by Josie Leigh
“You think he cheated on Samantha with me?” Missy looked at Jamie, shocked that the woman didn’t seem to know the truth.
“You said the plan worked, I assumed that meant you’d stolen him away, but then she found out and ruined everything. Of course he’d deny it and try to get her back,” Jamie shrugged. “It’s a natural guy response, but I figured after all the years apart, he’d understand the favor we’d done for him and move on.”
“He didn’t cheat, Jamie. He told me to leave,” Missy confessed. “The only reason the plan worked was that Samantha’s sister witnessed me trying to take advantage of him while he was passed out.”
“He didn’t?” Jamie jumped from the couch and stalked back to the bar. “But…I heard Samantha walked in on you guys naked…”
“No, Mrs. Wright,” Missy shook her head again and looked down, ashamed of her actions for the first time. “I wanted to help you and I hadn’t gotten over missing my chance with Jason, so I used his total intoxication to split them up.”
“And? You couldn’t figure out a way to do it again?”
“I could have, sure. But instead I told them the truth, all of it. Including how I’d gotten in, because in that moment, I figured something out about myself, too,” Missy took another sip of her water, trying to gather the courage to tell Jamie something she wasn’t going to like. “I didn’t miss my chance with Jason. I never had a chance, he always belonged to her. I can’t let another chance with Chester slip through my fingers because of something that never existed.”
“No! He doesn’t! He deserves to be with someone who will put him and his needs first. Someone who isn’t too preoccupied making a life for herself that she doesn’t know how to be a good wife. Someone who will give him a son to call his own. Someone who doesn’t expect him to take care of some brat that isn’t even his!” Jamie finished, throwing her tumbler across the room, shattering it against the tile fireplace. “You know, that bitch doesn’t even know how to cook. How can she possibly make him happy?”
“Because she’s not dependent on me to find her happiness, Mother,” a voice sounded from the doorway. Jamie lifted her shocked eyes to find her son, staring at her, his face a mask of seething anger. “It’s not her fault that you wanted to be more than a housewife and dad wouldn’t let you,” he continued, walking further into the room, Samantha trailing behind him with a sad look on her face. “He didn’t keep you prisoner in this house, though, that was your decision. You could’ve had a hobby other than drinking and burying yourself in lives of your children.”
“How dare you—
“I’m not finished,” Jason said, calmly. “You hide behind your life coach and Sven. You try to convince yourself that it’s the life you wanted, but you punish anyone who doesn’t make the same choices for their life,” he continued, picking up the nearly empty bottle of scotch from the floor next to the coffee table. “Hell, you do it to your own daughters, too! But there is nothing to stop you from finding friends you don’t have to pay or scheme with, there’s nothing to stop you from finding happiness outside of this bottle or meddling in what you think is best for us. We love you, but if you keep this up, you aren’t going to have anyone but dad. Is that what you want?”
“No,” his mother whispered.
“Now, I’d really like to have you as part of my life, but you’re going to have accept that Sammy and Corigan are family to me, too.”
“But—
“No, buts, Mother. She makes me happy. She’s always made me happy. Can’t you find a way to be happy for me? For us?”
Jamie turned from her son, effectively closing the door on his offer, because she wasn’t sure she could see past how wrong she thought Samantha was for him.
“Fine, then. You know how to find us, if you change your mind, but until you are willing to accept everything and everyone in my life, don’t expect me to answer your call,” he turned, ushering Samantha out of the room in front of him, her eyes still wide at all she’d heard from Jason and Jamie.
“Why?” Missy asked after the door closed behind them, looking at Jamie’s shoulders shaking with grief.
“I’m not ready to fix it yet,” she said. “He’ll want me to play nice and get to know her daughter. I can’t,” she admitted, looking at her friend with red-rimmed eyes, still half crazed from the encounter. Jamie knew she hadn’t quite hit bottom yet and had no desire to claw her way back to the top, not even for her son. She’d already lost him anyway. Maybe Missy was right, that she’d never had him. That he’d always belonged to Samantha.
**
Jason paused outside the front door of his mother’s house and grabbed Sammy’s hand. “I’m so sorry for all of this,” he begged, hoping she was okay.
“It’s fine, Jason,” she sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose in frustration. “I knew she didn’t like me, but I never realized that it wasn’t even me she didn’t like, it was what I represented.”
“Believe me, I know!” Jason said, pulling her down the walkway toward her Toyota. “If she’d just found a Bunco game or a quilting circle or something to call her own…”
“Now Jason, we both know your mother had a hobby,” Sammy couldn’t suppress the laughter bubbling inside her. “Collecting employees/friends who would tell her what she wanted to hear and meddling in the lives of her children, under the guise of looking after them,” she straightened her face. “Please, if I ever try to do that with Corigan, smack me. Seriously, rough me up a little bit.”
“Sammy, you know I’d never--”
“Jason, promise me. I’m serious,” she said, her green eyes blazing into his.
