by Unknown
Kit shakes her head. ‘I’ll take you back to wherever you’re staying tonight. You and I can have a talk on the way. Wait here. I don’t want you going back in there. I’ll get your coat.’
Annabel is pretending to be okay, but she is as white as a sheet.
‘Annabel? Sweetie?’ Kit crouches down by her chair. ‘Are you okay?’
Annabel turns to her, and Kit can see she is fighting back the tears. ‘Not really,’ she says. ‘I’ve spent my whole life trying to meet this woman, and I suppose, stupidly, I thought she’d meet me and want to be… well… my mother. I thought she’d realize how much she’d missed me.’ Annabel laughs bitterly. ‘I had this vision of her throwing her arms around me, and it would feel so real, I could literally feel what it was like – like coming home. And part of me never wanted to meet her in case that didn’t happen, but I never thought it would be like this. I never thought she’d be such a fucking bitch.’ She spits out the last words and Kit recoils slightly.
‘Let me talk to her. Will you be okay with Adam?’
Annabel nods and looks up at Adam, whose face is filled with concern.
Kit watches her closely before turning to Adam. ‘Would you drive Annabel home? Is that okay? The kids are still with you tonight, aren’t they?’
‘Yes. And sure, I can drive Annabel back to yours. If you need some time with your mom, Annabel can always stay with us.’
‘Where will she stay?’ Tory interjects, suspiciously.
‘She could sleep on your trundle bed,’ Adam says, with a vague hint of regret.
Tory’s face lights up. She has been suspicious of her father and her aunt. Nothing she can put her finger on, nothing she can, at thirteen, name, yet there has been something that doesn’t feel right; but all that is forgotten.
‘Yes! That would be awesome! Will you? Say yes! Please! Say you will!’
‘Are you sure?’ Annabel flashes a look at Adam.
‘Sure I’m sure. We’d love to have you.’
Steve pulls Kit aside. ‘I was hoping I could come back to yours.’ He nuzzles her ear.
‘You can,’ she says, although there are other things on her mind tonight, like how to talk to her mother, and how to comfort Annabel. ‘Why don’t you come over in an hour?’
‘Will your mother be at your house?’
‘I doubt it. My house has never been good enough in the past. I’m almost certain she’s got a suite at Seasons Hall.’
A small Relais Chateaux, a couple of towns over, it is fiercely expensive and exclusive enough to satisfy even Ginny.
Steve raises an eyebrow. ‘Seasons Hall? Nice.’
Kit doesn’t react to Steve. She just wants to get out and talk to her mother, do something she’s never been able to do before: vent her fury.
For how dare her mother be so dismissive? Kit can’t even begin to imagine how Annabel must be feeling. Yet another rejection, after all these years, and this one in public.
How dare Ginny do this to her sister?
‘You have no idea what she’s like,’ Ginny says, as soon as Kit pulls out of the car park of the Greenhouse and onto the Post Road. ‘You think I’ve been rude and cold, but let me tell you, this girl is dangerous.’ Ginny closes her eyes and sighs. ‘I can’t believe she came looking for you and found you, and I can’t believe you’ve been so naive as to let her in.’
‘What are you talking about?’ Kit says derisively. ‘She’s not dangerous. She’s a kid who’s lost, who wanted nothing more than to meet her mother, and you didn’t want to know. Not that I’m particularly surprised. It’s not like you were ever going to win any awards for being a great mother, but you could at least have had the grace and the good manners to pretend you were interested. I’ve never seen anything like the coldness you exhibited towards her tonight.’
Kit’s words pour out in a torrent. Words she has never dared say to her mother before, their relationship always having been distant and formal. But her rage is forcing her on, the years and years of pent-up frustration and fury finally coming out, finally being expressed in the open.
‘I know I haven’t been a good mother.’ Ginny’s reply is slow, measured. ‘And I do feel guilty about that, and I apologize to you for not being around more, but do not point the finger at me about that Annabel Plowman.’ She takes a deep breath before continuing. ‘Do you really want to know who she is? Do you really want to know what kind of fire you’re playing with?’
‘Sure,’ Kit says, knowing that her mother will attempt to justify her behaviour in any way she can.
‘She’s an alcoholic and a drug addict.’
‘So? You told me that already and she and I have talked about it. She’s been clean and sober for months.’
‘That’s just the beginning,’ Ginny says flatly. ‘She’s bad news, through and through. She has only ever attempted to get in touch with me when she’s needed money. This is a girl who does everything with an ulterior motive.’
‘That’s insane,’ Kit says.
‘Oh yes? And I’ll tell you something else I witnessed tonight, which also seems insane: it’s clear she’s after your ex-husband.’
