With You: With you, I am who I want to be.

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With You: With you, I am who I want to be. Page 22

by Jensen Kristyne


  Brielle lets out a soft laugh. "Oh, and that’s a problem because . . .?" She tilts her head to the side, mocking me.

  I part my lips as I stare out at my little blonde angel. At my cock pressed up against her stomach.

  Fuck, she's feisty tonight.

  "It's not a problem," I say, but my hands are moving to a mind of their own. My fingers grasp her waist as I reluctantly lift her up and off my lap—my mind still all too aware of where we are. "But if you keep that up, I'm going to want to fuck you. And unfortunately, as much as it kills me, I don't think I can."

  "Oh," she mumbles. Her fingers reach for the jacket, and she zips it all the way up.

  Shit. Again with the growing of a fucking conscience, I choose now. Mason isn't even here, and he's still cockblocking me with his sister. The asshole. Did he really think Luca was a better choice for her over me?

  I stand up and fix my jeans, tucking my cock up along my waist. "It has nothing to do with you, babe." I smile softly, trying to reassure her. The shattered look she's wearing, making me want to rethink my answer. "This place just holds a lot of memories. I just, I don't want to—"

  "You don't have to explain anything to me," she interrupts. Her expression is tight. I worry that she's completely misunderstood me, but she surprises me by saying, "You're protecting the memories the two of you shared here. It makes sense. I'm so sorry I didn't think of that before."

  I feel myself immediately relax. My shoulders sag as the added stress evaporates. How the hell has she stayed single all these years? She places a hand on my chest, and as usual, my breathing instantly slows. My mind goes blank as I try to remember why I chose to leave her all those years ago.

  You can play hero all you want, boy, but I know you. You're just like me. . . My father’s words echo inside my head. The reason I chose to bring her here sounds alarms in the forefront of my mind.

  I close my eyes. Fuck, I screwed everything up. At the beginning of the night, I had every intention of breaking things off with her—to leave, for good this time, but then I saw her.For every reason I had that was telling me to go, I found an answer I needed to stay.

  "So, you ready to lose?" She cocks her eyebrow, turning over her shoulder to walk to the gear, lying forgotten on the floor. She grabs a bat and a helmet. "Because I hope you don't think that I'm going to take it easy on you since you're injured."

  Fuck, I love this feisty side of her.

  "I wouldn't expect anything less, babe," I say. My mind chooses this moment to remind me of the fact that she still hasn't told me whether or not she loves me back. My smile drops. "Come on, let's see what you got.”

  chapter thirty

  BRIELLE

  Theo pulls into my driveway, and I hop off the bike after he cuts the engine. It was too late by the time we left to fetch my car tonight, and a lot has happened since then. Ever since he put a stop to our little moment back at the cages, he’s been acting distant. His whiplash of emotions makes my head spin again.

  One minute, he’s telling me he loves me and the next it’s . . . "Well, I guess this is goodnight." He doesn't look at me.

  Don't do this.

  Talk to me!

  I can't stand another minute of this awkward silence. I mean, what happened? He's been so in his head the last hour. I don't understand where it's coming from. Is it because I’ve been looking for a way to tell him, “I love you,” back?

  “Yeah." I kick a rock. "I guess it is. Goodnight, Theo."

  I can see from here that Becks has left the lights on inside for me, when I suddenly realize that I completely forgot to call her to tell her that I would be home late. I briefly wonder what she thinks I’ve been up to. She hasn’t even tried calling, once.

  He's still staring off to the side when I lean in and kiss his cheek. "Thank you for sharing a little bit of Mason with me," I say, thinking about how much it means to me that he chose to open up like this. I still can't believe that Theo Wescott loves me. I always hoped but never imagined it would happen. But Theo loves me. And I love him.

  Maybe I should just say it now—

  "You're welcome."

  Ugh!

  "Right. Well, bye." I turn around so that he doesn't have to see the hurt I know is written across my face. How can he say that I am his weakness when he so obviously holds all the cards?

