by Rachel Grant
She thrived on change, plus the frequent moves made it easier to accept being alone. She didn’t have to admit to being a porcupine in a human world. For six months after each move she could tell herself, I don’t have friends because I’m new here. And it didn’t even sound pathetic.
Vin had given her Gandalf five years ago, because he worried about his vagabond sister. He’d wanted her to have one constant in her life while he was off fighting for his country. When he’d taken the job with Raptor, he’d promised to stay in Alaska. Her plan had been to move to Tamarack after she had the PhD in hand. She’d finally have family again. A place to call home. A reason to make friends.
But that dream had died with the only person in the world who cared about her.
She’d moved here to find justice for him, and spent time with Nicole and Brad and the others because reaching out was necessary to make inroads into the workings of Raptor. But somewhere along the way, the friendships had become real. Not exactly deep, but genuine. She’d looked forward to the evenings at the Roadhouse with Nicole and Brad as the brightest spot in her long, isolated weeks.
And it had all been a sham.
Silent tears rolled down her cheeks. She couldn’t stop them; it took all her will to keep from sobbing aloud. She kept her head averted and hands on her cheeks, wiping away the evidence that grief and anger and hurt had caught up with her.
She hated showing emotions almost as much as she hated having them. She hated being weak.
She didn’t want Alec to know how fragile she was. He was the one who’d just discovered he’d killed a man. It was ridiculous for her to be the one breaking down.
Without a word, Alec stopped the car in the middle of the logging road and threw it in Park. He hit the release on her seat belt. “Come here.” He pulled her across the console and onto his lap.
That shattered her restraint, and a hard, pent-up sob escaped.
“Oh, honey,” he murmured against her hair as she pressed her face into his chest. “Caring about people is what makes life worthwhile.”
“That’s because you have people who care about you. Since my parents died, I haven’t had anyone but my brother.”
One large hand cradled her cheek, holding her against his beating heart. “You have me.”
She pushed off his chest and swiped at a tear with the palm of her hand. “I wasn’t fishing for that.”
A smile warmed his eyes even as his lips barely shifted. “I know.”
“You just like having sex with me. This isn’t real. You’re leaving in a few days. This—whatever it is between us—will be over.”
“Honey, I don’t like having sex with you. I love it. And no way in hell does this end when I return to Maryland, because this isn’t just about spectacular sex. Five days ago, I met this amazing woman. She dragged my sorry, beaten ass across a mile of forest and saved my life. Even after she realized she’d rescued the person she probably hated most in the world, she took care of me. Since then, I’ve gotten to know her. She’s dedicated and strong and fierce and bold. Add to that brilliant and funny, and how could I not fall in love with her?”
“You don’t—”
“Hush. I’ve been practicing delivering speeches a lot lately and think this one is pretty good for being off-the-cuff, but you’re ruining it by interrupting.”
She laughed even as more tears fell.
“I’m falling in love with you, Isabel Dawson. I wish to hell we’d met in a different time, a different place. I wish I’d asked Vin for your phone number when I had the chance. But we can’t go backward and all I know is I don’t want to move forward without you. This has happened fast, but then, when I know something is right, I move quickly. Like when I joined the Army. And I know in my gut this is the right thing.”
Tears ran freely as she held his gaze. Both fear and elation gripped her. “I don’t know how to do this. To love. To care. What if I’m not built for it?”
“Honey, you underestimate yourself so much. You care more about people than anyone I’ve ever met. The way you took care of me that first night proves it. And now your heart is breaking because you’ve been betrayed by at least one friend and maybe another, and you’re scared for a third. You have a bigger heart than you know.”
“It doesn’t freak you out that I’m not saying the words back to you?”
“I can wait. I love you. Now. Today. Just the way you are. My feelings aren’t dependent on you loving me back.”
“And if I can’t handle this and leave you tomorrow?”
