by Bella Andre
Yet did it change what was right for Paige? Did it change how badly he could still hurt her?
“Have you said hi to your mom yet this morning?” While Paige referred to her as Theresa, same as he did, Susan wasn’t afraid of calling her what she was.
“Tony said she’s packing up.”
Susan pushed him toward the door. “Why don’t you go tell her breakfast is almost ready?” Then she called, “Tony, you have dibs on the first batch. Get in here. And bring your sister with you.”
Susan. God, she made him smile. She always knew what was best. And never failed to let her brood know what they needed to do.
Tony practically galloped past him, Kelsey close behind.
And he found himself alone in the dining room with Theresa, who had emerged from her bedroom.
Susan might have engineered it, but he still could have turned around and followed everyone right back into the kitchen. Yet there was a part of him that acknowledged it was time.
He rested a hand on the back of a chair and said, “Have you enjoyed yourself this weekend?”
Theresa looked more than a little surprised by this, as if she hadn’t expected Evan to seek her out. But it wasn’t just Susan’s push. It was the things Paige had reminded him of last night in the bar. That Theresa had had to make a choice. If she’d tried to take him, his father would have made sure none of them escaped. In making him acknowledge that out loud, Paige had opened something up inside of him. Something small, perhaps, but it was a widening crack nonetheless.
“I have. Susan and Bob—they’re wonderful.”
“They are.” Theresa couldn’t know the half of it.
“And so is Paige. You seem so happy when you’re with her. She makes you smile.”
She almost sounded like a mother, telling him she approved of the girl he had a crush on. It was instinctual for his ruff to go up—she had no right to act “motherly.”
But how could he deny the way Paige made him feel? She was wonderful.
And he was so damned happy when he was with her, even if there were a million reasons he should keep his distance.
“Paige has always made me smile.” He couldn’t stop his gaze from gravitating to her through the kitchen door, and his heart flipped in his chest when she laughed. He’d never felt anything like this before, not with anyone. Only her. He forced his attention back to Theresa. “I’m glad we did this trip. It was great that you could meet Susan and Bob.”
Her eyes went misty with pleasure at his words—and an obvious longing for more. He knew what she wanted, for him to say he understood her choices. That he forgave her.
Words he wasn’t sure he could ever say. Just as he wasn’t sure he could say I love you to Paige.
The growing tension broke when Tony walked into the dining room with a stack of pancakes that rivaled the leaning tower of Pisa.
“Better get in there,” Evan said, “before they’re all gone.” And then he held an arm out, showing Theresa the way.
Somehow, it seemed symbolic.
The meal, as usual, was fabulous. After the lacking in their past, when they’d struggled to put enough food on the table for all the growing boys they’d lovingly invited to share their home, Susan and Bob now made sure everyone’s plates were always full.
“These pancakes are to die for,” Kelsey enthused. “How do you make them so light and fluffy?”
Susan whispered the secret recipe. Even Paige leaned in to hear.
She hadn’t taken the seat next to his. Which was probably a good thing because he’d never be able to keep his hands to himself. She could have pushed him, used his desire against him, but that was never Paige’s way. And yet, even on the other side of the table, his fingers actually tingled with the memory of how soft her skin was. With each bite of pancake smothered in syrup, he tasted Paige’s sweet lips.
And the war raged on inside him. All the things he wanted from her, wanted to give her. Versus the insurmountable reasons why he couldn’t have her. If he hurt her—when he hurt her—he’d never be able to live with himself.
“We’ll help you with the dishes,” Tony said when they were all stuffed.
“We won’t hear of it.” Susan flapped her hand. “You’ve got a plane to catch.”
Kelsey shot a glance at Evan. “I’m pretty sure that Evan’s plane can take off whenever he wants.”
Susan tutted and wouldn’t be talked into any help. “Take your coffee into the living room. Evan, can I have a quick word with you before I let you all go?”
Uh-oh.
His stomach actually fell. Then he glanced at Paige. Found her gaze on him. And somehow, everything settled inside him. They might be walking on glass, but she was so very there for him exactly when he needed her.
“I have something for you,” Susan said as she led him down the hall to her sewing room, where she retrieved a box from the closet, set it on a dresser, then pulled the lid off. “Do you remember this?”
A small plastic dinosaur sat on her palm. It was something Noah, Matt’s son, would have loved. A T-Rex, its jaws open in a big roar.
“I remember,” he said, his voice so soft he wasn’t sure he’d spoken aloud.
“You brought it with you when you came to us. You didn’t bring any other toys, just this.”
He hadn’t had any other toys. And the dinosaur wasn’t a toy. It was a memory. He felt a tightness in his chest. “I’d forgotten about it.”
“I always thought it had something special to do with your mom. Maybe it’s time for you to take it back.”
He wasn’t ready for it. Wasn’t ready for the memories. But he took it anyway, slipping the small dinosaur into his pocket.
“You can talk about it whenever you’re ready, honey.”
“Thanks,” he said too quickly, almost as if he had to cut her off.
“I also wanted to say something else.”
He laughed, maybe a bit too loudly. “You always have something else to say.” And what she said was always spot on.
