Just Like Me

by Dani Hall

  “Do you want to?” I heard him say, breathless.

  Did I? I wasn’t sure. One part of me wanted more, wanted so badly to experience everything I’d never experienced before. I wanted him; I wanted to know what it was like.

  But at the same time, guilt was being sewn through my veins. I’d wake up and regret it. I’d regret it if we broke up. I’d spend every day of my life looking in the mirror and knowing I had don’t some morally wrong. I wanted to be with one person, that way, for the rest of my life. I didn’t want to look my future husband in the eye and tell him how many other men I had slept with. I didn’t hold it against anyone else, that was just about my brain operated.

  Taylor hesitated when I didn’t answer; he let me slip down the wall and his hands cautious now that he knew I wasn’t sure.

  But then a shrill doorbell sounded throughout the room.

  “Damn it.” He muttered. We both paused and he put his forehead to mine, closing his eyes. Water dripped down both of us, sending tingles through our bodies. His hands were still low and he sighed, finally releasing his grip. He leaned over and hit the faucet to turn the water off. We both stood there for a moment, dripping, watching water swirl down the drain. He stood up straight and rubbed a hand over his mouth, not looking at me. “I guess I’d better get that.”

  I nodded and tried not to breathe hard as he hit the glass shower door and it flew open. He stepped down out of the shower and shook his head, sending water splashing everywhere. He grabbed a towel off a rack and tossed it to me. I caught it and he grabbed another one for himself.

  “Just hang out for a second, I guess. I’ll be right back.”

  He was rubbing the towel over his head as he exited the bathroom still dripping from the shower. I watched as he walked out into his bedroom and toward his front door. I quickly ran the towel over me, reaching for the robe that I had left on the floor. I tied it on and quickly, but quietly, headed in the same direction.

  I stopped at the entrance of his bedroom and stayed behind as I heard the locks on his front door click open.

  “Jerry, what a surprise.”

  “Why the hell are you in a bathing suit?”

  “Why the hell are you at my house?”

  “I told you to tell me everything that went on with this girl!”

  “I have told you everything.”

  “Oh, and you told me about going to see her parents last night? It’s all over the television; they’re all throwing around allegations you went up there to ask her parents’ permission to marry her!”

  “So what if I did? It’s none of their damn business. Tell them we’re married. Tell them we’re pregnant. Hell, while you’re at it, tell them we’ve had a love child that’s five years old.”

  “What are you doing here in California, Taylor? Why are you here?”

  “Maybe because I felt like being home.”

  “No, she’s here isn’t she? I saw that redecoration bill you charged to your account, Taylor. I’m not an idiot. You’re asking for trouble, Taylor, big trouble. If you expect her to stick around, you had better carefully reconsider what you’re doing. You are moving her at warp speed.”

  “This couldn’t have waited until tomorrow? I’m ruining my life, blah blah blah, I get it. I’m taking her up to see my dad tomorrow, my mom Sunday. I just warned you. Now, can we move on?”

  There was a pause as Jerry took in a deep breath.

  “You mark my words. You’re moving her too fast and it’s going to end in a train wreck. She can’t handle all this pressure. And the media is going to have a hay day when you two split.”

  “Thanks for the warning, Jerry.”

  “Taylor-”

  I heard the door slam.

  Footsteps sounded on his hardwood floors and he appeared in the doorway.

  “What are you doing?” He asked, leaning against the doorframe.

  “Eavesdropping.” I answered honestly. He reached over to me and tugged at the fabric that held my robe together.

  “Now, where were we before Jerry so rudely interrupted us?” My robe opened and Taylor leaned down and kissed my neck. He backed me up toward his bed and then he gently lowered me down. I felt my head hit the pillows as Taylor moved over me, running his hands down my stomach and toward the top of my bikini bottom. He was pulling my robe off, kissing down my collar bone. I felt a rush of heat and uncertainty.

  “Wait.” I said, pushing my hand against his chest. He stopped kissing me, and his hands remained still over my hips.

  “What?”

  “I don’t…I’m not…”

  “If you’re not on the pill, it’s ok. I’ve got-” He looked over to a dresser drawer, he made a move like he was going to get up.

  “No.” I said, pulling him back toward me. He looked confused, putting a hand up to the side of my face.

  “What is it?”

  “I don’t think…I’m ready, for this.” I finally breathed out, waiting for him to be disappointed. I was surprised when he raised an eyebrow at me and flipped over onto his back, beside me on the bed.

  “You’re not mad?” I squeaked.

  “Mad? Kale, why would I be mad?”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be,” He turned on his side, his body framing over mine. “I’m not pressuring you. It doesn’t have to be tonight. Or anytime soon, for that matter”

  He tucked a piece of hair behind my ear, watching me as I closed my eyes. I was finally able to properly breathe again. It didn’t have to be tonight. He was right. I didn’t have to give in just yet.

  “So…you’re obviously…” He cleared his throat. “Inexperienced?”

  “I guess that’s one way to put it.”

  “Right, right. And that’s ok.”

  “You have…?”

  “Yea.” He answered quickly.

  “Man,” I said, closing my eyes and cracking a smile. “What would your fan girls say if they found out I wouldn’t bang you?”

