by Jo Zebedee
It had been destroying her. The mesh was greedy. He knew that from holding it – it had sucked at him, always asking him to take more of it. His grandmother, when he’d met her at the end of her days, had been a husk given entirely to the mesh. She’d given up a son for it.
Kerra was too young to take it; she’d never keep it in its place. And the boy needed guidance from someone who understood him. With a groan, Kare opened his eyes. He looked at Kym. He was sorry – he’d lost her Silom. Now he’d taken her life.
Except he hadn’t. She grew stronger under his hand. Her eyes opened. Her hand tightened on her rifle. She tried to say something, but the words didn’t come. He patted her, clumsily. He knew. She never missed.
He made himself move. His arm, broken and useless, jarred and he bit back a scream. Beck had made him get to his feet with a broken ankle. He’d beaten him senseless and forced him back up to be beaten again. If the Empress thought pain would finish him, she hadn’t understood the lesson she’d taught. He got to his knees and took every bit of the Roamer power, full of Kerra’s healing skills, and focused it on Kym. He held his good arm out for her, keeping it strong and straight as she gripped it and levered onto her knees.
The Empress sensed them. Kare straightened to his feet, sweat breaking, and pulled Kym with him. He braced, ready for the Empress’ onslaught. Bodies lay around him: his squad, dead at his feet.
The Empress hit out, hard. She wasn’t tired. He stumbled, and threatened to pull Kym with him, but she twisted free. Another hit from his mother sent him onto one knee. He sucked at the mesh, pulling Kerra’s power.
“My empire,” said the Empress, a parody of his words a decade ago. “My people. Nothing has changed.”
The sound of yelling came from the corridor. The Empress turned her head to it, distracted, and Kare drew his thoughts together. He pulled himself to his feet, using the wall for support, and faced his mother.
The door burst open. Lichio was there, a plasma-rifle in hand. He took down the first of the guards, and yelled, “Someone do something about that bitch!”
A squad followed him, some from Kare’s palace guard. They opened fire on the Empress’ soldiers, driving them back. The Empress tried to move against them but Kare blocked her, holding on grimly.
“Do it,” he told Kym. “I can’t hold on long.”
She took aim. “Gladly. And this time I won’t fucking miss.”
The shot echoed. His mother reeled back, into the frame of the empty bay window. Another shot. Kym charged the plasma-chamber, a small smile in place, and fired again, sending the Empress hard against the sill. She yelled, teetering, arms wheeling, but steadied herself.
To hell with this. Kare sent everything he had ripping across the room, hitting her square-on. She crashed backwards, over the sill and through the open window. She dropped, her screams whipping through the air.
She tried to pull her power around her. He drained the Roamer mesh, refusing to let her; as long as she was dead, he had nothing else to achieve. The room went dark around him, he was swaying, and someone – Lichio, he thought – grabbed his elbow, keeping him upright. He felt his mother’s fear, felt her hatred of him. He felt the pain that took her as she hit the ground, the agony that shot through her as she died.
Her presence left and he fell to his knees, too shattered to stand, in too much pain to care, and everything went dark.
CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT
Sonly’s eyes tracked up the wall to the huge window she knew so well, the Empress’ chambers. Gunfire came from it. A figure was silhouetted in the window and her throat closed, tight with fear. She needed her diversion to have worked, to have given Kare the opportunity to blindside the Empress. She needed to get past the palace guard, inside, and see what had happened.
A shriek filled the air. The figure at the window fell, tumbling limbs and a long scream.
Kerra grabbed her arm. “Dad…?” Her voice carried more than fear: a cold certainty.
“It’s not.” Baelan, at the other side of Sonly, sounded sure. “Look.”
The shriek was long and high-pitched. The figure fell, a flash against white walls. Two of the gate guards ran towards the palace. A sick thud came, and a soft ooh from the crowd. Kerra buried her face against Sonly. Behind her, Baelan muttered, “By my Lady,” and it was hard to tell if he was sorry or glad.
“Let me through,” Sonly said, pushing at the gates. Baelan gave her a quick grin and touched the gate, and it swung to. She could warm to him, she decided.
She started to run. She should be glad the Empress was dead, but took no satisfaction in it. She’d take no pleasure in anything until she knew Kare was alive. She reached the entrance to the palace and slowed at the sight of more soldiers.
“Let me into my palace,” she said. She drew herself up to her full height – not impressive, admittedly, but it made her feel better. “Now.”
They did, stepping aside, their leadership unclear. She pushed past them and ran up the main staircase, heading for the heart of the palace.
***
Kerra turned to Baelan. “It’s too late, isn’t it?” She should go with her mum, but she didn’t know how she would face her when she reached her father, knowing that she’d done it to him, taken the mesh and all his hope.
He frowned, staring up at the palace. “I can’t feel him. Can you?”
“A little.” Her father was there, but it was only the smallest pulse. He’d drained the mesh, as she’d known he would, and now he had nothing to pull on, nothing to help him. She focused on him, sending what power she had, but it was too small.
