What the Earl Needs Now (The Earls Next Door Book 2)

by Michelle Willingham

  Her mother tucked her hand in hers. “No, it is never easy to let go of someone you love. But he may come back to you once you have set him free.”

  The thought was heartbreaking. And right now, she didn’t think she had it within her to begin again.

  “I don’t want to go to the ball at all,” Lily confessed. “The idea is unbearable. I cannot imagine the idea of looking for another man to love.”

  “Perhaps you shouldn’t be looking for someone else,” her mother said quietly. “It might be that you should be looking for yourself instead.” She reached out and squeezed Lily’s palm. “Why not go with the intent of having fun? Do as you please. Laugh and dance and make merry.”

  The warmth of her mother’s hand in hers was a welcome comfort. She hadn’t thought about attending the ball with a reckless sense of fun. When had a ball ever been anything except a disastrous attempt at matchmaking?

  “I hadn’t thought of that,” she admitted. “Grandmother would never condone my having fun.”

  Iris smiled. “You ought to try it. And instead of grieving for what you have lost, look and see what you may find instead.”

  In that moment, her mother’s advice brought a welcome balm of healing to her wounded heart. It was true that she had never envisioned a ball as a moment of fun. And what if she did? She might discover that it was enjoyable, particularly if she had no intention of finding a husband.

  “All right,” she agreed. “I will go. But only for fun.”

  “Good.” Iris sighed, and for the next few minutes, they drove through the streets toward no destination in particular. It was a fine day, and Lily enjoyed the warmth of sunlight on her face. When they passed the street where Matthew lived, she felt a twinge of sadness before she forced it away. Iris asked, “Did you want to stop and pay a call upon Lady Arnsbury before this evening?”

  It was the very last place she wanted to be. “No. I am certain she is very busy with the plans for the ball.”

  Her mother nodded absently. “All right, then.”

  “Thank you for the outing, Mother,” she told Iris. “You’ve made me feel so much better about the ball tonight.”

  “I will send Hattie to dress your hair and help you,” her mother said. “James will accompany you, and Rose might attend if she feels well enough to dance.” Lily knew how much Rose wanted to prove that she was no longer an invalid.

  “All right,” she agreed. But as they returned to the house, she imagined herself wearing a brightly colored gown that would make her feel beautiful again. She would try to smile and enjoy herself.

  Her mother’s suggestion was a sound one indeed. Lily would not at all look for a new husband to marry—she would try to find the joy in each moment.

  His mother adored parties and always had. From his bedchamber, Matthew could hear the lilting sounds of music coming from their small ballroom. The evening was warm, and Lady Arnsbury had opened up the doors to allow guests to spend time within the garden. It was a small space, walled off from the rest of the London streets, but he’d always found a sense of quiet among the greenery. It was nothing more than a stone patio with gravel pathways that encircled a large fountain. In the summer, roses bloomed along the brick wall, and his mother delighted in sitting upon a bench beneath a small lilac tree.

  He stood with his windows open, gazing down at the darkness below. A few lamps had been set out in the garden, and he watched the guests milling about. Truthfully, he was searching for one guest in particular—Lily Thornton. Not to bother her but simply to know if she was here. A footman had confirmed that she had indeed come to the ball. But despite endless minutes of watching over the garden, he had not seen her.

  Matthew had no intention of going downstairs. He wasn’t dressed for an evening ball, and the thought of being surrounded by crowds of people was unthinkable. No, he would not dare to attend.

  Yet, he’d felt remorse after the way he’d behaved toward Lily. She had wanted to help him, to offer her love and sympathy. He simply couldn’t bring himself to drag her into his darkness. It was better to give her the freedom to walk a different path.

  Matthew closed the windows of his room, stepping over the Beast who was curled up in one of his shoes. The kitten had been a most unexpected gift, but the animal had offered a quiet companionship. It was difficult to brood properly when a fuzzy creature was cuddling and purring beside you.