Kit snorts with laughter, although she saw how Adam looked at Annabel. ‘Adam may like the look of her, but there’s no way she’s after him. It’s ridiculous to even think it. Not to mention that he’s my ex-husband. She would never ever do that.’ But her voice falters. She isn’t sure.
‘I don’t believe there is anything that Annabel Plowman wouldn’t do if she decided there was something she wanted, and betraying a new-found sister is the very least of the things she is capable of. Do you know where your credit cards are? Does she have access to your computer? Your bank account?’
‘Oh for God’s sake.’ Kit stops the car. ‘This is the most absurd thing I’ve ever heard. And whatever you think of her, whatever ridiculous things you imagine she’s up to, the fact remains: this is your daughter. A woman you’ve never met, never acknowledged. And what if you’re wrong? I saw real pain in her face tonight. I saw pain, and hurt. Whoever you think she might be, she is still your daughter, and whatever her transgressions of the past, you owe her a chance.’
‘Kit, I understand what you’re saying, and perhaps for someone else this would be true, but leopards do not change their spots.’
‘At least will you think about it? Think about meeting with her so you can talk it over. Give her a chance. That’s all I’m asking. If you’re right, you never have to see her again.’
‘And what about you?’ Ginny demands. ‘How will you protect yourself?’
‘Let me worry about that,’ Kit says. ‘Let me worry about what her motives are with me.’
‘Please, Kit. Watch her with Adam. It scares me. I know it seems to you like I’m being overdramatic, but this time I’m not. I’m horrified that she’s here. It makes me think she has bigger fish to fry, and I just don’t know what they are. Please, Kit, get her away from you. Get her away from the kids, from Adam. She isn’t like you. She doesn’t operate from a good place. You need to get her out of your life.’
Kit takes a deep breath, as if she is about to say something, and a picture of Adam looking at Annabel, gazing at Annabel, comes into her mind. A feeling of being unsettled, of emotional drama, suddenly overwhelms her and she bursts into tears.
And her mother does something she has never done before: she puts her arms around Kit and squeezes her tight, rocking her gently, rubbing her back.
‘How will we know? What are we going to do?’ The frustration and fear trickle down her cheeks in the form of tears while she relaxes into her mother’s arms, for the first time in her life.
‘I don’t know,’ Ginny murmurs. ‘We need to talk to Peter. He knows what to do about these things.’
Kit pulls back. ‘Peter?’
Ginny smiles faintly. ‘The man I’m going to marry.’ She holds out her left hand, where a huge Asschercut diamond sparkles on her fourth finger. ‘He was supposed to come with me this evenin
g but had to make a detour to Europe for a business meeting. He’ll be here in a couple of days. He’ll know what to do. And I promise you, this will all feel better in the morning. We’ll work it out. Now why don’t you drop me off at the hotel? I’m going to need at least two sleeping pills tonight after this. And you probably will too.’
‘I… I can’t. Steve’s coming over.’
‘Steve?’
‘He was at the dinner. He’s my…’ She can’t say ‘boyfriend’; she feels ridiculous calling Steve her ‘boyfriend’. ‘He’s someone I’m dating.’
‘Well, at least he’ll help you take your mind off it.’ Ginny smiles. ‘But don’t, for heaven’s sake, tell him. Don’t tell anyone anything for now.’
‘Even Adam?’
‘I don’t know. Let me think about that one. My gut says do nothing until we talk to Peter. He was the one who found the private investigator for me. Let’s just hold fire until Peter gets here and tells us what to do.’
26
It should have been a wonderful night, but instead…
Kit feels unsafe. Steve is lying in bed, snoring faintly, and Kit has been awake since three in the morning, at first hoping sleep would overcome her, and eventually getting up and going downstairs to read a book, to try to quiet her mind, take her thoughts to somewhere else.
Her life is usually terribly dull, but it occurs to her that every time her mother is around, a drama occurs. Kit hates drama, finds it unnecessary and unsettling, and strives to keep her life as balanced, ordered and calm as possible.
She watches other people she knows, women going through divorce, other mothers in school, get pulled into gossip and arguments, watches urgent, whispered conversations take place in the corridors of the school, and strolls past, grateful that she is not tempted to take part, and nor are her friends.
Already, women she knows, the ones who love the drama, are starting to ask her about Charlie. Is Charlie okay? Is it true? They’re just concerned, of course. And Kit just smiles and says Charlie is great, and refuses to be drawn, refuses to take the bait, to comment any further. They may want the dirt, but they’re not going to get it from her.
Charlie would do the same for her, did, in fact, when Kit was going through her divorce. Everyone wanted to know everything, and Charlie kept quiet, a fact for which Kit will be eternally grateful.
But this is something different. The foundations of her life feel as if they are shifting. First with a sister she never knew she had turning up, then Charlie losing everything, and now her mother arriving and accusing her sister of being about as bad news as you can be. And Kit doesn’t know what to do.
