by Augusta Li
“Thanks, Reg,” Querry said. Content and a little tipsy, he already envisioned certain advantages to living in his friend’s house. “We’ll stay out of sight, and we won’t be any trouble.”
“You can’t stay forever,” Reg said. “And you can’t go back to that boarding house. Thimbleroy or whoever searched your room will be looking for you. What will you do?”
The thief considered, though the matter didn’t feel particularly pressing at the moment. For the next month or so, he had shelter, plenty of food, and the company of his lost love. “Hard to say. Save some money. Look for a new place eventually.”
“You’re infuriating! You two won’t be safe in the city! They’ll be looking for you and Frolic!”
“I’ll have to make sure they don’t find us, won’t I?”
“Querry, when are you going to face reality and grow out of this bugger-the-world phase?” Reg said, slapping the table so hard that the dishes shook.
“When the world stops trying to bugger me!” Querry’s voice rose with his anger. “What reality do you want me to face, Reg? The rest of my life in a factory? A dull wife and a brood of children I can’t feed? No, thank you! I’ll take a few years of freedom over thirty of misery.”
“And you’re so happy living in that little room, with the noose just a few steps ahead of you?”
“What choice do I have?”
“Well, you could apprentice yourself. Learn a trade.”
“The trades are dying out, Reg. Nobody’s going to wait a month for a hand-carved chair when a factory cranks out a hundred a day. And I won’t take orders and sweep up at a blacksmith or a bakery. Why should I?”
“Has it occurred to you, Querry, that it’s not just you any longer? You’re putting Frolic in danger now too.”
“Nonsense. Nobody knows what he is or where he came from. They think he’s a faerie. How in the world will anyone ever find out—”
All of Querry’s organs felt like they melted. Cold sweat sprang from his pores.
“What is it?” Frolic asked. “Querry?”
“The book,” Querry panted. “It wasn’t there. They got a hold of it, and my notes in the back. They’ll break the code. Fuck me, they’ll know everything!” He leapt to his feet, pacing and rubbing the back of his neck. “What am I going to do?”
“What book?” Reg asked, standing also. “What are you talking about?”
Coming around behind Frolic, Querry gripped his arms possessively. “Reg, I need you to help me. Help me, and I’ll never ask you for anything again. I’ll go away and leave you, if you want. I’ll never bother you again.”
“You’re scaring me, Querry. Tell me what’s going on. What is this book?”
“When I found Frolic, he had a book with him. It was all written in this weird code. That’s why I asked you for the ink and paper, so I could try to translate it.”
“And what’s in this book?” Reg asked nervously.
“Everything!” Querry shouted. “Everything about how he was made, how he works. He wanted me to figure out what he was for. Except I never made it to the end, never found out. But Thimbleroy will! He’ll have teams of people working on it!”
“And now he’ll know that I’m what he’s looking for,” Frolic said.
Nuzzling his face into the top of Frolic’s hair, Querry said, “I’ll protect you. I’ll find a way, I promise.”
“I love you, Querry,” the doll said in a shaky voice.
Querry looked up and met Reg’s eyes. It was time he knew. “I love you, too, Frolic.”
Eyes wide, Reg stammered, “You, you mean—”
“I’m not ashamed,” Querry said. “He’s no different than you or I, Reg. No different in any way.”
“Oh, Querry. How could you?”
“We haven’t done anything wrong. We make each other happy. What does it matter if we were made differently?”
“It matters, and you know it,” Reg said.
“Not to me,” Querry said. “And it hasn’t changed the way I feel about you. I wanted you from the time we were boys, before I even knew what I was feeling. I love you, Reg, and I always will. And I need your help. Please.”
“What can I possibly do?” Reg asked, his eyes glistening and his cheeks red.
“Just keep Frolic here. Keep him hidden. Send Mrs. Spaulding away.”
“Where will you be, Querry?” Frolic asked.
“I’m going to get some answers.”