  We both laughed and I moved onto my side, he took his place behind me and began running his fingers down my back, careful not to disturb my damp bikini. I had a feeling he was tracing my scars.

  “That’s the problem with fan girls. With them, it’d be easy to get them in my bed. It’s not a challenge. But with you, I’ll have to work for it. I’ll have to earn it. It actually means something with you.”

  “Well, you may be working a very long time.”

  “I can live with that. If it takes 20 years after we get married, I’d have to deal with it.”

  I opened my eyes and turned over to face him.

  “What?”

  “Well, hopefully not that long.”

  I didn’t correct him that I was flabbergasted at his casual mention of marriage. I giggled nervously as I finally turned to face him and rested my hands against his chest. He rubbed his fingers down my arm, thoughtful.

  “Most Hollywood marriages never last, right?” I asked.

  “We don’t have to be a statistic. But before marriage…normally people live together.”

  “And how is that supposed to work?”

  “You move in with me.”

  I watched his face, trying to find a punch line somewhere. But he looked serious.

  “Move in with you?”

  “Yea.”

  “Here?”

  “Here, South Carolina, where ever I am.”

  “It’d be nice; I think it’s a little early. It’d be hell trying to commute to my college.”

  “You could take online classes.”

  I didn’t expect that.

  “I’m supposed to be experiencing the college life,” I teased lightly. “You know, living it up and such.”

  “I’m about to finish up this murder movie and I can take a break for a little while. We can stay in this house, vacation a little bit. You finish out the semester and then just take whatever classes you want to online. Then I can go back to work, eventually. And you can travel with me. I heard they’re hav
ing auditions for a movie that’s going to be filmed in the Caribbean.”

  “My scholarship only covers my degree at my university. I can’t take classes online.”

  “I’ll cover you, and you can be a counselor. Or a professional pancake flipper, or whatever it is you want to do.”

  “But if we ever broke up, I’d be in a bunch of shit. I wouldn’t have the money for a degree, I wouldn’t have a real job.”

  “I’m not saying you have to quit college. Once we get settled in somewhere, if filming goes on for a long while in a place, you can put in a semester there on campus.”

  “But that’d take forever; credits don’t always transfer to other colleges. I’d have credits all over the place and no real degree. Not to mention how complicated it’d be to have to switch colleges every semester.”

  “We’ve got all the time in the world. Do you honestly want to spend the next two years in a classroom, listening to people that don’t give a shit about you or your career? You get a piece of paper saying you listened to bullshit for four years and maybe get a job somewhere?”

  Well, yea. When you got right down to it, I guess it did sound kind of bad.

  “But what if something happens to us?”

  “I told you, I’m not such a huge dick that I’d throw you out in the streets without a dime.”

  “Yea, maybe you’d give me a nickel.”

  “Screw you.”

  “Is that an invitation?”

  He grinned and rolled back over on top of me. He leaned his face in close, and I could hear his voice just above a whisper.

  “C’mon, Kale. Classroom verses Caribbean. Bullshit verses me.”

  “Aren’t both of those bullshit?” I giggled and he leaned further, putting his lips up to my ear.

  “I’m all you need. You’d never have to worry about anything. Please?”

  He leaned back up and kept my gaze.

  I had one life to live. I could die tomorrow. Would I have wanted to spend my last day in a classroom, or with Taylor?

  But I couldn’t say yes to him now. How could I give up part of my life like that?

  “Maybe.”

  Chapter Forty-Seven

  I woke up early the next morning, smiling when I felt Taylor’s arms wrapped around me. I looked over and he was sleeping soundly, beautiful drool seeping down the pillow. I leaned in and kissed his forehead, remembering what we had discussed last night.

  I carefully extracted myself from Taylor’s arms and began walking through my room and towards a door I had almost missed when I had seen my room the day before. It looked like a tree amongst all the beauty, but the wood was actually a door.

  The fairy dream continued into the bathroom. The floors were a green and marble swirl with gold specks. The walls were painted the same purple as my ceiling and green towels accented the whole thing. My shower was normal, a large green and purple curtain hung in a circle around the shower area.

  I set my outfit on the sink counter and stripped down quickly. I stepped into the shower and set the water warm. I held back a yelp as the water came out cold at first, slowly warming up. I smiled at the various shower supplies that lined the shower, including the pink shampoo Taylor had held out to me at the drugstore that night after the costume party.

  I heard the bathroom door click open and I froze, listening.

  “Kale?”

  “Yea, I’m in here.” I called, not moving an inch.

  “Ok.”

  I heard the door click back. I breathed a sigh of relief and reached for a shampoo, surprised when I heard footsteps cross the room.

  “Taylor?”

  “Yea?”

  I shook my head, confused.

  “Everything alright?”

  I peeked out at him; he was sitting on the side of a low counter surrounding a Jacuzzi tub.

  “Everything’s fine. Go ahead.” I bit my lip as I looked at him, not sure I was comfortable. But it’s not like he was watching me bathe. I was behind a curtain.

  He seemed to be acting peculiar as I let the curtain fall back into place. I was very self-conscious as I squirted a red shampoo into my hand and quickly lathered up my hair.

