by Gordon, Rose
“Jack, are you even listening to me?”
Jack started. “No.”
“At least you’re honest,” Colonel Lewis muttered. He removed his hat and sighed. “Why don’t you go back in there and try to explain it to her again?”
“Back in there?” He jerked his thumb toward the door behind him. “Into a buzzing beehive of anger? No, thank you. I’d rather take my chances of wandering onto the Cherokee land in search of Dark Moon at midnight again than try to reason with an angry woman. My chances of an unscathed survival would be much higher.”
The colonel chuckled. “Would you like my advice?”
Jack wanted to groan. Why did everyone want to give him advice? “Do I have a choice?”
“No.”
Jack forced a smile. “Then I’d love to hear your experienced wisdom.”
Colonel Lewis clapped him on the shoulder. “She won’t hold onto her anger forever.”
“Well, that’s a blessing I’ll be sure to count during my evening prayers tonight.”
“Be sure that you do and if you’d use my name as a reference in pointing that out to you, I’d be most appreciative.”
“Anything else?”
“Just give her time. She’ll come around.”
Jack didn’t doubt that. She couldn’t hate him forever. But, out here, it could certainly seem like forever. He sighed. He’d just have to earn her trust. There wasn’t anything else he could do.
“What do you plan to do now?” Colonel Lewis asked.
“Outrun you.”
“Why?”
“I have no desire to go to the stockade.”
Colonel Lewis pursed his lips. “Actually, it’s not me you should be outrunning. It’s General Ridgely. He wasn’t very pleased to learn about your midnight rendezvous with Dark Moon.”
Jack grimaced. “Well then, I suppose it’s best that I don’t tell you I’m on my way to rescue Gray from a possible bullet wound at the hands of one of my men.” If nothing else, at least working would take his mind off of Ella and their latest step in the wrong direction.
“Good.” Colonel Lewis gave a slight nod. “I’ll go escort the ladies to your room so they can help care for Ella if she requires something.”
“Thank you. You might wish to warn them that any mention of my name might get them gutted like a fish.”
~Chapter Twenty-One~
Ella hadn’t been out of her bed since she’d lain down yesterday morning with an upset stomach and she had less interest in getting up now than she did then. Even despite her full bladder urging her up, she couldn’t force herself to get out from under the covers. Jack’s latest betrayal stung the worst. Having her marry him to get a bigger room and out of certain responsibilities like the watchtower paled in comparison to creating some silly story about her “illness” to get himself excused from a week of work.
She covered her face with her hands. Oh, Michaela, you were right. I should have listened. But she hadn’t and now she was bound for life to a snake. Tears pricked her eyes again. She blinked to keep them at bay. There was no use in shedding one more tear over him. He wasn’t worth—
Bang! Bang! Bang!
Ella scowled. Why should he even bother to knock? He had a key and it wasn’t as if she were strong enough to keep him out.
As if to prove her point, the unmistakable sound of a key sliding into the lock filled the air, and then the lock turned.
“I thought I told you—” Her words died on her lips and her cheeks heated with color when Allison, followed by Colonel Lewis, entered the room.
“Allison is going to sit with you this afternoon,” the colonel said.
Ella frowned. “I don’t need anyone to sit with me. I’m perfectly fine.”
“That might be,” Colonel Lewis agreed, “but I cannot, in good conscience, allow you—or any woman—to be alone anywhere on the fort. Some of the men here aren’t to be trusted, and I do not speak of either of your husbands.” He flashed a quick grin at Ella, then cleared his throat. “Lucille and Mrs. Ridgely will be here with lunch in a while.”
Ella nodded numbly. It was the only response she could think of.
Allison, who Ella had read so much about but had never actually met, saw Colonel Lewis out, then came to sit on Ella’s bed. “How do you feel?”