“I’ll be devastated and miserable, but I won’t stop loving you.” He wiped her cheeks with his fingertips. “This isn’t a marriage proposal—it’s way too soon for that. It’s a relationship proposal. I want you in my life, by my side, to be the anchor that holds you in one place. Secure.”
His choice of words was perfect. She’d been adrift for so long, she needed an anchor. But not just any man could be that for her. Only one who was strong, determined, and focused. He needed to be a brilliant strategist, and someone who wasn’t put off by her prickly ways. Willing to hold her when she was sad, and make love to her when she was afraid. She needed a tiger with a weakness for hot chocolate. “Okay,” she said.
He tilted his head back and laughed. “Good thing I’m the only one in this relationship who needs to make speeches.”
A new fear gripped her, drying tears of joy and grief. “You don’t want me to campaign for you, do you? Because I’d be terrible at that.”
“The campaign is so shot to hell, I doubt it will matter. But no, if I somehow manage to salvage it, politics is my thing. It doesn’t have to be yours.”
“But isn’t politics all-consuming? A way of life?”
“That’s why I need you. If I win, you’ll keep me grounded. Prevent me from getting an overinflated idea of my own importance, and stop me from letting the politician become everything I am.”
She shifted in the seat so she could straddle him. Lightness had enveloped her, and she wanted to share it with him. She’d spent the last few days doing everything she could to hold herself back from him. She couldn’t tell him she loved him—not yet, not when she didn’t know if it was true—but she wouldn’t hold back from him, not anymore. She settled over him, and her knee hit the seat belt latch. It dug in just below the kneecap, but she didn’t care. She placed her hands on his shoulders and settled her crotch against his. His cock thickened, drawing a quick gasp of pleasure from her. “I know you’re rich and all, but I’m still going to work. You—us, this—can’t be all that I am.”
He slid his fingers in her hair and kissed her, a long, deep, slow exploration of her mouth that would curl her hair if she didn’t already have that covered. “I expect nothing less. How else are you going to pay for your half of dinner when I take you to Paris?”
She laughed and rocked her hips. He grew harder against her.
He pressed his pelvis upward, holding her waist as he ground against her. “Iz, I want nothing more than to forget everything and make love to you. Here. Now.”
She heard the unvoiced “but” and knew he was right. She kissed him one more time, then climbed off his lap. “Let’s go finish this.” Back in her seat, she buckled her belt and faced the forest road. Reality waited beyond the trees. “We have a crappy day ahead of us, don’t we?”
“Yes,” he said. His jaw stiffened. The fun was over. “Today could well be our very worst day.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
“I always knew Nicole was a suspect, but I never accepted it,” Isabel said. “Not really.” Sadness had crept back into her voice.
Alec gripped the wheel, internally berating himself for leaving Nicole in a position of power here. This too was his fault.
But he’d never suspected Nicole of anything until Thursday night, when he’d created a mental list of people who might have a beef with him as he lay awake and cold on the rotting cabin floor. But at the time, Nicole hadn’t even known she wasn’t getting the pro
motion, so why abduct him then? Plus it appeared she’d been doing this for at least a year—maybe longer. Was Vin the first victim? Or one of many?
Chase Johnston had to be another victim. The question was, how long had Chase been experimented on? Had he stalked Isabel of his own accord, or had he been tortured and brainwashed into it?
Alec’s memory of killing Godfrey had been buried. It wasn’t a stretch to think they were experimenting with mind control.
There was much more to this than Nicole being miffed because she’d been passed over for a promotion, but damn if he could figure out what her agenda was. “She fooled me too. I held her in the same place—a suspect, but not really. She passed the not-loyal-to-Beck test with flying colors. By all accounts, she hated Beck. The man hired only a few women operatives and made no secret of the fact it was to keep from being sued for equal employment opportunity violations. She was told point-blank she was a token hire.”
“Why did she stay, then?”
“She told me it was because it was just as hard for a woman to get a job at every other private security company. Even Apex has only poached male operatives. I doubt Simon Barstow has made her an offer, and she’s the highest-ranked woman in the company.”
