He tried another route. “Release my hand.”
Her hand remained inside his.
Oh, shit. If he couldn’t read or control her and she found out…no, no, no. Not good. What was she? Why did she have to be different? He had to break it off and quickly. He untangled his hand from hers. The hurt look on her face nearly broke him in two and disappointment weighed heavily upon his heart. So much for a promising future. He might have cried if he still had the ability.
The movie went by in a blur. He was unable to concentrate on anything but Sarah. Sitting next to her, enjoying her scent, wanting to touch her and knowing he could never have her, tortured him beyond belief.
After two hours and ten minutes of enclosed anguish, he took a step outside and breathed deep. The clean air cleared his head. While guiding her back to the Xterra, she asked him if he enjoyed the movie. He didn’t want to hurt her feelings and admit he hadn’t watched it, which was silly since he was about to hurt her even more.
“I’ve never seen anything quite like it,” he answered truthfully.
Sarah covered her mouth and laughed. “Yeah, I thought it was awful, too. Sorry to put you through that.”
“Hey, I picked the movie. You don’t have anything to be sorry about.”
She placed her hand on his arm. “Are you okay? You seem lost in thought.”
Maybe he should wait until he got her home. It would make the drive back less awkward. “I’m fine.”
He pulled out his key and pointed the fob to his SUV. A man stood between two cars, staring at them. No, not just a man—Steven. His clothes were disheveled and he reeked of liquor. Shit. John placed a guiding hand on her back. Maybe he could get her in the vehicle before—
“Hello, Sarah.”
Okay, maybe not. But she kept on walking so he stayed right with her, positioning his body between her and Steven.
“Is that how it’s going to be from now on?” Steven yelled. “You can’t even say hello?”
Sarah stopped and turned. The tangy scent of fear emanated from her trembling body, but she held her head high. “What do you want?”
Steven glanced at John before speaking to Sarah. “I want you back,” he pleaded. “Don’t you know that?”
That did it. Was the man blind? Couldn’t he see how much she despised him?
John stepped in front of her. “She doesn’t want to see you. Why do you keep bothering her?”
Sarah tugged at his arm. “John, no. I can take care of him.”
Her eyes glistened with unshed tears. He wanted to protect her, but what right did he have? None, if he planned on breaking it off.
She stood straight and brave. “You know our deal. It’s over and I’ve moved on. It’s best you did, too. Now if you don’t mind, we have someplace to be.”
Sarah took John’s arm and headed for the SUV.
“So you’re out whoring yourself now?”
She froze. John fisted his free hand. He could rip Steven a new one—the man was clearly itching for a fight—but John had no right to interfere. Besides, how would he explain himself? With anger burning throughout his body, he might not be able to rein in his strength. Then what? He couldn’t very well wipe her memory. Better to walk away.
Shielding Sarah from Steven, John whispered, “Don’t let him get to you. He’s not worth it.”
She nodded and continued walking. John opened the door for her, went around to the driver’s side, and had just clicked the seat belt together when Steven appeared at Sarah’s window. He banged his fist against it, causing Sarah to jump and cry out.
“You’re a cunt, you know that? It won’t take long for him to realize that, too!”
John took this as his cue to drive away and he fought the temptation to run over the bastard.
“I’m so sorry.” She was shaking, and not from the cold.
“Why should you be sorry? You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“I know, but as hard as I try otherwise, he still gets to me. Even ignoring him doesn’t seem to work because he just won’t go away.” She rubbed her temples. “This has been some week.”
“Because of Steven?”
“That’s part of it.” Her forehead wrinkled as if she debated on whether to tell him something else. He was about to drop it, when she continued. “Earlier this week I was attacked in the parking garage.”
“What?” Shit, he’d forgotten all about that. If he couldn’t get into her mind this evening, he certainly couldn’t have had success on Monday.
“Crazy, huh? The whole incident is kind of fuzzy. I remember someone grabbing me and then the next thing I know I’m in my car. So if I wasn’t attacked, then I’m losing my mind.”
He would have given anything to ease her mind.
“Did the police catch him?” He hadn’t bothered checking the paper, if an article even existed yet.
She stared at him, dumbfounded. “What? No. I mean, I didn’t call the police. What would I say? I didn’t have any proof. They would probably think I was crazy or drunk or something. I wasn’t hurt or robbed. It was really strange.”
Okay, so she didn’t know about Ray. If she hadn’t reported it to the police, how would she? “But you’re okay now,” he said, more as a statement than a question.
“Yeah, I’m okay as long as I don’t think about it when I have to park in that garage,” she said with a nervous laugh.
Oh man. All the more reason to break it off. He could only imagine how she would react if he ever told her his secret. Vampires were worse than abductors, right?
After he parked the Xterra, he rushed to reach her door, but she managed to beat him to it again. He walked her to her apartment and struggled with the words he needed to say when she spoke first.
“I had a nice time before Steven showed up,” she said, smiling. “Do you want to come in?”
If he were human, he’d say yes in a second, but he wasn’t human any longer and he was stupid to think he could be. “No, I don’t think that would be a good idea.”
