"Four months!"
"I had no idea. I am faithful to my pills and kept having periods."
"Well that's weird. The pill is like 99% effective unless you are on antibiotics."
It was my turn for the jaw to drop. I looked at Tony and his matched mine.
"Your ear infection."
"My ear infection."
"You got a baby out of an ear infection? That's crazy!"
"Chris, it was the meds."
"I know that Kate, it was a joke."
"So, I'm only seven weeks but still, how cool is this!"
"Pretty amazing. That puts me about seven weeks ahead of you. Wow, we're going to get to do this together."
"What haven't you guys done at the same time? It’s been like this since elementary school."
Chad was right. Somehow, other than Kara finding him, we have always done things together. I was so glad I didn't have to go through this alone, without her. Our babies could be the best of friends just like their mommies.
"So you just found out, that's insane. When do you get to find out what you're having? It should only be a couple weeks from now."
I looked at Tony and shook my head no. I wasn't going to tell him that we couldn't but I didn't want to. I already felt like we had lost so much time. Before we knew it, we would be holding our child. I didn't want to ruin the surprise. He smiled at me, letting me know he was okay with my choice. I turned back to Kara and said, "I think we're going to wait until delivery."
"What? You can't do that. How will we be able to shop together?"
"The baby will still need everything, Kara. We just won't be able to pick certain colors."
"You're a man, Tony. You have no idea how hard it will be for me to design your nursery without a gender."
"I don't think they asked you to design anything yet, Kara."
"Butt out, Chris. You're just still pissy about your office color."
"You picked purple! I may be gay but I never asked for purple walls!"
We were all laughing and having a great time. It was bitter sweet without Ryan but we were getting there. The night came to an end when Kara fell asleep on the couch.
"I just don't get why she's so tired all the time. I mean, she's not even showing yet."
"Don't ask me. I was exhausted but I didn't know why."
"Do you want help carrying her out to the car?"
Tony had walked over to the couch and was ready to pick her up when Chad said, "No thanks, I've had plenty of practice carrying her out of bars."
We all laughed at the truth to that statement.
"Thank you guys for having us over and congrats, looks like a lot is changing."
I gave him a huge hug and kiss. So much was different for all of us, some good some bad. Tony and I walked them out and waved goodbye as they drove off.
When we got back inside, Tony and I went and lay down in bed. He pulled me to him and said, "Now all we had to do is wait. I want you to be able to sit back and relax until you have the baby. Speaking of that, when do you plan on telling your work that you quit?"
I shot up and said, "I have no intentions of quitting. I love my job."
"More than you think you will love spending your time with our baby?"
"That's not even fair. Why don't you quit?"
"I can't breastfeed."
"And you think I'm offering up my boobs as food?"
"You don't plan to?"
"I don't know what I want to do yet, Tony. I've been pregnant for a New York minute. That's what I have been trying to say. I don't want to make any decisions now. I want to enjoy this."
He leaned over me and softly kissed my lips.
"I'm going to give you all the time you need. I love you Kate and I will support you no matter what you choose."
"Good to hear, because the only choice I'm making right now is sleep."
He was quiet for a second and then, "Really? I don't get anything tonight? I’ll even do all of the work."
"Not a chance, I'm exhausted. Tomorrow, I promise."
"So, that's how it going to be?"
He didn't even get his answer before I was asleep.
CHAPTER 28
I made it up to him at about three o'clock that morning, in case you all think I'm crazy. I may have been tired, but I'm no fool. Having him with me again made everything better.
We saw a real OBGYN the following week and got the due date we should have known all along. Tony and I made the decision to use Sadie's doctor. After all, who could we trust more bringing our baby into the world than the very man who saved the lives of three of our loved ones. Dr. Weiss went over everything with us, breaking down what was to be expected. He explained that the baby was in fact small, but with as much time as we still had, he or she could make it to full birth weight by the time the due date came. During the ultrasound, he also offered us the knowledge of the baby’s sex, saying it was early, but he thought he could tell already. We stuck to the plan though and chose to not know.
Tony did sell his house but unfortunately, he took a hit on it. The economy just wasn't where it was when he purchased it, but he couldn't have cared less. He wanted there to be nothing left of his life before me and I wanted nothing more than that couch. We both got our wish.
Kara found out as soon as she could that she and Chad were having a boy. As girly as Kara has always been, she was devastated with the news. After Chad promised her it would be okay and that he would show her what to do, she accepted what fate gave her.
It was the day of the twin’s baptism and I was crying pathetically in my bedroom. Tony came out of the bathroom to find me on the bed, curled in a ball. He rushed to my side saying, "What happened! Are you hurt?"
"No, I'm not hurt, my dress doesn't fit."
"Are you kidding? You just scared me to death."
"Does it look like I'm kidding?"
"Kate, you aren't even big. Most women blow up, while you have the cutest baby bump ever. If you would quit trying to still wear your old clothes, you would be fine."
I knew I was being ridiculous and that he was right, but I still hated it. I wasn't big enough to look clearly pregnant even though I was seven and a half months, I just looked fat.
