“It’s not all about parties and women for me.”
“Okay. I mean, I know. I mean…I’m sure it’s not.” Her voice was breathless. She didn’t know whether to tease him or humor him. She wanted him to let go, but she couldn’t seem to make herself tell him to release her.
Because…?
Because she knew he would.
Gah, she didn’t even want to admit it. Nathan, big goofy jovial Nathan, had turned into this…caveman, and she was getting off on it. If this turned out to be a gotcha game, it wasn’t funny. Not even close.
“I think about lots of things.” His voice was low and even. He could probably hear her irregular breathing. This was crazy. This was Nathan. Except it wasn’t.
“Yeah?” She was whispering. Couldn’t even summon a normal tone. Damn it, Nathan, what are you doing? “What other things?”
He narrowed his eyes, glanced down at her lips. Kim shrank back against the wall, her heart still pounding. What had gotten into him tonight? What had gotten into her? “I’m waiting.”
Nathan took in a long, nearly silent breath. “Sometimes when I wake up in the middle of the night and it’s quiet, or sometimes during a daydream, I think about what it would be like to—” He stopped as if he were about to choke on his words. “I think about…”
Kim held her breath.
His body suddenly relaxed. “You know, how long it’s been since I last had sex.”
She burst out laughing, sounding like a manic hyena. The release of tension was part relief, part disappointment. Yes, gotcha. He’d done it again. She should have seen the punch line coming. But this time, truly, she’d thought he was going to tell her something real, something important. And she’d surprised herself by dying to know what it was.
“I’m going to my room, you complete nutcase. Good night.” She escaped through her door, wedged it shut, and then collapsed against it with a long breath.
Nathan?
No. No-no-no. A bizarre aberration, a bizarre and temporary aberration. Going out with Troy and corresponding with Dale must have made Kim into a hyped-up nymphomaniac, or convinced her all men would find her irresistible. Thank God Nathan brought her down to earth by teasing her.
She crossed her room swiftly, flung open her laptop and opened her email program. At the top of the list, a reply from Dale, giving her that great, giddy rush. A quick check of the time on his note showed he’d answered only half an hour after she’d sent hers early that afternoon. Did he take his laptop to the beach? She couldn’t imagine. Too much sand. Maybe poolside? She wished she was there with him. Jamaica. How exotic and romantic.
Dear Kim,
As always, I was so happy to hear from you. Your emails are such a bright spot. I can hardly wait to meet you on Monday. Tomorrow is my last day here. The temperatures have been ideal, and I’ll miss the tangle of flowers everywhere, the smell of the sea, breakfast on the balcony overlooking the Caribbean… But think what a lovely view I’ll have across the table from you! Worth coming home for a chance to try out some in-person conversation. I have no doubt that we’ll hit it off. You sound like a fascinating and very lovely woman.
Today was another long bout of indulgence. Tennis in the morning with a guy I met here, a relaxing afternoon on the beach and a little shopping before dinner. I bought you a souvenir. Not to worry, it’s nothing fancy.
Can’t wait to hear from you again.
Dale
Kim gave a big sigh and dropped her chin onto her hand, gazing dreamily at the words on the screen. Her world had righted itself. Dale sounded so great. She couldn’t wait to meet him. She just wished he didn’t keep saying how amazing she sounded. Not that she was chopped liver, even Troy had said he wanted to see her again, but…she really didn’t want to disappoint Dale.
She got up from the computer and went over to her mirror, peered at her face, her hair a plain blunt cut past her shoulders, makeup very basic: mascara and lip gloss. She’d worn plain black pants and a blue sweater tonight, nice clothes, but maybe not those a “fascinating, very lovely” woman would wear. Would she make a bad first impression? Would he expect something more from the way she sounded online, where she could choose her words so carefully? Where it was easy to be bold?
She turned to the side, held her hair up with both hands, trying to see how she’d look with it back. To one side? Parted differently?
Dropping her arms, she scowled at herself. Who was she kidding? She couldn’t let even this tiny amount of dating success go to her head. She was who she was, and men had better appreciate her that way, or not at all. Because she wasn’t changing for anyone.
