I followed him to the spare room where he showed me the bathroom that was also attached. I took a shower, brushed my teeth, wrapped a towel around me and went into the room, only to find Ryan sitting on the bed.
"Still looking damn good in a towel."
"I thought you were spoken for and here you are hitting on me."
"No ma’am I just waited for you so I could say goodnight."
"Aw Ryan, that's so sweet." I dragged out the word sweet to tease him.
"Fine, go to bed."
He got up and walked to the door but turned around once he got there.
"For what it's worth, I'm really glad you came out. It's so good to finally see you again and I love you pretty girl, goodnight."
He turned, walked out the door, closing it behind him.
"I love you, too."
I said it to myself but I know that he knows how I feel. I turned and looked at the bed, knowing as soon as I laid my head down, the day would be over. I just didn't know then that I would never get that day back.
CHAPTER 24
The next morning Ryan woke me up by jumping on my bed screaming,"Rise and shine, pretty girl!"
I rolled over onto my side, attempting to get away from him.
"Oh no you don't. Get up! We have stuff to do."
"What stuff do we have to do this early?"
"Early? I let you sleep until ten. Now get up!"
He slapped my ass as he rolled off the bed and grabbed my arm, pulling me from it and onto the floor. Of course I didn't think he would actually let me fall, but I was wrong.
"I can't believe you just did that!"
"Believe it, woman. Come on! I've been up for hours trying to be nice and let you sleep in. I'm done waiting."
"All right! Get out so I can get some clothes on."
"I've seen it all before, sweet cheeks. But hurry up, I've got breakfast waiting."
With the mention of food, I was on my feet whether he was still in the room or not and running to brush my teeth. I threw on my swimming suit, some jean cutoffs, a plaid button down shirt and was in the kitchen in no time.
"Someone hungry?"
"Starving is more like it."
"Good, I made a ton. We have pancakes, French toast, bacon, sausage, eggs, you name it."
"Why did you make so much?"
"I had a lot of time, remember?"
He brought me a plate, piled high, but let me tell you, I had no problem licking it clean. Stuffed and ready to go back to bed, Ryan yanked me from my chair and said, "No way! The car is already loaded. I will clean the dishes when we get back. Let’s get this day going! I'm so excited to show you the beach where I grew up."
He was so cute, like a little kid almost. Well, a very big little kid. I couldn't tell him no, even if I wanted to. One look at that face and I was willing to go and do whatever.
On the way to the beach, we had the windows down and it felt so good to not have to think about Tony. I could live in the moment, which is what Ryan always brought out in me. I couldn't help but stare at him as the wind blew his hair into the craziest directions. Even with that, he was perfect in every way. I could kick myself for letting him go that night or I could be happy that by making the choice I did, he found his own happiness. It was a no brainer. The way he talked about her, I could just see how happy he was. The thought made me remember being that happy once as well.
I pulled my phone out to call my parents and let them know I was okay, considering I failed to inform them I was even leaving. I'm sure my mother was pacing the floor if she had talked to Ash already. I had turned it off on the flight and once I saw Ryan, I never thought about it again.
Powering it back up, Ryan asked, "Who are you so eager to call?"
"My parents. I forgot to tell them I was coming here."
"You're going to be in trouble!"
"Not funny. I'm an adult; they can't ground me or anything like..."
"What's wrong?"
Once the screen became live, I had one new notification and you can guess who it was from.
"Tony called me."
I didn't know what to do. There was no way I was calling him back. At least he didn't. (Ding) And there came the voicemail, shit!
"Are you going to listen to it, because you could always put it on speaker. That is, if you want to. I don't want to pressure you or anything."
"Oh, shut up. You want to hear it."
"You bet your ass I do."
We had pulled into the parking lot when Ryan turned off the truck and then looked at me waiting. I sat there with the phone in my hand, contemplating if I could even hear his voice without breaking down.
"I can't."
"Yes you can. You're stronger than this, Kate. Remember, they are just words. Besides, you might just get your answer."
I closed my eyes and hit the playback button. I had already turned on the speaker, so when his voice started, I grabbed blindly for Ryan's hand. I felt him take it, squeezing it just enough that I knew he was there for me no matter what.
"Kate, uh, it's me. I fucking hate that I have to leave this on a message, but if you would have just given me one chance to explain... no, I take that back. It sounds like I'm blaming you and there is no part of any of this that is your fault. I lied to you. After all of the times I told you how much I hated liars, I told the biggest one of all when I......" BEEEEEP
"Are you kidding me?!?!!? That's all I get?"
"Did he leave another one?"
I checked and, "No!
"Damn, that sucks, but I told you! He lied! There is more to this and you should call..."
I got out of the truck before he could finish. I wasn't calling him. How dare he give me so much shit for lying when he told the very one that broke us.
"Kate, wait up."
I didn't even realize I had been walking away. I stopped, turned around and went back to meet up with him.
"I can't. Don't you get it?"
"I do and I'm sorry I even said that. Please don't let this ruin the whole day."