“Fine, I promise,” he smiled. “I don’t understand it. She works so hard to raise us to be our own people, then it’s like she doesn’t trust us to make our own decisions about what’s best for us,” he finished, shaking his head and putting the car into gear.
“So what now?” Sammy asked, watching the car chew up the miles from Covington back toward home, a pensive look coming over her face, alerting Jason to something more beyond the surface of her question.
“We pick up where we left off,” Jason shrugged, completely serious.
“You mean before we walked in on Missy on your corduroy sofa?” she smirked.
“No, I mean, where we left off before my mother’s scheming got in the way of the future we’d planned together,” he answered, frankly, sliding his eyes to hers as the car coasted to a stop at a red light.
“What are you saying, Jason?” her voice was suddenly shocked and breathless.
“I’m saying we follow through on the promise we made to each other almost seven years ago. Marry me,” he pleaded.
“That’s not exactly the most romantic way to ask me, Jason,” Sammy laughed, but the way she said the words gave him hope.
“I’m under a time crunch here, Sammy. I have a trip booked to Vegas in a couple of days and I was hoping…,” he trailed off.
“We’ve only been back together a month! When did you book that trip?” the shocked look on her face was even more encouraging. He’d expected her to be angry.
“I want to adopt Corigan,” he confessed. “And I don’t know how much longer I can survive without you having my name, Sammy.”
“Wow,” she breathed. “I don’t know what to say.”
“I booked the trip the morning after I woke up in bed with your body wrapped around mine for the first time in six years. I hoped that I wouldn’t be making the journey alone.”
“You won’t be alone on that trip, Jason. I promise,” Sammy smiled, grabbing for his hand across the car console.
“Good,” he smiled back.
Epilogue
(5 years later)
Wind whipped through the evergreens surrounding the small cemetery as Jason helped Sammy from the car. Corigan chased after her baby brother as Sammy linked arms with her husband.
“Are you going to be okay, Jason?” she asked in her most soothing tone. “I know it’s been awhile since
you’ve seen her. Are you ready for this?”
“He was my dad, Sammy. I have to,” he said, sadly, looking at her softly.
“Okay,” she answered, moving her hand down his arm to entwine their fingers in a show of support. “I’m here.”
“I know, thank you,” he let a tiny smile form on his lips as Corigan led Jonah back to them, her brown curls falling over her face in frustration.
“Daddy, is Jonah part jackrabbit?” she asked, grabbing his other hand while keeping hold of her brother’s elbow.
“Jonah, you need to stay with us, honey. This isn’t a good place to horse around,” Sammy admonished, holding out her free hand for him to take his place beside her.
“Fine, mommy,” he pouted as they finally made their way to the fresh grave toward the rear of the cemetery.
**
Jason clutched Sammy’s hand through the services as he listened to the minister gloss over everything his father had accomplished during his years on this Earth. He gave her a sad smile as they walked toward the casket to say good bye.
“Good-bye, dad. I wish things could have been different these last few years,” he whispered.
“They could have been,” he heard his mother growl from behind him. “If you’d made the right decision, I mean,” she nodded her head at Sammy, who kissed his cheek and pulled her hand from his to guide their children away from the inevitable argument. Once they were out of earshot, he turned on his mother.
“You have another grandson, mom; don’t you want to know him? Isn’t it bad enough that dad didn’t get to meet him?” Jason asked, looking at the distance and pain in his mother’s bloodshot eyes.
“Not if it shares her DNA, Jason,” she answered, coldly, before backing away from the receiving line and walking away from her husband’s casket.
Jason walked to join his family as he watched her retreating form. Pulling them close to him, he kissed the crown of his son’s head. “It’s her loss, Sammy. It always has been,” he looked up at the sad look on his wife’s face.
“I just wish she’d find a way to escape her self-imposed purgatory, Jason. Regardless of what happened, she’s missing out on the lives of two amazing children because of me and my family,” she frowned.
“Well, all she has now is her scotch to comfort her,” Jason whispered. “And I know how empty that can leave a person.”
“Maybe she’ll get to know the next one,” she shrugged, patting the slight bulge in her belly, tears in her eyes for what might’ve been with her mother-in-law.
“If she doesn’t, Caleb’s parents will be more than happy to be there,” he said, taking her arm to lead her and his family back to the car. “Our kids want for nothing when it comes to love, Sammy. And if I have my way, they’ll never have to.”
“Speaking of,” Sammy said, drawing Corigan to her side. “Let go visit your dad before we leave, okay?”
“Okay, Mommy,” Corigan hugged her as they walked the familiar path.
Acknowledgements
First and foremost, I always have to thank my husband for reading everything I write, eventually, and for always being supportive of me and my endeavors. No book boyfriend could ever be as incredible as you.
Thank you to DiDi Names for editing this book and being the first one to read it cover to cover twice and still loving it. I’m so grateful to have a friend like you!
Thank you to Ronda for listening to me babble on about plot points and helping me work out what I wanted this story to be at 6:30am most days.