Except maybe herself.
“SORRY I’M LATE. I was picking out flowers for the reception.” Candy landed breathlessly into the seat opposite Kim, next to Marie. They’d gathered at Jane’s Sandwich Shop in a Fox Point strip mall for lunch before trying out the salon next door, La Bellezza, which Candy was considering using on her wedding day. “Kim, what did you think of Troy?”
Kim exchanged glances with an amused Marie. “Hi, Candy. Nice to see you. How are you doing?”
“Sorry, sorry.” She shoved her purse and shopping bag under the table. “Hi, Kim. Hi, Marie. It’s good to see both of you, I’m so glad we planned this afternoon, you’re both looking great. Kim, how was your date with Troy?”
Kim laughed. “He’s a great guy. I enjoyed his company.”
“And? And?” She pounded the table. “Details, woman. Are you going to see him again?”
Kim felt herself blushing. “He said he wanted to, but—”
“Awesome!” Candy gave a thumbs-up. “This calls for a drink. You both with me?”
“Sure, why not.” Marie grinned, casual but still totally put-together in loosely clinging pants and a tunic top. “I’m not doing any work on a Saturday afternoon. Kim?”
“I always have work I could do, but…” She shrugged. She’d done some that morning after her ballet class, starting a redesign on a site for a local bestselling author who wanted her image changed about every six months. Fine by Kim; she got paid. Her other jobs she could hold off for a half day with no problem. The Carter bid was still the same thorn in her same side. “Count me in.”
On cue a plump blond waitress came by. “Hi, ladies, can I get you something to drink?”
“Absolutely.” Candy grabbed the wine menu and handed it to Marie. “Choose a bottle of something for us, Marie.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Thanks.” Candy shook back her chestnut hair and clipped it into a ponytail. “I have a feeling we’re all going to love this salon. Justin’s mother has a friend who’d heard about it clear over in California. I guess she has family here who say it’s absolute pamper heaven.”
“Works for me.” Marie pointed at the drink menu for the waitress. “We’ll have a bottle of the Washington State Chardonnay, please.”
“Pamper heaven sounds great.” Kim forced enthusiasm into her voice. She’d agreed to come today, but the whole chic salon thing was better suited to women such as Marie and Candy. Kim had been to a fancy salon once before, when her friend Becky got married, and had found the women snooty, the skin and body treatments of dubious benefit, and the products wildly overpriced. She could use a haircut, that would be nice, but for a basic trim she hardly needed La Bellezza. Or its prices.
Instead she’d look at it as a great excuse to spend girls’-day-out time. That was worth plenty. She’d do whatever was cheapest and try not to panic over the cost.
“Kim, have you heard from Dale?”
“Yes.” She kept her eyes on her menu and miraculously managed not to blush yet again. “We’ve been corresponding pretty regularly. I’ll finally meet him on Monday.”
“How does he sound?” Candy asked.
“Pretty fabulous. He’s in Jamaica right now. I guess he travels a lot. He’s been all over the world. The Far East, Australia, the Middle East, Europe, everywhere.” She closed her menu, still not having decided, an
d smiled wanly while her friends made appropriate ooh and aah noises. “We’ve been having great chats.”
“But?” Marie, always the perceptive one.
“I’m…not sure I’m being myself, exactly. I mean I’m flirting with him, and it’s really fun, but online it’s easy and safe, and not real. I can’t be that person. I’m afraid when we meet he’s going to be disappointed.”
“Troy wasn’t disappointed,” Candy said.
“He had no expectations. I probably made my life sound more exciting to Dale than it is, and probably made myself sound more sophisticated. I’m probably worrying over nothing. He does seem sweet.”
“I don’t see the problem.” Candy winked at Marie. “But I do know the solution.”
Marie was grinning. “Uh-huh.”
Kim glanced warily between them. “What’s going on?”
“Candy and I have an early birthday present for you. And Darcy, but she couldn’t get away from the restaurant today.”
