by Lexi Post
But he didn’t trust his cousin with his daughter. “Do you want to bring her over with you?”
“No.” The reply was quick and definite. As if he realized that, he continued. “I don’t want to keep her up past her bedtime.”
“I understand.” She did. What she didn’t understand is the new tone of his voice. “We can do it another time.”
“Thanks for understanding. Bye.”
Huh? No, “I’ll call you tomorrow” or “How about this weekend”? Just “bye”? She sat on her bed, staring at the phone as if it could tell her what went on in Logan’s head. The man would drive her crazy if she kept her focus on him. Setting her phone back on the bed, she stepped into the shower.
As she dried off, her phone rang again. Did Annette come home in time after all? Grabbing up the phone, she answered. “Hello?”
“Sorry Jenna, but I think you need to come here. Snowy isn’t doing so well.”
Fudge. “Okay, I’m on my way.”
Hanging up, she quickly dressed and headed to the kitchen. Butterball, having finished his dinner, sat at the door to go outside.
“Well BB, it looks like we’re going back to work.” She opened the door to let him do his business, then walked into the kitchen. Throwing the pot of sauce into the fridge, she hoped Connie would pick up dinner for her.
Grabbing up her bag, she walked out, locked the door and headed for Whisper’s truck. She was lucky Whisper didn’t mind her using it until she could get the insurance money. She really should buy her own truck, but she doubted she could swing the payments with only her car’s value for a down payment. She’d be better off buying a used car and having no payments.
“Come, Butterball.” She slapped her hand against her thigh. Her inherited dog waddled toward her as fast as he could go, his tongue lolling out the side of his mouth. “I’ll get you some more water at the office.”
As if he understood, Butterball lapped his lips, closed his mouth and sat on the ground in front of the truck. It was far too high for him to jump, so she lifted him into the cab and hopped in after him. She’d hoped it would be a long night…but not this way.
Chapter Ten
“Dammit Trace, will you hold it still?” Logan scowled at his brother.
“If you think you can do better, then you hold it and let me pound that in.”
“Right.” He handed over the mallet, more than happy to give his sore ribs a break. By bracing his left hip against the workbench, he was able to hold the broken harness in place for Trace to complete the repair.
“Let’s test it. If it holds, we can deliver the new one to Sanders before dinner.” Trace hauled the harness off the table and they walked out to where Cyclone was tied to the corral. Except Cyclone wasn’t there.
“Damn horse.” Logan stared at another broken fence rail.
Trace pointed. “That’s going to be a problem when Tiny Dancer goes into heat next year.”
Logan looked to the south corral where they left Tiny Dancer. Cyclone was standing just outside the fence facing the petite, crooked-legged horse. Macy and the colt were in their shelter. “We’ll have to stable her at Cole’s. Cyclone won’t be happy about that either.”
“I know.”
He followed his brother to the Clydesdale. As soon as they set the harness on the horse’s back, he gave them his attention. Buckling it on, Trace walked Cyclone to the pile of lumber at the back of the barn where it was dumped by the delivery truck earlier that morning.
While his brother loaded the old wagon, he attached the harness to it. “That’s enough. The more trips Cyclone has to make, the better.” He handed the reins to Trace.
“Thanks.” His brother flicked them and Cyclone started walking.
Logan watched the two head down the dirt road toward Cole’s house. His cousin was in for a surprise if Trace made it all the way there. He had no idea the lumber for his small stable had arrived.
Logan turned away and strode into the barn to put away the tools. Trace had been the only one he’d spoken to except his daughter today. Gram stayed overnight in Prescott, which was just as well. It pissed him off that her betrayal hurt so much, but he still wouldn’t budge on his stance about Kylie. Neither would she.
She could rule her own home, but he would have the final say in his daughter’s life. That was his decision to make and his alone. But she’d been right about one thing. He had to decide what he would allow.
