"There's nothing to thank me for." He looked down at her, and the pain faded from his eyes, replaced by a far different emotion. "This isn't the way I wanted it to happen, but I've thought about you here in my house, too often." He slowly bent down, until his lips hovered inches from hers. "Tell me to stop, Becca. Tell me that you don't want me to kiss you."
It was exactly what she wanted, she realized, and she lifted herself up until her lips met his. He stilled for a moment, then took her mouth with a hunger that matched her own.
Would it always be like this between them? Would one touch kindle this fire that threatened to rage out of control? Would she always burn with this need for Grady?
She suspected that she would. Even during the past nine years she had yearned for him, at night lying in her lonely bed, in her restless dreams. They might not be able to resolve their differences, but right now it didn't matter. She and Grady were together, and they wanted each other. For now it would have to be enough.
"Mommy?"
Cassie's sleepy voice shocked her back to the present. For a moment she stood frozen in Grady's arms, then she tore herself away and raced into the room where Cassie slept.
"What it is, sweetheart?" She knelt by the bed and pushed her daughter's hair away from her face.
"There's something wrong with the bed," Cassie said petulantly. She hadn't yet opened her eyes. "It doesn't feel right."
"That's because it's not your bed. We're not at home anymore, Cass. We're out at the Flying W Ranch."
She spoke softly, hoping to reassure her daughter, but her words brought Cassie wide-awake. "How did we get here?" she asked, looking around at the unfamiliar room.
"We had a little problem at our house," Becca said, praying that Cassie wouldn't ask for details tonight "It'll take a few days to fix it. So Mr. Farrell said we could stay here. We carried you out to the car while you were sleeping."
Cassie looked out the window. Becca knew she could see nothing but the pasture, and maybe a few of Grady's head of cattle. But when Cassie looked back at her, her face was glowing.
"You mean I get to stay here, with Pete and all the other horses?"
Trust a child to put everything into perspective, she thought. Smiling at her daughter, smoothing her hair back, she said, "That's exactly what I mean. But you need to go back to sleep tonight, because it's very late, If you wake up again, I'll be in the room across the hall."
"Okay." Cassie snuggled back under the sheet and quilt, and gave her a huge grin. "Can I go see Pete in the morning?"
"That's up to Mr. Farrell. But if it's all right with him, it's fine with me."
Cassie obediently closed her eyes, but her smile lingered, even after Becca could see that she'd fallen asleep again. She waited until her child's breathing was deep and even, then stepped back out into the hail.
She was surprised that Grady stood waiting for her. "Is she all right?" he asked. "Was she afraid about finding herself in a strange place?"
"Not once she realized what that place was," she answered, smiling at the memory. "The only thing she asked me about was Pete."
"Didn't she want to know why you were here?"
"I told her that there was something wrong with the house, and we might be here for a few days." She laid a hand on his arm, touched by his obvious concern for Cassie. "Kids are remarkably resilient. Right now Pete is more important to her than what's wrong with her house. And I'd like to keep it that way. I don't want her to know what's going on."
The worry faded from his eyes, slowly replaced by a faint smile. "And I know just how to make sure she doesn't think about it. We'll go visit Pete after breakfast in the morning, then she can help me feed and clean the horses' stalls. I'll keep her so busy that she won't have time to think about why she's not living at home."
Touched by his understanding of what Cassie needed, Becca skimmed her fingers along his cheek. "Thank you, Grady. That's exactly what will work. But I can't let you take a day away from your duties here on the ranch to baby-sit with Cassie. I'll take her to Laura's when I go to work, then bring her back with me tomorrow evening."
Grady captured her hand. "Are you sure you want to do that? We're done with the branding, so I can take a breather from the ranch. Hell, I pay Ron Perkins to manage the place for me. I can take a day off. And do you really want her at Laura's? We still don't know who your stalker is. I'd rather have her right here where I can keep an eye on her." He lifted their joined hands and ran a finger down her cheek. "You, too, for that matter."
