by Jess Dee
“You sure di— Hang on.” He ground to a halt again. “Greg knew? My brother?”
“That I was into you? Of course. Who’d you think was telling me to show you the girls? He convinced me it would work.”
“Son of a bitch.” Jared tugged his phone out of his pocket and tapped on the screen.
“Oi, I’m telling you all about my teenage heartache—of which you were a key player—and you’re playing on the phone?”
“Shhh.” Jared put the phone to his ear. “It’s ringing.”
She propped a fist on her hip and glared at him. “That’s the last time I tell you anything private.”
“Apparently not so private if everyone at school knew. Well, everyone but me.” He tilted his head, listening to the phone. “Yeah, it’s me. Just checking in to see if there’s anything you wanted to tell me about Ava.”
Jared quirked an eyebrow as the person on the other end of the line responded. “No, Greg. I mean anything about Ava and school. Our HSC year, to be specific. Something you knew that maybe I didn’t?” His gaze found hers, his eyes dancing.
“Yeah, that,” he said and then listened. “Now? You’re telling me this now?”
“You’re discussing this with him now?” Ava asked. “You can’t wait ’til you get home?”
“When I was seventeen. That’s when,” Jared told Greg.
Silence.
“Of course it was my business. She had the hots for me.”
Ava sighed out loud. “I should never have told you. Now you’re just getting all bigheaded about it.”
He winked at her. “Is there anything else you never told me?” he asked his brother.
Thirty seconds later, Jared winced. “I meant about me, not you. Christ, I didn’t need to hear that.”
He shook his head. “Yeah, you’re right. I asked. My bad. Next time I’ll be more specific. Later, bro.” Jared placed his phone back in his pocket.
“Are we all done with our phone calls now?” Ava asked patiently.
“He really did know.”
“Of course he did. Everyone knew.”
“Except me.”
“Except you.”
Jared held up his arm in invitation, and Ava tucked herself under it. In perfect unison they began walking again.
“I’m blown away.”
“Don’t be. It was a long time ago.”
“You know…” He drummed his fingers against her upper arm. “It almost makes sense, in a cosmic kind of a way.”
“What does?” The gentle tap-tap-tap of his fingers distracted her. It felt good. So did his arm, all solid, warm and secure around her shoulders.
“My not knowing you were in love with me.”
“And how does that makes sense cosmically?”
“I think it’s called fair play. Or tit for tat. I’ve been in love with you for years, and you’ve never noticed.”
Ava tripped. Had Jared not tightened his grip around her shoulders, she’d have broken her fall with her nose.
“Easy, tiger.” He released her shoulders to hold both of her arms, steadying her.
“Wh-what did you just say?” Her voice trembled as she gaped up at him.
They stood on the footpath under a pool of light from a street lamp.
“Just commenting on the workings of the universe.” He gave her a self-deprecating smile. “Karma’s a bitch, isn’t it?”
“Y-you’re in love with me?” God, her brain wasn’t processing this. Not at all.
“Head over heels.”
“You mean, you were in love with me, as in a school-kid crush sort of thing? Like I was in love with you.”
“Nothing like that.”
Jared’s gaze was so intense, Ava struggled to breathe. “You’re joking, right?” He had to be.
“Not even a little bit.”
“But…” She swallowed, trying to organize her thoughts into a coherent pattern, but failed miserably. Her head was all over the place. “But you haven’t seen me in eighteen months.”
“Crazy, I know. Time and distance didn’t change a damn thing.”
“You can’t be in love with me. You were seeing Angela.”
Angela. Arlene. Ava. What was it with him and A names?
“I was. Then I wasn’t.” He shrugged. “She’s not the one.”
The one. Jared had always had blind faith that one day he’d meet her.
As perplexing as their conversation was, one thing she had no trouble understanding was the movement of his hand up her arm. Every cell in her body was aware of it inching higher and higher, up to her shoulder, slow enough that she could shrug it off at any time.