“So she’s probably pissed at Barstow too.”
“A reason to implicate him, by using Airwave.”
“How would she get her hands on an Airwave weapon?” Isabel asked.
Alec shrugged. “At least half of Apex’s top staff has worked either with or for her. Someone might have sold it to her for the right price.”
They reached Tamarack, and he drove slowly down the main highway that cut through town. He pulled into an open parking spot directly in front of the ten-room motel. “We’ll talk to the agents, then head to the compound.”
“Shouldn’t we warn Keith about Nicole?”
“I already sent him a text. The message was coded, in case Nicole has access to my phone. She has access to all of Robert Beck’s toys, and the phone is one I grabbed from the compound supply locker after my secure one took a swim in the river. I haven’t had a chance to get Lee to secure the new phone.”
They found FBI Agent Matt Upton in his room. He immediately invited them in.
“We need to speak with you and Agent Crews,” Alec said.
“Agent Crews had to return to Anchorage this morning. Your timing is fortunate. I was just about to go to the compound.” Upton’s gaze landed on Isabel. His face was blank. Unreadable. “I’m afraid, Ms. Dawson, I need to question you again.”
Upton’s tone had a slight adversarial edge that had been absent yesterday. Unease slid down Alec’s spine. He must have read the Sun article. “Question her?”
“There’s been a new development in the investigation into your abduction. New evidence.”
“New evidence?” she asked in an apprehensive voice. “The newspaper article was hardly evidence.”
Upton glanced at Alec, then fixed his gaze on Isabel. “I’d like to question you alone.”
Alec adopted his command tone. “No.”
“You’re the victim, Mr. Ravissant. That doesn’t mean you can dictate the course of the investigation.”
“We don’t have time for this,” Isabel said. “Just question me now.”
Upton shrugged. “Explain to me how Ravissant’s blood ended up in your truck.”
Her brow furrowed. “Alec’s blood was in my truck? That’s impossible. I didn’t return to my truck after I tended his wound. It was impounded.”
“Yes. Impounded before you had a chance to hose out the back and wash away the evidence.”
“That’s ridiculous,” Isabel snapped.
“What I can’t figure,” Upton continued, “is how you moved him yourself. Who helped you?”
Isabel’s face turned a flushed, angry red. “No one. Because I didn’t move him—except to get him to the cabin. His blood must’ve been planted there by whoever abducted him.”
Upton stared at her. Finally, he said, “Right now, this case is looking pretty simple. You could easily have an ATV stashed in the woods somewhere. With your truck, you got him to the ATV. From there you got him to the rock where you let him bleed to lend credence to your story. We call that means. You had a beef with Ravissant. That’s motive. You knew he was driving in that day, and passing the very woods where you were supposed to be working. That’s called opportunity.”
“That’s ridiculous. Jesus, do you let the Sun do all your investigating, or did you just get lucky this time?”
Upton’s gaze turned cold. “The Sun article has no bearing on the investigation. This is about blood analysis, which came back with a match for Ravissant.”
“Alec was never in the back of my truck. Ever. And those woods run along the highway that happens to be the only road into Tamarack. I’ve done half a dozen timber sale surveys of parcels along that road in the last four months because the DNR plans to sell the logging rights next year. So it’s not too shocking or unusual that he or anyone going to Tamarack would drive down that road. And I didn’t know Alec was coming to the compound. If I had, I might have guessed who he was sooner.”
Upton’s gaze flicked to Alec’s, “Mr. Ravissant, it’s no secret you and Ms. Dawson have become involved. Right now, we must consider that this relationship has come about to further Ms. Dawson’s real agenda.”
“Bullshit!” Isabel said.
“That’s a load of crap, Upton,” Alec said.
“She wanted the compound shut down, and now it is,” Upton said.
“I wanted the compound closed down because no one was investigating my brother’s murder! The end goal wasn’t a shutdown. Why would I do such a thing?”