  He realized that he wanted to see Lily tonight, even if he never spoke a word to her. If he ventured downstairs, he could remain in the shadows of the staircase, watching over the guests in his mother’s ballroom. No one need know he was there.

  Matthew reached for his evening coat and buttoned it, before he glanced at himself in a looking glass. His face appeared like the stuff of nightmares, almost wild and frightful. The angry red scar made him look like a pirate, not to mention that he hadn’t shaved in days, and his eyes were bloodshot from lack of sleep. It would send any young woman screaming from the sight of him.

  A monster in the shadows, indeed. Still, there was nothing to be done for it. He ignored the mirror and strode out of the room, closing the door behind him. From below, he heard the lilting stringed instruments and the melody of a waltz.

  Matthew took the stairs slowly, not wanting anyone to see him. When the hallway was empty, he hastened down the remaining steps, slipping back behind the left side of the staircase. From here, he could glimpse the open ballroom and the men and women dancing.

  Dozens of guests filled the space, and he searched again for Lily. She could be standing against a wall with her sister or grandmother. But no, she was not among the wallflowers.

  He thought he heard her voice, and then he spied a young woman dressed in vivid purple with a pearl necklace that dipped to the curve of her breast. Lily’s brown hair was swept into an updo with two curls on either side of her face. And she was smiling.

  Matthew took a step forward, staring at her. She was laughing at something her companion had said, fanning herself lightly. It looked as if she was enjoying herself, and something tightened within him.

  It was better for both of them if she found happiness with someone else. He knew that. And yet, he took another step closer, his hand gripping the wooden bannister.

  She laughed again, and then her gaze shifted to the hallway where he was standing. Without knowing why, he took a few steps forward, letting her see him. He crossed his arms, nodding to her in silent greeting.

  Her smile faded, and then she turned back to her companion, behaving as if she hadn’t seen him. . .though he knew she had. The question was whether she would return to the ball, as if nothing had happened.

  Matthew waited a moment before he slipped into a smaller hallway that led to the outside garden. He opened the door and breathed in the warm night air. Gravel crunched beneath his feet as he walked along the perimeter of the house. The lighted windows offered stolen glimpses at the guests, but he ignored them. He had seen what he’d wanted to see.

  His mind and conscience battled with one another. He wanted to talk with Lily and perhaps apologize for his behavior the other day, though he ought to leave her alone. For a moment, he stood beside a tall arbor vitae, trying to decide whether to return to his room or approach her.

  Fate made the decision for him when he saw her walk outside into the garden with her sister standing nearby. Matthew emerged from the shadows but remained far enough away that he was not intruding upon their conversation.

  Lily surprised him, however, when she strode across the gravel pathway and stopped directly in front of him. “Are you all right, Lord Arnsbury?”

  Her use of his title instead of his first name was not lost on him. Clearly, she was trying to maintain distance between them.

  “I am, thank you. I thought I would take a short walk.”

  The deep purple of the gown brought out the green in her hazel eyes, and her thin shawl did little to hide the curve of her shoulder. Unbidden came the memory of pressing his mouth to that shoulde
r, kissing a path lower. A sudden rise of heat came over him, and he gritted his teeth against the unexpected desire, forcing it back.

  She hesitated, asking softly, “Is this the first time you’ve been outside since you returned?”

  “It is.” Part of him wanted to return upstairs, but it was tedious there with only a kitten for company.

  Lily was staring at him as if she wanted to say something more but couldn’t find the right words. He offered a light shrug. “I suppose I should go back to my room. I’m likely frightening away my mother’s guests.”

  “This is your house, as you said before. They can go away if they’re frightened of you,” Lily answered. He was surprised to hear her defend him. Then she stole a glance back at her sister, as if trying to make a decision. “My mother told me I ought to enjoy this ball, to do whatever I wished.”

  “Within reason.” He was rewarded by a faint smile that vanished from her face a moment later.

  “Yes. And I think I would like to walk through the garden now.”

  He wasn’t certain whether she was dismissing him, but she waved for her sister Rose to come closer. “Do you want to join us?”

