Spying on the Boss

by Janet Lee Nye

  She wrenched open the door with a sigh and slid into the driver’s seat. She sat with her hands on the steering wheel for a moment. She could feel the stiffness in the way he sat and it kicked off a little puff of regret. Had she insulted him? Hurt his feelings? She wanted to bang her head on the steering wheel.

  “I’m sorry.” In her peripheral vision, she saw his head turn toward her. Felt the brush of his gaze along the side of her face. She swallowed down the tears threatening to surface. She realized she’d never talked about what was going on with Abuelito with anyone but Lena and Josh. “Someone very dear to me is going to die. Today. He’s in hospice. I’ve been to see him for the last time this morning. And now I’m...”

  What? Hiding. Because she was still a coward. Still afraid to love fully. Her first reaction when someone was leaving was to protect her heart. Push away. Run away. She hadn’t gone that far. She would never be able to look at herself in the mirror if she had. But she’d kept her pain between her and the old man. She’d run from the family gathered to wait and mourn. Oh, she’d been there when they were showering her with love and acceptance and food. She didn’t have a problem letting them in then. It was now, when it was hard and when it hurt, she’d made a token effort and run.

  “Trying to cope?” Wyatt asked.

  His words were spoken so quietly it took a moment for her to comprehend them. She turned to him. God, his face. Now he did look like an angel. Not a sweet, pure angel, but one who’d walked around among humans for a while and had seen suffering. Her cheeks burned. Of course he’d seen suffering. His sister had died in a horrible accident. His niece was suffering before his very eyes while he tried to comfort her. She turned the key and cranked the engine to life.

  “Yes, trying to cope.”

  He reached out and warm, strong fingers closed gently around her hand. Sadie froze. The lightning fast shock of his touch didn’t zing along her nerves this time. This was pure tenderness. He squeezed her hand in his and her fingers flexed, returning the gesture. Comforting. The muscles in her shoulders relaxed. She looked from their hands to his face. The understanding and compassion she saw there drew her in, mesmerizing her.

  No. Oh, no. Don’t do this. Don’t get sucked into this, Sadie girl. She pulled her hand free and dropped the car into Reverse. A sudden new fear rose within her. This wasn’t her hormones talking, this was her heart. And that was simply not going to happen.

  Wyatt seemed to understand she wanted to keep busy and keep moving. He was all business as they tackled the deep cleaning at the next address. It was the smallest of the scheduled houses and the time advantage they’d gained with the easy first cleaning helped them keep ahead of schedule. She was more than happy with her inspection of Wyatt’s work. First-rate. Proving her point he was too smart for this job. Or trying to impress the boss. She pulled out her phone, pushed it back in her pocket. Only to pull it out a minute later to make sure that the volume was turned up. It was. She knew it was.

  Every nerve in her body seemed poised at the breaking point. Maybe she should call. Maybe he was already gone and Lena forgot to call. She shook her head. Lena wouldn’t forget. Would she? She pulled the phone back out. What are you going to say? Oh, hi, it’s me, is he dead yet? She tucked the phone away and covered her face with her hands. Maybe you should go. Go be with the family. No, she’d flat-out lose her mind sitting there waiting. Watching him slip away inch by inch. She gulped in a shuddering breath. Then a purposeful breath, deep and slow. Pull it together.

  “Hey,” Wyatt said from behind her.

  “Seriously, dude!” When her feet touched back down, she put a hand on her galloping heart and spun to face him. “I’m going to bell you like a cat.”

  His startled expression melted into laughter. “Sorry. I’ll try to stomp. Everything’s packed up and ready. We’re way ahead of schedule. Can we call the next appointment and see if we can come early? Seems a shame to waste an hour’s advantage.”

  She rapidly shifted gears from her heartache to being startled to being warmed to the core by his laughter. It left her a bit dizzy. The businesswoman was too pleased with his suggestion to let the rest bother her. It was just what she’d been thinking of doing. Critical thinking skills turned a good employee into a great employee, and he had them.