  I manage to open my front door before I hear him running up the steps behind me. "Brielle, wait!" he yells. The desperation etched in his voice surprises me more than anything. I turn around and see the frantic look he’s wearing. "I. . . ugh. . . I forgot something."

  "You did?"

  I inhale a sharp breath when he takes a step toward me. His eyes lock on my mouth before his lips crash against mine. The momentum forces me back until I'm pinned against the doorframe. When he pulls away, we're both panting. "Yeah, I did," he whispers in that raspy voice I love.

  Holy shi— He kisses me again, leading me to practically forget how to breathe. My brain stumbles to catch up as I hear him whisper against my lips, "Kiss me back, Brielle. I can't leave it like this."

  Leave?

  Where is he going other than back to his house?

  "Then don't. Stay here . . . with me." I say. My hands gripping the back of his arms. My fingers press into his biceps, afraid that if he leaves, that this could be the end.

  I drop my bag and jump onto his torso the moment I feel his hands lifting my bottom. My mind relaxes as I let myself give in to his touch.As if reading my mind, he carries me through the entry hall, kicking the door shut behind him. "Shh!" I giggle, sweeping my eyes across the small space before I decide Becks has to be in her room. "We can't wake up Becks."

  He nods and walks over to the couch. His body flexes under my touch as he sets me down, but he's right on top of me—not giving me a second to rest. His teeth rake at the sensitive spot under my ear, sucking and nipping until I'm a heaving mess. My hand tugs at the bottom of his shirt. The soft material twists in my fingers as I work to push it up the hard-packed muscles of his stomach.

  Theo releases his hold on me, and with one finger, he hooks the back of his shirt and pulls it up and over his head. "Now yours," he whispers, his breath hot against my lips. His fingers are teasing my sides as he inches the corners of my shirt up. The pads of his thumbs rub small circles across my skin.

  I shrug out of his jacket and barely have time to sit up before my shirt hits the floor.

  “You’re gorgeous.” He sucks his lower lip between his teeth. His eyes slowly travel over my chest, and his fingers skim the tops of my breasts that are spilling over my bra. How embarrassing. I shut my eyes. I really should invest in a new bra.

  “Open your eyes, baby. I want to see you.”

  “Sorry. I just, I. . .” I mumble, but Theo reads my mind.

  “You have nothing to be embarrassed about. Trust me.” He licks his lips while his eyes trail down the length of my body once more. “You’re fucking perfect.”

  I nod in response. My cheeks flush at the thought of him seeing me like this. It’s all still so new to me—the dirty talk. . . the way his hands feel as they move over my body. It’s like he’s always trying to memorize every inch. He doesn’t even try to hide the way that he looks at me. How does anyone ever get used to this?

  Feeling brave, I lift my hand and gently press it against the outside of his boxers, teasing and exploring the length of him. I swallow the lump in my throat when I think about how big he is.

  Is he even going to fit?

  Theo groans and leans down over the top of me to place a trail of kisses along my neck. "Are you going to do something with that?” he asks, his words as seductive as everything else about this man. “This is your last chance, babe. If you want to stop, you need to tell me now."

  I arch my back when I feel his fingers slip under the thin material of my thong and slowly push into me. First the one and then another. I run my finger over the tip of his penis, and feel his body tighten in response. “I want you,” I say
. The fullness of his fingers makes me squirm.

  “Which room is yours?” he asks. His eyes darken while he stares at me. But he doesn’t wait for me to answer. He simply lifts me with one arm by my waist as he continues to thrust his fingers deeper inside me. He carries me into the hall. “Pick a room, Brielle—or so help me, I’ll fuck you in the hall.”

  I pant in between breaths; the pressure building. In another moment of bravery, I drop my hand between us and push my fingers under the elastic waist of his boxers and begin palming him with my hand. My mind secretly hopes that I’m doing this right. He crashes his lips against mine while my back slams against our bathroom door.

  "Jesus." He moans. His finger slowly starts to pump faster in and out of me, and his rhythm shifts to match my own. This slow, sweet assault makes me whimper.