She turned to Baelan. “Come on.” She didn’t have enough power on her own, but between them they might. “We need to help him.”
“I can’t.” Baelan looked at the ground. She didn’t think she’d ever seen anyone look sadder. “I swore to my people I’d kill him.”
She took a step back. “But he came for you. He stood by you.” The flicker at the back of her mind was going. “Please, help him.”
Baelan looked older than the boy who’d left the palace with them, shivering and shocked, as if he’d grown during their escape. Shadows from the palace gates criss-crossed his face, dark and light, making his expression impossible to read. But he didn’t move.
Disgusted, she turned away. She ran along the driveway to the palace.
“Kerra.” The sound of metal clattering on stone made her stop and turn. Baelan stood. At his feet lay his ankhar. His fists were clenched, as if fighting something, but he stepped towards her. “Let’s go.”
***
Lichio dropped to the ground beside Kare. He lifted his wrist and found a weak pulse.
“Kare,” he pleaded. “Can you hear me?”
Nothing. Once, Kare could have recovered from this, but the power he must have expended to carry him and Kym through those last minutes would have left the mesh empty. His eyes fluttered and he murmured something that might have been Lich, but then lay still, his chest barely moving.
Something ran down Lichio’s cheek, surprising him. He squeezed his eyes shut, clearing the blurred room from his vision, but it made no difference; still the tears fell. He sat, surrounded by the mess of battle, oblivious to the squad watching him, and held his friend. At least Kare would have someone he knew. That, at least, had to be something.
He heard the clatter of footsteps from the anteroom, and Sonly’s thin voice asking where Kare was. She came through the door at a run, her face streaked with tears, breathing hard; she must have run through the whole palace. She stopped, and he imagined what she was taking in: the amount of blood, Kym Woods slumped, blood dripping through her fingers; the unmoving Kare.
“Lich...?” Her voice was dull. She knew. He gave the tiniest shake of his head.
She dropped to his side and took Kare’s hand. It lay, pale and still, in hers. She reached for Kare, took him from Lichio’s arms and held him against her. Her long, low sound of sorrow filled the room, and he was transpor
ted back a decade to another death in the palace, to another friend bleeding out after an attack by the Empress.
***
“Stop!” said Kerra. The Empress’ rooms were at the very top of the palace – they didn’t have time to reach their father. “Can you feel it?”
The mesh was coming back. It circled her, seeking her to take it, but she shook her head. It was her dad’s. Taking it would mean he was dead.
“Fight it; stay with us,” she whispered, sending the mesh to where his presence had been. “I’m not taking it. Fight. You can do it.”
The mesh remained within her. She squeezed her eyes shut, searching, searching for the last spark that was her father, but it was weak, just at the edge of the mesh, fading away. She grasped it, gave all her strength, but still it faded.
“No,” she whispered. This couldn’t be happening, there had to be something she could do.
“Fight.” Kerra focused on the wound, focused on closing it. It was hard, it took so much effort. She glanced at Baelan. “Hold my hand. Give up your power.”
He could make the difference. He was the strongest of them all. But he didn’t understand the mesh, or what to do. He took her hand. Her father was still there, the smallest of a million pricks of light. She dived back into the mesh, ignoring its demands, carrying Baelan with her, and focused everything she had on their father.
***
“Kare. Stay with me.” Sonly’s voice was harsh, demanding, undeniable. Kare tried to tell her to give him a minute, that it hurt, but he couldn’t hear his voice. His eyes wouldn’t open, either.
“Come on, you’ve made it this far.” Lichio, even further away. Too far away to be reached. A distant squeeze on his hand and Lichio went on, “You’ve made it. Now live to enjoy it. You should have died years ago. Don’t do it now.”
Yes. He should have died on the ship with Karia, not stood and watched, safe on the planet below. He should have been with her. He could sense her beside him, and his father, their presence strong. He’d missed her. She held her hand out and he tried to lift his own to take it, but it was heavy, too heavy, and someone was holding it and not letting him go. He sagged back.
“Kare, please!” The voice was from another world. Sonly would have to find her way to him later; he couldn’t get back to her now.
Karia raised her hand to her mouth, a smile dancing. His father was behind her, in his familiar pilot’s suit, hair falling over his eyes.
“Not yet, son,” he said. “We don’t need you yet.” His hand tightened on Karia’s shoulder. “Do we?”
She shook her head. She had a light cradled in her hand, a tiny one. She blew on it, her lips pursing into a secret smile. It drifted across the space between them, staying small, taking its time.
He’d taken a light from Karia once before, he remembered. All it had done was bring him more pain. He wanted to refuse it, but his father took a step forwards. He smiled, a smile Kare remembered well.
“Go back, son. It won’t be the same this time.” His father had never come to him, in all the years since he’d been lost. “Trust me.” He’d always known what lay ahead. He vanished, and Kare lay, his breaths shallow, sharp pain growing with each.