  “I just thought I’d better warn you about my dad.” He finally sighed.

  “It couldn’t wait?”

  “I thought I’d be able to talk more if I couldn’t see your beautiful face.”

  Oh, great. His dad is already sounding awesome.

  “Ok.”

  “He’s going to be hard on you.”

  “Like my Mom was last night?”

  “No, no your mom came around.”

  “Oh.”

  “He’s going to ask some personal questions, probably. He’s not going to like it if we move in together. He’s been ok with everyone in my past because they’ve never been serious. Fan girls like a guy that’s not serious about a girl because it keeps their hopes up, as cruel as that sounds. They stop falling for a guy when he starts getting serious. Dad was ok with us when we weren’t serious, but I think he’s realized how serious I really am.”

  “You’re going to break your fans’ hearts.”

  I heard a low chuckle. “Well, that doesn’t bother me as much anymore. I’m not going to lie, my dad drives me crazy.”

  “You’re making me nervous here.” I rinsed out the lathered up shampoo and started on the conditioner.

  “I’m just telling you, it’s not going to be easy today. And I apologize in advance for whatever happens.”

  I didn’t say anything as I finished up and turned off the water. I cleared my throat, wondering if Taylor would get the hint that I had to get dressed. I heard him laugh.

  “Is that my cue? Am I supposed to leave now?”

  “Umm…” I glanced down and I heard him laugh again. I heard shuffling around and a green towel got thrown above the curtain.

  “Wrap that around you, I want to show you something.” I could hear something mischievous in his voice. But I wrapped the towel around me and poked my head out of the curtain.

  “What?”

  “Come out here,” He was standing beside the shower with his arms crossed over his chest.

  I stepped out of the shower and stopped a few feet from where Taylor was standing. I tried not to rock nervously on my feet.

  “What?” I repeated. He didn’t say a word as he stepped up to the shower curtain. I was about to ask if he had taken any medication today, but then he reached his hand behind the shower curtain. I stopped breathing when I saw the shadow of his hand behind the shower curtain.

  He strode quickly to the door and laughed as I tried to follow. He shut the door too quickly behind him, and I clicked the lock. I caught sight of myself in the mirror and caught a glimpse of my red face. I couldn’t believe he’d seen my shadow while showering.

  Chapter Forty-Eight

  “Are you still mad?”

  I was in the front seat of his car, arms crossed, gazing out the window. Every time I thought I was over it, I’d get mad all over again.

  “I’m not mad.”

  “Good.”

  “What’s a term that means very mad?”

  “…livid?”

  “There you go.” I said, watching as trees whirled by on the side of the highway. Taylor sighed.

  “It’s not like I saw anything.”

  “You did see.”

  “It was just like you in your bikini last night. No different. I wasn’t even touching you. That’s a lot different than last night. It was just your outline.”

  I was glad my head was toward the window so he couldn’t see me blush. I felt his hand tug at my sleeve and he unwrapped one of my arms from across my chest. He laced his fingers through mine and rested our hands on the armrest between us.

  “I’m sorry.” He didn’t sound sorry. “But we’re about to meet my dad, and it’d probably be better if you weren’t pissed at me.”

  “You won’t do it again?”

  “No.” I nodded, somewhat sati
sfied. “Not until you invite me in with you.” He winked and I threw my head back in frustration, but I couldn’t help but smile at his humor.

  I was jolted from his joke when I realized we were pulling into a driveway. Before us stood a huge house…maybe house wasn’t the word for it. It was more like one of those huge mansions you see in movies. Taylor jammed the gear into park, and I looked up at him. He squinted his eyes at me, a smooth smile in place.

  “You look sick.” I teased.

  “I’m excited you get to meet my family. I hope they realize how important you are to me.”

  “I hope they realize I might throw up if they ask about our intimacy details.”

  “I’ll be honest, I haven’t seen you naked.”

  “Ha-ha.”

  “C’mon.”

  He pulled the lever on the door, releasing himself from the vehicle. I followed suit. The family didn’t gather outside on the front porch like my family had done. We walked right up to the door; Taylor even had to ring the doorbell.

  Even then they didn’t greet us. A servant came and ushered us into the house.

  “Mr. Jett is currently in his study. Would you care to wait in the lounge with Mrs. Jett and the children?”

  “That’d be fine.” Taylor nodded toward the servant. She quickly turned and led us down all sorts of hallways and through different rooms, finally guiding us into an area with several couches and chairs. It was all fine looking, I was scared to breathe or even step on the floor. Vases and glass and all sorts of things were everywhere. When we arrived in a nice looking living room I noticed Taylor’s stepmother sitting upright on one of the couches, reading some kind of book. She had dirty blonde hair that was pulled back into a bun on top of her head. She had fair skin and a pointy nose that reminded me of a bird. The tallest boy was slumped into a recliner, playing a video game. The smaller boy was coloring angrily outside the lines of a coloring book on the floor. A little girl was sitting cross-legged on the floor, brushing her doll’s hair. All the children had dark hair and fair skin. The dark hair must be from their father, the pale skin from their mother. Taylor must look a lot like his father.