"I have to work. I don't have a choice," she said, her face still tingling from the casual contact "But if you're sure you don't mind, I will leave her here with you tomorrow. I don't think Cassie is this stalker's target, but I don't want to take a chance and put Laura or her kids in danger."
"You trust me to take care of her?" She thought he held his breath.
"Of course I do."
"I don't know anything about kids," he warned.
She grinned at him. "Then the two of you will probably have a great time together. According to Cassie, I treat her like a baby most of the time."
His hand tightened on hers, then he let her go. "You're probably dead on your feet," he said roughly. "Get to bed, Becca. I'll see you in the morning."
He turned and headed down the hall. She watched until Grady disappeared, then turned and went into the bedroom he'd indicated. She'd seen the uncertainty in his eyes as he talked about taking care of Cassie, and the fear. But if she wasn't mistaken, she'd also seen joy. She'd also seen how quickly he'd tried to hide it
As she lay in the huge bed, looking up at the ceiling, she wondered if Grady was ever going to be able to allow himself to get past the fear to the joy. If he wasn't, there would be no hope of a future for them.
* * *
Grady sat at the kitchen table the next morning, watching the dark sky slowly begin to lighten in the east. Days started early on a ranch, but even he wasn't usually awake at this time of day.
His bed had been a torture rack, knowing that Becca slept in a room down the hall. Finally sleep had become impossible, so he'd retreated to the kitchen to compose himself. What had he gotten himself into? he asked for the hundredth time. He'd volunteered to watch Cassie all day. What was he going to do with the kid?
He ignored the anticipation. He dismissed the small voice that kept whispering that he was going to have a great time with Cassie. All he wanted to focus on was the fear. He was afraid he would screw up. He was afraid that Cassie would get hurt. He was afraid that he would do something, everything wrong, somehow make her feel less than wonderful. And that was the last thing he wanted to do.
He was still worrying about it when Ron came into the house. His friend looked at him in surprise. "What are you doing up so early?" he asked.
"Couldn't sleep. We've got some guests," he said quietly. "Doc Johnson and her daughter. They had a break-in at their house, so they're staying here for a while."
Grady was surprised at the anger that flashed over Ron's face. "Why here? There must be other places they could stay."
"Because I wanted them here," he said mildly. "Do you have a problem with that?"
"We're busy here for the next few weeks. We don't have time to entertain guests."
"Doc Johnson won't even be around during the day. She'll be at work."
"And what about the kid?"
Grady was surprised at the angry tone of Ron's voice, surprised and faintly alarmed. "What about her?"
"Who's going to watch her? We can't have some kid wandering around the place by herself. God knows what she could get into."
"As it happens, I'm going to be watching her. So she won't get into anything." Grady knew his voice was too cold, but he was shocked at Ron's attitude. He thought he knew Ron Perkins. Clearly he didn't know him as well as he'd thought.
Ron apparently knew he'd gone too far. "Fine," he said as he backed out the door. He tried to smile. "I'll tell everyone not to bother you today."
> Grady was still staring at the door when he heard footsteps on the stairs behind him. He turned around to see Cassie, completely dressed, standing on the bottom stair.
"My mom said I could go visit Pete this morning, if it's all right with you. Is it all right with you, Mr. Farrell?"
In spite of his warnings to himself to keep his distance, Grady could feel himself melting. "It's all right with me, Cassie."
The child started running for the door, and he just managed to snag her around her waist "Whoa, there, wait a minute, cowgirl. On this ranch, we eat breakfast first."
Cassie turned around, and he could see the disappointment on her face. "Okay."
"What would you like?" he asked.
"Do you have Cinnamon Toast Cracklies?" she asked eagerly.
"Yeah, I can make you cinnamon toast."
She giggled. "Not cinnamon toast, silly. Cinnamon Toast Cracklies cereal."
What was Cinnamon Toast Cracklies cereal? "I don't think so. Is that what you usually eat for breakfast?"
