Fearing Regret

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Fearing Regret Page 12

by Barbara Speak


  "I thought it was great. Seeing your face when you realized he was standing next to Ash was priceless! I should have got it on video and replayed it for you. Chad noticed it was him when the guys came out, that's when Reed went insane. Chris had to shut him up, because all he talked about was you getting laid tonight and us taking bets."

  "No way! You guys didn't, did you?"

  "No, come on now. Ryan was right there staying quiet during the whole thing. I have some respect you know."

  "I have to talk to him. Ryan means so much to me and...."

  "Picture time! I need everyone from the wedding party back inside please."

  The wedding planner interrupted me, never letting me finish what I was saying or needing to do. When I looked again over my shoulder for Ryan, he was already gone.

  "I guess I have to go back in. What the hell am I going to do?"

  "Go have fun and enjoy the day. It’s not about him. Your brother just got married. Don't let that gorgeous man make you forget what's important."

  "Did you really have to put it that way?"

  "Sure did, now go. I will see you at the reception. Love you, girl."

  "Wish me luck!"

  "You're going to need a ton of it."

  I shot her one last dirty look, stuck out my tongue and then turned back to go inside.

  We all walked into the church, me being one of the first to enter. I could feel Tony staring at me as I approached the altar, but I never did turn and look back at him. I couldn't.

  The photographer placed us in fifty different poses, but eventually got what he needed and then we were released and on our way out the door. I don't know how, but I felt that Tony was near me before he ever touched my arm.

  "Kate, can I talk to you for a minute?"

  I stopped walking and turned, coming face to face with him. My God was he gorgeous. Standing that close to him sent chills through me. I had no idea what set him apart from any man I had ever met before, but he stood alone.

  "What's up?"

  "I wanted to say... shit, I don't really know what to say. Somehow we started out wrong I guess."

  "I wouldn't say wrong."

  "What would you say? Not once have we been able to just talk. I want to get to know a little about you, is that possible?"

  "Sure, we have all night and the fact that you are one of Sadie's best friends, I don't see a point where we aren't going to be around each other."

  "You make it sound like a bad thing."

  "I'm not sure what kind of thing it will be honestly."

  "Well, let me show you just how good it can be."

  "If you're up for it."

  "I'll take you up on that."

  "Kate!"

  I turned when I heard my name and found myself looking at Heather and Jason, as they walked up to us.

  "I hear you two have met before." Heather was ready to keep going when Jason cut her off.

  "I didn't say met officially but I've heard about her, too much for my taste."

  "Jason, shut up!" Tony snapped.

  I put my hand up, letting him know I wasn't letting this one go.

  "No, no, let him talk. I want to hear. What has Tony told you?"

  Jason took one look at Tony and immediately changed his mind.

  "Oh, hell no. My brother looks like he's going to kill me if I say anything else."

  I spun around to Tony.

  "Your brother?"

  He looked so embarrassed which was kind of cute. I remember the other guy being his brother but not Jason.

  "Yes, this little punk is my brother. The other guy with us that night was Mike. I have two brothers."

  "Wait, now it's all making sense. Mike Harrison is your brother? Ash told me all about him."

  "Imagine that, another fan girl."

  "I wouldn't say that Jason. I'm not a fan of MMA, thank you very much."

  "No shit! Tony you may have a keeper after all." Jason was smiling from ear to ear at Tony.

  "A keeper?"

  I couldn't help the smirk that came with that one. He looked so uncomfortable that I basked in the glory that it wasn't me for once.

  "Heather, Jason, don't you have somewhere to be?"

  "No, not really. This is getting good." I was with Heather. I couldn’t wait to hear what was coming next.

  "Heather, let’s go. I think we have overstayed our welcome here."

  "Jason, let me go!"

  He pulled her by the arm until they were out the door.

  "Bye you guys!"

  Laughing, I turned back to look at Tony who was standing there, still with the looks that matched the perfection he wore so effortlessly. His shoulders were back, head held high, and his eyes just melted me.