The waitress arrived with their wine and Kim had to wait while the bottle was opened and a half inch was poured for Marie to try.
“It’s the perfect solution. You are worried about how you’ll come across and we’re going to a beauty salon in an hour.” Candy gestured toward her, top to bottom. “We’re giving you a makeover.”
“Me? I don’t think—”
“Well, we do.” Marie nodded her approval of the wine; the waitress went around the table pouring. “It’s perfect. A new haircut, makeup and you’ll feel like the woman you think you’re only pretending to be.”
“And since we’ll all be tipsy and don’t have anything else going on, we’re taking you shopping afterward for a first-date blow-him-away outfit.” She lifted her glass. “Casually sophisticated. Sexy without being obvious.”
“What do you think, Kim?” Marie asked in her gentle therapist voice. “Of course, we won’t force you.”
“Oh, yes, we will.” Candy giggled when Marie glared. “Okay, we’ll encourage you strongly, how’s that.”
“I don’t think I’d be comfortable—” Kim broke off. Something deep inside her was shimmering with excitement. Too often she said no to anything that took her out of her comfort zone, and her comfort zone had always been pretty damn small. Maybe she needed to start saying yes more often. Maybe she already had. Yes to trying for the Carter job. Yes to dating.
Yes to a makeover at one of the city’s best salons?
“It’s not going to be that drastic, Kim.” Marie tossed her menu on the table. “Not like you’ll shave half your head and get a nose ring.”
“Or spend future dates talking human sacrifices.” Candy giggled behind her hand. “And showing off the tattoos on your—”
“You’ll still be you,” Marie said. “You, with a little extra pizzazz.”
“I don’t know.” Kim wrinkled her nose, took another sip of wine, excitement skipping through her. She wanted to say yes, but she couldn’t make herself do it yet. “I hadn’t planned on this. I’m not really the spontaneous type.”
“Try being that way just this afternoon.”
“We won’t pressure you into anything you don’t want to do, Kim.” Marie gave Candy a warning look. “We’ll have lunch, and you think about it. You don’t have to decide until you’re sitting in the salon chair. You have time.”
“Okay.” The shimmers wouldn’t leave her alone. She imagined herself in some low-cut slit-up-to-there black dress, breasts pushed front and center, sultry makeup transforming her into the kind of sophisticate she’d always admired. Parading in front of Troy, watching his jaw drop. Parading in front of Dale. Ditto with his jaw. While she was at it, parading in front of Tony, the jerk jock who’d messed with her head in college. Hey, Tony, how geeky did she look now? Parading into the apartment in front of…Nathan.
Kim reached for her wine again, took a shaky sip. She did not need to be worrying about what he thought. He’d always been another little brother to her, and Kim was and always had been the big sister he never had.
The three women gabbed on through lunch, the bottle of wine and coffee, then walked next door to the salon, giggling over everything and nothing. Candy opened the front door and gestured Kim through, but not before Kim saw her exchanging crossed-fingers with Marie. The two were undoubtedly trying to figure out how to get her to agree to try a new look.
She caught a glimpse of herself in a mirror in the entranceway. Cheeks flushed by wine, eyes snapping with excitement… She looked radiant. But plain. Her eyes could use definition. Her hair could use shaping.
Marie was right. Kim wouldn’t be changing, not really. Though by agreeing to sign up for Milwaukeedates.com she was already changing. Finding the courage to date a guy like Troy, to flirt with a man like Dale. So maybe rather than a Band-Aid to help her feel better about herself, a makeover could be another step in that evolution. She’d certainly been feeling differently lately on the inside. Why not see if she could show something different on the outside, too?
Because she’d feel like a phony. On those introvert days when she didn’t want to leave her house or talk to anyone, where she’d disappear into her world of design to escape having to put effort into human interaction. The haircut and makeup wouldn’t fit that woman.
“Hi, ladies. Welcome.” The receptionist had makeup so lush she resembled a painting of a woman.
There was no way Kim could do that to herself.