  He thought about it for a moment. He had remained inside his room for over a week, and the atmosphere was stifling. This was something he needed to do to push back against the darkness and take a step forward.

  Part of him believed he shouldn’t accept her help, not after he’d rebuffed her earlier. And yet, he saw nothing demanding in her expression—only the offer of friendship. This was a walk in the garden, nothing more. And so, he offered his arm.

  Lily placed her hand upon it, and when her sister drew near, leaning on her cane, he gave his other arm to Rose. Her brown hair was dotted with blossoms, and she wore a bright blue gown. The young woman smiled brightly at him. “Hello, Lord Arnsbury. It’s good to see you out and about once again.”

  “It has been a long time, Lady Rose.” He bowed his head in greeting, and she smiled when they began walking. Lily’s sister had to lean against him, since she could not walk quickly, but he didn’t mind. It was a good distraction from the strange feeling of being out of doors once again. The air was warm by London standards, but it lacked the brutality of the desert sun. Each step was easier than the last.

  In the moonlit darkness, he led the women along the gravel pathway. Lily barely said a word, though it had been her idea. Rose, in contrast, admired the flowers blooming.

  “Have you enjoyed your evening?” he asked Lily, attempting conversation.

  With a hint of a smile, she answered, “I tried something different. Instead of being a quiet, shy young woman, I answered questions with complete honesty. I’m not certain the gentlemen liked it very much.”

  “Then they were not right for you,” he said. He ignored the tightness in his gut that rose up at the mention of other men.

  “I agree,” Rose added. “Honesty is the best way to begin any relationship.”

  Lily broke out in a laugh. “When you began your relationship with Iain, you nearly stabbed him with a rake. I’m not certain that was honesty.”

  “Of course it was. I was completely forthright that if he tried to hurt me, he would be skewered.” Rose smiled brightly, and a flare of amusement caught Matthew in the gut.

  The emotion seemed foreign somehow, but he said, “A man always likes to know where he stands.”

  He led them toward the stone fountain comprised of a cupid statue with water streaming from its arrow tip. Lily took off her glove and reached out to the water, letting it spill over her fingers. Then she sent him a mischievous sidelong glance, flicking water over him.

  Droplets spilled over his scar, and Matthew stared at her in disbelief. “That wasn’t wise,” he warned.

  He removed his own glove and reached under the running water, preparing to strike back. Lily couldn’t stop her smile, and she taunted, “You wouldn’t dare.”

  “Lily, don’t provoke him,” Rose warned, stepping away from them. She leaned on her cane until she reached the safety of the shrubbery.

  Matthew lowered his hand from the water, and Lily beamed at her sister. “See? I told you he wouldn’t.”

  He rewarded her answer by squirting her in the face with the water he’d concealed in his palm. Lily shrieked with laughter and reached into the fountain, splashing more water at him. Matthew dodged it and grinned at her. “That wasn’t very ladylike, Lily.”

  “But it was great fun.” Her hair was slightly wet, and the burst of laughter brought the sparkle to her eyes. “I should apologize.”

  “Well?” he coaxed.

  “But I don’t want to.”

  He noticed that Rose had retreated further away to give them a measure of privacy. He saw it as an opportunity and drew closer. Her face held mischief, and he rested one hand on the edge of the fountain.

  “You may want to run, Lily.”

  “Why?” Her sidelong glance showed she didn’t believe he would follow through with his threat.

  “Because you’re tempting me.”

  A sudden blush flooded her cheeks, but she didn’t move. Instead, she slid her hand into the water. “Perhaps you are the one who should be careful.”

  He removed his own glove and took her hand beneath the water. It was freezing cold, and it numbed his hand. But he held her palm, preventing her from doing anything foolish.

  “Let go, Matthew.”

  “Why?” His thumb caressed her hand beneath the water, and he found himself captivated by her lovely face and the softness of her skin.

  She stood on tiptoe until her face was a breath away from his. “Because.” Her lips were sensual, her eyes filled with yearning. It evoked the memory of her kiss, and a sudden heat swelled within him.

