“Yeah, actually he was. I’d see him about once a week. My mother was crazy about him, and I assume they were still having sex, now that I look back on that time from an adult’s perspective. He never lived with us, but he would stay over sometimes. He taught me how to play the guitar. When he died, that is the only thing of his I got. And I suspect the only reason I got it is that he happened to leave it at our house but died before he could pick it up.”
“Your mother never married?”
“No, and she was estranged from her parents. Like me, she was an only child. I think I met my grandparents once, and they died when I was in high school. Mom had her own issues with substance abuse. She worked as a waitress most of her life, and we moved around a lot. She died a few months after I turned eighteen. I already had a band, and was working at local dives. I suppose the one thing my parents taught me—stay away from drugs.”
“I’m sorry, Brady.”
“It all worked out for me. I wish my mother had lived to see my success. I would have liked to have made her life easier.”
“Was it the drugs?” Ella asked in a soft voice.
“You mean, what killed her?”
She replied with a nod.
“No, she had breast cancer. Unfortunately, she never took very good care of herself, and never went to the doctor, unless it was an absolute emergency. By the time she finally went, it was too advanced, and she went fairly quick. So, what about your family?”
“Mine?” Ella felt uncomfortable, since hers seemed like the ideal family, compared to his.
“Well, I have an older sister, Connie, the artist. We’re pretty close, I guess. But she moved to California last year with her husband, so we pretty much keep in touch with Facetime. My father was in the insurance business. Nothing too exciting, but he made a good living. Mom was a nurse. They both retired about a year ago, and have been doing the RV thing. I’m the only one in our family who still lives in our hometown.” Then she added with a laugh, “they all left home but me!’
“You said this cabin belonged to your parents once?”
“Yeah, it belonged to my family. I’ve been coming up here for as long as I can remember. When my parents retired last year, they talked of selling the cabin and I about freaked out. I just couldn’t bear the thought of losing it. I realized it wasn’t really fair to expect them to keep it, considering they’d been dreaming of traveling after they retired, and maintaining a cabin really didn’t fit neatly into the picture. So I bought it.”
“Sounds like you have a little problem with change,” he gently teased.
“Hmm, you noticed that? I pitched a total fit when my sister moved to California. Her husband got this killer job offer, and of course, they were going to move. But I do hate change. Unfortunately, the world is constantly changing, and there doesn’t seem to be anything I can do about it.”
“Do your parents know you’re up here? You think they’re worried about you?”
“I told them I was coming up. They aren’t in the habit of checking up on me when I’m at the cabin, and the phone going out is not that unusual. They’re on their way to California to spend Thanksgiving with Connie. I was invited along, but I had this book to finish. Mom didn’t understand why I couldn’t go too, since I work at home. You can write anywhere, she told me.”
“But you can’t,” Brady chuckled.
“No, I can’t. I can’t write with people around. By the way, I really appreciate the fact you don’t bug me when I’m writing.”
“Don’t bug you?” he laughed at her choice of words.
“The last time I came up here I planned to write, and Craig insisted on joining me. But when we got here, whenever I tried to get some writing done, he would wander in the room after fifteen minutes and ask me what I was writing, or if I wanted something to eat, or tell me he wanted me to play hooky from the writing and go for a walk. While I understand the concept of taking time out to smell the flowers, when it’s time to work, I need to write.”
“I completely understand. Which reminds me, I’ve been having difficulty with lyrics on a new song. Would you mind listening to it, and telling me what you think? Maybe you can offer a fresh perspective.”
“Remember, I’m not really a rock and roll person,” Ella warned, a little self-conscious.
“Please, this one really isn’t hard rock. I’d love to know what you think.”
Ella and Brady spent the next hour in the downstairs bedroom, sitting on the bed as Brady ran through the song he had been working on. Ella was surprised to discover she didn’t hate it, and was able to offer him sound advice.
When they realized it was past midnight, Ella announced it was time for her to go to bed. They both stood up, and Brady walked her to the bedroom doorway.
“I really appreciate your help. You had a great suggestion,” Brady told her, sincere in his praise. They stood silently for a moment in the doorway, Ella leaning back casually on the doorjamb, while Brady leaned against his right hand, which he propped against the wall above her head.
Ella smiled up at Brady, feeling mellow from the wine and enjoying the feeling of camaraderie she’d shared with him all evening. Something twisted in her stomach when she looked into his blue eyes and noted the intent way he was looking at her.
Before she had time to say goodnight and slip from the room, Brady leaned toward her and brushed his lips over hers, ever so lightly. When he pulled away, it was obvious by his expression the kiss surprised him as much as it did her. Immediately, he dropped his right hand to his side and stood up straight. Ella also straightened her posture, her eyes wide in surprise.
“Why did you do that?” Ella asked, sincere in her question.
“I guess,” Brady answered after a moment of silence, his voice barely a whisper, “I’ve been wanting to kiss you for sometime.” Without another word, Ella turned and dashed into the hallway, escaping to her bedroom on the second floor.
Chapter Thirteen
It wasn’t until they were sitting at the breakfast bar the next morning, side by side and eating scrambled eggs and bacon, that Ella brought up the kiss.