  “Great idea. Get the number from the book and give them a call.”

  * * *

  SHE WAS WALKING up the stairs, carrying the vacuum cleaner, when her phone rang. She froze. The vacuum cleaner slipped from her numb fingers to land with a thud on the step. For a brief, irrational moment her brain screamed at her to ignore it. Don’t answer. She managed to get the phone out of her jeans pocket without dropping it.

  Lena sounded calm and in control. The words washed over Sadie. About ten minutes ago. Everyone going home. Her parents were going to the funeral home. Arrangements. Come to the house for dinner tonight. Sadie tried to say something but her throat seemed to have closed and the pressure building in her chest was making it hard to breathe. She forcefully pulled in a long breath. She said some things. What exactly, she didn’t know. Ended the call.

  Ten minutes ago. Shouldn’t she have sensed it? She covered her face with her hands. Never again would she hear him call her his gatita callejero. A homeless street kitten. She felt as if a hole had been ripped open in her soul and she was slipping away through it. A strange sound slowly seeped into her consciousness and it wasn’t until Wyatt came at a run from the kitchen, skidding to a stop at the foot of the stairs that she realized the sound was coming from her. Weeping.

  She suddenly found herself with his arms around her, and the tears broke loose. For a long time she was aware only of the waves of pain and loss coursing through her. Expecting his death had taken none of the sting away from the reality of it and her heart broke with this new emotion, this grief she’d never experienced.

  She became aware of the feel of Wyatt’s chest against her cheek, of his hand in her hair. His voice was low and soothing in her ear. She pressed closer into his warmth, sliding her hands around his neck and nestling closer. The tears faded away. His shirt was soaked with them. She started to pull away but he held her tight.

  His hand drifted from her hair to cup her cheek and turn her face up to his. The rough strength of his hand contrasted with the tender concern in his eyes. The pain and fear left her as a wave of warmth filled her. Without a thought, she leaned forward and pressed her lips to his. Yes. Oblivion. She tightened her arms around his neck. He hesitated. His lips left hers for a moment and crashed back as he gave in to the kiss.

  He held her even tighter and she could feel his heart matching the mad rush of her own beat for beat. She skimmed her fingers across the faint stubble of his cheeks. At his low moan, she hooked her fingers behind his neck and deepened the kiss. He tasted sweet, so sweet, as an angel should. And smelled like sunshine on saltwater. One of his hands was buried in her hair and the other was rubbing a line of fire down her back and...

  Shit! She pushed back so hard she slipped to the stair below. She clapped her hands over her mouth and stared up at him. What on earth are you doing? Abuelito is dead and you’re tongue kissing an employee in a client’s home? Have you lost your ever-loving mind?

  Wyatt held out a hand. “Sadie.”

  She scrambled to her feet, heat and horror and shame filling her. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I don’t know what I was doing.”

  He remained sitting. “It’s okay. Sit down.”

  She grabbed the vacuum cleaner. “No, it isn’t. It’s terrible. I’m a horrible person. I mean, I’m sorry, that will never happen again.”

  You suck. That’s all there is to it. She sank back down on the stair and buried her face in her knees. Wyatt’s hand pressed lightly on her back and the gesture set loose a fresh torrent of tears.

  “Give me your phone.”

  When she didn
’t respond, he pulled it from her pocket. This was about as bad as kissing him. Sobbing like a child. On the job. You are working, Sadie. You aren’t allowed to fall apart. She sat up and savagely wiped the tears from her face. She started to stand but Wyatt closed his hand around her wrist and shook his head. He pointed to the stair and she sat.

  “Hey, Josh, it’s Wyatt. We’re going to need some help out here.”

  “We don’t need help. Give me a minute.”