  Without warning, a sudden shock of frigid water hit his neck, and he yelped, releasing her hand. Lily laughed, lowering her hand. “Because I said so.”

  He wiped off the water and glared at her, though he didn’t truly mean it. Despite the trick, he was enjoying her playful mood. “You should be careful next time, Lily.”

  She smiled and placed her hand in his arm. “Perhaps.” He led her away from the fountain, and she added. “I am glad you seem to be feeling better now. And I do hope you’ve begun to eat again.” Her hand pressed lightly against his arm. The gentle pressure offered a quiet support, and he was grateful for it.

  He led her through the garden back to Rose, who was waiting for them. “I am glad to see that my sister did not drench you in the fountain.”

  “She did try. But I managed to defend myself.” He raised an eyebrow at Lily, who winked at him.

  Rose limped slightly as she took a step toward them. Matthew offered his arm for support, and she took it. “Would you care to go back inside, Lady Rose?” Though he didn’t particularly want to make an appearance among the guests, neither did he want her to stumble.

  “I should like to sit for a moment,” Rose answered. “If you will help me to hobble over to the bench, that will do.”

  He assisted her over to the bench while Lily trailed behind them. Once Rose was seated, she sighed with relief. “Lily, will you stay with me for a moment?”

  “Of course.” She moved to sit beside her sister, and Matthew understood that this was his hint to leave them alone.

  “Thank you for the walk,” Lily said to him.

  He bowed to the women. “Lady Lily. And Lady Rose.” With that, he returned to the doorway leading inside.

  Just as he was about to enter, he glanced behind him at the women. Lily was speaking with her sister in a hushed tone, but then she glanced back at him. For a moment, she met his gaze with a frank stare of her own.

  The very sight of her made him aware of exactly what he’d given up. And how very difficult it was to let her go.

  CHAPTER SIX

  “Would you care to dance, Lady Lily?”

  She turned and saw a dark-haired gentleman, impeccably dressed in black. His hair was cropped short, and his brown eyes held
undeniable interest. He appeared familiar somehow, but she did not recall his name.

  “I am Adrian Monroe,” he said. “We were introduced earlier this evening, but I suppose you may not remember me.”

  She lifted her shoulders in an apologetic shrug. “Forgive me, but I have met many people tonight.”

  “As have we all,” he agreed. “If you are not spoken for, perhaps we might take a turn?”

  She pretended to glance at her card, though she was aware that all her remaining dances were free. “All right, Mr. Monroe.”

  He smiled at her and offered his arm to guide her toward the other dancers. They joined the circle, and he took her hand, leading her in the steps. “I saw you speaking with my cousin a few moments ago,” he said. “Matthew Larkspur, the Earl of Arnsbury, I mean.”

  She felt her cheeks flush. “Yes, I have known Lord Arnsbury for several years. I did not realize you were cousins.”

  “Distant cousins,” he clarified. “On my father’s side.” Mr. Monroe spun her lightly, his gloved palm holding hers. “I understand he was unwell after his return from India.”

  Because he was tortured, Lily thought. But in answer, she said, “He is still convalescing. I am certain he will make a full recovery.”

  Mr. Monroe nodded to that. “Perhaps. I suppose he’ll be seeking a wife soon enough. He’ll need an heir after all.”

  “It’s really none of my affair,” she answered. “I’m certain Lord Arnsbury will do whatever he wishes.”

  Mr. Monroe’s demeanor softened. “Forgive me. I was merely wondering if you were already spoken for with my cousin. I know you were very close to him not so long ago.”

  We were married, she wanted to say. Although it hadn’t been legal.

  “We are friends now, but that is all.” The words felt like a lie, even as she spoke them.

  But Mr. Monroe appeared pleased. “You do not know how happy I am to hear this.” He gave her hand a gentle squeeze. Yes, he was a handsome man, but she did not feel any attraction toward him. As soon as the dance ended, she excused herself, saying that she needed to find her sister.