Fearing Regret

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Fearing Regret Page 7

by Barbara Speak


  "Sharing is caring! Seriously, after all the shit I have put in this man's house, I'm dying to know what half of it is for. Give me a little, just a taste of knowledge here."

  "Chad, dude, you obviously need to get creative if she's got this much interest."

  Chad looked around Kara to Ryan and said, "I satisfy her, believe me. Hell, she married me didn't she? How many girls do you throw into that shit that actually want to stick around?"

  "You would be surprised." It came out of my mouth before I even thought about it. All eyes landed on me, I thought I was going to die. Instead I stood up and started to walk away, after looking back over my shoulder and saying, "And no, I won't talk details about that one either."

  Kara was up and out of Chad's lap following me to the bar.

  "Really? What do I not know about you, nothing. I know everything about you. Then you go and pull that one out. Not much surprises me girlfriend, but you just gave my own husband a hard on. Who are you and tell Kate I don't want her back. I'm so loving this girl."

  "Shut up, dork. You know I was just teasing them."

  "Keep it up is all I'm saying. Confidence is radiating off of you and you wear it well."

  I did love how I had been feeling. Life was good and I didn't want to miss a second of it.

  "You want a drink?"

  "I need a shot. Wanting one happened about three hours ago."

  "Bring it on, woman; I'm ready for some fun!"

  Four shots were set on the bar. Crazy me for thinking one was for each of us.

  I found out quickly how wrong I was after I downed the honey wild turkey shot and grabbed the other one to carry back with me.

  "Where are you going and why are you not drinking?"

  "Are you kidding?"

  "Absolutely not. Giddy up girl, it’s going to be a long night."

  She knocked back the second one and my jaw fell open.

  "Giddy up girl? Really?"

  "Fine, cowboy up. Better?"

  "No. Who have you been hanging around and stop immediately if this is what you’re getting from it."

  "Just shut up and do the shot."

  Two seconds later a cinnamon whiskey, known as fireball, was sliding down my throat. My first reaction was to gag, being I wasn't expecting a change in liquor. Second was to savor the yummy flavor it left behind. I looked over to Kara who was just smiling away.

  "What?"

  "You are going to be trouble tonight. I can just see it now."

  "Let’s go dance!"

  I pulled her to the dance floor and we automatically started attracting attention. Kara always does because she's just so damn cute. I don't know what it was about me, but the men kept coming. One minute we were walking out there, the next we had them on all sides. Chris was once again surrounded by females. It was insane. “Timber” by Kesha and Pitbull was pumping out of the speakers and the alcohol was starting to take over. My hands went up in the air and my ass started to move like it had its own mind. None of these men were attractive to say the least, but if they could dance I was game. All of a sudden, I felt hands grab onto my hips as I continued to rock them. Then the body attached to the hands was pressing against me from behind. As long as it moved with mine, I wasn't going to object to anything. I was having a blast. Kara was now on the stage, dancing like a crazy women and I was ready to get up there with her. As I attempted to walk away, the grip became firmer. Curiosity won over and I had to see who it was. When I came into eye contact with him I about fell over.

  "What are you doing here?"

  "I could ask you the same question."

  "I came out with friends, you?"

  "I wanted to see you. You're not the easiest girl to bump into. Believe me, I have tried."

  "Really? So how did you know I was here?"

  "I didn't. This one just happened on its own, promise. So it must be fate."

  Did he really try that line? I was way too drunk to notice so I just smiled and said, "Well, I'm glad you're here."

  "Me too, can I buy you a drink?"

  "Of course you can."

  When he tried to take my hand and pull me with him off the dance floor, I planted my feet firmly.

  "I'm staying here. If you want to grab something for me that would be great."

  I turned back around and went back to dancing. This new me was fun. I liked that I didn't feel the need to fall all over Scott. Besides, I was way too drunk to care.

  Another set of hands grabbed me from behind seconds later. What is it with people coming up from behind you on a dance floor anyway? These were not the same ones as before. They were just as masculine but softer in a sense, Chris! I spun around, getting dizzy in the process, when I found another man standing there that almost knocked me to my knees.