“Brady, about that kiss,” she began.
“It wasn’t much of a kiss,” Brady told her as he angrily chomped down on a piece of crisp bacon, jerking the bottom end from his mouth as if he were eating beef jerky, “hardly worth discussing.”
“Then I take it you won’t be kissing me again.”
“I don’t know. Do you want me to kiss you again?” Brady turned to look at her as he asked the question. He seemed annoyed and somewhat edgy.
“It probably isn’t a good idea.” Ella told him, refusing to meet his gaze.
“Probably? Why not? Didn’t you like it? I couldn’t tell. When you ran from the room, I wasn’t sure if you liked the kiss but were afraid, or hated kissing me and needed to get upstairs to wash your mouth out with Listerine.”
“It wasn’t a matter of liking the kiss, but what is the point?”
“Perhaps I should kiss you again, but this time put a little more effort into it so we can have a better discussion,” Brady snapped.
“Why are you so grouchy this morning?” Ella’s eyes filled with tears. She hoped to have a serious discussion with him, but his attitude unnerved her.
“Oh fuck,” Brady said under his breath, when he noticed tears glistening in her expressive blue-green eyes, “please don’t cry.”
“I’m not crying!” She insisted.
“Why do women always want to talk about this kind of stuff?”
“Then tell me Brady, what do you want to do?”
“For starters,” Brady turned in the barstool to face her. He grabbed hold of her right arm and forced her to face him.
“I would like to kiss you again, and then I would like to take your clothes off. The only thing I regret about that damn kiss is not doing it better, and letting you leave.”
“Brady, I’m not one of your adoring fans who’ll eagerly jump at the chance to get i
nto your bed.”
“You don’t think I know that? If you were, I wouldn’t want you.”
“Is that what this is about?” Ella asked, jerking her arm from his grasp. “Just a challenge?”
“That is not what I meant,” Brady said, angry with himself for his choice of words. Restlessly he combed his right hand through his hair and got up from the barstool. He began to pace back and forth, next to the breakfast bar.
“No, Ella, this is not about some challenge or ego conquest. I-I’m crazily attracted to you. I have been for days.”
“Brady, casual sex is not really my thing. I confess I find you attractive. I guess I’m really no different from the other women. I find you very sexy. But I’m sorry, that isn’t enough for me.”
“What are you saying?”
“Brady, when I get involved sexually with a man, it’s because we are starting a relationship. It doesn’t necessarily mean it will be forever, or that it’ll last, but it means we are both committed to trying to see where the relationship takes us. I don’t see that for us.” Ella sounded sad when she spoke the words.
“I’m not asking for a one night stand, Ella. I like you, very much.”
“I like you too, Brady,” Ella said in a soft voice. Getting off the barstool she stood before him and took one of his hands in hers.
“I’m not a fool. When the roads are clear again, you’ll head back to your life and I’ll return to mine. That will be much easier to do if we don’t complicate our friendship with sex. I’m afraid I’m not great with casual sex.”
“What I feel about you isn’t casual,” Brady insisted.
“And what happens when we go home, then what?”
“I don’t know, do we have to think about that now?” He pulled his hand from her grasp and began pacing again.
“Brady, we’ve only known each other for a little over a week.”
“Considering we’ve spent hours together, eaten every meal together, I figure that is at least twenty dates. Don’t you normally have sex by the twentieth date?”
“Only if I think there is a future in the relationship. And frankly, I can’t see beyond the snowstorm.”
Without saying another word, Ella picked up the plates from the breakfast bar and set them in the sink. Instead of washing the dishes, she went upstairs to write. Brady stood by the staircase for a moment. He heard her enter the spare bedroom upstairs and shut the door behind her.
After a moment, he turned and walked to the kitchen sink and started washing the breakfast dishes. He thought about what Ella said, and began feeling guilty over his words. It had been years since a woman had told him no. Now, he found it immensely frustrating that the one woman he desired wasn’t interested in what he had to offer. But what was he offering? He asked himself.
Brady glanced outside. By the looks of the snow, he didn’t imagine he would be leaving within the next few days. It was foolish, he told himself, to make their time uncomfortable, especially when he sincerely liked her.
He finished the dishes, then went to his bedroom and grabbed a pad of paper he’d been using earlier. Tearing several blank sheets of paper from the pad, he took them and an ink pen to the breakfast bar and sat down and began writing a letter.
When he was done, Brady reread the letter before folding it neatly in two. On one side of the blank paper he wrote “Ella.”
Making his way quickly up the stairs, he shoved the folded note under the door to the spare bedroom, knocked once on the door, and then turned and headed back downstairs.
Ella was sitting at her desk, staring blankly at the computer screen when she heard the knock at the door. Turning from the computer, she saw the note on the floor, shoved halfway under the door.
A few moments later, she stood quietly, alone in the small room, reading Brady’s words.
Dear Ella, I guess I was an ass again. It is a bad habit of mine. I’m sorry I made you uncomfortable and even sorrier for my careless words. You have been nothing but kind to me, and you don’t deserve my attitude.