It’s no threat. No threat at all.
Jared’s hand would never be dangerous. If anything, it sent oddly pleasant shivers across her skin.
Still, she focused on it, waiting, preparing in case the touch changed. “I have no idea what to say.”
A smile broke over Jared’s face, playful enough Ava’s lips twitched in response. “Don’t say a thing. Just shove the girls in my line of sight, and we’ll take it from there.”
She grinned, more comfortable with his teasing then his serious mood. “I tried that before. It never worked.”
“Try it again.” He tried to joke, but his voice was gruff, and that gruffness did funny things to her belly. “It’ll work this time. I swear.”
“I’m not showing you my breasts.”
“Fine. Just press them against my chest.”
“Jared!”
“Hey, it was worth a try.” His hand crept higher, and the humor in his tone vanished. “There’s something you should know.” Slow and serious, he enunciated every syllable, as though making sure she heard him clearly.
Nervous, she cleared her throat. “And that is?”
There it was again, that intense gaze. “I’m going to kiss you.”
“Wha—?”
“Within the next minute. I’m going to lower my face, press my lips against yours, and kiss you.”
“Y-you can’t.” Could he?
“When I do, I’m going to move my hand up so I can weave it through your hair. Like…this.”
His hand left her shoulder, grazing her neck as his fingers wound through her hair.
Goose bumps broke out along her spine, and she closed her eyes, fear rearing its ugly head.
Inhale. Exhale.
“Look at me.” His warm breath washed over her cheek.
Was that apprehension shooting the goose bumps down her arms—or something else altogether?
He tugged gently on her hair, tipping her head back. “Open your eyes so you can see my face, understand my intent.”
Helpless to resist, she did and found him staring at her. His face was close enough to jerk her heart into a jagged beat.
His gaze trapped hers, his eyes filled with tenderness. “You’re safe with me,” he promised. “Always.”
Ava couldn’t speak. Couldn’t remember how.
She was safe with him. She knew it deep in her bones. So why was she trembling?
“Trust me.” He inched closer, then closer still, until she had to squint to keep him in focus.
The trembling turned to full-blown shivers.
“Trust me?” This time it was a question, asked so close, his breath whispered over her lips.
“Always.”
With a low groan, Jared pressed his mouth to hers.
Ava’s eyelids drooped. She couldn’t possibly keep them open under the onslaught of emotion hitting her from all sides.
Oh God. Oh God, oh God, oh God.
Jared was kissing her. Her best, closest friend in the whole wide world had set his mouth on hers—and kissed her.
God help her, it felt good. So good. So gentle and innocent. So sweet and…loving. Yet so unexpected. Eleven years ago she’d have died and gone to heaven at the feel of his lips on hers. Now? She felt…she felt…
Absolutely terrified.
Tremors shook her body. Tears swamped he
r eyes.
Part of her ached to throw caution to the wind and sink into the kiss, but another part fought to yank free of his hold, turn tail and run.
Inertia held her motionless. How could she run—or respond—when her muscles had turned to jelly? They refused to obey the orders her brain sent. Or maybe her brain had forgotten to send out basic impulses.
Blood drained into her feet, making her weak.
Jared.
Kissing her.
Ava thought she might very well pass out from the pleasure and panic of it all.
He pulled away with another low groan. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.”
Ava didn’t open her eyes. Fear of what she’d see in his kept them shut. She swallowed down a massive lump in her throat and licked her lips nervously, tasting him there.
Jared made a low, wordless sound, like a soft growl.
The hand in her hair loosened. “I need to touch your face. Run my thumb along your lips.” Once again, his fingers grazed her neck, sending fresh flares of goose bumps down her arms. Slowly, softly, he trailed a feather-light touch up the side of her throat and over her cheek.
Tingles erupted wherever his fingers moved.
Then his thumb was on her mouth, brushing over her lips. Gently. So gently.