Thank you to all my readers, including Janna, who hated ‘Love but Never’, but still agreed to read for me, you have helped me shape this book into more than what I ever thought it could be.
Thank you to my family and friends who support me as I fumble through this process, but can’t stop writing. And thank you to my girls for never thinking I’m weird when I stop in the middle of whatever we are doing to write down a scene or dialogue that pops into my head- or if we are driving, being quiet so I can dictate it into my phone via voice to text.
The inspiration for this book came years ago from the music video for ‘Quiet Things that No One Ever Knows’ by Brand New. It was a difficult story to write and I got blocked more times than I can count! The bulk of this story was written during National Novel Writing month, because I was determined to finish it. After seeing the finished product, I’m so glad I did.
About the Author
Josie was born and raised in a small town in the Phoenix Metro area of Arizona. She has deep love and roots in both Washington and Ohio. Her passions include writing, reading, football and all things Ohio State related. She still resides in Arizona with her husband, two daughters, two unruly dogs, and one young-at-heart cat.
Email: [email protected]
Twitter: @leigh_josie
Blog: www.joeskatan.blogspot.com
See below for an excerpt from Josie’s next book:
Drama Free 2003
Lucas is unabashedly sexual. Although society’s rules would call her a slut, she’s never felt like one. She doesn’t have time for relationships or love, until one night pretending to date her friend, Brady, changes everything.
Brady is a divorced, single father. He never wants to fall in love again and makes an effort to keep his heart out of reach to everyone but his daughter, until he agrees to help Lucas show a member of her corral that she’s no longer interested. Who knew something so wrong on paper could feel so right?
Introduction
Lucas
“10!” Everyone starts the make shift countdown to midnight, staring at the second-hand of my living room clock. I’m positive that it’s fast and we are prematurely counting down the New Year, but it’s okay. At least this shitty year will be over, finally. 2002 was not a banner year, and I’m hoping that 2003 will be better. If it’s not, I swear to GOD, I’m leaving this God-forsaken state and moving far, far away. The thirty minute move to Tempe had helped, but not enough.
“5!” My eyes slide to my ‘date’ for the evening, a good friend who agreed to pretend to be my temporary conquest so Trevor would get the point that it wasn’t going to happen between us. My date is nice enough, if not a bit quiet. He’s good looking, too- short, brown hair, beautiful steel blue eyes, which are similar to my own, oval features, with a gash mark scar on the left side of his chin. He’s taller than me, but only by two to three inches, and I’ve learned tonight that I fit perfectly under his arm as we snuggle on the floor beside my living room window.
“1! Happy New Year!” my guests yell and turn to kiss their dates or hug the friend they came with. Trevor shoots me a hopeful smile and I turn to Brady and give him a nervous, but questioning, look. With a shrug, he pulls me close and plants a sweet kiss on my forehead before settling my head against his chest. “Here’s to a drama free year,” he whispers in my ear, as my face heats at my reaction to being so close to him. I can’t wipe the silly grin off my face at the kiss he gave me on my forehead. I know he’d never be truly interested in me. He’s seen me retreat to my bedroom during a party with far too many guys to really want to be with me. I’d be lying to myself if I said that before that moment, I’d ever considered being with him either.
Yet, through the course of the evening, something inside me had changed and he was all I could see. Trying to push the thought away, I did my best to enjoy the remainder of the party before saying good night to those not sleeping on my living room floor and collapsing on my, now, lonely queen sized bed. Is there a way I could get Brady interested in me, without compromising who I was? I doubted it. I was destined to be the girl that flitted from hook up to hook up, never able to find the guy she was really supposed to share her life with. I was okay with that, though, because it meant I never had to compromise what I wanted out of life because of someone else’s whims.
As I drifted off to sleep, a montage of the terrible year I’d just left behind skittered across my brain. I lost my grandma and childhood dog to cancer. My best friend to
a whore was supposed to be my friend, too. My first love was gone because I’d learned I couldn’t trust him. To top off the year that was like a giant sundae filled with poo, I’d been fired for the first time ever and forced to take a job nearly forty miles away from where I’d lived. The only good things that happened were my move from Southeast Mesa to Tempe, where I finally lived alone, and transferring to Arizona State after getting my Associates degree. Yes, 2003 needed to be the best year ever to wipe out the bitter taste 2002 still left in my mouth.
Chapter 1
“You’re late,” Amy, my supervisor, said as I ran into the back office to clock in.
“I know! I’m sorry!” I groveled, before straightening my tan blazer and walking around the back wall to the desk.
“You live across the street, Lucas,” she reminded me, as she handed me the shift checklist and motioned toward the registration forms. I’d had the name Lucas my entire life, but went by Lucy until I was in high school. Once the teen angst takes over, having a boy’s name was suddenly cool and didn’t get me made fun of anymore. Everyone who’d met me since high school called me Lucas, but my family and friends I’d had my whole life still insisted on calling me Lucy. “You know what that means don’t you?”