  “It’s the . . . it’s the one on the right.” I feel a rush of air over my bare skin as Theo kicks the door open—my mind, too far gone to care about how loud we’re being. Becks will understand. Hell. She’s probably cheering me on.

  My feet touch the floor for all of a second before my shorts follow.

  “We’re going to have to have a conversation about those.”

  I feel his breath on my neck as he sucks and nips at a spot just under my chin.

  "What’s wrong with my shorts?" I shake my head. But Theo is too distracted to answer as he drops to his knees. His head disappears between my legs, and his stubble pricks the inside of my thighs.

  He withdraws his fingers and hooks them in my thong, pulling it down, and tossing it to the floor. "Can I taste you?"

  I blink my eyes open, my body on fire, and stare down at him.

  Taste me?

  Is it going to hurt?

  He waits for my approval, and when I nod, he bends down and lifts me onto the bed. His one arm, holds me to his chest as the other sweeps across the comforter. Textbooks and notepads falling to the floor.

  I silently curse my inexperience as he kisses me one more time before his lips move down my chest. I feel his teeth graze across one of my breasts as he dips a finger into the cup of my bra. “Do you want me to take it off?” I ask, annoyed with myself for not having already done it myself.

  “Oh, I’ll get it.” He licks his lips. Then he slips his hand behind my back, and in one attempt, he unclasps it.

  I revel in the feeling of my breasts falling free until Theo leans down and takes my nipple in his mouth. The sensation takes me by surprise in a way that threatens to undo me. His free hand expertly works the other as I wriggle under him. I feel the pressure building between my thighs.

  “Theo,” I moan, and that’s all it takes for him to pick up his assault.

  I feel his stubble move across my skin as he trails kisses down my body. He settles between my thighs, his arms curling around them as he pulls me to him. I tense, waiting to feel something, when I see he’s watching me. His tongue them swirls over my center. He mumbles something under his breath, and the muscles of my stomach clench.

  I lace my fingers in the back of his hair and gently tug as he expertly moves his tongue in small strokes. He groans and slowly pushes a finger inside of me. Then another. The feeling is one of pure bliss.

  It should make me nervous to know that he’s watching, especially during such an intimate moment, but it doesn’t. In fact, it’s the exact opposite. If anything, it pushes me closer toward the edge. Each fleck of his tongue teases my sensitive spot while his fingers pump in and out of me. I shut my eyes, my fingertips pressing into his shoulders.

  My legs stiffen telling me that I’m close when Theo reaches up and snakes his arm around my waist, holding me down as the pressure builds.

  "Theo . . ." I whine, my chest rising and falling fast as he begins making small, quick strokes with his tongue. He growls when I push back against him. My body is shaking, and my legs are tensing. I tilt my hips toward him as heatwaves wash over me. I'm close. "I’m about to . . ."“Come for me, baby. Just let go,” he mutters against me, sucking at my sensitive spot. The act is enough to push me over the edge. My vision goes blurry as I come completely undone. I struggle to catch my breath as I lie there trying to collect myself.

  “God, you’re so responsive.” Theo smiles. He moves his knee to rest on the outside of my thigh as he crawls up next to me on the bed. “Just watching you is enough to make me come.”

  I bite my lips and roll to my side. “Theo,” I say in between pants. My fingers numbly make quick work of his jeans as I work them down and off his legs. “Stop talking.”

  “Fuck, you’re feisty tonight.” He leans down and presses his lips to mine. The kiss is soft and gentle, but I’m not naïve enough to believe that it will stay this way. “Spread your legs, baby,” he whispers, biting my lip as payback.

  He drops his hand. His fingers are back circling me, and his movements are fast and rough as he climbs on top of me. My mind is so distracted with everything I’ve got going on that I barely hear the small rip. I look down to see what he’s doing and catch him rolling the condom over his impressive length. "I would have done that," I say softly and sit up on my elbows.

  Theo pauses and looks down at the condom. "I could take it off and grab another?" he half laughs. The cute way he’s trying so hard to please me, makes me giggle.

  I pull him toward my body, my hands curling around the back of his biceps as he steadies himself over the top of me. "I can wait until the next time." I kiss the corners of his mouth. That devilish grin I love so much is playing along his lips. I lick my own, tasting something new when I realize I’m tasting myself.