Why did everyone keep asking her that? She’d had a small bout of a stomach virus. She hadn’t been on her deathbed. Of course, everyone must think she had been on her deathbed because Jack had to tell them something awful in order to fool the colonel into approving his request for time off. “I’m doing just fine, thank you.”
“How are things going with Jack?” Her eyes softened after a moment. “That good?”
A new round of traitorous tears formed. “I wish I hadn’t come here,” she said on a sob.
“You don’t mean that.” Allison reached inside her purse and withdrew a handkerchief. “You’re just overwrought right now. In a day or two, you’ll feel better and have a new perspective. I promise.”
“No, I don’t think I will. Coming here was a mistake of the worst kind.”
“No, it wasn’t,” Allison said firmly. “At least, I don’t think it was.”
“For you or for me?” Ella asked, not trying to be unkind, though she knew it might seem that way.
“Either.” Allison grinned.
Ella shook her head and tried to hold in her tears, but she lacked the strength. How many more times would the sweet man who’d diligently returned her letters use her? He’d withheld so much of himself in his letters and now his true nature had finally been revealed: a cold, heartless man who was using her to better his life in every way he possibly could—including using her as an excuse to get out of his everyday work in addition to the watchtower.
“Shh,” Allison crooned, wrapping Ella in a tight hug.
That made Ella want to cry even harder. The first time she’d met the one woman she’d thought could be like a sister to her, and she was a sobbing mess. Oh how she wished Michaela were here. She’d know what to do to make things right. “I—I’m s-s-sorry,” she choked.
“Don’t be sorry,” Allison soothed. “We all have our limits. When I first came here, I felt like crying, too.”
“You did?”
“Yes.” She blushed. “And after a few days, I finally did.”
“Why?”
“My coming here wasn’t intentional. I was abandoned when my stagecoach left while I was trying to buy some peppermint from that swindler who owns the sutler’s store.” She scowled. “I didn’t know anyone and I had no clothes. Wes was kind enough to offer me a temporary marriage until the man I was engaged to could come for me, but I still had no clothes and I couldn’t tolerate the food. Unfortunately, I’m a terrible seamstress and I didn’t know how to cook. Things were so much different than what I was accustomed to. Finally, I was so defeated that I started to cry and couldn’t stop.”
Ella took a shaky breath and wiped her eyes. The first night she’d been here, she’d assumed part of her tears at learning of his situation might have been because she was tired and overwrought from her travel. But now... She was well rested when more of his underhanded schemes had come to light and she was just as hurt, if not more so. On the way here, she’d felt...free and fanciful. She was on her way to meet her future husband, after all. She was on her way to finally become a bride and marry a man who wanted her. Or had he? Another wave of despair crashed over her. What had driven him to such great lengths to get her to come here? He was looking for someone—anyone—to come here, be his bride, and improve his life by doing so. Thinking about it that way, it sounded normal. Only, it wasn’t. Her presence hadn’t just improved his life by giving him a helpmate to weather the hardships of life with; every aspect of his life had been improved drastically merely by her presence.
Another round of tears welled up in her eyes as her mind went to war again in another attempt to decide what to believe. No longer caring how childish she appeared
by letting her tears flow freely, she did just that. She sobbed on her new friend’s shoulder until, at last, the well had run dry and exhaustion had overtaken her. “Why did he do this?” Ella burst out in frustration for not the first—or second—time.
Allison didn’t reply right away. Not that she could. She was supposed to be soothing Ella, but her loyalties were to Jack. Ella understood that. At last, she said, “What has he done to you?”
Ella almost laughed at her innocence. Clearly Allison hadn’t been informed of much concerning her relationship with Jack. “He’s used me. Repeatedly.”
“Some might argue that Wes used me, too.”
Ella pulled away and stared at the addled woman. “I thought you said you were abandoned here by your stagecoach driver. I don’t mean to be insensitive, but I think you were in need of someone to rescue you. I came here of my own accord.”
“Yes and yes. However, it didn’t have to be Wes who came to my rescue. I could have chosen another—but Wes was determined not to let that happen.”