I consider you a friend, and I hope you consider me one. If it wasn’t for you, I would probably be buried several feet under the snow. Yet, it isn’t just the fact you came to my rescue, opened your home to me, fed me—you have also helped me regain something of my former self.
I forgot what it felt like to be friends with someone who didn’t expect something from me, who wasn’t more charmed by my fame than the person I am inside.
Because I consider you a friend, I’ll be honest with you. I can’t remember when I’ve been so attracted to a woman—like I am with you. I’d be quite content to spend the next week in bed with you. It’s not because you’re playing hard to get. For one thing, I have long since learned you don’t play games. That is one thing I love about you.
But you are also right to question what happens next—after the snowstorm, when we return to reality. You and I lead such different lives. I’m in no position to suggest there will be something for us when we leave the mountain. But it isn’t because I don’t want you in my life. It’s because I understand how drastically your life would change if you became part of mine.
I promise to keep my hands and lips to myself for the rest of my stay with you. And I hope you will accept my apology and allow us to go back to where we were yesterday, before I kissed you.
But if you decide you would like that second kiss, it will be your call. Brady.”
A smile formed on her lips and several tears escaped and slid down her face. She wiped them away with the back of her hand.
A few minutes before noon Ella came downstairs with Sam close on her heels. On her way to take Sam outside, she popped her head in the bedroom doorway, where Brady was working on his music. She found him sitting on his bed, his attention focused on the iPad.
“Hungry?” Ella asked cheerfully.
“Is it lunchtime already?”
“Almost. I’m going to take Sam out first. How does tuna fish sound?”
“Works for me. Let me wrap this up; I’ll be just a few minutes.”
“No hurry,” Ella told him.
Thirty minutes later, Ella was sitting on the couch, taking her last bite of the tuna fish sandwich when she said, “I got an idea when I took Sam outside.”
“What’s that?” He sat on the recliner next to the couch eating the last of the potato chips on his plate. He’d wolfed down the sandwich minutes earlier.
“It’s almost Thanksgiving. When I was a kid, we used to come up here every year at this time. One thing we always did that week… we’d put lights on the small pine tree out back. I think we should decorate the tree. I saw the lights in the attic.”
“Is it safe putting lights up in the snow?” Brady asked.
“Well, we won’t plug them in until the tree is decorated and they are outdoor lights. I don’t see a problem. We used to do it every year.”
“Aren’t those lights kind of old? I’d hate to burn down your cabin.”
“No, silly,” Ella laughed. “The lights in the attic are only a couple years old. Dad replaced them several years ago. They should be fine.”
“Well, sure, I’m game. Hell, I haven’t decorated a Christmas tree in years.”
“Are you serious?”
“I’ve been living in a hotel, remember? But it sounds like fun.”
“Then let’s do it! It’s not snowing now.” Ella jumped up from the couch. “I’m going upstairs to change into some warmer clothes.”
“Okay, I’ll do the same. I’ll meet you in the garage to get our boots and gloves.”
Ella flashed Brady a smile and she raced up the stairs. Sam trotted after her. Brady leaned back in the recliner for a moment. Closing his eyes, he smiled to himself, grateful that Ella appeared to have accepted his apology and they were back to where they were the day before.
Before he could go change his clothes, Ella called down to him.
“Brady, can you help me get the stuff from the attic?”
“Oka
y, I can’t let those attic people get you!” he shouted up to her, as he sprinted up the stairs to the second floor.
In the attic, Ella knew exactly where to find the Christmas lights. The extension cords were in another box and she placed it atop the box of lights, before handing it to Brady to carry downstairs. He could barely see over the boxes.
“I usually get minions to do this kind of stuff for me,” Brady grumbled as he made his way down the stairs, careful not to trip. Ella laughed at his mock outrage. Once downstairs, he set the box in the garage before going back to his room to change clothes.
“How are we supposed to put lights on that?” Brady asked, noting the snow laden branches of the small pine tree. They stood together in the backyard. The box of lights sat in the snow nearby and Sam leapt around the backyard, leaving paw tracks in the snow.
“First we do this,” Ella explained. She stepped closer to the tree, reached in the branches with one of her gloved hands and grabbed the center of the pine tree. Giving it a vigorous shake, the snow fell from the tree’s limbs, much of it landing atop Brady. He let out a little whopping sound and jumped backwards. In his attempt to move out of the way, he tripped over Sam before landing on his buttock in the snow.
“Stop fooling around,” Ella teased. “You can make snow angels later.”
“You could have warned me you were going to do that!” Brady told her as he got up from the snow, stumbling a few times before he was able to stand erect.
“Well, gee, what fun is that?” Ella asked with a giggle.
After brushing the snow off his clothes, Brady took one strand of lights from the box. They were fairly tangled.
“I guess we should have done that part in the garage,” Ella told him, annoyed with herself for not thinking of that before coming out in the snow.
“Yeah, I haven’t hung Christmas lights since I was in high school. Now that I think about it, I believe we missed the step where we untangle the lights and check the bulbs.” Without saying another word, Brady picked up the box with the lights and cords and headed back to the garage.
While Snowbound (Sensual Romance Series) Page 10