  Theo lowers himself; his legs gently press against my thighs, spreading them further as he settles between them. I inhale a sharp breath when I feel his erection graze across my sensitive spot; the tip of it moves down until it’s hovering just out of reach.

  "I need you to tell me if you want me to stop."

  I nod, well aware that I should be more nervous than I am, but I'm not. I trust Theo entirely, and I know that even if we aren't meant to be together—or that if things were to never work out—I would still want this. I would still want him to be the one I share this moment with. I love him; I always have.

  "I will," I promise.

  "Just try to relax, baby." He slowly begins sliding himself in me.

  I inhale a deep breath and knot my fists in the comforter. There's some pain, but I push through it when I catch Theo watching me.

  "How's . . . that, baby?" he pants as he slides slowly in and out of me. I look down and am surprised when I see that he's only using a fraction of himself. "What? What is it?" I hear the panic behind his words. "Do you want me to—"

  "No," I quickly say, rising up to wrap my hands around the back of his neck. "I was just wondering why you weren't, you know, going all the way in?"

  I blush, hating how inexperienced I sound. Why is it so hard to just say what I mean?

  "I will, baby. Trust me, but not tonight." He smiles, bending down to place a soft kiss on my mouth. I part my lips, ready to object that I could take it, but he stops me when his tongue glides across my bottom lip, and he deepens the kiss.

  My hands move to his back as Theo begins to pick the pace, his thrusts becoming gradually less painful as I relax and give in to the moment. It doesn't take long before both of us are panting, the pressure slowly building between my thighs.

  “Fuck, you feel too good.” His expression grows dark. "You're so tight," he whispers against my lips.

  God, his dirty talk is so hot. Hearing it, pushes me closer to the edge, my legs tensing as I wrap them around his waist, urging him to go deeper. I want more. I press my fingers against his back when I feel like I am about to come loose. I pinch my eyes shut.

  “You . . . you do . . . too,” I stumble.

  "Come for me, baby," Theo says, and that’s all it takes for me to give in to the sweet release. “I- I’m about to come, baby,” he whispers. His breath is ragged against my neck, and his release follows mine shortly afterw
ard. I hear him groan, his jaw tensing as I feel the slightest jerks tease my insides. Each one sends a wave of pleasure surging through my core.

  We're both panting when Theo pulls out and collapses next to me on the bed. I wince at the loss of him. "Are you. . . are you okay?" Theo asks between breaths, then rolls to his side and pulls me to him. His face nuzzles into the crook of my neck. I shiver, feeling his breath tickle my skin.

  "I'm fine," I answer him honestly. My mind thinks back to when I was digging my fingers into the back of his arms, begging for more. "I'm sorry if, you know . . . if it didn't . . . if I wasn't . . . that good."

  "Brielle, I don’t think you understand." He presses his fingers under my chin, then tilts my head up to meet his eyes. "That was everything I've ever wanted." He smiles down at me as he quickly presses his lips against mine. "You . . . you are everything I've ever wanted. I love you."

  Theo pulls the comforter out from under us, removing and disposing of the condom before he joins me back on the bed. Our legs are entwined as he continues to hold me to him. The two of us not wanting to let the other go for fear of what might happen. Is he still planning on leaving? And if so, for how long?

  Ever?

  "Theo," I speak up after a minute. My body twists around to face him.

  "What's wrong?"

  "It's just . . . well, you're not leaving, right?"

  I watch his face pale. His hand rubs along his chin. "It’s what I should do. The only thing I can do, in order to truly keep you safe." He pauses, then and drops his hand. "But I love you too much to ever walk away again."

  I can't hide the smile that stretches across my face. My heart is racing as I rest my head on his chest. My fingers skim the outline of one of his tattoos—some kind of bird with sharp feathers, which branch out from its wings like daggers. "Don't leave, Theo. I wouldn't survive it because. . ." My voice trails off as I take a breath and work up the nerve to say what I've wanted to for so long. "Because I love you too."

 

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