  Sadie reached for the phone but Wyatt twisted away. “Yes,” he said into the phone. His eyes were warm as he looked at her and he took her hand in his. His palm was hot against her icy fingers. He ended the call. “Josh is on the way.”

  “Okay. We can get this finished up before he gets here.”

  “We can sit here until he gets here.”

  She couldn’t. She couldn’t sit there with him. Not after she’d shoved her tongue down his throat. Her cheeks burned. Her legs twitched with the desire to jump and run away. She covered her face with her hands. There was something seriously wrong with her. “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be.”

  “I don’t know what to do,” she whispered.

  “You go home when Josh gets here. You go be with your family. You cry. You remember the good things. You cry some more. You put one foot in front of the other.”

  He dropped an arm around her shoulders and gave her a friendly squeeze. The knot of confusion loosened and she leaned into his warmth.

  “I’m such a dork.”

  “No. You’re a pretty awesome person, Sadie Martin. And a damn good kisser.”

  She buried her burning face in her knees but a brief smile played at the corners of her lips.

  * * *

  SADIE DROVE SOUTH along Savannah Highway with one hand on the wheel, the other wandering absently to her lips from time to time as she made her way south. Her mind was a pleasant blank as familiar landmarks came and went. The Coburg Cow, that landmark of the West Ashley area of Charleston, caught her eye. Since the 1960s, it had been an early morning rite of teenage passage to climb the tower to the rotating sign and ride on the back of the cow. Sadie had not participated in this ritual.

  So many things she never did because she never knew when or where she’d be moved. No sports. No clubs. No close friends. She spent the entirety of her teen years keeping her head down and trying to stay out of trouble.

  She rubbed at her throat, trying to soothe away the ache there. Abuelito was gone. It hardly seemed real. When she finished this drive, when the homes and business parks that crowded this section of Savannah Highway thinned out, when she passed through Red Top and Ravenel, when she turned off onto the farm road, she’d be at Lena’s family home. And he wouldn’t.

  Fear whispered in her ear, telling her to turn around, to go back home. Told her she couldn’t handle this. She shook her head. No. Not this time. Her fingers drifted back to her lips. The memory of Wyatt’s lips pressed against them rose in her mind, but what lingered were his words. You go be with your family. You cry. You remember the good things. You cry some more. You put one foot in front of the other. There was no right way to do this.

  Sadie sighed as she pulled to a stop on the side of the road. The driveway was overflowing with cars. She climbed out and, as she always did, stood for a moment staring at the house. Deep down an oak-lined country road, it stood in a small meadow surrounded by oak, pine and maple forest. It was a simple home really, for all its size. Two stories, redbrick with steeply slanted black rooftops, it had a deep covered front porch with rows of glistening white rocking chairs. The window frames and eaves were also painted white, providing a bright contrast to the dark red brick. The front yard was small and neatly landscaped. The land went on seemingly forever in the back. Lena had built this for her family. Mobile home or grand mansion, they were the same loving people who had taken her into their home and lives.

  The front door opened as she walked up the front steps. “Sadie!”

  She smiled as Lena’s cousin Sam stepped out. Five years ago, he’d had a horrible crush on Sadie and had once asked her to marry him. He’d been fifteen at the time. He’d grown into a tall, darkly handsome man, and after the Marine Corps had given him the body of a god, she’d almost had reason to regret her decision to turn down his proposal. She held out her arms and he lifted her to her toes with his embrace.

  “Who all is here?” she asked after he let her go.

  “Who isn’t here? Everyone.” They stepped through the door and Sam called out, “Hey. Look what I found!”

  The buzz of conversation quieted then rose again as Sadie was pulled into the house and was passed from arm to arm. She let it wash over her, the love, the tears, the laughter, the memories. She made her way to the kitchen, the heart of the house, where she knew she’d find Ana.

  “Mamacita,” she said as she put her arms around Lena’s mother. Tears stung at her eyes at the strength of the arms that circled around her, squeezing her tight. “Lo siento.”