“He manipulated you?” Ella said in disbelief. She’d never seen them together, but from Jack’s letters and from seeing each of them alone, she would never have guessed that anything but genuine love existed between those two. Not manipulation of any sort. Ever.
Allison frowned. “I wouldn’t say he manipulated me. That sounds very negative. He just explained the situation and made an offer that I couldn’t resist. Then before I could question him further or change my mind, he married me.” A wistful smile spread her lips. “As I said, coming here was the best thing that ever happened to me.”
“But you didn’t have a choice,” Ella persisted.
“Yes, I did. I could have married another man.”
“But you still would have gotten to choose a husband. I didn’t. I came here with the promise that I’d marry Jack.” She left it at that because she had no desire to admit the shame she’d faced at home, having no genuine suitors there, either.
Allison’s brown eyes were soft and full of compassion, almost as if she knew what Ella had tried to run from. “Yes, I would have had to marry one of them...eventually. But according to the man I was promised to at the time, Wes trapped me and took advantage of the situation.” She grinned. “Not that I minded such a fate by the time Nicholas showed up. In fact, I wished Wes had taken more advantage—” She broke off with a blush. “Enough about that, we’re not here to talk about me and Wes, but you and Jack.”
Ella stared at her. She longed for the same relationship with Jack that Allison seemed to have with Wes, only it couldn’t be. So much deceit and bitterness filled their relationship. She’d thought they’d finally made some progress this morning, then in a blink of an eye, it was all shattered.
“I’m very happy things have worked out so well between you and Wes, considering your situation, but I do not see the same fate for me.”
“Do you care to tell me why?”
“Because he keeps using me,” Ella said tonelessly.
Allison tucked a tendril of her auburn hair behind her ear. “Can you explain how he’s used you?”
“He married me as a means to improve his lifestyle.”
Allison laughed. “That’s all men, Ella.”
“I know, but it seems more calculated.”
“You mean because his circumstances improved more than most?”
“Yes.” She sighed. “In his letters, he’d led me to believe that his circumstances were already decent. Not that he’d go from sharing a cot with a man who rivaled his size to having a large room with a bed twice as big that he would share with a woman who was expected to—” her face heated— “warm it for him.”
“This isn’t anything new,” Allison said calmly. “Nor is it going to change. You cannot continue to hold onto it and throw it in his face when you two get into a disagreement. That’s not fair to him, nor is it fair to any chance at future happiness the two of you might have.” She reached over and squeezed Ella’s hand. “I’m not trying to take his side over yours and be cruel. I’m only telling you what I see from an observer’s point of view.”
Ella took a deep breath. She knew Allison had a point. But did she really wish to tell Allison of the most recent way he’d used her? The one that would brand Jack as a liar and unwilling to work. Allison already knew about the watchtower, but would she think poorly of Jack if Ella revealed the lie he’d told his superior to get approval for more time off? It was certainly a stronger argument, but did Ella really wish everyone to know such a cowardly trait about her husband? No. She might not think very highly of him at the moment, but she didn’t wish for everyone else to shame him.
“You’re right,” Ella said quietly. “I won’t bring that up again.” Not to say she wouldn’t still be upset about his latest lie, but she’d leave his former faults in the past.
“Good.” Allison bit her lip. “Is there anything I can get for you? A new chemise perhaps? Or fresh water?”
Instantly, Ella was reminded of what she’d been waiting all morning to do but hadn’t been afforded any privacy to do it. “I suppose asking you to step out for a moment might be answered with a no, but would you mind turning around for a minute? I need to use—” She broke off and gave a pointed look at the chamberpot.
“Do you need any help?”
Ella’s eyes flared wide. What a strange question! “No, I think I can manage to empty my bladder without assistance,” she said dryly.
“Yes, I’m sure you can. But would you like me to bring it to you?”
“No. Allison, truly, I am not as sick as you might think. I can make it over there.”