Ava need only jiggle her head and she’d shake him off.
He trailed his thumb back across her lip, using a little more pressure.
Her mouth parted, enough that the next time Jared ran his thumb across it, it skimmed her teeth and the edges of her upper lip too.
“Open for me. Let me taste your tongue.” His words were a seductive whisper.
Ava’s belly fluttered.
“Let me kiss you. Like a man kisses a woman.”
Desire, swift and unexpected, washed through her, making her gasp.
Jared took advantage of her surprise, placing his thumb on her chin and pressing down, so she had no choice but to widen the space between her lips.
Ava almost panicked, but Jared instantly lessened the pressure. She was free to step back if she wished.
“You’re so damn beautiful,” he murmured. “Trust me. Let me in.”
Ava tried to respond. She did, but words stuck in her throat. Her heart beat a staccato rhythm, fast and out of time.
He must have sensed her internal struggle. “Nod. Just once. It’s all I need from you.”
She inhaled a shaky breath…and nodded.
Jared moaned, and his mouth was back on hers, nuzzling her one lip and then the other. He ran his tongue along the inside edge of the lower one before grazing his teeth over the same, sensitive spot.
“Jared.” His name was nothing but a whisper, and in a warm, silken invasion, Jared slid his tongue into her mouth.
The tears were back, pushing against her eyelids, threatening to escape. So were the tremors, rocking her body. Neither surprised her as much as the liquid heat pooling between her legs.
Ava was aroused. Turned on by her best friend and his exquisite tenderness. It had been a very, very long time since she’d been turned on.
Jared spent a long, leisurely moment toying with her tongue, sliding his across hers, teasing.
The lump in her throat returned, making breathing difficult.
But dear God, his mouth did crazy things to her body, turning her stomach inside out, sending her pulse into overdrive. Her hands and feet felt as heavy as concrete. Her breasts tightened, the nipples pulling into hard beads as blood throbbed through her veins.
Without thinking, Ava took a step toward Jared, closing the distance between them. Jared responded with a harsh groan, hauling her against his body and clamping his lips over hers.
That was all it took for nine months of training to kick in. Ava reacted on instinct.
Jared couldn’t contain his stunned gasp as her hand found his balls. He jerked his mouth from hers and froze.
One wrong move, and his testicles were porridge.
Ava held them in a death grip—a far cry from the hot, sexy touch he’d dreamed about. The heel of her other hand was wedged beneath his sternum. She need only snap her wrist to wind him.
The erection that had burgeoned to life at the taste of her sweet breath died a swift death, and Jared silently cursed his recklessness.
Bloody idiot. How stupid had he been, moving that fast? Ava wasn’t ready to trust a man. Any man. And especially not a man holding her captive against him.
But, Christ, kissing her undid him. It made him act crazy.
Calmly as possible, he freed her body from the prison of his arms and held his hands up for her to see. “I kind of got ahead of myself.” He kept his voice low and soothing, like he did with his injured patients.
The low part wasn’t hard. His throat was rough with emotion. The soothing part… Yeah, that was a bit tougher. Especially with his nuts on the line. But Gheeri had always responded to that tone. All of the cats had. Would Ava?
Her chest heaved unevenly, and her eyes were fixed on his face, her mouth set in a stern line. From the tightness in her jaw, he guessed her teeth were clenched together.
“One taste of you short-circuited my mind. I just wanted more. I’m sorry for not checking with you first.” Adrenaline pounded his system. Whether the rush was brought on by the wonder of kissing Ava or the shock of her reaction, he had no idea. All he knew was he had to work double as hard as usual to hold still.
The last thing he needed to do now was startle her.
“Av?”
No answer. Not that he really expected one.
“The idea of your hand on my balls has been a regularly featured fantasy for years, but the footpath outside a block of flats probably isn’t the best place to live out said fantasy.”
Her grip lessened not at all.