  "So anyway, will you give me tonight? I want it. I want more than anything to show you how I can make you feel."

  If only he knew where my mind went with that comment, I’m pretty sure I would be feeling mighty good under him, but that is certainly not what I said. I don’t even know where these thoughts were coming from lately.

  "Make me feel, huh? You can have tonight. I will give you one chance to show me your best."

  "That is exactly what I want. You have no idea what you are in for, woman."

  "I will just have to see then won't I?"

  I turned and walked to my car, wanting so bad to see his reaction, but refusing to turn around. I got in my car and drove away, wanting to piss myself for staying so strong. Damn that man could rock my core. What was it about him and why was I scared shitless about tonight?

  When I arrived at the reception hall, my stomach about dropped out. All the pep talks I had given myself went out the door as I walked in to see Tony standing there, waiting for me.

  "Could you get any more beautiful?"

  "Hello to you, too."

  He walked up to me, took my face in his hands and lightly kissed my forehead. Pulling back, he looked down at my mouth and sucked in a breath that made me want nothing more than for him to follow through with his thoughts. I wanted that kiss like I have never wanted anything. When he pulled back, he looked into my eyes and said, "We should probably meet up with everybody and get this party going."

  It took me a couple a seconds to realize he really wasn't going to kiss me. Bummed to say the least, I allowed him to take my hand and lead me toward a side room where Asher and Sadie where waiting. As we walked through the door, he dropped my hand, walked over to Sadie, grabbed her belly and kissed her cheek.

  "How’s the little momma hanging in there? I'm so happy for you, by the way."

  She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him into a tight hug.

  "Thank you for always being you. You mean everything to me."

  "Hey, what about me?"

  We all laughed as she left Tony and fell into the welcoming arms of my brother. "Break it up. Don't you know by now that's how you got her that way to begin with?" Heather slapped Jason's arm, I'm sure due to his comment as they walked in, making Ash let her go and all of us laughed even harder.

  "Are you guys ready to have some fun?" Sadie looked so excited.

  "We are. Are you ready to do this and not be able to drink?"

  "I don't always need to drink to have fun! This is the best day of my life. Let’s see if you, my chicka, can do it sober."

  "Not a chance. I'm getting drunk as hell."

  "Don't make me carry you out of here,” Jason said.

  "Oh honey, that's always been my plan."

  Heather cracked me up. Her and Jason reminded me so much of Kara and Chad.

  The wedding planner came in and told us we needed to get ready for our grand entrance. Ash started making faces behind her back, causing Sadie to belt out a laugh. When the planner spun around, her face screamed mean junior high principal. One look from her and we were lined up, Heather was with Kaleb and I was once again with Tony. All of us were obviously stifling giggles. I couldn't help but wonder, “Why didn't I get put with Kaleb”? I've known him forever and it wou
ld have made more sense. Whatever the reason, I was thanking fate for sure.

  Tony looked over at me and said, "Are you ready for the best night of your life to start?"

  "That's a tall order for you to take on. Are you sure you're up to it?"

  "It’s going to be my pleasure."

  The doors opened and he slid his arm through mine. One by one, we were announced and everyone stood to cheer as Sadie and Ash came in. The wedding party took our seats at the head table facing everyone. I spotted Kara immediately. She and Chad shared a table with the rest of my friends, but there was one face I didn't recognize, and it came from a girl sitting next to Ryan. I needed to be happy for him, that he moved on from the idea of there ever being an US, but something in me felt sad that I never really gave it a fair chance. Here I was sitting next to what I felt like was the most attractive man on the planet and now all I could think about was Ryan.

  "What's got your thoughts?"

  "Huh, what?" I glanced over and Tony was now leaning into me, asking me what I was thinking. No way could I be honest with him.

  "Oh, nothing in particular. I'm just so happy this day is here."