He grabbed the blankets and a basket of food from the back of his truck, while I went back in the cab for my purse.
"You don't need that. There is going to be sand everywhere."
"I'm okay. I need to bring my phone to call my parents anyway. It's safer inside here than by itself."
I tucked it in a side pocket and zipped it up.
"I'm ready to forget that I even got that call and have some fun. Let's go surfing."
"Yeah right you're ready. You have no idea what you're in for girly, but with me as your coach, you will be surfing by the time you have to go home"
"I will be surfing by the end of the day, just watch me."
"Haha, let's just see."
We were walking as we talked. I had been so interested in all that Ryan had been telling me about growing up here, that I didn’t know how far we had walked until I turned. That’s when I realized just how close we were getting. I could see the ocean and God was it beautiful. Buildings were on either side of us, but right in front, off in the distance, was the Holy Grail.
"Ryan, look at the water. It's so beautiful!"
"We're almost there. Follow me; this is a shortcut my dad and I always use." We made the turn and then another, when he said, "Kate I just want to say this one last thing and then I swear I will leave it alone."
I looked at him, letting him know I didn't want to hear it, but I knew he was going to say it anyway.
"Talk to him. Just get your answers. I love you too much to see you hurt as bad as you are and...”
"Give me your wallets."
I had been listening to Ryan, not even paying attention to who or what was around us. When I looked around, I noticed that we had walked between two more buildings and now there was a dirty kid asking us for our wallets?
"No, I'm not giving you my wallet. If you want..
"Kate." Ryan put his hand in front of me, warning me to stay back. I had no intention of letting this punk sca
re me.
"I said give me your wallets, now!"
"Listen, okay. I will give you whatever you want, but please, this is my best friend. She just came here to visit, so if we give you all..."
"Shut the fuck up and give it to me."
Why was he even talking to this kid? If all he wanted was money, then I would give him whatever cash I had on me. I reached for my purse, when Ryan grabbed me, forcing me to look at him.
He was shaking his head slowly back and forth, telling me no, but his eyes were what caught my attention. There was true, undoubtable, fear in them. I had never seen Ryan scared before. I looked back over to the kid and that's when I saw for the first time that he had a gun. Every bone in my body started to shake. I grabbed onto to Ryan's arm and squeezed, hoping he would look at me and tell me what to do. His eyes never left the guys hand with the gun, even as he spoke.
"Like I said, whatever it is you want. My wallet is in my back pocket. Let me put all of this down and I will hand it to you, okay. See I'm just setting this stuff down."
I couldn't believe this was happening to us. Ryan was moving so slow to put the basket on the ground that I thought we could get it over with that much faster if I just held it for him, or I could get my money out at the same time. I was so scared, that I started to look around for help. I had no idea where we were, but the beach was close, surely someone was going to walk by any second.
The kid’s hands were shaking like he was in need of his next fix. When I looked at the dark rings under his eyes, it was obvious that he was a drug addict. Junkie's just wanted cash and I knew I had at least a thousand dollars in my purse.
Ryan had set the blankets and basket down on the ground and was reaching in his back pocket for his wallet, when I grabbed my purse off my shoulder and opened it.
"Hey bitch, don't fucking move."
My wallet was right there. All I needed to do was grab the cash and...
"Kate, NOOOOO!"
Ryan jumped on me, knocking me to the ground. At the same time I heard the gun fire and then, "Oh, shit! Oh, shit! I'm so sorry. Why the fuck didn't you listen, you stupid bitch? Fuuucckkk! I'm sorry."
I heard him run away and thought, thank God he was gone. Someone surely heard the gun go off. Ryan was still covering me, protecting me like he always has. I was so scared, even after I knew the kid was gone.
"Ryan, it's okay, I'm okay. Are you okay? You can get up now, he's gone."
He didn't move. I knew he was scared too. Shock could make any one freeze up. I pushed on him so he would look at me and know that I was all right, but he was too heavy. That’s when I realized he must have passed out.
God was he heavy. Pushing him off of me took all the strength I had.
"You need to wake up Ryan, I'm not strong enough to move you."
I rocked us from side to side until I finally got him rolled over onto his back. Still shaking, I managed to sit up. I was getting ready to smack his face or do whatever was needed to get him to wake up, when I screamed at the top of my lungs. I screamed and screamed and screamed! “NO!!!!!!!"
"SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME, ANYONE!!!!!"
"God. No, don't do this. Please no. No, no, no, you can't do this. Please! SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP!!!!!"
I couldn't look at him anymore but I couldn't leave him either. I would never leave him. I grabbed my knees and started to rock back and forth.
I continued to scream until I lost my voice. I looked down and noticed I was holding Ryan's hand, I never even remembered grabbing it, but I held on, even though he couldn't hold me back. I was never letting go.
"Ma’am are you okay? Ma’am?"
I heard a voice and I could tell it was getting closer, but I wasn't sure where it was coming from. I couldn't move.
"Oh my God! George, call 9-1-1! Now!"
"Why? What's the big...."