“Okay, I’m good with outside a block of flats. Hell, I’m good with you touching me anywhere. But maybe loosen your hold just a bit?”
Still no response.
Maybe humor would work. “Or, I don’t know, rub instead of squeeze?”
Ava released him abruptly, stepping back.
He breathed a silent sigh of relief.
“Don’t be a pig, Thurston.” She whirled away, giving him her back as she marched off.
“Wait.” He strode to catch up, keeping his tone light. “You had me by the balls, but I’m the pig?”
She pressed her lips together and didn’t answer.
“Quite some moves you’ve got there, Torres. You almost ended my ability to have children.”
“Shut up, Jared.” The words were choked.
“Av.” He dropped the lightness from his tone. “I’m joking. That’s all. Trying to defuse the situation.” Things had gotten both tense and intense, very fast, and if he had the ability, he’d kick his own ass for letting issues get so out of hand.
Ava just increased the speed and size of her paces.
She moved more quickly than Jared would have thought possible—just like Gheeri, when the leopard perceived danger in her surroundings. When she perceived him to be a danger.
The thought of Ava perceiving him as dangerous tore a hole through his chest.
“I just want to talk, that’s all. Clear the air between us.”
She shook her head in a silent no. Only she wasn’t that silent. A muffled sob echoed through the air.
Reality hit him like a slap across the face. She was crying. Tears streaked down her cheeks. Pain ripped through his gut. “Ava.”
“Leave me alone. Please.” She walked ahead of him.
“I can’t.” He kept pace. “I don’t want to.”
“I want you to. I need you to.”
“No. You need to stop running and talk to me. Tell me why you’re so upset.”
Again she shook her head, but this time her sob wasn’t silent.
“Ava.” Her name was torn from his lips. “Christ, stop. Please. Let me talk to you. Let me hold you.”
His words went unacknowledged.
“I won’t hurt you, baby. I swear, I’d never hurt you.” It came out as a harsh, heartfelt whisper. He was desperate to engage her, to comfort and reassure her.
Ava’s steps slowed until she came to a stop. She dropped her head in her hands.
Jared circled to face her, leaving enough space between them that she could run if she needed to. “No matter what happens, I would never hurt you. If you believe nothing else, believe that.”
Her shoulders heaved in time with the sound of her sobs.
“Come here. Come to me.” He held his arms out, keeping his hands open, visible if she looked. “Let me hold you. Comfort you.”
“Jared…”
“Believe me. Believe I’d never harm you.”
“I do.” She stared at him, her face ravaged with tears.
“Show me.” God, he ached for her. “Please.”
Jared said no more after that, waiting instead. Giving her the time and space to respond. He held his breath, frightened that even the smallest sound might scare her.
And Ava walked right into his arms.
He released that pent-up breath in a ragged sigh. As Ava touched her head to his chest, he wrapped her against his body, holding her loosely in his embrace. It wasn’t enough.
“Can I hold you tighter? Pull you in closer?”
“I… I’d like that.”
Jared tugged her in, holding her as close as he dared. For the first time since his lips had touched hers, he found his lungs functioning properly again. He rested his chin on the top of her head and ran his hand along the length of her hair, up and down, soothing the woman he loved. “I’m sorry I frightened you.”
“I’m sorry I panicked.” Her voice was thick with tears. “I…know you’d never hurt me.”
Never. Not in a million years. And yet she’d still felt threatened.
With each moment that passed, Jared’s suspicions about Anthony increased, as did his fury. The bastard had hurt Ava.
Jared had never experienced a murderous rage, but he was coming close now. God help Anthony if Jared—or his brother, or any of the Dinner Club, for that matter—ever got their hands on him.
For long moments they stood there, shrouded in silence. Jared struggled to keep his wrath under control, anger and disgust for her ex boiling in his veins. He had no proof, and his rage would only scare the woman he loved, so he shoved it aside, focusing on his desire to hold and protect her.