“Where? From who?” Reg reached out for Querry, concern on his face. Querry clasped his hand and pulled him close, wrapping one arm around his waist and crossing the other over Frolic’s chest. He squeezed hard, holding them, closing his eyes to enjoy the feel of their bodies, the sound of their breathing, their warmth and different scents. Then he took Reg’s hand and placed it on Frolic’s neck. The doll leaned toward Reg’s chest.
“This is how I want it,” Querry said. “Just like this.” He inclined his face into Frolic’s hair and Reg’s shoulder, but Reg wriggled free of his embrace, and Querry cursed himself for pushing too far too soon.
“Will you help us?” he asked.
After a deep breath, Reg said, “I’ll keep him here until you get back. I’ll look after him and see that he’s safe. But after that, you need to let me live my life. No more of this. No more coming here, reminding me what will never be, hurting me with your impossible schemes. I need your word.”
“But we could still—”
“Querry, no!” Reg said firmly. “No, we couldn’t. I need to put all of that behind me, content myself with a wife and family. And if you care for me at all, you’ll let me, and stop ripping open these old wounds.”
Nodding, Querry said, “If that’s what you want, Reg, then so be it. You can forget all about me.”
“You know I won’t forget you,” Reg said, his hand jerking like he wanted to touch Querry again. Instead, he shoved it into his trouser pocket. “But a memory’s the only indulgence I can afford.”
Querry turned to Reg, took his face in both hands, and kissed him gently, holding his lips to Reg’s for a long time, swiping his tongue softly across Reg’s teeth. Then he said, “Goodbye then, Reg. Thank you.”
Reg spun away, his back to Querry and his knuckles to his mouth. Querry would let him have his private tears, deal with his choice in his own way. To Frolic, Querry said, “I’ll be back for you soon. Trust Reg, and listen to him.”
“Please be careful, Querry,” Frolic said, standing. His hand curled around the back of Querry’s neck, and they engaged in a much more passionate farewell. Then Querry donned his heavy coat, checked all of his gear, and took one last, long look at the two men he loved before braving the cold uncertainty of the night.
Chapter Six
THE snow deepened, drifting two feet up the sides of the buildings Querry passed. His boots carved furrows on the walks, and inside them his toes numbed. Many people had fallen back on the folkloric charms against the fey: red ribbon, rowan twigs, or iron nails decorated almost every door. Watching the smoke curl from the chimneys made Querry feel small and alone beneath the vast, white sky. That perfect moment, with his belly full, his body toasty, and both Reg and Frolic in his arms, felt months and years past. Querry put it out of his mind. He made his way past the abandoned homes, to the two glowing trees with the intertwined branches. Beneath them, the snow stopped. Even when a gust of wind sent flurries in their direction, they evaporated upon passing beneath the boughs. Not a droplet remained. The air, though, felt just as cold against Querry’s exposed face. The chill couldn’t dissuade the residents of Neroche from merriment. In front of Querry passed a cheerful procession of gauze-clad girls sprinkling flower petals and tapping hand-drums. Behind them came a huge white goat, and upon his back sat a chubby, rosy, young boy playing the flute.
Neroche looked wilder than Querry recalled, but his recollections felt more like distant dreams. Had the houses always been surrounded by little, gray woods, so that only their top floors and roo
fs were visible from the street? On the peaks of those roofs sat things neither human nor avian. Their glowing eyes followed the thief as he passed. Had the stone of the streets and walls been so pitted and crusted with moss and ivy? Lichen even covered the cobblestone beneath Querry’s feet, and from the gutters grew tall, silvery rushes that swayed though he felt no wind. The rustling sounded too much like whispered promises, assurances that all of his desires would come true. Querry hurried past, and almost collided with a row of blue, glass bottles, hung on a rope like laundry. A hunched woman swore at him in her language and chased him off with a broom.
Querry wandered the narrow, twisting lanes for a long time. He couldn’t find his way, couldn’t even find a landmark to gauge his progress. A glimmering mist enveloped central Neroche, and though it parted now and then to reveal a star-lit pool or twisted sapling in perfect clarity, most of the time it hid from Querry objects only a few feet from his eyes. Above him, the balconies and gables of the manors looked as flat and translucent as if they’d been cut from tissue paper. Branches and clouds showed through some. In the distance Querry heard a lute being plucked. He went toward the sound, but found himself between two long benches, each of them full of hooded figures with their heads and shoulders cast down.