They were led to dressing rooms to change into robes and slippers, then offered snacks and bottled water. First, they got hot stone massages: heated, oiled stones used to smooth out kinked muscles. Facials second: steamed, scrubbed, moisturized. Showers third: Swedish stalls with a luxurious embarrassment of showerheads. Shampoos fourth, then Kim sat in the chair looking at herself in the mirror, hair a sodden tangle, skin tingling from the treatments, muscles relaxed, head still buzzing pleasantly from the wine.
This was the life.
“Hi, I’m Jenny. What would you like to do today, Kim?”
“I just want a trim?” She hadn’t meant to make it a question. “Or…I don’t know.”
The woman held up a length of her hair and gazed into the mirror. “That’s it?”
“Oh. Well…maybe more?”
“If I could suggest something.”
Kim had a feeling Marie and Candy had put her up to this. “Okay.”
“You need a shorter length with a bang to bring out those dynamite eyes and those incredible cheekbones. They’re lost in this length. Minimal makeup. Your skin is gorgeous on its own. Women would kill to have your pores.”
“Oh. Thank you.” Kim tried to look pleased. She was very glad she had never thought to worry about her pores, and doubly glad to know now that she wouldn’t need to worry about them in the future.
“Will you let me try? I think you’ll be pleased with the result.”
The Kim parade began again in her mind. Sexy cut, sexy outfit, sexy Kim. Troy, Dale, Tony…
And again, Nathan, holding Sexy Kim’s wrists above her head in the dark room, his wide body hovering over hers.
She met the stylist’s eyes in the mirror and gave a firm nod, lips pressed tightly together.
“Do it.”
5
KIM TOOK THE ELEVATOR up to the third floor in her building, grateful it was empty and that Nathan would be tending bar at the Hi Hat Lounge. She was anxious to get inside her apartment without anyone seeing her, to have private time to take in her new look.
What had seemed exciting and right while she sat in the chair had turned exciting and right and scary as long clumps of her hair succumbed to the scissors. She’d ended up with a deftly highlighted, chin-length bob with slanted bangs. The makeup, which she insisted be applied with a light hand, emphasized her eyes and cheekbones, and colored her lips into sensual splendor.
She looked great. And very different. Older. More sophisticated. Sexier. To her embarrassment, Marie and Candy had squealed loudly when she’d emerged into the lavish
lobby all done up. Then they’d carted her off to roughly twenty million stores—at least it felt like that many—to find the fabled outfit that would make men fall at her feet.
They’d found it. Or rather, Marie and Candy found it—and insisted on buying—a low-cut white cashmere sweater and a clingy, deep rose skirt. With matching shoes. Another couple of pieces Kim bought for herself with their approval. They’d insisted she keep on the purple scoop-neck minidress with an Empire waistline that did flattering things to her figure and image, and the black pumps they declared gave her legs enough punch to knock guys out. Kim wasn’t sure. On the way back she’d passed several men and not one had keeled over.
She giggled, blaming the wine. After the shopping, Marie had insisted another drink was in order. Kim would probably be hungover before dinner. Nice.
The elevator doors opened and she walked down the shabby hall to her door in the unfamiliar heels, which hadn’t tripped her yet, but she was sure it was only a matter of time. Her key hit the lock and turned. Whew. Safe haven. She scurried inside and froze, one hand clutching the doorknob.
Nathan. Not at work. Standing in their living room. Wearing nothing but a towel.
Oh, my God. He had the body of an Olympic diver. He had hair on his chest. He was a man. A real one.
Oh, my God.
“Kim.” He was staring as if he’d never seen her before, either. “You look incredible.”
She had no idea what to do or what to say. The heat in his eyes was unmistakable. He hadn’t fallen at her feet yet, but he looked as if he might.
Or maybe kneel there. Put his arms around her thighs and press his face to—
Kim, get a grip.
Letting go of the doorknob was a good first step. Next, she put down her packages, which contained her old clothes and the rest of the new, including a little black dress very much like the one in her parade-in-front-of-men fantasy. She couldn’t imagine when she’d wear it, but once Marie and Candy saw it on her, that was that.
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