  "Don't go falling down on me now; I'd hate to have you hurt yourself before I even get your name."

  I had grabbed a hold of his arms so that I wouldn't fall, but he remained firm in his stance. It was as if the whole room was spinning but he remained still. I couldn't speak. I just tried to not look like an idiot. When he noticed the lack of response, his face lit up.

  "Too shy to speak and clumsy? Come on now, you can tell me."

  Just as I was about to tell him, because honestly I would have told him anything he wanted to know, we were interrupted.

  "Excuse me. Kate, here is your drink."

  It didn't register to me that Scott had even spoken. The man in front of me was more attractive than any human being on the earth and he was talking to me.

  "So your name is Kate, pretty and fitting."

  "If you don't mind." Scott was looking straight at the focus of my attention and then turned to me, "Kate honey, did you want this? You were thirsty remember?"

  I hated myself for letting my eyes wander away from the man whose name I never got. When Scott held the drink out in front of me, I had no choice, I took it and said thank you as he led me away by the small of my back.

  Walking to the bar, I shifted to get him to let me go. I wasn't happy with what had just happened, but my conscience kicked in. Poor Scott had done nothing wrong. He had been sweet, offered to get a drink for me and then I was ready to just toss him aside. On top of it, he works for my dad. So, I decided to play nice.

  "Scott, thank you for the drink, it was very kind of you and I'm so thirsty like you said."

  I took a sip and realized it was water. It felt good going down, but Kara would kick my ass if she knew I was slowing my buzz. I stole a few more drinks and then set it down on the bar. I started to wave the bartender over so I could order a couple shots for my friends when Scott pulled my arm down.

  "What are you doing?"

  "They will come in good time, when it's your turn. Waving at them just makes you look too drunk to deserve another one to begin with."

  "I guess you’re right but don't do that again. I barely know you. If you think something needs to be changed, you ask me or talk to me. You don't pull my arm down or remove me from a situation, understand?"

  "What can I get you to drink?" he was saved by the bartender, who had walked up and rested his elbows down on the bar, waiting for an answer.

  "I need five shots of Patron, or is it six? Scott, do you want a shot?

  "No, thank you."

  "Then five it is."

  I wanted so badly to scout the whole bar and find the mysterious man, but Scott was keeping a tight leash on me. When the bartender came back, I paid him, grabbed the tray and walked back over to the table that held all of my friends.

  "Way to bring it, Kate. Are you working here now?"

  "No Chris, but I will always be at your service."

  Everyone grabbed their glass, held it up to cheers and slammed it back. Lemons had never tasted so good. I walked over and sat in Ryan's lap, then noticed Scott walking away. Guilt hit me again. Why was I being such a bitch tonight? I really wasn't thinking about Ryan in that way. I just wanted to sit, there were no chairs and Ryan’s lap is always where I end
up. Too drunk to do what I should have, I stayed right where I landed. Ryan wrapped his arms around me and I laid my head back to rest on his shoulder. I closed my eyes to try to control the spins I was getting when I felt my hair being moved to the side and heard a soft whisper like voice come from Ryan.

  "You doing okay there, pretty girl?"

  "Uh huh."

  "You need anything, you let me know, okay? But just a little word of advice, you might want to open your eyes and sit up, or you will probably get sick."

  "Kate, get your ass up and dance with me. It is not time to pass out yet, let’s go."

  Kara was grabbing my hands and pulling me up and out of my comfort spot before I could make a choice. When I came to stand, I really felt ill. I covered my mouth and started to run for the bathroom. I had to go to the back of the bar and wasn't sure I was going to make it. Kara was right behind me screaming, "Oh shit, oh shit. Get out of the way she's going to get sick."