He looked at the light. It grew and he recognised it: the mesh, seeking to heal him, to give him strength. He drew in a harsh breath. Gods, he hurt everywhere. Someone – his father, he thought – held him.
Slowly he opened his eyes and saw it wasn’t his father, or Karia. They were gone, replaced by Lichio, his face pale, and Sonly. He felt son and daughter’s presence holding him. He took another breath, deeper, embracing the pain. He chose to live.
EPILOGUE
The chamber echoed with the endless sound of waves. The incense hadn’t quite faded, making the sense of place as strong now as it ever had been. Kare sat on the edge of the bed, remembering the first day he’d come here, how he’d taken his grandmother’s hands in his and discovered he was more than the Empress’ son. It had been the day he’d realised there was a different future, one that didn’t force him to continue an empire he hated. The day he’d been freed.
Except he wasn’t the King the Roamers needed. He had no power of his own. He didn’t Control. He was nothing but a shell for them to fill, where his grandmother had been the living centre of them. Regardless, he was the King they had for now. Kerra had been so shaken when she’d left Abendau. It had taken weeks to get to the point where she’d talk about what had happened, and longer to start to put it behind her. Perhaps one day she would inherit the mesh – she appeared Ealyn’s heir more than he’d ever been. At his death, at the very least – and he still had more enemies than he cared to think about. She had to be ready for it and understand how to control it. More than that, she had to want it.
And Baelan? He’d never be happy in this chamber – he didn’t understand the Roamers. He was of the tribes, of Belaudii. That’s where he belonged, once he learned to control his power and found his way back to the boy he might have been without being twisted to Phelps’ agenda.
Kare looked at the ceiling, at the hook for the prism, at the light reflected from the ocean. “All right,” he said. “I accept.”
For now. For as long as he was needed. The mesh pulsed its acknowledgement. He stepped out of the room and down the corridor, his boots clicking against the stone floor. He wouldn’t be back here, not for a long time. Or on Belaudii. He needed his own place, not one forced on him. He needed time to find out who Kare Varnon really was.
He reached the main cavern, where Farran waited. He crossed to the ship, touching hands with the Roamers who lined the port. Once on board, he paused at the top of the gangway. Familiar voices carried along the ship’s access-way, half-raised in argument: the le Paynes, fighting over some political point only they cared about.
He smiled, and ducked into the main cabin. Lichio stood, talking with Sonly. Josef watched with his dark eyes and his quiet way of taking everything in. He acknowledged Kare with a quickly raised eyebrow.
“Well, you’re the president. I’ll leave you to decide,” said Lichio. “We’re taking a ship to Mersor.”
They left, Sonly taking a last hug from her brother – and giving one to the slightly bemused Josef. Kare sank onto the couch and patted it. She came over. She was wearing the blue he liked. It made her eyes shine.
“So,” he said. “Where to, Lady President?” He stretched; he felt weightless, like he could touch the sky if he wanted. “I have nothing pressing to do.”
“You’ll get bored.”
She knew him too well. He looked down at his hands. “The role – the outer zone development minister?”
“You’re going to take it?”
He paused, remembering a dead girl from years ago, lying under a poisoned sky. The outer zone had so many half-terraformed planets. There were accidents all the time – domes breaking from age, colonies wiped out and never missed. Without the money of the richer systems, everything was run on a budget, and that budget was costing lives. It had been for years.
“I thought I might. I can base myself on Ferran and travel as needed.” Space travel, after all, had once been his life. “My name might bring in some additional funding.” It was nice to have the shoe on the other foot. “In fact, I thought I might tap your budget for some of it. You owe me a few social projects.”
Baelan could stay with him; he’d teach him as his own father had taught him. Shanisa, too, already with Baelan and eying Kare warily each time they met. And Kerra – travelling would give her a chance to learn the Control she’d lost, and give her some freedom from Sonly’s world of expectation.
“We’ll see.” Her comms unit buzzed and she left, answering it as she did. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes, relishing the quiet. He could feel his father and Karia with him, he was sure of it. He’d done it for all of them – killed his mother and destroyed her empire. Let it be enough. Let him pass into a future he’d never seen but wanted to embrace.
THE EN
D
Table of Contents
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER THREE
CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER SIX
CHAPTER SEVEN
CHAPTER EIGHT
CHAPTER NINE
CHAPTER TEN
CHAPTER ELEVEN
CHAPTER TWELVE
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
CHAPTER NINETEEN
CHAPTER TWENTY
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
CHAPTER THIRTY
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
CHAPTER FORTY
CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
CHAPTER FORTY-TWO
CHAPTER FORTY-THREE
CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE
CHAPTER FORTY-SIX
CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN
CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT
EPILOGUE
Table of Contents
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER THREE
CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER SIX
CHAPTER SEVEN
CHAPTER EIGHT
CHAPTER NINE
CHAPTER TEN
CHAPTER ELEVEN
CHAPTER TWELVE
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
CHAPTER FIFTEEN