by Erin Wright
He snuck a quick glance at Ivy, maybe to check if she was listening? Ivy leaned over and squeezed his arm, her silent affirmation that she was indeed listening to him. She didn’t want to derail him from his thoughts with words, though, instead choosing to simply be there.
Sometimes, you just needed someone to hear you.
“We graduated from high school and then…she didn’t want to go to the University of Idaho with me. Told me she wanted to stay back at home and just take a year off from school. She was burnt out on it.
“I understood, but it was hard because home was an hour away from the U of I, which meant an hour trip each way through deep snow in the dead of winter if I wanted to come home and visit her. I won’t lie and claim that I was thrilled with her decision, but I understood it.”
The trail narrowed for a moment, so Austin slowed down, letting Ivy go in front and duck under a few low-lying pine tree branches before they met up again on the other side. He continued, “One visit back home, my mom was acting weird. Her face was all red and her eyes were swollen and she just looked like shit, you know? I mean, I won’t pretend that I’m the most observant person on the face of the planet, but she just looked awful. When I asked where Dad was, she said he was back East, visiting relatives. Which was weird, because we don’t have any relatives back East, but she just clammed up after that. Wouldn’t answer a thing. It was like trying to nail jello to the wall.”
He let out a little laugh that turned into a sigh. “The next weekend, I came home again because even though it’d been a week, I hadn’t gotten any closer to getting an answer. I thought if I came home, I could demand an answer in person. Force the issue. I hadn’t had any luck the week before; I don’t know why I thought I’d have more luck the next week. Naïveté, I guess.”
He shrugged.
Her heart broke. She too had believed that life would always get better; that the bullies would finally leave her alone; that she’d finally be able to quit working as a waitress; that she’d…
Well, that she would be able to magically pay for a plane ticket back home.
Yeah, Ivy was the Queen of Naïveté.
“I heard them yelling before I even got out of the car. I was so confused. There’s my dad’s treasured guitar, lying out in the snow in the front yard. Out sails a painting of my dad when he was a toddler. The frame broke and scattered.
“I slammed the door of the car and took off running for the front door. I don’t know what I thought I could do – save my parent’s house from the thief who was apparently destroying things instead of just stealing them? I was in shock, and acting purely on instinct. If I could just get in the front door, I could make things better. Make things right.
“My parents turned and looked at me when I came running in, and we just stared at each other for a minute. I hadn’t told them I was coming home, and the shock of me showing up in the middle of their fight scared them into silence.”
He took a deep, haggard breath, rubbing the back of his neck as he stared off through the wintry woods. “They were getting a divorce. My dad had been cheating on my mom for years, and she’d finally caught him. All of the stupid, cliché stuff that you hear about but you don’t think would actually happen to your family? My dad admitted to it all. He’d been sleeping with the bookkeeper for our family farm. I’d always thought that she seemed a little too…friendly. Attached. Familiar with my father. But I didn’t know. I didn’t think…”
He took another deep breath and looked at Ivy. “You’re a really good listener,” he said quietly with a small chuckle that quickly died on his lips. “I didn’t mean to tell you all of this. I don’t tell people this very often.”
Ivy was pretty sure he meant, “Absolutely never,” but she didn’t say that. Instead, she squeezed his hand and said softly, “I’m hear to listen to whatever you want to say.”
He nodded slowly. “It wasn’t enough that this destroyed my family. One fell swoop, and my home and my parents…all of it was wrecked. No, it got much worse than that.” He sent her a tight smile. “I was once the heir to the largest spread in Kootenai County. I bet you didn’t know you were on a date with such a rich guy.”
“I honestly had no idea,” she said with a laugh, “but now that I know…” She winked at him.
His smile quickly disappeared. “I was the only kid. My parents struggled to conceive, and were lucky to even have me. My parents raised me, secure in the knowledge that I had a future. They insisted I go to college and get a bachelor’s degree, but once I did, the farm was mine. Lock, stock, and barrel. My parents had a small cabin that they were going to retire to. I’d give them a stipend every year until they died, as my payment for the farm, but the farm itself would be mine. That’s why I wasn’t willing to take that year off from college with Monica. She’d wanted me to, but I wanted to finish college and get on with the rest of my life, you know?
“Except, once my father’s infidelity was discovered and my parents started the process of getting a divorce, things got really ugly really fast. The belongings on the front lawn were only the beginning. Quickly, they devolved into physical fights and the judge ordered them to have no contact with each other outside of the courtroom, except through their attorneys. Neither parent acted better than the other one; they were both awful.”
His mouth pinched, and Ivy knew that wherever this was going, it was about to get there, and it wasn’t going to be pretty when it happened.
“The judge ordered the farm sold and the proceeds divided between my parents. They couldn’t agree how to settle it otherwise, so it was just sold instead. And with it, my inheritance disappeared. They didn’t offer to give me part of the sale of the farm so I could buy another one; they couldn’t even agree to let me buy it from them. It went to some ten-gallon hat wannabe who drove the farm into the ground within three years. It went up on the auction block last spring. That was a rough day.”