After a long talk with his lawyer, which he was sure cost him a month’s salary, he’d decided to agree to supervised visitation if he had to. If she asked for anything more, he’d fight her. His lawyer said the more he would allow, the easier it would be to convince the court, but that was as far as he would go.
He still couldn’t believe a court would take Charlotte from him and hand her over to a woman who abandoned her and admittedly had worked on the wrong side of the law. Unfortunately, his lawyer didn’t think those issues would be difficult for her to sway to her side because as he said, the courts were partial to the mother—child bond.
Screw that. He slammed the mallet into the cabinet and the shelf shook. Two loose shoeing nails fell onto the barn floor. Damn. Crouching down, he picked them up and returned them to the shelf. His ribs were as much a pain as his Gram’s words right now. The old woman had really burrowed under his skin and sent his mind in a hundred directions. Unfortunately, one of those directions was about Jenna.
Closing the cabinet, he ground his teeth. Gram’s attitude about him and Jenna had been pretty clear. Jenna deserved the best and if he wanted her, he needed to step up to the starting gate. That scared the bull crap out of him. A day at a time he could handle.
But Gram was right. What if after months of days at a time Jenna’s feelings changed? What if getting to know him made her not want him anymore? The last person he’d had a close relationship with was his dad and that had blown up in his face. Not only had his dad become incapacitated, but he’d lost who he was.
Logan cracked his knuckles one by one and leaned against a stall. He’d never admit it to anyone, but the man he’d admired and loved with soul-seared adulation, had turned mean, selfish, and nasty. He didn’t like the man his father became after the first stroke and the second made it worse. It was like his father was a stranger.
He’d put his dad on a pedestal and then…his heart constricted at the remembered pain. The fact was, he lost his father long before his dad died and that had colored his memory and their relationship. He hadn’t wanted to get that close to another person again and then his daughter arrived. She would change and grow into her own person forcing him to risk his heart with her. Did he dare risk it with Jenna, too?
Pushing away from the wall, Logan strode out of the barn. He didn’t want to think about any of it anymore. He needed to get some work done and keep his mind on easy tasks, not soul searching. Heading for the south corral and the new colt, he stopped at the sound of a vehicle.
Turning, he recognized Whisper’s truck. Damn, it had to be Jenna. He hadn’t called her since he bailed on their date. Did Cole call her? With little choice, he strode toward the truck.
She hopped out and came around the front, no bag in her hand. “Hi.” Her smile was friendly, so she must have forgiven him. She opened the passenger door and lifted Butterball down. “Now don’t cause any trouble this time.”
As Butterball trotted off, his significant backside swinging side to side, Logan greeted Jenna with a smile of his own. His mind was still conflicted but his heart was happy to see her. She walked right up to him, and he couldn’t resist pulling her into his arms and giving her a thorough kiss.
When he finally released her, her cheeks were flushed.
“Wow, I didn’t realize I was so missed.”
He grinned. “You were.”
She held her arms around his waist loosely, her head tipped back to meet his gaze. “I missed you too, though it turned out that had you made it to dinner last night, I would have had to bail myse
lf.”
Relief helped him relax. “Why?”
“I had a tough surgery yesterday and last night it was touch and go. Luckily, by this morning, the kitty was already meowing for food, so it looks like a full recovery is eminent.”
He let her go and stepped back. “Then I’m glad it all worked out for the best. Did Cole call you? He didn’t say anything to me.”
She cocked her head and put a hand on her hip. “No, Cole didn’t call me. I’m not here on ranch business. I’m here to see you.”
Since she’d never come to the ranch except for the horses, it surprised him. “Me? But you work in the afternoon.” Now he sounded dumb. Get your act together.
“I work all day, usually. What I don’t usually do is work all night. I had Connie reschedule most of my afternoon so I could leave early and go home for some sleep. I just thought I’d stop over here first and see how you were.”