  Ana stepped back and wiped at her eyes. Abuelito had been her father. “I’m so glad you came, Sadie. I was worried about you this morning.”

  Sadie kissed her cheek. “I’m okay. I’ve just never...” The words died on her tongue and she moved aside as Ana turned back to the counter and resumed mixing up a bowl of what looked like corn dough.

  “Lost a loved one?” Ana asked.

  “Yeah.”

  Sadie leaned against the counter and smiled at the other women who were seated at the kitchen table, sifting through a large box of photographs. Lena’s aunts. She knew Estrella and Paula but not the other two.

  “Come here,” Estrella said. She held out a photograph.

  “What’s all this?” Sadie asked as she crossed to take the picture. “Oh!” She sank into a chair, holding the picture in both hands. It was of Abuelito and her. He was sitting in his place at the head of the family table and Sadie had leaned down from behind, her cheek pressed to his. He had one hand pressed against hers.

  “We’re sorting through them. The funeral home will load them into a computer and they will show on a monitor at the viewing. Isn’t that nice?” Estrella said. She tapped at the top of the picture in Sadie’s hand. “But you keep that one.”

  “May I?”

  “Of course you can.”

  Sadie looked down at the picture. She tried to remember exactly when it was taken, but there were no real clues. Before he got sick, that was for sure. Two, three years ago? Ana had taken it. She was the only person Sadie knew who still used film. A warm, liquid feeling washed over her. It was like a family snapshot. She didn’t have many of those. Few of the foster parents had thought to send pictures with her when she moved on to a new home. She had some school pictures, a couple Santa pictures, but that was about all. She tucked this one away in her purse.

  “Where’s Lena?”

  “Upstairs. On the phone. Making money for someone,” Paula said.

  Sadie frowned slightly at the disapproving tone. This was new. Lena was the family’s golden child. Could do no wrong. Yes, her grandfather had passed away, but surely they understood Lena would have to wrap up some business before the end of the day. She looked to Ana, who said nothing. Sadie decided to follow her example.

  “What can I help with?”

  Ana tilted her head toward the pile of fruit on the counter beside her. “You can start cutting this up for the sangria.”

  As she cut the fruit and dropped it into the line of pitchers Ana had set out, Sadie listened as people came and went at the kitchen table. Everyone had a story to tell. Usually about some kindness or help that Lito had given to them. Sometimes funny. Lito’s youngest sister was there, telling stories of their village in Mexico and how the whole family had moved across the border into Texas when she was only three. She told them how hard Lito worked and s
tudied because the only thing he wanted was to become an American citizen. A goal he accomplished on his twenty-fifth birthday.

  Her eyes kept straying to the kitchen window. From there she could see the edge of the forest. Her eyes must have been playing tricks on her because she could swear she saw a cat there in the shadows but there were no more feral cats. Lito had caught them all years ago to be neutered or spayed and released. The colony had died out slowly.

  “Do they forgive you?”

  “Some. It’s the same with people, you know. Some know you are trying to help and forgive what might seem cruel. Others refuse to see beyond their hurt feelings.”

  The memory rose in her mind and she cleared her throat against the lump that was trying to form there. One of the many memories she had of sitting with Lito while he taught her what family was. What love was. She put the knife down and wiped her eyes with her sleeve.

  “I’m going out back for a minute,” she said. Her voice wavered and wobbled, but Ana only nodded.

  She stood for a long moment on the back porch. Her heart squeezed painfully when she saw the blanket draped over the back of a chair. The patchwork quilt blanket was frayed at the edges but its colors were still bright. She caressed the fabric. Her fingers closed around the edge. This was stupid. People were going to think she’d lost her mind. A few steps through the yard and she lifted the blanket, flinging it out, spreading it across the patch of grass where they’d always sat. She sat with her knees pulled up to her chest, and wrapped her arms around them and watched the forest.