He let out a bitter laugh. “And yet, that isn’t even all.”
Ivy drew in a sharp breath at that. How was that not all? What else could there poss—
Oh. Monica Something Or Another. He still hadn’t explained why he wasn’t married to his childhood sweetheart.
“I drove to Monica’s house the day I found out that my parents were selling the farm and I was inheriting nothing at all, and she listened as I ranted and raved. She seemed off that day, but I wasn’t exactly in a happy place myself, so it was hard to say what was going on in her head. I received a small package in the mail a few days later – it was her engagement ring. She no longer loved me. I heard through the grapevine that she was dating the son of the owner of the second largest spread in Kootenai County within weeks.”
Their horses slowed, and then stopped. The air was still. No bird, no insect, no breath of wind dared to disturb them.
“I thought I’d found the woman of my dreams. The woman I was going to marry. And…she was a gold digger. Once I had no money, she magically had no love.”
He shrugged and smiled a small smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Declan was my roommate up at the U of I; he’d moved up there after he’d broken up with Iris. We were roommates for a year before he graduated.”
“Do you know why he broke up with Iris?” Ivy broke in. “She never could get him to give her a straight answer.”
“Nope. I didn’t understand it then, and now that I’ve seen them together, I really don’t understand it. They seem pretty darn perfect for each other.”
Ivy grimaced. “It took me a while to change my mind on that topic,” she said dryly, “but yeah, watching them together…they make a great couple. They always had. It was that fifteen-year hiatus in the middle that lost me. Iris has gone through a lot, and it makes me happy to see her find happiness again.”
She drew in a deep breath and said quietly, “I’m really sorry to hear about Monica. She sounds like a real piece of work. To lose your parents and your livelihood and your childhood sweetheart all in one fell swoop…I
can’t imagine.”
He let out a humorless chuckle. “I’m not gonna say it was the easiest thing in the world to go through, but at least I didn’t have bullies pushing me around my whole life.”
“Yeah, but at least my parents are still together and if my father is cheating on my mom…well, there’s literally no hope left for humanity. I think it would be more likely that Idaho disintegrates in a nuclear attack in the next five seconds than my father cheat on my mom.” They both paused dramatically, waiting for the explosion, and then Ivy laughed. “See? We’re both still alive.”
They paused again this time, and just stared at each other for a minute. “Thanks for listening,” Austin finally said. “I feel better already.”
“That’s what friends are for,” she said with a shrug and a wink. “But to be honest, I find this part of humanity fascinating. It never fails: When I meet someone, their life appears to be perfect. It isn’t until I really get to know someone that I realize how much shit they’ve gone through. How much each of us wades through in life.”
“When I met you at your parent’s house, I thought you led a pretty perfect life,” Austin agreed, chuckling. “You have great parents, a sister – I always wanted a sibling! – and this really supportive community. I had no idea what that community had done to you.”
“If it makes you feel any better, pretty much no one knows what this community has done to me.” They turned around and started heading back up the trail. The sun was starting to sink towards the mountains, and it wouldn’t do to be out at night on this trail. “Some people knew I was miserable, but I never told anyone about the art closet incident. Not even Iris.”
He looked over at her, eyes somber. “Thanks for your trust in me. It means a lot that you told me.”
“Well, if I’d known you were going to try to beat me with the gold-digger story, I would’ve made my story more dramatic!” she said teasingly. “Always have to come out on top.”
He winked. “Sometimes, I don’t mind being on bottom.”
She wasn’t gonna lie, she wasn’t quite sure she could breathe correctly after that.
Chapter 16
Ivy
“Three, two, one, Happy New Years!!!”
Declan blew on his plastic horn while Iris threw confetti in the air. Wyatt and Abby were busy tongue-dueling, Adam was discussing exercise regimens for horses with Stetson, and Austin…
Ivy looked up at him to find him staring down at her, grinning hugely, his normally bright green eyes dark with lust. “Happy New Years,” he whispered, before pulling her against him. He nestled her soft body against his hard planes, and as she looked up at him, she was sure her eyes were dark with lust too. He was sex on a stick – the cutest guy she’d ever dated, by far.
And as their lips met, she mentally allowed herself to claim the idea that they were dating. Although she’d fought it originally – it was supposed to be revenge on Tiffany and Ezzy, nothing more – that had somehow disappeared.
With a groan, Austin buried his hands in her hair and tilted her head to the side so he could gain better access to her mouth. She groaned back, feeling electricity dance over her skin. She couldn’t breathe; didn’t want to breathe; only wanted to feel.
“My place?” Austin murmured when he’d pulled back just a hair.
“Yes please,” Ivy whispered back. She knew what he was asking, and she was saying yes. Yes, with all of her heart and soul.
She’d finally realized that no Christmas miracle was coming. No New Year’s Eve fairy was going to save her sorry ass. Come morning, she was going to have to tell the world everything. Come clean. Fess up.
But tonight was one last night to enjoy what she had. No condemning looks, no yelling, no disappointment. For one last night, she could pretend to be a successful artist who was on top of the world.