  As if this wasn't embarrassing enough, she was shouting it from the roof top. I wasn't even paying attention when I tripped over something and went crashing to the ground. Strong hands lifted me up like I weighed nothing and set me down on my feet. That's when I started to throw up in my mouth and ran straight to the bathroom. There is nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing, worse than leaning over a toilet that has been used by millions. The thought alone triggered its own strain of vomit. I refused to touch anything, so I hovered over the basin and held onto my knees. Kara was there in seconds, holding my hair back for me.

  "Aw, sweet pea, you need to get out more. This was nothing and you're already sick."

  Never did I want to slap her more than in that moment. I couldn't stop throwing up. I was violently ill. Something didn't feel right and then I was out.

  CHAPTER 8

  I could hear her screaming, "Somebody, help us" but it wasn't clicking in my head that I was a part of "us".

  "Somebody!"

  That one hurt. Why did she have to be so loud?

  "Kara, shut up. What happened? I can go get help. They apparently can't hear you."

  "Kate! Oh my God, you just went down. Like, hit the ground like a sack of potatoes kind of down. Is your head okay? You nailed it on the toilet."

  She was crouched down over me, searching my face while her eyes were moving back and forth like a crazy person, when what she said clicked.

  "Get me off of this floor now! Yuck, yuck, yuck! I was lying on a stall floor, eewwwwee! Do you know how much pee hits this floor from those that hover, yuck!"

  "Well, that answers my question. If you’re worried about where you landed then you’re still the same Kate."

  She pulled me up as she said it and I came to stand next to her. My head hurt like hell. The world started to spin again but I apparently had thrown up all the contents in my stomach already.

  "Wow, are you going to get sick again?"

  "No, but I don't feel so good."

  "Let’s get you out of here. You scared me to death you know. Don't do that again, ever. Come on, girly." She paused and then said, "Oh and it’s too bad you're going to have to pass that fucking hottie outside the door again."

  I walked over to the sink, washed my face off and rinsed my mouth out a million times before asking her, "What are you talking about?"

  "The guy who picked you up when you fell. Did you not see him? Gorgeous!"

  “So, to add to this unbelievably fucked up night, you're telling me that I can now add that I made an ass out of myself in front of a ‘gorgeous’ as you put it man? Wonderful."

  "Oh you just wait and see for yourself. He is fine with a capital S."

  "That doesn't even make any sense. A capital S?"

  "For Sex God! Come out a little more often Kate. You are so behind."

  "I don't even want to know what you're trying to explain to me, I just want to go home."

  "Then let’s round up the boys and call it a night. This was supposed to be your night to celebrate anyway."

  "So much for that, huh."

  "I don't know. If you can talk that guy into forgiving you for your clumsiness he might make it all worth it."

  Something about her saying clumsy triggered a memory.

  "Wait! Did he have short light brown hair, eyes that you can't look away from, about six foot and built like a brick shit house? Come on, did he?"

  "Calm down. Yes, why?" She looked at me and then, "Shut up! Do you know him already?"

  I was not going out there. There is no way! I made a total ass out of myself, again!

  "Answer me. How do you know him? Seriously Kate, do not leave me in the dark here."

  "No, I don't know him. I just saw him for the first time tonight."

  "Well damn girl, you really saw him. You literally just described him to a tee."

  "As if you couldn't."

  "You got me there. Holy shit he's hot."

  "I'm not going back out there, ever. Not until I know he's gone. Go look."

  "Are you serious?"

  I just looked at her and she knew I was not changing my mind.

  "Fine, but you're being so ridiculous."

  "Whatever, my reasons are my reasons. Now go."

  She looked back at me one more time before heading out the door. I ducked back into a stall, so I couldn't be seen by anyone standing outside of the door and then waited, and waited and waited.

  Why is it that everything takes so damn long when you have nothing to do but wait?

  Finally, she came back in.

  "What took you so long?"

  "I had to look all over the whole bar for him, just so you know, and no he's not here anymore."

  "Then get out of my way. I can't stay in this bathroom one more second."

  I started to open the door but then turned back around and grabbed her into a hug.

  "Thank you for always being here for me and I'm sorry I just snapped at you."