  "Bullshit, but I will let that one slide because it’s the first and you didn't know better. Don't ever lie to me, okay? I want the truth, even if it hurts." And then he was back to sitting upright and looking out into the crowd as well.

  “Well that was awkward,” I thought to myself.

  How bossy of him and how stupid of me? I have one chance to impress this guy and I start it off lying to him. I looked once again out to my friends, but none of them were looking back at me. They all were laughing and having fun, including the tall brunette that was apparently Ryan's date.

  Food was served and after that was the father daughter dance. Watching Sadie and her dad together, the tears in both of their eyes, it melted my heart, but I kept glancing back and forth from them to Ryan.

  Ash then grabbed our mom and pulled her out for their dance together. This one I couldn't pull my eyes away from. Our mom looked so small compared to Ash's size. I remember being a child and thinking I hope one day I will be as tall as my mom, as pretty as her; I wanted to be just like her in every way. Now I can only imagine what it would be like to be in her shoes. Having her baby boy turn into a grown man and know he was forever going to be someone else's. The tears flowed heavy from my eyes without me giving any effort to wipe them away.

  "Hey there, those better be happy tears or my work is really going to be cut out for me."

  Tony snapped me out of my thoughts by standing from his chair, walking over and then taking my hand.

  "Where are we going?"

  "Well, I would love to tell you I have this great romantic getaway planned so that I could get to know you better but honestly, it’s our turn to dance. This time you can't refuse me."

  I looked around and sure enough, Sadie and Ash were finishing up their dance to “When a Man Loves a Woman”. Kaleb and Heather were heading out onto the dance floor so I let Tony lead me out as well. It was time to leave all of my fears behind and have some fun. If I lived to regret this night, I was okay with that. Live being the operative word. I was ready to live.

  Slowly, he wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me in close. I could feel his breath on my neck as I also heard him take one in deeply. Uncomfortable with how much I wanted him to kiss me right then, I had to make a joke to lighten the mood.

  "Did you just sniff me?"

  He leaned back laughing and said, "I guess I did and you caught me."

  "Is there a reason you did it or do you go around sniffing girls on a regular basis?"

  "Not one woman has ever smelled or felt as good as you do right now. So I wouldn't go worrying about other girls."

  "Oh I'm not worried about anything. I have nothing to prove. You on the other hand have so much..."

  "You should be worried, Kate. I haven't been this attracted to a woman in a very long time. If you think tonight is a one time deal you're very wrong."

  Holy shit! Did he really just say that?

  The music kicked in and everyone started leaving their tables to come out and join us on the dance floor. Instantly, we were surrounded by Chris and Reed, and Kara and Chad. Ryan and his date were on their way slowly to the bar.

  "So, are you going to introduce us?"

  Reed cracked me up. He was so forward while Chris stood quiet, just taking it all in as he always does next to him. Tony stayed exactly where he was: close. God did it feel good. I was the one who was forced to break apart from him and say, "Tony these are my friends, Reed and Chris."

  "It’s nice to finally meet you Tony."

  "Likewise."

  "What's up, hot stuff?"

  Leave it to Kara to take the formality out of it. She was stumbling already.

  "Not much at all, little one. At least somebody here is having some fun."

  "Please ignore my wife; she's been slamming drinks ever since we left the wedding. I'm Chad, by the way."

  "It's nice to meet you, I'm Tony. Don't give her too hard of a time, she kind of reminds me of Sadie, prior to the baby and all."

  "See, he gets me. Do you guys want to go get a shot? It’s time to have some fun, let’s show them how it's done!"

  "Wow Chad, what did you do to her?"

  "What did I do to her? She's your best friend. You know there is no stopping her when she gets like this."

  "I think she's right, let’s go get a drink."

  I turned to Tony and said, "You don't have to come with us. I know you have your own friends here."

  He leaned in close to me and whispered, "What part of me not letting you go tonight didn't you understand?"