That wonderful smile morphed into a frown and confusion flashed in her eyes. “What do you mean? Did I do something wrong? Is it because of Steven?”
God, he was such a prick. It was for the best, he just had to remember that. He shook his head. “No, it’s not anything you did. I’m sorry.”
“I don’t understand.”
He couldn’t bear looking at her face and lowered his head. “It was a mistake for me to go out at all. I’m not ready for this.” He took one more look before he turned to leave.
She grabbed his arm. “John, you’re not making any sense. If I moved too fast, I’m sorry.”
It wasn’t fair. If he wasn’t a damn vampire, he’d be in her apartment right now. He would have been happy with her. But he couldn’t stay. “This was a mistake, Sarah. Let me go.”
She lowered her arm. He ran down the stairs, needing to get as far away from her as he could. If he didn’t, he’d never leave.
He stood beside his SUV and took one last glance at her apartment windows. Whatever feelings she had for him couldn’t have been strong and she’d eventually forget him. He, however, would never get over her. She’d be in his heart forever.
Chapter 5
Misery set up camp inside John’s empty heart.
Passing the time without Sarah infiltrating his thoughts became impossible. He’d tried playing video games, but saw her in every character. She even appeared in the movies he watched. By late morning, he’d immersed himself in work, but there were only so many ways to restock the shelves and his mind kept wandering back to her. When the first customers arrived in the afternoon, he used them for conversation. Good thing they only needed a listener with their beer.
By five o’clock, he could almost function as a normal person. The place became noisy with the Friday night crowd.
He left the dining area to grab more napkins and upon his return Sarah was sitting at the bar. He ducked bac
k into the hallway before she noticed him. What was she doing here? Had he not made himself clear? He should turn around and go back to his office. If he was smart, he’d do just that. But curiosity grabbed hold. So instead of turning around, he dropped the napkins off and headed in her direction.
She spotted him walking behind the bar and her eyes widened. He stopped in front of her, keeping a safe distance away, except no distance was safe from her tantalizing scent.
Her cheeks and nose were red as if she had been out in the cold. The whites of her eyes were red, too, but he didn’t think the outdoors caused that. She looked as miserable as he felt. And he felt pretty miserable knowing he was the cause.
“Hi, John. Can we talk?”
He indicated an empty booth across the room. Gathering her coat and purse, she slid off the stool and headed in that direction. He followed and sat across from her.
She squirmed in her seat, adjusting her slacks. Once she finished, she placed her hands on the table, fingers intertwined. “I came to apologize.”
Apologize? “I don’t understand.”
“I’m sorry I wanted to pay for the movie. I’m sorry for being too forward. I can do better. You acted like you liked me. I just want to make it better again.”
What the hell had Steven done to her? John had made the mistakes last night, not her, yet she was the one apologizing. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I did.”
“What did you do wrong?”
More than she could comprehend. “It’s complicated.”
She touched his hand. Caught off guard, he gasped at the sudden warmth. Her eyes widened in surprise. Shit. He pulled his hand away.
“You feel something, too, when we touch, don’t you?” she asked with a hopeful expression.
He didn’t want to hurt her again, but she gave him no other choice. Too chicken to look her in the eyes and see the pain he would cause, he stared down at the table, but she spoke before he had a chance to lie.
“Oh,” she sighed. “You must have loved her very much.”
She wasn’t making any sense. He looked up. Now she was the one staring at the table. “Loved who?”
“The person who hurt you. I understand. I’m afraid, too.” She looked up. “But I’m tired of my mind talking me out of everything. I want to listen to my body for a change. I get a thrill when I touch you, John. If you feel the same thing, don’t you want to try and see if it could be something better?”
He shook his head back and forth ever so slightly. She’d just given him the out he needed. It would be a lie—a big fat lie—but maybe this one wouldn’t hurt her as much.
* * * *
Sarah held her breath. Had she gotten through? Was John giving in?
He sat back and crossed his arms. “I still need time to get over…her. I’m sorry. It wouldn’t be fair to you.”
Oh God. How could she compete with another woman?
“Well, I tried,” she said, shrugging. “I hope you’re able to heal your heart. I think you have a lot of love to give.” She scooted out of the booth, grabbed her coat and purse, and headed for the door.
Her nose stung and eyes burned. She had to get out, and fast. She stopped long enough to don her coat. If he was watching, she didn’t know because she refused to turn around. She would leave with her head held high and no tears. After zipping up, she walked outside and took a deep breath, letting the cold air slap her. She’d made it, and without a scene. The breakdown could come once she got home.
In her haste to see John, she had left her car in the garage and now she was forced to walk back. Alone. The fear would eat her alive if she let it. Well, if she could confront John, she should be able to confront the garage. After another deep breath, she headed for her car.
She wasn’t but a few steps from Wings when someone grabbed her shoulder and spun her around.
“So, I find you here again, huh?” Steven’s breath reeked of beer and she grimaced.
Could the day get any worse? She wrenched her shoulder free. “It’s none of your business where I go. How many times do I have to tell you?”