"What about this?"
He had pulled out the perfect dress. Somehow, after I had rooted through my entire wardrobe, he managed to find one in less than two seconds.
I sat up, wiped my eyes and got out of bed. I was only in underwear after trying on and ripping off over what felt like one hundred dresses.
"You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen."
"You have to say that."
"No, believe me. I don't, nor would I, if it were untrue."
He walked over to me, lifting my chin and said, "Marry me."
It had been so long that I forgotten what those words sounded like coming from him.
"I can't, not yet. After we have the baby I can focus on a wedding, but not now."
His head dropped and I knew I hurt him.
"Tony, I will marry you over and over again when I can, just not now."
He looked up at me and said, "I'm going to hold you to that."
"You can and I expect you to."
His gorgeous lips found mine and one simple peck turned into so much more.
Slowly, he laid me back down on the bed, peeling my panties off of my legs in one movement. His hands went to my knees as he dropped to his, taking me into his mouth. My nails sunk into the mattress as he explored every inch of me. All of a sudden, I felt his finger penetrate, reaching for the very spot that would tip me over the edge. He grabbed onto me with his mouth and sucked on me until the tidal wave crashed down.
Lying there limp and trying to catch my breath, he mounted me, lining himself up to be buried as deep as I could take him. The fear of hurting the baby had long since passed and let me tell you, I have been thanking God every day since.
"I want you to look at me, Firecracker. I want to see your face the next time
I make you come."
He slowly rocked into me and then out. Knowing how much I hated being teased, he continued to torture me until I was bucking myself under him.
"Do you want me?"
"Yes."
"How bad do you want me?"
"Please Tony, I can't stand it."
"Sure you can and you will, until you can tell me what you want from me."
He rubbed against me, creating the friction I needed to come, but he knew what I wanted. He just wanted to watch me beg for it.
"Fuck me!"
It was all it took. Slam after slam came, as he rocked my body further up the bed, until my arms were bent, gripping onto the headboard. My knees were touching my shoulders as he hammered into me. His arms went under my knees and his hands came down over my enlarged breasts.
"Are you ready, baby?"
"Please, Tony."
"Please what, tell me what you want?"
"I need to come."
"And I will always give you What...you...need."
He grabbed on to my nipples, squeezing them hard enough that with his last hit, I was gone for, screaming his name.
"Open your eyes!"
I looked up at him just in time to watch his mouth fall open from pure pleasure as he pulsed his seed inside of me.
In that moment, I knew he was the sexiest man alive and I would be a fool to not marry him tomorrow. I wanted to say it right then, but when he collapsed onto me, the moment was gone.
I expected him to cuddle with me, but instead he jumped off of the bed and said, "Holy shit! We have to go!"
I looked at the clock and jumped up myself. Thank God I had already done my hair and make-up. With Tony picking out my dress, all I had to do was get it on and freshen up.
"Get dressed! We're going to be late!"
"Don't snap at me woman, it’s your fault."
We were both running around like chickens with their heads cut off.
By the time I had my last shoe fastened Tony was standing in the doorway looking flawless. How that man can fill out a suit like he does will never get old.
"You are one sexy ass man."
"I'm your sexy ass man. Are you ready?"
I stood up and brushed out the wrinkles in my dress when I heard him suck in a breath.
"I knew you would only get more beautiful but you surpass my dreams."
"Then we are one happy couple, because so do you. Now let’s get out of here before we get in trouble."
The church was just as amazing as it was the day they took their vows. Tony and I stood next to Kaleb and Heather, as our God children were blessed by the priest. Yes, you heard me right. Ash and Sadie decided to raise the babies Catholic, which made my mother very happy. Kaden was held by Asher as the water was poured over his head then Sadie came up to the bowl with Kendal. Both were asleep, until the holy water woke them in a state of panic. I grabbed a hold of Tony's hand, hating the sound of them crying, but he squeezed me twice, bringing a smile back to my face. We lit the candles, sat through the mass and ended the ceremony with a lot of pictures.
The twins were five months old and their features were changing already. The odd thing was Kendal took more from Ash, while Kaden looked exactly like Sadie. There was no doubt that they were going to grow up to be striking, I just couldn't predict exactly how.
Marissa had needed some extra cash as a student and Sadie admitted it was too hard juggling the two babies by herself. It couldn't have worked out better for either of them. Marissa didn't want to move off campus but she was at their house every minute she wasn't in class. Tony questioned if we should be thinking about a nanny also for after our baby was born, but again I said I didn't want to stress about anything until he or she was here.
We all went to a late lunch where we were able to celebrate together. Sadie's parents and mine fought over the babies while the rest of us got to enjoy each other.
"Hey Kaleb, are you ready to have one yet? It seems like the trend."
I thought it would be funny but Sadie kicked me under the table. Looking at her, I remembered that Heather and Jason had started trying with no luck so far. Talk about foot in mouth.
"Nah, I think we should get married first before we worry about kids. Ouch!"