  My panties were soaked. God, what this man could do to me with just words.

  "I guess shots it is."

  We all walked over to the bar where we met up with Heather and Jason.

  "Who wants what? I'm buying."

  Heather rolled her eyes at Jason and then introduced herself to all of my friends. That was when I discovered Ryan's dates name was Alexis. She was pretty, very pretty and nice as well. I introduced myself, being that Ryan was just standing there staring hard at Tony. I couldn't have been more grateful that Tony didn't notice and was busy talking to his brother and Heather. I pulled myself away from him and walked over to Ryan.

  "What's wrong?"

  He looked at me like I had five eyes and said, "I guess that's him?"

  "Him who?"

  "Don't do this Kate. I get it, really I do. It doesn't make it any easier."

  "I’m not trying to do anything. It’s my brother’s wedding and I just want to have fun. You're here with Alexis anyway, why would it matter?"

  "I guess it doesn't."

  I wanted to feel bad for him but he was acting like a jerk. I didn't even respond, I just turned and walked back to Kara and Chad. Tony must have noticed my mood change, because he all of a sudden was in front of me saying, "Everything okay?"

  "It is now," I said, and it was. Somehow just being around him made it all better.

  A smile spread across his face as he leaned in, so close that our lips practically were touching and said, "I like the sound of that."

  He took my hand and led me over to where Kara and Heather were already ordering. We all grabbed our shots of tequila and made a toast in the honor of the bride and groom.

  Several shots later, we were all dancing and having a blast. The two groups became one and we were having so much fun together. Sadie looked exhausted, as though she was ready to call it a night. My brother never left her side and anything she wanted she got, as it should be. Ryan didn’t speak to me for the rest of the night but had no problem talking to everyone else. There was nothing more I could do to rectify what was happening between us.

  Alexis blended right in with Heather, Kara and me. She really was a sweet girl. Hopefully things could work out for the two of them. Somehow finding Tony today was easing my worry over Ryan.

  Tony w
as as sexy as they come and I was so ready to try him out for myself. Just the way he danced, how his hands took such a soft but yet firm hold on my body as he allowed his to rub against me. I was getting lost in him, his touch, smell and voice. Everything that he was screamed sexy to me.

  "You really are as sexy as I dreamed."

  "What did you say?"

  I couldn't believe I let that slip out. The alcohol had set in and I knew I was in trouble.

  "Well, what do you expect? You are unbelievably gorgeous."

  "Really? Huh, I'm glad you think so. I was starting to wonder if I was the only one feeling this."

  "Feeling what?" I spun around and looked him in the eye, stumbling a bit myself, but making sure I was putting him on the spot.

  "This," and then his lips touched mine. He was so soft with each pull to my bottom lip. Then he took my top into his mouth. I let him have full control, too shocked to do much of anything. I thought I was going to have an orgasm right there on the dance floor, and then it was over.

  He leaned forward pressing his forehead to mine and said, "God I want you so badly."

  "You do, huh? Well what are you going to do about that?"

  "Let’s go."

  "We can't, it’s my brother's wedding."

  "Sadie is my best friend, but there is absolutely no way I'm not taking you home with me, right now."

  I was about to argue with him again when he grabbed my face and began kissing me again. Something in his kiss made all other things seem irrelevant. I wanted more of him, of this night. I wasn't ready to let it end either. His hands left my face and traveled down my arms until he took both my hands in his and squeezed twice. I think I would have offered up my firstborn to continue that feeling.

  Unfortunately, we were cut short when Kara interrupted and said, "I hate to break this up but everyone is leaving and Kate, your mom is looking for you."

  I turned back to look at the room and it was empty. Somehow I lost track of time, of my surroundings and only focused on the one thing I that I wanted more of.

  Tony looked at me and said, "Don't you worry, I'm not going anywhere without you."

  "You could come with me."

  "No, you go ahead. I'm going to find Sadie and my brother. I will meet up with you later, I promise."

 

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