“Why would you need to check on me? In case you haven’t noticed, I’m not a horse.” He winked. “Then again, I have been compared to one on occasion.”
Jenna rolled her eyes. “Oh please, I’ve seen what you have. Remember?”
Their evening in the hay came to mind and his body responded. “Hmm, I don’t think I do. Maybe I need to show you again.”
She laughed. It wasn’t a dainty giggle. Jenna had a full sounding laugh that made him want to hold her tight and never let her go. Maybe that was exactly what he needed to do. To hell with the day to day thing. Maybe jumping in with both his feet was what he should do. It had worked with his baby girl.
“That sounds like fun, but how about after I get some rest. I’d be worthless right now. I just stopped by because last night when you called you sounded too polite. I figured something must be bothering you, besides your Gram not getting back in time.”
He took her hand and headed for the porch. “You are very perceptive. Let me get you a drink.”
“Okay. I’ll have some ice tea.”
He stopped in front of the two chairs to the left of the door. “You relax. I’ll be right back.”
He strode inside and poured two glasses of tea. What was he thinking? One minute he didn’t want to be close to Jenna and then she shows up and he’s all in. He needed to have his head examined. Or maybe Jenna was a good influence on him. Definitely something to think about.
Picking up the glasses, he brought them out to the porch and handed her one. Moving the other chair right next to hers, he waited for her to take a sip. “Tell me about this complicated surgery you had.”
She set her glass down and shook her head. “First, you tell me what was bothering you last night.”
“That? That was just me disagreeing with Gram the night before. It put me in a bad mood. That’s a daily occurrence around here.”
She reached over and took his hand in hers. “What did you argue about?”
“Who said we argued?” At her look, he gave in. He really didn’t want to talk about it. “We just disagreed about Kylie.”
She stilled. “You mean your grandmother wanted you to marry her and you refused?”
He chuckled. “Damn, right I’d refuse. But that wasn’t Gram’s issue. In fact, she thinks you are quite a catch.”
“Really?” Jenna’s genuine surprise was refreshing.
“Yes, really.” He cupped his hand behind her neck and gave her another kiss. When they separated, he continued to hold her there so he could be sure she listened. “I don’t remember her exact words but it was something about how smart and beautiful you are.”
She pulled out of his grasp. “Now I know you’re just laying on the charm. Your grandmother might approve of my independence, but looks would never come into it.”
“You’re right. Guess it was just how I remembered it.”
“So was that what bothered you? That your Gram liked me?”
He chuckled at that. “Damn, but you’re like a dog with a bone.”
“Funny, my dad says that about me.” She lifted her glass in salute.
“He’s right.”
She finished swallowing and stared at him. Her teal green eyes were fascinating. Sometimes the blue was stronger but other times, like now, the green was stronger. Could it be a reflection of her emotions?
“Logan, you’re stalling.”
He blinked. “No, I was just distracted by you.” She opened her mouth and he spoke before she could say anything. “Gram wanted me to let Kylie in Charlotte’s life. She said Charlotte deserves to know her mother, but you met her. She’s not mother material.”
Jenna’s expression turned serious. “That may be, but your Gram is right. Charlotte does deserve to know her mother, flaws and all.”
His gut tightened at the same time his heart skipped a beat. Not her, too? Was it some kind of secret woman thing? “I don’t agree. Charlotte doesn’t need Kylie’s influence in her life. There are plenty of good role models for her right here on the farm.” And I thought you could be one of them. Don’t prove me wrong.
“And that’s why it’s important for Charlotte to know her mom. Without that, there will always be a void in her life, no matter how many women fuss over her. No one is perfect. Even Charlotte is going to disappoint you one day.”
“She won’t. She can’t. She’s my daughter.”
Jenna leaned forward, her look intense. “And Kylie is her mother. That is a special bond that shouldn’t be severed.”
