by Kate Wendley
And this morning… the look on his face with his glowing wolf eyes… His attention on her was intense, but maybe it was all in her head. Maybe he hadn’t been looking at her.
No, he was definitely looking at her, but did it mean anything? Maybe he looked at lots of women like that. Her heart didn’t like that thought.
She sighed as she tried to stay focused on her work, except Sebastian kept popping back up in her mind. She realized she was shaking her head and sat back for a minute to think. What did she think would happen if she ever actually talked to him? That he’d just be this perfect, nice, sweet, gentle man? He was the Alpha Wolf and she…
She was a woman who liked to think that the horrible times she turned jaguar were just a figment of her imagination.
Who was she kidding? Even if he decided to acknowledge what happened, they’d never work. They were from two different worlds.
**
Sebastian woke up to the sounds of a shower in the other room. Zach must be up. He looked around and realized he’d fallen asleep on the couch before making it back to bed this morning. It was a quarter after two in the afternoon and he finally felt rested, though now he definitely needed to get clean. He made a sandwich, then took the bathroom once Zach was done in there. He stripped out of his dirty, rumpled clothes and stood under the hot water for a long time. His muscles still felt tight, good, but tight, and he felt like he needed a good stretch or a good… something…
Gina came to mind, but the thought of her made him frown. She was a human he met years ago when he was struggling with his mind reading power. He purposely sought her out back when he was sick and tired of being on the outskirts of the supernatural community and wanted a woman of his own. She was always high on drugs so it didn’t matter that he couldn’t control getting into her mind because she never really understood that he was even there.
Except he felt worse and worse about himself every time he was with her. He had sex for the first time with her, but knowing she was the only kind of woman he could get close to pissed him off even more.
He took a deep breath and tried to forget about her. They’d used each other so he didn’t exactly feel bad about their relationship, just mad that he’d even had to resort to it in the first place. That was over eight years ago now, and Gina was long gone from his life.
Jade was still here, though. She’d been here this whole time and was maybe still single… so close but still miles away. Even though he could control his power now, his reputation for being an asshole was too burned into people’s minds.
After being shunned for so long when he first gained his mind reading ability, he eventually got cocky and started daring people to push him away. Since no one wanted to touch him, even to fight him, he’d become a real jerk. He purposely provoked people, acting like he could do whatever he wanted around home because no one dared try and stop him. At least until Anthony stepped in.
His life was different now, but his reputation never went away, though maybe that was because he still was an asshole.
He finished showering and got ready, trying to decide what to do for the night. He didn’t usually work on Mondays and he was hungry again. Shifting always gave him a huge appetite.
“Hey Zach, you want to go out for some pizza?”
“Sorry dude, I would but I have a meeting in half an hour. Maybe later?”
He waved it away. “No worries.”
He left the apartment and took the steps two at a time, wanting to get out of here and not think about shifters, mind reading powers, or anything supernatural for the day. As soon as he got down the vampire hall, though, he had a powerful urge to stay put. He scanned the restaurant but didn’t see Jade anywhere, or anyone else that would make him want to hang out. Nothing unusual seemed to be going on, either, so he left.
He drove to the Little Five Points neighborhood and sat on a sidewalk patio as he ate his favorite pizza with everything on top. It was a nice day to sit and people watch, but he kept feeling anxious to get back home. He racked his brain trying to think if he was forgetting about a meeting or something he was supposed to deliver for Anthony or the elders. He didn’t have any reminders or appointments in his calendar on his phone, so he tried to relax while he pretended to ignore the fact that there were other wolves seated near him and whispering about him being here.
The wolf owner nervously came by and asked how everything was.
“It’s good. You’ve got good pizza.”
A smile instantly filled the portly old guy’s face and Sebastian got uncomfortable. He wasn’t good at talking to people, and especially not people that seemed genuinely nice. That skill disappeared when he’d become the territory’s outcast. The man kept trying to make polite chit chat with him, though, eventually giving up and thankfully walking away.
When it was time for the bill, Sebastian found out it was on the house. He didn’t need his food to be on the house, but decided it might make the old guy feel good, so he graciously accepted it. On his way out he asked if they had a handful of business cards. “I’ll put them up at the club.”
The owner’s eyes lit up. “You’d do that? Really?”
Sebastian felt bad that he didn’t have a smile for him, but he just couldn’t muster it. It felt too weird. “Sure. Just keep making good pizza.”
The man patted him on his shoulder and nearly sent him into panic mode, but he kept his calm. The old wolf must have sensed his anxiousness, though, because he quickly averted his eyes and stepped away.
Sebastian drove back home still feeling like he’d forgotten about something. He wasn’t sure what, though. He went down to the apartment, intending to be lazy and read a magazine or watch some TV, but kept thinking about going back upstairs, instead. It was driving him crazy that he couldn’t figure out what was nagging him, so he tried not to think about it. Maybe his wolf wanted something… but what?
He didn’t feel like working on his night off, so he grabbed his laptop and settled in at the bar where he could wait for Jade to come in. As soon as he had that thought, he wondered why he’d had it. He wasn’t normally so obsessed with her, even though he fantasized about her a lot.