She’d deal with reality in the morning.
Chapter 17
Austin
He woke up slowly, fighting his way through the layers. He was happy. Very happy. He didn’t know why, but he was.
Something soft and warm was in his bed. He snuggled closer, his dick waking up before his brain did. Hmmm…it smelled good. Like chocolate and cinnamon.
His eyes popped open. That “it” was Ivy. He’d brought her home last night and they’d made love, slow and sweet, in his bed.
Which she was still in.
Which his dick was very happy about, and his brain wasn’t far behind. He pushed her hair out of the way, nuzzling the back of her neck and breathing in deeply. She smelled like chocolate and cinnamon and sex, which had to be the most potent aroma in the world. He began kissing his way down her soft, white back, each kiss bringing him closer to—
“Urgh.” The grunt emanated from Ivy, and made Austin chuckle to himself. He’d wondered if Ivy was a morning person, but until now, hadn’t had a chance to find out for sure.
He was beginning to guess Most Definitely Not.
He began working his way back up her spine, intending to nuzzle her neck again, when she sat straight up in bed.
“Oh,” she said, looking at him. Her face crumpled, and Austin watched, concerned, as a flurry of emotions crossed her face. Panic? Anger? Worry? He couldn’t tell. He opened up his mouth to ask her what was wrong and then she was shooting out of bed, grabbing her clothes off the floor. “I have to go. I have to go right now. I can’t be here.” Her voice was trembling and her fingers didn’t seem to be cooperating, because she was only managing every other button or so on her shirt.
“What’s wrong?” Austin finally got in. He couldn’t think of what would cause her to react this way. She’d seemed awfully happy to be in his bed last night. Was she having morning-after regrets? That couldn’t be it. How could she regret such a beautiful event?
She was frantic, not focused, not making sense. “I gotta go,” she said, not looking him in the eye, and then she was gone, running down the stairs, clomping on each step in her untied boots, and the front door was slamming closed and she was gone.
Austin stared at the bedroom door, still hanging ajar in her wake.
What the hell just happened here? He blinked three times, consciously and slowly, hoping to reset his brain or the world or something.
But instead, he heard the squealing of tires as Ivy tore out of his driveway in her sister’s borrowed car. She’d insisted on driving to his house last night, separate from him. Had she known all along that she wouldn’t want to be there come morning?
Had she planned to run out of the house like her ass was on fire?
He didn’t know, and didn’t know how to begin to find answers.
Chapter 18
Ivy
She made it into the parking lot of the library before she pulled over and began to sob. Huge, body-wracking sobs that made it hard to breathe and she didn’t know what to do or say or go, or how to be.
She’d known this day would come. For almost a month, she’d done a mighty fine job of ignoring reality. Between telling herself that a Christmas miracle would come along to save her sorry ass, and just plain being good at ignoring what she didn’t want to think about, she’d made it through this stay in Long Valley without confronting the truth.
She was stuck a thousand miles away from home, without a way to get there, and the only thing left to do was to throw herself at the mercy of her parents. She had to tell them the truth. Them and Iris and Austin.
She didn’t want to. Oh, how she didn’t want to. She’d spent the last month trying to figure out how to avoid exactly this situation and yet…she hadn’t come up with a solution. Not even a partial one. Not even a really awful one.
There was no out, except with honesty. She had to admit that she was a failure in every respect. It was after midnight, her carriage had turned into a pumpkin, and there was no fairy godmother to save her.
Everyone would hate her, of course. How could they not? She’d done nothing but lie to them for years now. And Austin…he’d never forgive her. Runnin
g out on him like that; misleading him all this time. He was finally going to know the truth about her.
Everyone would.
In the midst of the waterfall of tears, the thought bubbled up to the surface that she couldn’t ignore, that she couldn’t reason away: Why had she become an abstract impressionism artist?
She forced herself to truly ask herself that; to get an answer for it and not just skim over it and move on like she had been.
Looking back on it, that was the biggest lie of all – the lie to herself. Truthfully, she hated the abstract movement. When she’d been sitting in the classroom, her art teachers showing the styles up on the projector, deriding plebeian art styles like landscapes, she’d nodded and followed along.
She’d wanted to fit in. It became crystal clear to her in that moment, everything clicking into place. Her whole childhood, she’d stuck out like a sore thumb. She and Long Valley just didn’t get along. She’d wanted to go somewhere else, where cool people lived. Not these hicks who decorated with ceramic pigs. She’d wanted to be part of the “in” crowd, and be loved.
Not loved for who she was, because she hadn’t really known who she was back then. How could someone love her for her, if she didn’t even know who “her” was?
But loved nonetheless. Some kind of love was better than scorn and ridicule and hatred and bullying. Some kind of approval was more than she’d ever gotten before.
And so she’d spent fourteen years, chasing this love and approval. All for what? So she could be living below the poverty line, struggling to eek out a living as a waitress in a diner for a boss who was a dick to her, all so she could chase the dream of doing something she didn’t even want to do?