel an unhealthy loathing for his friend’s fiancé.
He sighed in frustration and shifted to lean on the other doorjamb, accidentally knocking the door against the wall.
Refusing to put his happiness before Ava’s, Jared had never expressed just how much he disliked the man. Now he wished to God he had.
Ava’s breath faltered, then it stopped.
Jared held his own breath, hoping he hadn’t woken her. Probably not. Ava slept like the dead. The second her head hit the pillow, she was out. Nothing less than a bucket of ice water would rouse her from her dreams.
And Jared would know. He’d used ice water. Once.
He’d never make that mistake again.
Ava bolted upright with a loud gulp, grabbing her pillow and holding it across her body like a shield. She looked around the room wildly. “Who is it? Who’s there?”
What the fuck? “Av, it’s me.”
She glared in his direction but didn’t loosen up at all. If anything, every one of her muscles seemed to coil and flex, like Gheeri’s did, seconds before she pounced.
“It’s Jared,” he said, keeping his voice soft. Inside, his stomach knotted.
“J-Jared?” she asked suspiciously.
“Yeah, baby. It’s just me.” This was the second time in a matter of hours she’d overreacted to his presence.
She didn’t move.
Instinctively, he held his hands up, reassuring her they were empty and he meant her no harm. The idea that she might think he did sent a surge of ice through his blood. “I fell asleep on your couch.” His tone was the same one he used on his patients when they were spooked. Soothing, low, gentle and reassuring.
She eyed him from the bed.
“Woke up a few minutes ago and came looking for you. You were sound asleep. I’m sorry I disturbed you. I never meant to.” He sure hadn’t meant to scare the living shit out of her.
Ava lowered the pillow. “Wow. S-sorry about that. You, uh, startled me.”
“My bad for waking you. You okay now?”
“I will be. Soon as my heart rate slows down to a gentle gallop.” She dropped her head back against the headboard.
Thinking of the bottle of orange juice he’d seen in her fridge just a few minutes ago, Jared excused himself. “Be right back.”
Quick as he could, he poured a glass and was back in Ava’s room in seconds. “Here you go.” He held out the drink. “Have a sip.” After the scare he’d given her, she needed the sugar.
Ava took it, but her hand shook badly, and juice sloshed over the edge of the glass.
“Why don’t I hold it while you drink?”
“No! Uh, no, thank you.” Ava swallowed. “Look, there’s no need to treat me like a baby. I’m fine.”
“I know you are. You just don’t need juice spilling onto your clean sheets. You’re trembling.”
She set the glass on the bedside table without drinking any of it. “Adrenaline. It hasn’t had a chance to settle.”
Jared studied her for a long time, emotions warring in his chest. Shock and worry jostled for first place.
“Av?” He sat on the edge of her bed and used his gentlest voice. It only worked on the cats sometimes. God knew if it would have any effect on his friend. “Tell me what happened.”
“You woke me. I wasn’t expecting it.”
“No.” In measured and slow movements, he stuck out his hand, showing it to her the entire time, until his fingers met hers. Carefully he twined them together, giving her every opportunity to pull away. Thankfully she didn’t, and he cradled her hand in his. “I mean what happened while I was g
one?”
Ava’s gaze tracked his movement the entire time. Her fingers hung like limp spaghetti in his. “I, uh, I don’t understand what you mean.”
“I’m surprised by your reaction to me. First in the car and again now.” Still moving slowly, he raised her hand to his mouth and kissed it. Softly, gently, so she knew there was no threat to his action, only concern. “The Ava I knew wouldn’t have twitched. Not when I touched you or when I knocked the door into the wall. You’d either have grabbed my hand and held on to it or you’d have slept through the noise. Yet both times, you bolted like a spider had run across your legs.”
She shuddered. “God forbid.” Ava had an irrational fear of spiders.
“Talk to me, Torres.”
“There’s nothing to say. You’re overreacting.”
He was overreacting?
“I was startled. Both times. That’s all.” She squeezed his fingers in reassurance, and thankfully, kept her grip firm after that.
“Look, Jar, it’s…” She squinted at her night table. “Three fifteen in the morning. The last thing I feel like doing is talking. How about you let me go back to sleep?”
Jared rubbed his free hand over his face in frustration. Greg had warned him. He’d said Ava had changed. She was different—and had been ever since she’d left Anthony. His brother didn’t know why, and none of their friends had been able to pin her down for an explanation, although they’d all hazarded guesses.
Silently, Jared had rejected the theory that Anthony had been unfaithful. How could any man lucky enough to win Ava’s heart cheat on her? No one would be that stupid.
Zoey and Liv suggested Anthony might have been neglectful, spending more time at work or with his friends and family than with Ava. That was a possibility. The arrogant asshole could easily have figured that once he’d married her, he’d owned her. He no longer had to make an effort to be nice.
Idiot. Ava was more interesting than any job could be, ever. More interesting than any person too—friend or family.