She was just so damn sexy. She was beautiful, but more than that, every time she moved it was like everything she did was effortless and graceful. She was a cat, so maybe that was part of it, but he didn’t think that was all of it. It was just her, and it was like she didn’t even realize how sexy she was.
A lot of his obsession was because she was a nice girl and had nice friends, people who were sincere and down to earth, just like her. Not that he ever talked to her, but he’d heard her talking to her friends as well as overheard the occasional gossip about her, usually from a guy that wanted to date her. She didn’t seem to ever date anyone for very long, though, and he’d never heard enough gossip to figure out why. Not that he wanted her to be taken.
An image of her walking out of the restaurant came to mind. As she made her way through the club to dance with her friends, she sashayed in the most innocent, sexy way…
He took a deep breath and sat down, then opened up his computer. He decided to putz around on the internet for a while and read some body building articles. He ordered more of his favorite workout shirts, then made small talk with Chester when he came to work behind the bar for the night.
**
Jade struggled to stay focused on work all day and was glad to finally be home, except she wasn’t sure what to do now. Her usual routine was to come home, put her things away and go downstairs to eat dinner and stalk Sebastian, then come back home and relax for the night. Did she want to see him again, though? Her body said yes, but her mind wasn’t sure. He scared her just as much as he turned her on.
Out of habit, she was already walking to the door to leave, so she decided to just go. He might not even be there. He wasn’t always there on Monday nights so maybe it didn’t matter after all.
Her heart raced when she saw him sitting at the bar looking at somethin
g on his laptop with Chester, the nice old wolf bartender. They were laughing in surprise at whatever they were watching, and Jade’s heart did a flip flop. He looked so cute and relaxed right now, just like she always fantasized about. He looked up and caught her eye, his gaze lingering on her for a time.
Her body clenched… The feel of his warm, strong arms around her was so fresh in her mind, his insistent nibbling on her neck, his body so relaxed in her arms… She had to look away to keep her calm.
She found a seat in the restaurant and got situated, and when she glanced back at him, he was just looking away from her. What did that mean? How come he didn’t say anything to her? Didn’t last night matter at all to him?
**
Sebastian and Chester laughed at a video of an owl and a cat playing as friends with each other. He stood leaned against the bar, facing the restaurant, hoping to see Jade when she walked in. When his wolf got anxious, he looked up in time to see her watching him as she walked into the club, a small smile on her face.
As he watched her walk by, he fought the sudden overwhelming urge to race up to her and take her in his arms. The intensity of his need surprised him. Why was he so obsessed with her all of a sudden?
His mood dropped when she sat all the way across the restaurant from him, as if to get as far away from him as possible. He mentally sighed and turned his attention back to the silly video.
He chuckled with Chester as the animals play fought, then kept ending up sitting next to each other like best friends. It was stupid, and cheesy, and cute. When it was over, Chester went back to making drinks, and Sebastian surfed the web some more. For some reason he couldn’t force himself to leave for the night, yet. He did have some errands to run now, but he couldn’t seem to pull himself away while Jade was here.
He decided to see if any bands were playing around town tonight. Maybe that’d distract his mind from Jade and how much he wanted her.
**
Jade nervously picked at her salad, unable to eat while Sebastian was here. She wasn’t sure what she expected from him, but getting nothing felt hugely disappointing. Eventually she decided to just go home and mope by herself. He still sat at the bar looking at his computer when she was ready to leave and she wondered if he’d even notice her go.
As if reading her mind, he instantly looked up when she was halfway through the restaurant. He only gave her a passing glance, though. He didn’t look at all like he wanted to possessively hold her again like last night. Whatever happened between them didn’t seem matter to him and she felt stupid for thinking it would. Why would he care about some low level jaguar who was scared of her own shadow?
She went home feeling betrayed. The Sebastian of her fantasies would never treat her like this. That Sebastian would’ve come over to her table, taken her in his arms, confessed his dying love and proposed to her on the spot.
She smiled at how ridiculous all that sounded, but kept fantasizing about it anyway. It helped ease her bruised heart to think that the Sebastian downstairs wasn’t the real him. The real him was the person she knew in her mind, the one who’d always be there for her. Not the overwhelmingly scary, sexy Alpha Wolf who made her mind race in circles thinking about what her life would be like if she had him to come home to every night.
Chapter 6
The smell of coffee lured Sebastian into the small kitchen at the back of their apartment after he showered and dressed for the day. Zach had his head in the fridge as he joined him.
He muttered in greeting, “Hey.”
Sebastian grabbed the coffee pot and poured himself a cup as he grunted back, “Hey.” He put some sugar and cream in his mug, stirred it in, then waited for it to cool off.
Zach moved on to the cereal cupboard, apparently undecided on what he wanted to eat. He pulled out a box of some nuts and flakes variety and looked a question at Sebastian. He nodded, so Zach dropped it on the table, then grabbed spoons and bowls while Sebastian got the milk.
He sat down and tested the temperature of his coffee, breathing in the enticing aroma while Zach settled down to eat.