“Well, Ms. Dawson, aren’t you getting an investigation into your brother’s murder as well? Yesterday, Mr. Ravissant spent half his interview suggesting links between what happened to him and what happened to your brother.”
She looked at Alec. “You did?”
He gave a sharp nod even as he frowned. It was starting to feel like anything he said could be used against Isabel.
“Listen, Upton. I get what you’re saying but I didn’t do it,” she said. “We just came back from the woods. We found the cave!”
Upton cocked his head. “Is that true?” He asked Alec
Again he gave a sharp nod.
Did he believe Upton’s scenario? Hell, no. But if he dismissed the allegations too readily, it would just convince Upton he wasn’t taking the questions seriously, that he was blinded by his feelings for her.
“Given that the two of you are involved, and you can’t be objective where she’s concerned, the Special Agent in Charge wants me to bring Ms. Dawson to Anchorage.”
Upton’s statement only confirmed Alec’s concerns.
Isabel stiffened. “Bring me to Anchorage. You’re arresting me?”
“Will you go willingly?” Upton asked.
“Later, sure. But right now we need to get to the compound. We found the cave—we—”
Alec shook his head. If they told Upton about Godfrey now, he might arrest Alec. Or maybe assume Alec was covering for Isabel, because he had feelings for her. Which he did. But not because he’d Stockholmed. He needed time. He had every intention of telling Upton everything, but if the FBI agent and his superiors were focused on Isabel, then Nicole could very well get away with whatever it was she was doing.
“If you won’t go willingly, I’m authorized to arrest you. We have enough evidence.” Upton pulled out a pair of handcuffs.
“Wait! There’s no need for that,” Alec said
“Again, Mr. Ravissant, you have no say in how this investigation is run. I have orders. The SAC doesn’t want you together when it’s clear you have feelings for her. You aren’t objective and you’ll get in the way.” Upton pulled Isabel’s hands behind her back and slapped the cuffs on her.
Alec’s mind raced. He needed time to convince Upton to investigate Nicole. “You don’t have to take her all the way to An
chorage. Put her in the Tamarack lockup while we sort this out. I can take you to the cave. Explain things on the way.”
“Put me in the jail! Alec, I’m not a dog that needs to be kenneled.”
He gripped her biceps and kissed her forehead. “This way I’ll know you’re safe while we go after Nicole.”
“Safe. In jail.”
“What do you mean, go after Nicole? Is Markwell part of this?” Upton asked.
“Yes.”
“What evidence do you have?”
Alec frowned. “Absolutely nothing.” Hell, they didn’t even know if Nicole had been in the cave—if there’d be anything there to tie her to what had happened to him.
“I can’t work with nothing, Ravissant. My boss wants me to bring Dawson to Anchorage. If I don’t, I need more than vague speculation.”
“Do you really think Isabel staged all this?”
“It doesn’t matter what I think. It matters what the evidence can prove.” His gaze shifted from Alec to Isabel again. “I’ll give you one hour. We’ll take her to the Tamarack lockup, then go to the compound.”
The cell door closed, and Isabel watched Upton walk away. Outrage, frustration, anger all bubbled inside her. Very similar to how she felt the last time she’d inhabited this cell.
She sat down on the built-in bunk and rubbed a hand over her face.
She wished she knew what Alec believed. He’d kissed her again before she’d been brought to the back of the post, but his lips had been stiff, the kiss perfunctory.
Who was the kiss intended to fool, her or Upton?
Days ago, she’d feared being charged with Alec’s abduction, and this morning she’d been painted the villain by a Maryland newspaper. Now, with solid evidence against her, it was a real possibility.
Alec’s memories remained unclear. Even his belief that he killed Godfrey would likely never be proven, given the state of the man’s remains. His memories could be written off as a dream, as Vin’s had been. They could even claim she’d suggested the memories. Had manipulated him, seduced him so she could get close to him.