She shook her head. "My mom says it's too sweet. But if you had some, I could probably have it."
Grady smothered a grin and stood up. "We don't have any of that. Why don't we take a look and see what else there is? I'll bet we'll find something you like."
Cassie slipped her hand into his and nodded. "Okay." Grady stared down at their joined hands and felt his heart slipping away. And he reached out desperately to grab it back before it was too late.
* * *
Chapter 14
«^»
Grady sat on the porch of the house, his boots propped up on the railing, and listened to Cassie chatter away to his housekeeper. Mrs. Waters had fallen under Cassie's spell immediately, and right now they were baking cookies. Chocolate chip, if his nose wasn't mistaken.
He smiled to himself wondering where the kid got her energy. She'd mucked out stalls with him, taken a riding lesson and generally dogged his footsteps all day. He was beat, and she was still going strong.
How did Becca keep up with her? He felt his smile fading as he thought about Cassie's mother. She had done a great job with the kid. Cassie was friendly, comfortable with adults and completely engaging. And every time he thought about the fact that she was his daughter, his stomach jolted with panic.
Becca had said' he'd be a good father, but Becca didn't know him as well as she thought she did. He'd be a lousy father. Sure, it had been easy to spend time with Cassie today, but this had been one day. Anyone could manage one day out of a lifetime.
The door banged behind him, and Cassie appeared next to him with a plate and a huge smile. "Would you like some cookies, Mr. Farrell?"
"I'd love some cookies," he said, swinging his feet off the railing and sitting up on the swing. "Did you bake them yourself?"
He watched her struggle with herself, and she finally shook her head. "Mrs. Waters helped me. But I put in the nuts and the chocolate chips, and I took them off the metal things after they were cooked."
"That's the most important part," he assured her, biting into a cookie. "Now, that's the best cookie I've ever had."
"Really?" Her eyes lit up.
"Absolutely." And he realized it was the truth. "It must be your touch."
Cassie beamed at him, and he felt his heart twist a little inside him. "Mommy always says the same thing, but it's because she's my mom. You must be telling me the truth, because you hardly know me."
Grady felt his heart melt a little more, and tried desperately to resist it. "Are we going to save some for her?"
Cassie nodded vigorously. "My mom's always tired when she gets home from work. She says that a cookie is 'zactly what she needs to perk her up."
Grady saw a cloud of dust in the distance, and could just make out a truck turning into the entrance of the ranch. "Maybe this is your mother now," he said to her. He wasn't sure if he was happy or disappointed that his day with Cassie was almost over.
She leaned over the porch railing and stared at the truck. After a moment she turned to him and nodded. "That's her truck."
"Are you sure?"
"Yep. It's going fast, like her truck usually does."
Hiding a smile, Grady stood up as the truck got closer. "Why don't you run inside and get her some more of those cookies you made?"
Cassie raced through the door, and Grady walked out to the truck. He watched Becca slide stiffly off the seat and give the door an awkward shove to close it. As she walked toward him, his eyes narrowed.
"What's wrong?" he barked. "What happened?"
She stopped and stared at him. "What do you mean? Nothing's wrong."
"You're stiff. You're walking like you're sore. Did Sy find you again?"
"Of course not." She stopped in front of him, and her face softened. "I'm fine, Grady. One of my patients was a little rambunctious today, that's all. I was a little tired and wasn't paying attention like I should have been, so it was my own fault."
He grabbed her shoulders. "What was your own fault?"
She looked up at him, and he saw the pain and weariness in her eyes. "A horse tried to flatten me against the wall of his stall. I'm not hurt badly, just a little sore. I'll be fine tomorrow."
"Are you sure? Did you have the doctor take a look at it?"
She smiled then. "I don't need a doctor, Grady. This has happened before and it'll happen again. There's nothing wrong with me that a hot bath and a few aspirin won't cure."
Cassie exploded out of the house. "Mommy, I made cookies." She glanced at Grady and added, "Mrs. Waters helped me, and Mr. Farrell and I saved some for you. Do you want some?"