All of the sudden there was a lady in front of me, petting my hair and saying I was going to be okay. How could she say that? Could she not see my best friend lying on the ground next to me, with blood pouring from the back of his head? Could she not see that his eyes are still open but he's not blinking anymore? How can anything ever be okay again? I didn't say anything to her or the other twenty people that all started to circle around us. I just continued to look down at the pavement and hold onto my best friend's hand.
The sirens came, along with the lights from the emergency vehicles that bounced off the pavement. More people crowded around and then the officers were pushing them back. The paramedics had nothing to do. There was no saving him and I knew it before they came for me.
"Miss, you are going to need to come with us."
I never let go of his hand and not once did I look at any of them. I was ready to wake up now. Anytime now Ryan was going to jump on my bed and scream, "Rise and shine, pretty girl" pulling me out of this nightmare and giving us a second chance to do this day over again. For me to not take my purse like he said, or to hold still like he told me too.
All of the sudden I was throwing up all over the concrete in front of me. Choking on the bile, I wanted to just die with him.
"Miss, we need to check you over and ask you some questions. Please take this and come with me."
A hand came down to my level, hovering in front of my face, holding out a handkerchief so I could see it. Like hell I was letting go of Ryan. I was never letting him go, even if I couldn't bring myself to look at him again.
Without warning, I was being picked up from behind. It all happened so quickly that I never had a chance to fight. In seconds, I went from being next to Ryan, to feeling his hand falling out of mine and watching it hit the ground.
"NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"
My body started thrashing from side to side as I fought with all I had. My legs were kicking anything that came anywhere near me. Whoever had me held my arms tight to my chest, not letting me have any chance once they lowered me to the ground.
"You have to stop fighting us; we are here to help you."
All the fight in me gave out. What was the point? He was being taken from me on a stretcher. They put a sheet over my best friend and put him the back of the ambulance. When I watched them close the doors, it was all over for me.
Blood stained the ground and it was all I could focus on. Ryan was gone. My sobs could be heard for miles along with my screams for mercy from God. Why? We weren't doing anything wrong. If anything, shouldn't that fucking little crack head be the one that was no longer here?
"Miss, I know you don't want to talk to me, but I need to understand what happened. We can't catch who did this if we don't know who it was. I'm so sorry..."
That's what did it. Those were the three words I remembered him saying, as he ran away after shooting off the back of my best friends head. I threw up again and again until all of the contents of my stomach were expelled from my body and dry heaving was all I had left.
A female came from out of nowhere and wrapped her arms around me, letting me cry until I couldn't anymore.
"She needs to answer questions," came from the officer who was picked me up earlier.
"She's in shock Morris, give her a minute."
"We don't have a minute to lose."
"You either give her a minute or you will never get what you need. It's your call."
The word call snapped me out of my daze. How could I call everybody and tell them? Hell, I didn't even know Shawna's phone number or where I could get it. His parents, oh my God his parents! I began to cry even harder until the arms that held me let loose and she came to grab my face, forcing my eyes to find hers.
"Don't you want to catch the son of a bitch that did this?"
I shook my head up and down, wanting to speak but couldn't.
"Then we need to do it. You are the only person who can identify whoever is responsible. The longer we wait, the further he or she can go to get away or hide. I know your worst nightmare has come to light here but we need you."
She didn't give me any time to think
before she was pulling me to my feet and leading me over to several people with notepads in their hands.
"Kate Williams, I am detective Rawlings. I just have a few questions for you ma’am."
A lot of the things he asked I was able to answer with a head nod. When it came time for the sketch artist, I was forced to speak. I couldn't at first but they didn't give me a choice.
Once the description was given, the artist showed me the result. I wasn't aware I had anything left, but I threw up again, this time on his shoes. The female that had helped me initially guided me to a car, placing me in the back seat and closed the door, leaving me alone once again.
When I saw they had my purse and Ryan's wallet, I figured out how they knew my name. My phone! I saw they had taken all of my belongings and laid them out on the ground. I saw it and instantly wanted it back. I attempted to open the door but couldn't. I started banging on the window as hard as I could, trying to get anyone who could hear their attention. Plenty of people walked right by me and never even gave me a look. I felt as if I was the criminal.
I continued to pound on the glass until the woman's head popped up. She must have heard me because she walked back over to the car and opened the door.
"What can I help you with?"
"My…phone. I… need… my…phone."
"I can't do that for you right now. If you are concerned for Mr. Eaton’s family, they have already been notified."
"How?"
"His father is chief of our department."
"What?"
"You didn't know his dad was an officer?"
"No."
How is it I never knew that? Ryan told me a million stories about his parents and not once did he ever tell me what they did for a living. How could I have known so little about one of my best friends?
"What...about....his...girlfriend?"
"I don't know about his personal life ma'am."
"Can...I...call...my…parents?"
I hated that speech was getting in the way of what I needed. I've never stuttered in my life, yet I couldn't compile one fluid sentence.
"When we are done here I promise you I will help you get in touch with whomever you would like. Is there anything else I can do for you?"
Fearing Regret Page 27