“Paige is good for you. Really good. And I know you.” She poked his chest. “You’ve been telling yourself that you’ve somehow stepped over to the dark side. The wrong side of right and wrong.”
“Mom,” he said, trying to head her off.
But Susan headed exactly where she wanted to go. “I’ve got eyes in my head, honey. I see the way you look at her. And the way she looks at you. Especially after last night.”
God. She wasn’t going to talk about sex. Please, no. And yet what he’d done with Paige was not just sex. It was so much more.
“I know I don’t need to have this talk with Paige. You’re the one who needs to hear what I have to say. I see how much you’re struggling. You can’t look at her, but you can’t look away either.”
“Mom,” he said again.
“Paige is such a wonderful woman, in every way. You had your eyes set on the wrong sister from the very beginning.”
How utterly right she was. And the words just seemed to burst right out of him. “I never felt like that with Whitney. Last night was…” He didn’t have adequate words to explain the full joy of having Paige lying so close to him, her heart beating against his. Of being with her at last. Even the simple act of holding her. “Nothing has ever meant so much.”
Susan touched his arm. “I know. It was written all over you when you walked in this morning.”
“But it can’t be right.” His voice felt harsh in his throat. “She’s my sister-in-law. I’m not even divorced yet.”
Susan laid her hand on his chest. “You’re divorced in here.” She patted right over his heart. “Nothing you feel for Paige is wrong. You aren’t cheating.”
“The world isn’t going to see it that way. And I’ve got too much freaking baggage to dump on Paige.”
“You know I believe in second chances. But they’re not always easy. Sometimes, taking the risk for that second chance seems impossible.”
Evan wondered if she was talking only ab
out his falling for Paige—or also about second chances with his birth mom. He thought of the small dinosaur in his pocket.
“And sometimes,” she continued, “it’s the hardest road you’ll ever walk. Hard, but worth it. Of all my boys, you’re one of the strongest, Evan.”
Evan was surprised at that. He’d never been the Maverick who had his fists raised.
She tapped her hand over his heart again. “Here. You were so tough that it took us years to get through, to prove to you that we loved you. So tough you refused to give up on your marriage when anyone else would have walked out long ago. And you’ve always been toughest on yourself, even now, when you’re thinking about giving up the best thing that’s ever happened to you.”
“You and Bob are the best thing. And the Mavericks.”
“We were,” she agreed. “But now you have a chance for even more.” She didn’t add for true love with Paige, but he heard the words as clearly as if she’d shouted them through a megaphone.
Chapter Twenty-Five
It was still early afternoon on the West Coast when Evan’s plane landed in San Francisco.
They all stood out on the tarmac saying their thank-yous and good-byes. Evan had hired a car to take Tony, Kelsey, and their mother back to Modesto. The twins intended to stay for the evening and return to San Francisco later that night.
“It was so good getting to know you better.” Paige gave Theresa a heartfelt hug. Then the twins.
Evan’s hug for his siblings was easy. He clapped Tony on the back and actually placed a little kiss on the top of Kelsey’s head. It was so darn adorable, Paige’s heart felt a huge tug. But Theresa? Paige had witnessed their conversation in the dining room, and though she hadn’t been able to hear it, she’d known instinctively that it was a start. And now Evan hugged Theresa, though their arms were wide, as if to keep contact to the bare minimum. But Paige wasn’t about to get picky on the kind of hug, because at least there was one.
Shoulder to shoulder, they waved as the car carrying his siblings and mother pulled away.
So what now?
Her heart was screaming to know.
They’d made beautiful love over and over at the hotel. But she’d promised herself she wouldn’t be a pushy female who kept asking, When will you call? And most of all, When will you finally realize you love me too? She hadn’t clung to him, hadn’t tried to lay claim to him in front of his family, hadn’t pressured. In fact, she’d tried almost too hard, to the point of practically ignoring him from the moment they’d arrived at Susan and Bob’s until now. But she also hadn’t missed a single one of the looks he sent her, looks that told her he wanted to touch her, kiss her too.
But was that enough?
She’d laid her heart on the line last night. She hadn’t expected him to say he loved her back. In fact, she would have been shocked if he had. But there was a part of her deep inside that had hoped. And that was terrified of having her heart trampled if Evan never came around. If he couldn’t let go of his fears or his past enough to actually figure out that they were meant to be together for more than a night. For more than lovemaking. She wanted a lifetime.
“Well,” he said in the deep voice that always made her feel hot all over. “That went just fine.” He smiled when she shot him a look. “I know. You hate that word.” And finally, he laced his fingers through hers. “I was wondering if you’ve got the next few hours free.”
Her heart soared off into the sky. “I do.”
“Then let’s take another flight.” He turned, leading her back onto the plane.
“Another flight? Where are we going?”
He helped her into the seat she’d occupied on the way back from Chicago. “It’s a surprise.” He put a finger to her lips as she opened her mouth to ask more questions. Taking the seat beside her, he said, “I want to do something special for you after all you’ve done to help me.”
“You don’t need to do anything for me.”