Querry reached for the comforting presence of his sword, and ignored the knowledge that it would do him little good. He was scared; he’d wandered deeper into Neroche than he’d known it extended. Neroche was a good-sized district, but Querry had been walking long enough to cross a small county. He had a distinct impression that he’d crossed into the Other World that many theorized overlapped with his own in Neroche. The fog was so deep now that he saw nothing but gray. Gray maidens flitted by him, taking corporeal form long enough to ruffle his hair, touch his cheek, or breathe propositions into his ears before dissolving back into the vapor. No plants or dwellings broke the monotony. Querry couldn’t see his feet, so he didn’t know what lay beneath them.
Loam-scented air gusted over Querry. Wet fingers fondled his earlobes, wriggled down his shirt-collar. He reached out with his hand, felt nothing, and ran. His soles made no sound against the walks. Desperately Querry pictured his golden-haired gentleman and ignored the sultry laughter off in the haze. So saturated was Neroche with magic that a thought alone might conjure one’s wish, and Querry soon found himself looking up at the round palace, high atop the hill of blue roses. Ivory columns hundreds of feet high encircled the central structure. Amber light spilled invitingly from the windows. Though it seemed miles away, Querry sprinted toward the house without looking back.
A party was going on. Guests arrived on the backs of white horses or in carriages drawn by red lizards, shining black lions, or overgrown albino rabbits. A handsome, young man with a tangle of fair hair and feathers sprouting from his head dismounted a barn owl and offered Querry his elbow with a smile. The thief saw his taloned feet beneath a white skirt that was his only garment, save for a necklace of hooked claws. His eyes, beneath his downy brows, were black orbs unbroken by any other color. A hint of blue tinged his lips, as if he’d been too long in the cold. Still, Querry let himself be escorted to the front door, where the bat-eared butler took his coat.
The hall inside stretched on for literal miles, impossibly immense. Hundreds of chandeliers hung from the ceiling, some so far in the distance that they struck Querry as mere pinpricks of light. He could see no end to the room, but along the sides he noticed an arched door every dozen feet or so. His companion patted his forearm, grinned, and pointed to the dance floor, where thousands of others whirled about in dizzying spirals of color and sparkle. Reeling, Querry let the other clasp his waist and spin him. He felt featherlight, carefree, dazzled by the beauty and opulence that surrounded him.
And yet, he felt small and lost in darkness, with horrible things flapping just above him.
How could two such sensations coexist? Querry’s partner dipped him and held the back of his neck to guide him upright. The other man smiled, showing sharp teeth and a bruise-purple tongue. Querry knew he should be afraid, but the other man lowered his lips to Querry’s neck, and to Querry that felt just fine.
His mouth was warm and sweet.
There was the tiniest prick.
“Mr. Knotte! To what do I owe this unexpected pleasure?” The gentleman had taken Querry’s elbow and turned Querry to face him. Holding Querry’s biceps, stepping to the side in something like a dance, he guided Querry toward the edge of the room. Hadn’t someone else been with them a moment ago? Querry looked up and saw a small, white feather drifting down. He wondered where it had come from, since he hadn’t seen any birds. But the ceiling was so high that darkness eventually obscured the chains that held the chandeliers.
“I wanted something from you,” Querry said, watching the gentleman’s gem-like eyes catch the light.
“I would say it’s about time,” came the answer. Querry twirled again. He felt the wall against his back, a chest against his chest.
“No.”
“Surely you like to dance, Mr. Knotte?”
“Yes.”
Querry felt himself whisked to the center of the hall. People backed away, giving the couple space to dance. A lively waltz began to play, but atonal and somewhat eerie. Querry could identify not a single instrument, nor could he locate the musicians. The gentleman held his lower back and left wrist as they spun back and forth. The thief found that he enjoyed himself immensely. How devastating the faerie looked, dressed in a copper suit with gold embroidery that only his hair outshone. He watched Querry with a hungry smile on his face as he twirled and dipped him. Querry felt the contented distraction that usually only came with half a bottle of absinthe. His feet somehow knew the steps, anticipated the tempo of the music.