  "Aw, you're okay. You have been through so much lately. I will always be your punching bag when you need one."

  My eyes welled up with tears but I pushed them back down. I wasn't going to be a sappy, crying drunk on top of one that pukes. I pulled back out of her arms and said, "Come on, let’s get out of here."

  "Right behind you, woman."

  Kara and I walked back out into the music thumping, people dancing atmosphere. I still felt awful and was ready to go when Scott came up to me.

  "Are you okay? Let me take you home, you don't look so good."

  Kara was right behind me and said, "Thanks, but we will take care of her." She pushed me forward, past Scott and over to the table where all of our friends were sitting. Even Reed was here finally and now I wanted to leave.

  "Reed! How are you?"

  I was still drunk as hell and feeling terrible, it must have showed.

  "Well hey girl, what happened to you?"

  "She got really sick in the bathroom just now. Chad we need to take her home."

  "That's fine; I’ll go get the car."

  "Chad, don't worry about it, I got her."

  Ryan stood from the chair he was sitting in and walked around to stand next to me.

  "You okay Kate? Let’s get you home, pretty girl."

  He ran his hand up my back and then went to rub my neck, as he told everyone else that he had it covered. Only when he pulled his hand out suddenly, there was blood on it.

  "Holy shit!" came out of everyone's mouth in unison. Being that we had three doctors of medicine with us, chiropractic or not, all of them were behind me, lifting my hair and finding the source.

  "Got it."

  It was Chris that I heard first. Then Chad started digging through my hair.

  "Damn, that is putting out some blood. It’s too hard to tell how big the gash is though."

  "Get out of the way, Chad! Kate, honey, how the hell did you not know this was here? Kara, what happened?"

  Ryan was panicking and it sure wasn't helping my nerves.

  "She was standing in the stall throwi
ng up. You know Kate would never touch a toilet, and then she just dropped. I freaked out, but then she came to and she seemed fine, really. Guys, quit looking at me like that! I didn't know!"

  "Kate, you're going to need some stitches. Let’s get you to the hospital okay. You’re bleeding harder because of the alcohol, it thins the blood. I don't know why I'm saying this, I already know you know. Kate, are you okay?"

  So much was going on and I was still so messed up. When Chad came in front of me, he grabbed my face and looked into my eyes.

  "Her pupils are huge. Look at this, guys."

  Both Chris and Ryan were in my face in less than a second.

  "What the fuck! Kate, did you let your drink sit or walk away from it?"

  I couldn't understand why they were asking me such a strange question.

  "No. I drank shots all night, other than the drink Chad got me and the water Scott got me. I'm not stupid, I'm drunk."

  "Who the fuck is Scott?"

  "Ryan calm down, you’re not helping!"

  "Shut up, Chris. Someone drugged her and you want me to calm down, fuck you."

  Drugged me?

  "Drugged me? Who drugged me? What are you guys talking about? I'm not drugged, I'm drunk."

  "Yes, that too. Let’s get you to the hospital, get you stitched up and run a blood panel. Are you sure Jarrett wasn't here?"

  "Yes Ryan, I am positive. I never saw him."

  Kara walked over and grabbed my arm, "Let's go. Standing here arguing isn't helping anything. Chad, honey, I need help."

  She was grabbing all of our stuff, while I stayed put with a rag on the back of my head, brought over by Chad and held by Ryan. What a cluster of bullshit.

  We walked together out the door and to the cars. I was still so drunk and yet all of my friends seemed to be sober, like they never drank a drop.

  "I will call you guys and let you know how it goes, all right?"

  "The hell you will, Ryan. She's not yours to take care of. She's my best friend and she's coming with us."

  "Fine, I will ride with you guys, but I'm not letting her out of my sight."

  "Will you all just get her in the car and let’s go."

  Chad was already behind the wheel and apparently growing impatient. Chris jumped in the front seat while Ryan and Kara sat on either side of me in the back. Why all of them felt the need to come was beyond me. But I thank God every day for giving me the best friends that I could ask for.

 

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