“I do.” He poured more champagne. “Last night was beautiful. But I need to do something just for you. I want to do something for you. Take you to a very special place.”
She wanted to cry. She wanted to throw herself at him. She wanted to forget every single one of the worries that had been running through her mind all morning. He wasn’t saying he loved her. But he was giving her something wonderful—a few more precious hours with him.
They landed in Monterey, only half an hour’s flight time from San Francisco. She smiled, laughter lacing her words. “What are we doing here?”
“Hush,” he said, his finger on her lips again, as if he needed an excuse to touch her. “Let me surprise you. Let me give you something for all you’ve done.”
Then he ushered her into a waiting limousine, sitting close, her hand clasped in his.
Her heart was fluttery with emotion, with need. She wanted to cup his cheek, turn his face to hers, and kiss him until he couldn’t deny that what he felt for her was as momentous as her own feelings. And yet she wanted simply this, her hand in his, a surprise awaiting her.
After leaving the airport, they headed south on Highway 1. The weather was gorgeous, the sun bright, the sky clear, and the temperature in the low sixties. January could be a rainy month, broken up by gloriously sunny, relatively warm days. Vastly different than Chicago, though that certainly had its own appeal too. South of Carmel, their driver took a private road out to the coastline.
“What are you planning?” Her smile bubbled through.
“Something you’ve always said you wanted to do.”
The limo stopped at the end of the road, and Evan took her hand as she climbed out. The driver came around the hood and handed him a small package. “Per your instructions, sir.”
Evan smiled his thanks, then said, “Down here,” pulling her through a couple of fence posts and out onto a dirt path they followed to the cliff edge.
“What is this place?”
Hand in hand, they descended a few steps cut into the rock until they reached a bench on a small plateau to the left of the path. “A friend of mine owns the land.” He waved south. “There’s a cottage over there.” Then he pointed down to the ocean below. “And these stairs lead down to a private beach.”
It had been windy up on the cliff, but the bench they sat on was sheltered in the cleft of the rocks, and the heat of the sun warmed her through her jacket. Evan warmed her hands. And her heart.
“It’s beautiful. And peaceful.” The sun sparkled on the ocean, and the sound of the waves drifted up to them. Seagulls squawked overhead, diving down to the beachhead below.
“I knew you’d like it.”
“It’s perfect, Evan. Thank you.”
He unwrapped the package the driver had handed him. She was stunned to see a pair of binoculars.
“You always said you wanted to go whale watching. But you never have. And this is the perfect time of year. The gray whales are heading down to Mexico to calve.”
“Oh my God, Evan.” Without the aid of the binoculars, she stared out to sea. Then she saw it, a spout of water high into the air. Then another and another, like the bursts of a string of steam engines cruising by. “Look! They’re out there.” She could make out their dark shapes in the ocean, beyond the waves.
“Try the glasses.”
She could barely suppress her eagerness as she grabbed the binoculars from his hand. The ocean was the deepest blue-green, the whales like a cavalcade through the waves. “Oh Evan, this is so amazing. They’re gorgeous. And so mighty. So powerful and perfect.” They seemed close enough to touch through the lenses.
“We’ll come again toward the end of February, when they’re heading north again with their calves. They swim much closer to shore then to protect their young from the sharks, and they’re slower too, because of the babies.”
“Yes, oh yes. We have to.” She hugged the binoculars to her chest, watching the procession with the naked eye, overcome by the beauty of nature right before her. “This is so much be
tter than being on a boat with a bunch of strangers. We’ve got our own private overlook.”
Then she looked at him and felt the immensity of what he’d done for her, the tenderness in his gaze, the joy of having his body so close to hers, sharing this moment with her. “Thank you so much. You didn’t need to do this for me, but I’m so glad you did.”
“I needed to do something for you, just you. Remember that special we watched on PBS? You said you’d never made it down here to watch the migration, but that it was just as good to watch it on TV.”
“I was wrong. It is so much more magnificent out here.” When had they watched that show? It had to have been years ago. Maybe three or four. Yet again he’d been listening to her, storing up her likes and preferences. “You couldn’t have given me anything better.” In a way, it was like telling her he loved her. Just without the words. And it renewed all her hope that he could eventually say them.
“Here.” She shoved the glasses at him. “You have to look too.”
They sat there for an hour, maybe more, exclaiming every time there was a huge spout, pointing out new sights to each other. “Oh look,” she cried out. “There’s a school of dolphins too.” She had never felt so special. Or so appreciated.
“Are you hungry?”
“Not if I have to miss a moment of this.” A moment of sitting here beside him, sharing this special event he’d planned just for her.
He laughed. “You can have both.” Fishing his cell phone out, he made a call.
Minutes later, their driver, carrying a big basket, passed their little nook in the rocks. He disappeared down toward the beach below them.
“What have you arranged now?” Her heart raced just contemplating his next revelation.
“Another surprise.”
She adored his surprises.
He’d gone to so much trouble. And when had he organized it all? Yes, she’d seen him on the phone during the flight, but she’d thought that was work. She didn’t ask, though. It was somehow more special to simply accept that he’d been thinking of her all day.