He grabbed her throat and slammed her against the building. Pain blossomed on contact and she winced. His grip cut off her air supply. Crap. Why couldn’t she learn to keep her mouth shut? She grabbed his fingers and pulled—it had worked with her other assailant—but it only caused him to dig deeper into her neck.
“It’s my business if I say it’s my business, Sarah. Why do you have to torment me?”
White dots floated across her vision and her chest burned. If he didn’t let go soon, she would pass out. “I’m sorry, Steven. I didn’t mean it,” she croaked. “Please let me go. You’re hurting me. I can’t breathe.”
“I should strangle you, then maybe you wouldn’t make my life miserable.”
He slammed his mouth against hers. This was always his way. Scare her and then apologize by seducing her. It had worked in the past because she thought he loved her. But he didn’t love her. He only loved her looks and the status that had brought him—the only reason he’d never hit her face. Well, she wasn’t his damned status symbol any longer.
She rammed her knee into his groin. A squeaky moan escaped between his lips and his eyes bulged in pain. Or was that shock? Whatever, the best result came when he released her.
If only she’d hit him square, he might have fallen to the ground. Instead, he doubled over, the same as Sarah did to catch her breath. But she didn’t have the luxury of time on her side. Quickly gathering her wits, she ran toward the garage. With luck, he’d be down long enough for her to reach the safety of her car.
The garage door was in sight; the handle beckoned. He slammed into her and she cried out as she crashed into the building. Grabbing her shoulder, he spun her around. He backhanded her before she had a chance to block his punch or catch her breath. Pain exploded in her right cheek. She went flying and bounced off the wall.
Chapter 6
John’s heart broke as Sarah walked out. How could he let her go so easily? Wasn’t it his goal to feel normal? To feel human? He had felt alive being with her. Now his heart had truly died.
“What did you do to her?” Heather stood at the booth, hands on her hips.
Oh shit. Not now. He rose, but she shoved him back down. Sure, he could have resisted easily enough, but what was the point? He’d already lost the only thing worth fighting for.
“You aren’t going anywhere until you tell me what happened.”
“Nothing happened. Just leave it alone.”
She sat across from him and leaned on the table. “Like hell. You were happy yesterday. I thought there was hope for you, yet. Then today you’re moping around. I thought maybe she did something to hurt you. Until I saw her,” she said as she tilted her head toward the door. “Now I’m thinking you did something to hurt her. So, are you a jerk, John Pennington? ’Cause if you are, I quit. I have enough jerks in my life. I don’t want to work for one, too.”
His insides were twisted into knots. He placed his elbows on the table and held his head in his hands. “I thought I was doing the right thing. She’s better off without me.”
“Why would you think that? Up until now, I thought you were the sweetest guy I knew. Don’t you like her anymore?”
It certainly would have been easier if he didn’t. He lowered his arms and shook his head. “That’s not it.”
“Well, then, why don’t you let her decide if you’re good enough for her. I bet it’s not too late to tell her you’re sorry.”
Could he let Sarah decide? Could it be as easy as that? Just the thought of seeing her again sparked his poor, dead heart. Wasn’t part of being mortal taking risks? He looked up at Heather. “You think she’d forgive me?”
Heather sat back and smiled. “Oh yeah, I think she would.”
* * * *
The pavement was cold and hard…and dirty. Cigarette butts lay not six inches away from her face. Sarah slowly rose to h
er hands and knees. Her body hurt in more ways than she could count.
At least Steven had run off after hitting her. He could have stayed and done more damage. It wouldn’t have been the first time.
She placed her hand on the wall while she got her bearings.
“Sarah?”
Oh God. What was John doing out here?
In a flash, he was there, wrapping an arm around her waist, supporting her as she stood. “What happened?”
“Nothing. Let me go.” Her throat burned and her voice sounded strained. She wanted to go home and forget the whole thing. She wriggled away, but her legs weren’t exactly ready for work and she wavered in her stance. He held on.
He grasped her chin. The contact caused her heart to flutter, but the pain in her neck won out. She winced.
He scowled and looked around the area. “Did Steven do this?”
This was only getting worse. As badly as she wanted to be in his arms—and man, did he smell good—she couldn’t have him. He’d made it clear. She brushed his hand away. “Just let me go. I’m okay.”
“You’re in no shape to drive. Come on inside. I’ll get an ice pack.”
The tears she had fought to control came flooding back. Why was he being nice? Why couldn’t he be a creep? It would be easier to hate him, then.
John hugged her and she let him. He felt good. He felt safe. “Ah, Sarah, I’m so sorry. If I wasn’t such a fool... Can you ever forgive me?”
Had she hit her head? Nothing he said made any sense. “Forgive what?”
Gently, he gripped her shoulders and moved her back. Agony etched across his face. “For being an idiot. For letting you walk out that door. If I hadn’t let you go, none of this would have happened.”
No way. He had to have heard the commotion, that’s why he came outside. “I don’t want your pity, John. I understood what you told me. Let me go so you don’t have to see me anymore.”
It hurt too much to see his magnificent blue eyes. He appeared in front of her and blocked her way. She kept her sights on his shirt and tried not to notice his muscular chest.
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