Hadn’t he come here for something? It had been important….
“I needed something—”
“Some wine, to be sure,” the gentleman said, and released Querry’s hand. A moment later he held a flute of pale liquid. “An excellent vintage. Made from the golden apples guarded by the Hesperides.”
“What?” Querry took the glass. It was the oldest rule, not to eat or drink what they offered. But he felt so thirsty! Surely just a sip….
“I’m so glad you decided to come by,” the gentleman was saying. “I was terribly bored. In fact, I was about to go out into the town and find some interesting people to keep me company. Alas, though, interesting people are so hard to come by.”
“Are they?”
“Oh, not you, Mr. Knotte! I’m always captivated by you. I’m sure it’s why we get along so well, us both being intelligent, adventurous, and cultured men. Beauty, I’ve always maintained, seeks out beauty as well.” He stroked the side of Querry’s hair, then his cheek, before taking hold of Querry’s hand again to lead him in their dance.
“You are beautiful,” Querry said, having given up on trying to control his actions and impressions. “Like nothing I’ve ever seen.”
“Quite! But as I was saying, I’m more often than not bored and disappointed by the people of this age. I find they’re nothing like I was led to believe. You see, for several centuries now I’ve had much to attend in my own lands, and little time to spare to explore yours. So I had my servants bring me records of your history. Such fascinating men! Such heroic exploits! That boy who traveled to the land of the giants and defeated their leader! The bastard child who became High King of your land and united all of the knights around his table!”
“Oh no. Those are just stories.”
“And my favorite, about the thief-prince in the forest! Taking gold from the wealthy and giving it to the poor peasants. I could pass time with that fellow! These were the kind of men I came here hoping to meet. You can imagine my disappointment at finding a city populated by grocers and cart drivers. Scarcely a single person worth my attention! No one to engage in stimulating conversation. I’d almost given up hope when I met you.”
“But… me?”
“Oh, indeed!
I knew as soon as I set eyes upon you and your heroic bearing. What brilliant companions we’ll make.”
They continued to dance in wider and wider circles. It surprised Querry that they didn’t collide with anyone else, at the speed they went. But the gentleman’s other guests seemed insubstantial, more like shadows. The room seemed darker as well, and Querry had a distinct impression that the crystal chandeliers were really more like metal discs with fires lit on top. From his shadowed face, the gentleman’s green eyes glowed. He smiled wide, teeth shining, and his hand slipped from Querry’s back to cup his ass. They spun and spun, so fast that Querry perceived only flashes of flame and darkness. He held tight to his partner, who smelled like a wood after the rain.
The blackness grew deeper. In front of Querry, the green eyes brightened until he could focus on nothing else. He stared into them without blinking, adoring them, his only anchor in the void. Hands snaked beneath his shirt. Their contact with his skin was the most sensuous, divine thing Querry had ever felt. They moved up his waist, and he was in paradise. His head lolled backward, and he groaned with sheer ecstasy. Seizing the opportunity, the gentleman kissed up Querry’s neck and licked the ridge of his ear when he reached it.
He spoke softly into Querry’s hair, in a voice saturated with lust and more beautiful than any symphony. “At first I took offense to your rejections of me. I thought to curse you, make you hideous so no one else would want you.”
“Sorry,” Querry panted. He couldn’t think. He’d never stood in such a whirlwind of erratic need. As his hands darted from the gentleman’s golden hair, to the angles of his back, to the soft globes of his ass, Querry felt like he’d be torn apart. Again he moaned.
“Not at all, Mr. Knotte. You see, it occurred to me that it was only a facet of your nobility of character. I realized that you were not the type of man to fall at anyone’s feet. A man such as yourself would require expert seduction. Formal courtship of the most elegant kind. I soon found the challenge increased my fascination with you. How, I wondered, to get my hands on your willing flesh, my lips on your wonderful lips? And now you come to me.”