“Heard you ran into Jade the other night and nearly knocked her down. There’s gossip in the club about it.”
Sebastian frowned in confusion. “What?”
Zach stared flatly at him. “You don’t remember running into her?”
He almost laughed. As if he’d forget running into his dream girl. “You’re serious? Jaguar Jade? When?”
Zach’s jaw tensed. He didn’t look like he appreciated Sebastian’s condescending smirk. “The night you came home after running at the ranch all day. She said you guys bumped into each other.”
His stomach dropped. He had fuzzy, vague memories of that night, and he had no idea why someone like Jade would make something like that up, so it couldn’t just be some bullshit rumor. It was for real and Zach was pissed. Shit. He’d never messed with Zach’s pack before and Zach was quick to kick some major ass when anyone did. He was zealously protective of each and every jaguar in his territory.
“I don’t remember, man, seriously. That night was a blur. Did I hurt her? She looked ok last night.” He kept his eye on Zach as he frantically tried to remember anything about coming home from the ranch, but he knew that was a lost cause. He’d run himself ragged that day and barely even remembered driving back to the club.
Zach’s eyes sparked and Sebastian went still. Zach was definitely pissed.
“She wouldn’t elaborate much. Just said you two bumped into each other and that you caught her before she fell. There’s gossip that it was a little more than that, though.”
A little more than that? What the hell did that mean? Shit. It might explain why he couldn’t get her off his mind yesterday, anyway.
He said as sincerely as he could, “Seriously, man, I don’t−”
“Make it right with her.”
He slowly nodded. “I will. I’m sorry for whatever happened and I’ll make amends.”
Zach nodded once and finally took a bite of his cereal.
**
Sebastian felt like shit as he went upstairs. He couldn’t do anything right lately. First he totally mind raped Anthony’s girlfriend and he couldn’t tell if things were ok between him and Anthony because Sebastian hadn’t really seen him long enough since then to ask, and now he maybe terrorized the girl of his dreams and Zach wasn’t happy about it. Shit. Who else could he piss off?
And the harder he tried to remember coming home from the ranch Sunday night, the more he wasn’t sure what was real and what were his usual fantasies about Jade. Dammit.
The one thing that kept him mostly calm, though, was the fact that even if he couldn’t remember the specifics, his wolf remembered his feelings from that day and night. He remembered feeling free and energetic while out in the sun and trees and dirt, then tired and satisfied when he came home. He wouldn’t feel satisfied if he’d just hurt the girl he cared most for, would he?
No. His wolf cared for her just as much as he did, even if they’d never be together. He’d come to terms with that long ago when he had to finally accept that his touching power was never going away and that people were afraid to be around him because of it. That was a hard one to deal with, but it was what it was, even though it still pissed him off.
He did some bookwork in Anthony’s office for a couple hours, went downstairs to let Anthony feed from him, then came back up to wait for Jade. He thought he should probably apologize to Oskar and Elsa, too, because he knew he was rude to them yesterday. They were mostly used to his grumpiness, though they were never totally relaxed around him. He supposed it wasn’t just because of his touching power, or that Torin always did his best to turn everyone against him. Sebastian knew his problems weren’t all everyone else’s fault. Even so, his life was just a ball of fun.
At seven o’clock he got nervous, wondering if Jade was here yet and what the hell he should even say to her. His heart thumped harshly in his chest when he walked over to the restaurant and imme
diately saw her sitting there. Her back was to him and she was thankfully alone. He knew he needed to go make things right with her, but he was so nervous he wasn’t sure how to go about it. He felt a little like he did all those years ago when he begged people to accept him even though he had a new, weird power.
His heart beat too fast and his emotions were on edge. He was nervous, excited, doubtful, and finally… mad. She probably thought he was an asshole, anyway. God, why did he have to do stupid shit as his wolf? It was like he purposely made his life harder for himself. Didn’t he already have enough to deal with?
He stepped up to her table from behind, giving it plenty of berth as he walked around and stopped on the opposite side. He stood uncomfortably in front of her, fully expecting her disgust at him trying to talk to her. He angrily decided he didn’t care what she thought of him. He didn’t care what anyone thought of him, he just needed to make nice since she was jaguar. If she were wolf, he wouldn’t even bother.
He stiffly said, “Hello Jade.”
She yipped in alarm and he immediately felt her nervousness, bordering on fear. Of course. Everyone was scared of him.
She awkwardly tripped over her anxious words. “Sebastian. Uh, hello sir.”
Hearing her say his name made him pause. He liked the sound of it rolling off her tongue.
**
Jade’s heart thumped anxiously as Sebastian stood right in front of her. And her cat was suddenly wide awake and aware inside her, too. She didn’t like feeling her cat because it made her senses more sharp, which only made her feel weird and inhuman. Sebastian didn’t look all that happy tonight, either. He looked like he’d rather be anywhere but here right now, and she wondered if it was because he was mad about what happened the other night. Was she supposed to have kept her hands to herself while he’d accosted her?
Her nerves twitched and she wondered what he’d do if she just ran away. Would he chase her?