It was too much. Logan stood. “Kylie broke that bond when she left my daughter on the porch of my home in the middle of the night. That she comes back over a year later wanting to be a part of Charlotte’s life again doesn’t mean a thing. There’s a good chance she’ll just up and disappear again and then what do I tell Charlotte while she’s crying from a broken heart, thinking her mother has abandoned her and doesn’t love her any more? And then what happens if Kylie returns again?”
Jenna rose as well, her gaze sympathetic but determined. “Then Charlotte will be thrilled her mom is back and if she leaves again she’ll have you to turn to. You can’t protect her from that. You don’t have the right to keep them apart. You have to let Charlotte know her mother.”
“No, I don’t. I won’t let anyone hurt her. Not even her own mother.”
“That’s not your decision to make.”
He fisted his hands to keep from lashing out. He wanted to knock over the furniture, break a window, anything to stop the hurt of betrayal from eating away at his heart. He hadn’t expected it from her, which made it harder to take. “It is my decision to make and I have made it. Now I think you should leave.”
Jenna’s eyes widened in surprise. “That’s how you will settle this? By asking me to leave?”
“If you can’t support me, then we have nothing further to talk about.”
“It’s not that I—okay.” She turned to the steps and jogged down them. “Butterball! Butterball, come.” She patted her leg as she walked toward her truck.
Part of him wanted to grab her and keep her from leaving, but his heart hurt too much to act on that. If she was going to be in his life, she’d have to support his decisions regarding Charlotte. If she couldn’t do that, it was better he found out now before they grew too close.
Butterball waddled to her and she picked him up, hugging him before setting him on the seat. Maybe that was it. Maybe Jenna was so attuned to animals that she couldn’t see what it was like to be a parent to a child.
To be fair, he hadn’t known either until Charlotte arrived on his doorstep, but whoever shared his life would need to understand the bond he had with his daughter. A bond that was more precious than anything, even his own happiness.
As Jenna backed up the truck and headed down the dirt road, he tried to ignore the burning sensation in his chest, but he knew what it was. He was watching his chance at happiness drive away.
~~*~~
Logan held his daughter in his good arm as he stood outside the south corral fence. Today was his last day to have her all to himself. The D
NA results would arrive and he wouldn’t be able to keep Kylie away any longer. His luck had run true to form.
“Horzie!” Charlotte squealed, pointing with cowboy teddy in hand at the colt as he jumped out of the shelter, shaking his head with his sudden starts and stops. “Horzie!” She pounded the teddy on his chest. “Da-da. Horzie.”
He smiled at her excitement despite his mood. “That’s right. It’s a horsey and it’s Charlotte’s horsey.”
She turned away from the corral and looked at him with wide eyes. “Horzie mine?”
Her awe was rewarding and humbling, making his eyes misty at the thought he would have to share these kinds of moments in the future. He kept his voice soft. “Yes. The horzie is Charlotte’s.”
Her green eyes sparkled with glee before she let rip an ear-piercing squeal.
He hugged her to him despite her squirming then loosened his hold. She held out both her hands toward the colt who now stood transfixed after her yell. “Horzie, mine. Want mine horzie.” She leaned precariously out over his arm and he grasped her torso to keep her from falling, wincing at the pull on his left side.
“Whoa, there. You don’t want to scare it. Shh.” Her eyes moved down, then to the right before she looked directly at him with that unseeing stare that told him her little mind was processing the information. She would be one smart young lady someday.
Finally, she pressed one of her chubby fingers to her lips and blew.
He barely contained his laugh. “Yes, we need to be quiet.”
She blew against her finger then turned with it still pressed to her mouth to look at the colt who was back to romping around.
Logan stepped closer to the fence and clicked his tongue.
The baby horse stopped and looked up.
Charlotte remained completely still.
He clicked his tongue again and the colt walked over. He held out his hand and the colt lowered his head and licked at his palm.
Charlotte remained transfixed.
He kept his voice to a whisper to signal her to be quiet. “Do you want to touch your horsey?”