"I'd love a cookie, Cass." Reaching out, she hugged her daughter and reached for a cookie. As they walked toward the house, Cassie filled her mother in on what she had done that day. The name "Pete" played a prominent part in the conversation.
Cassie was still chattering when they reached the kitchen. "Cassie, why don't you let your mom take a bath and clean up before dinner?" he asked. "And maybe you could help me check on the horses one last time."
Cassie stopped and looked over at him. "Could I?" she asked eagerly.
"If it's okay with your mom."
"That's fine, honey." Becca smiled. "I do need a bath, so go ahead." She looked over at him. "Thanks, Grady."
"Nothing to thank me for," he said gruffly.
"I think there's plenty to thank you for," she replied, her voice quiet.
Cassie stood next to him, chattering, as he watched Becca move slowly up the stairs. When she had disappeared, he turned to the child. "Let's see what those horses have been up to, cowgirl."
By the time they returned to the house forty-five minutes later, Becca was in the kitchen, helping Mrs. Waters get dinner on the table. He scowled at her. "You were supposed to be taking it easy."
"I did. I had a bath and four aspirin. I feel much better." She didn't seem to be as stiff, he grudgingly noted. And when Mrs. Waters told them all to sit down and eat, she slipped into her chair without any obvious soreness.
A few hours later Grady sat in the living room and listened to the sounds drifting down the stairs. He'd tried not to pay attention to the domestic activity after dinner, but the sounds of Becca getting Cassie ready for bed were hard to ignore completely. They ignited a yearning in him for things he'd long ago decided he didn't want or need. He was tempted to run from the house, to seek refuge with his horses, but he forced himself to stay. He had offered Becca hospitality, and by God she'd get hospitality.
Not that there was anything special about having Becca and Cassie living in his house. He was just being neighborly, doing what anyone would have done for them. He listened to Becca walk out of Cassie's room, and he strained to hear what she said to Cassie. The door to Cassie's room squeaked as Becca eased it shut, and he held his breath, waiting to see what she'd do. He half expected her to go straight to her own room.
She'd had a long day, he told himself. And on top of the worry from the night before, she'd been flattened
against a stall wall by some jerk of a horse. He held his breath as he listened for her footsteps. When they started down the stairs, Grady fought the anticipation that welled up inside him.
Becca smiled wearily as she walked into the living room. "Thanks again for taking care of Cassie today. You made a big impression on her."
"I think it was the horses that made the impression."
She smiled as she shook her head. "I heard 'Mr. Farrell' at least as much as I heard 'Pete," she said.
"She's a nice kid, Becca."
Her smile faded. "Yes, she is. And although I am sorry that you're forced to have us living here with you, I'm not sorry that you're getting a chance to get to know her."
He scowled. "Don't make too much out of this," he warned. "It doesn't mean anything."
"I know that." A deep sadness crossed her face, then she turned away to sit down at the other end of the couch. When she looked over at him, her face was composed.
"She doesn't need a rodeo bum in her life. I'm not good for anything but the rodeo, Becca."
She studied him, her head tilted to the side. "I don't know about that," she said. "It looks like you've done a pretty good job here at the ranch."
"I've only been here for a few weeks. I haven't gotten bored yet."
"Are you sure you will get bored?"
"Hell, Becca, I don't know. I bought the ranch because it was available, and because I didn't have anything better to do. That doesn't mean that I'm going to like what I'm doing, or even be here in a few years."
"What happened, Grady? Why did you stop riding the rodeo circuit?"
Her voice was soft in the semidarkness, and he thought he heard genuine caring in her tone. He wanted to blow her off, to make a quick joke, but suddenly found that he couldn't. He wanted Becca to know what had happened.
"I got hurt. It was a freak accident," he said, staring at the cold fireplace and seeing the ring where it had happened. "Something that wouldn't happen again in a million years. But once was all it took."
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