“Oh, I assumed Jack brought it to you.”
“Actually, no. I’m sure he would have if I’d asked, but I didn’t wish for an audience so I’ve held it.”
“Since last night?”
Ella nodded.
“How?”
“Limiting my water, thoughts of deserts and squeezing my inner muscles every time the urge hit.” She shrugged. “My mother had four daughters and told me that she’d often do that throughout the day when she didn’t have to go so she wouldn’t drip when the urge hit.”
“I’ll have to remember that,” Allison murmured.
“Oh, are you?” Ella dropped her eyes to Allison’s stomach.
“No. We’d like to wait to start a family until Wes gets moved to another post.”
Ella nodded. When she was young, her father had almost been transferred to a fort that he’d described as not suitable for small children. Meaning if he’d gone there, Ella, her sisters and mother would have had to stay with a relative while he was away. She’d wondered how officers and their wives who’d lived there prevented more children, but when she’d asked, her mother had quickly changed the subject. She imagined that Allison would know—
“Jack will take precautions when it’s time,” Allison said as if reading her mind. “I’ll let him explain to you what those are.” She straightened and clasped her hands in front of her. “Now, would you like me to help you get out of bed so you can attend your business?”
“I assure you that is not necessary.” Ella gripped the sheets and pulled them back to make it easier to get out of bed. “I promise I am not so weak that I cannot— Ouch!” She’d moved her legs and her left knee had hit that darn spider bite she’d been trying to ignore. She must have scratched it in her sleep and irritated it or something for it to hurt so much. She turned her leg to finally look at the offending thing and gasped.
“Ella? Ella what’s wrong?”
Panic filled Ella’s chest. Something was wrong, indeed, but what it was, she didn’t know. She turned her leg to show Allison. “I—I thought it was a spider bite and have been trying to ignore it so I wouldn’t scratch it. But—but—but...” Words escaped her. All she could do was stare down in horror at the huge scab that was covering a larger portion of her calf than she thought it ought to be. The edges of it looked jagged, as though it hadn’t been a full circle or oval or
in any way symmetrical. There was a ring of bright red on the skin that surrounded it.
“Ella?” Allison touched her shoulder, commanding her attention.
Ella looked up briefly, then turned back to the awful sight on her calf. “I just don’t understand how this happened.”
Allison sat down on the bed next to her. “Have you spoken to Jack at all since you woke up last night?”
Ella nodded. “We had dinner together but didn’t say much. Before bed, I asked him how he came to join the army, and this morning we didn’t speak of anything of any consequence.”
Allison gave her a strange look, and Ella tried to evade her. The truth was, Jack had seemed hesitant to speak to her following her accusation about the tub. Not that she could blame him after she’d once again started lobbing accusations at him.
“Well, Ella, it might not be my place to tell you this, and I know that I’ll leave out a few details, so you’ll have to talk to Jack, but it’s quite clear that your husband is forgetful like most men and has yet to inform you of a few things since you first got sick.”
Ella’s body went numb with anticipation of what Allison was about to tell her.
“You remember when you were first sick and missed breakfast?”
“Yes, Jack had left to go see to the horses and came back to take me to breakfast, and I didn’t feel well.”
Allison nodded. “He went to work that day and came to visit you at lunch. Do you remember that?”
Ella thought for a minute. “Yes. He brought me something to drink.”
“When he returned from work that night to see if you felt well enough to eat dinner, he said you refused some broth but drank some water, then acted a little strange before falling asleep with a mild fever. He said he wasn’t too concerned because you were still drinking whenever you were awake and had spoken to him for a while before going to sleep. Around midnight that night, he came banging on our door. Your fever had spiked and you were lashing out in your sleep. I guess, being a man, he felt better asking what I thought. When I came over, your skin was on fire. We worked to remove your gown and Jack tried to cool your forehead and chest while I took off anything that wasn’t necessary for the sake of modesty—including your stockings.