Lindsey gave him the dirtiest look after obviously kicking him also I'm sure worrying about my feelings. What a messed up conversation. While Tony was trying to recover from any awkwardness we might have caused, I noticed Marissa was talking to Mike and thought to myself, just a little more time. She was going to forget all about Mike when she hit her prime. Men will be waiting in line for her attention, she just needed to wait and Mike would lose his luster.
"Kate?"
I snapped out of my own world and turned back to Sadie, "I'm sorry. Did you ask me something?"
"I asked about the nursery theme. Did you decide so we can plan your shower?"
Funny how things change. I was all about her having one, yet now I don't want anyone to go through the trouble.
"I don't need a shower."
"I know you don't need one, but your brother told me how you felt about them and I want to do it for you."
"I know and thank you, but I really think we are blessed enough. We don't need to have a party. The people I would want to be there are already a huge part of our lives anyway."
She smiled huge and then patted my leg saying, "I know exactly how you feel. Is it getting real yet?"
"Not really. I mean, I love when the baby kicks or moves. It just seems so foreign to me that I will be able to hold her or him in a few weeks. I think my favorite part so far is when Tony kisses a spot on my belly. Somehow the baby seems to know and moves to that side. We just sit back in wonder how we ever got so lucky."
"I remember when Ash would do that. It seems like a lifetime ago now. Time just goes by so fast. The twins started to sit up on their own this morning. It was insane. Ash and I each had one facing the other and sure enough, we counted off to three, let go and they both stayed up staring at each other."
Her eyes filled with tears and I knew I was going to be the same way.
"What are you two beauties talking about?"
Tony surprised me by coming up from behind us.
"Just baby stuff, I feel like life has changed so much for all of us in such a short time. I mean, look around. We used to be the party group, now we are either married, having kids or both. Hell, when was the last trip we all went on? As happy as I am in my life, I miss the old days a little."
"Sadie girl, this is life. And now that I've got Kate here, I wouldn't ask for anything different."
I looked up at him and winked, letting him know I feel the same way. He kissed two fingers and brought them down to my lips, then went back to his seat.
"Do you think life at times gives us the ones to learn from so when we find the right one, we are ready to see them?"
"See them?"
"I don't know about you, but I'm pretty sure that I would have passed on Ash a couple of years ago. Wait, don't look at me like that. Let me explain."
She was right. I did give her a look. In my mind she couldn't ever do better than my brother.
"I wasn't ready for the good guy yet. I always went for the bad boy. That's all I'm saying. Hell, according to Ash, he was nothing like he is now before either."
Maybe she's right. I had a great guy the whole time and I never saw him until it was too late. He was always the best friend and nothing more. Was life setting me up for Tony all along?
"I guess you're right. I just hate that some had to suffer while we figured it out."
"Yeah, but it all works itself out in the end."
She was smiling looking back over her shoulder at Asher and the twins. I didn't share her feelings. Not for all of us it didn't. Some of us never get the chance. My hand went to my belly when I heard, "What's the sad face for, Katie Cat?"
My dad's voice pulled me from my thoughts.
"Bittersweet thoughts."
"C
ome with me."
He held out his hand to take. I placed mine in his and was pulled from my chair. He led me outside, where there was a sitting area surrounded by flowers.
"I figured you could use a moment."
"Thanks, Dad." It was hard to say but my dad has always been someone I could talk to. "Sometimes I just feel guilty that I get to live life and he didn't."
"Do I ever tell you how special you are?"
"Yes Dad, but that won't fix this. I know it's not my fault, but the guilt doesn't fade."
"It will someday, you just have to appreciate the life you get to live that much more."
He walked closer to me, resting his hands on my belly. At the same time the baby kicked.
"Wow! That feeling will never get old for me."
"It feels pretty amazing from the inside too."
"Can I steal my beautiful lady from you, Michael?"
My dad leaned into my ear and whispered, "He's a lucky man."
I smiled as he released me, walked by Tony, slapping him on the back and then headed through the door inside.
"Hey Big Man, having fun?"
He made his way over to me, pulling me into his arms.
"I'm good, how's my girl doing?"
"I just needed to clear my head, let’s go back inside."
I attempted to pull away from him when he grabbed me tighter and said,
"Don't do this, I'm here for you for all of it, not just the good. What's going on inside that head of yours? Talk to me, babe."
"It feels wrong to tell you about this."
"Nothing is wrong for you to tell me. I'm here no matter what."
"I have guilt, so much guilt that I need to get past still."
"I've always known that he was special to you. I can't compete with his memory but I will do my best to remind you, it wasn’t your fault."
"I don't know that though. The fact that I always knew I had him to make me feel better, it was wrong to rely on that. Had I just learned how to do that on my own earlier, he could still be here Tony."
"He could, yes, but he's not. I will never tell you that how you're feeling is wrong, Kate. I just want you to be happy with what you have and we have so much to look forward to together."
"I don't devalue anything; I just wish Ryan could have experienced it too."
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