It can’t get any worse, she thinks, but at the same time she feels as if she is on tenterhooks, waiting for the next bad thing. It feels as if she is living in an increasingly fragile house of cards which is being shaken with every new day.
The reading isn’t working. Perhaps some tea. She makes it, appreciating her house at this hour of the day; it is six o’clock and absolutely quiet, no children, no noise, no errands to run or things to do.
Her mobile phone rings, shrilly, disturbing the silence, and she jumps, her heart instantly beating faster. When the phone rings late at night or early in the morning, and her children are not with her, she always presumes the worst, and picks it up with a shaking hand, trying to prepare herself for terrible news.
‘Darling? What are you doing awake?’ It’s her mother.
‘I couldn’t sleep. What are you doing awake, and why are you calling? I thought you didn’t get up until noon.’ Kit gets a flashback of staying with her mother when she was young, and the staff tiptoeing round the house all morning for fear of waking her up. Ginny would emerge from her bedroom at around noon, in a cashmere robe and slippers, to have tea before stepping in the shower and getting ready for her day.
Ginny laughs. ‘I’ve become a bit of a reformed character with Peter,’ she trills. ‘We’re up at the crack of dawn every day doing yoga together on the terrace.’
‘You are?’ Kit is stunned.
‘Oh yes. I’ve cut out all caffeine and we’ve gone organic with everything. I’m a new woman. Honestly, I feel twenty years younger.’
That might be the new round of Botox, Kit thinks, but doesn’t say.
‘I was going to leave a message. I just spoke to Peter and he said you ought to check all your things. Change the passwords on your accounts, that sort of thing.’
‘Mother, don’t you think that’s a little excessive? Even if you’re right that I should check, I just don’t believe she would do that.’
‘I promise you, Kit, she would. And isn’t it always better to be safe rather than sorry? Just double-check that everything is safe. She’s a clever girl, and it won’t be the first time.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘She was caught stealing money before. It was a long time ago, and her father told me it was to fuel the drug addiction, but she was lucky. They didn’t press charges. I always thought they should, because if there are no consequences, what’s to stop her doing it again?’
‘But…’ Kit splutters. ‘Even if that’s true, she isn’t doing drugs now. Why would she do that?’
‘Is she working?’
There is a pause. ‘I don’t think so.’
‘So. Just check. That’s all I’m asking. I understand how hard this is for you, you know, and I understand your loyalty, and that you cannot accept my not wanting to have anything to do with her, but let’s talk again when you have done some checking.’ Ginny pauses. ‘I mean it, Kit,’ she continues. ‘You need to check your stuff, and Adam ought to as well.’
‘I’ll go upstairs now. She’s staying at… Adam’s. With the kids.’
Even as the words leave her mouth Kit realizes that she’s been burying her head in the sand.
‘Oh God,’ she attempts a laugh, ‘I think I’ve been really stupid. You’re right. There’s… something… But…’ She tries to make sense of it. ‘I just can’t believe that anything has actually happened. Adam likes her, I saw that tonight, but it would be so inappropriate. Do you really think they are?’
‘Oh darling.’ Ginny sounds sad. ‘Men are such shallow creatures, and she is a stunning girl. You’re quite right that it shouldn’t happen, but I’m afraid it probably already has.’
‘What?’ Kit starts to shake. ‘Do you know something?’
‘No, but I saw the way he looked at her. He’s smitten.’
‘You’re wrong,’ Kit says firmly. ‘I can see that he’s fascinated by her, but honestly, I don’t think anything has happened. It would be like sleeping with a child, and however bad you think she is, I think she cares about me, and she knows that would be unacceptable.’
‘She doesn’t care about you,’ Ginny says. ‘I promise you, she doesn’t care about anyone. She’s a sociopath, and the only thing she cares about is herself. Oh, and money.’
‘Even if that were true, that doesn’t mean she’d steal my husband.’
There is a long pause.
‘I mean, ex-husband.’
Ginny exhales before speaking slowly, choosing her words carefully. ‘I think that’s exactly what she’s trying to do. I think you represent everything she’s ever wanted, and she wants what you have. And I believe nothing will stop her.’
‘Do you really think it’s that strong?’
‘I do,’ Ginny says. ‘I finally figured it out. She wants to replace you.’
Kit takes the tea upstairs and pauses outside the office, where Annabel has been sleeping.
Pushing the door open gingerly, she goes to the closet and riffles around. Annabel’s clothes, and many of Kit’s, are crumpled on the floor. She reaches further into the closet and pulls out her own favourite cashmere wrap. It has been shoved damply in the back of the closet, and Kit spits with rage as she discovers the irreparable hole.
‘Oh my God!’ She is instantly furious. ‘How dare she?’
She sits down at her computer and gazes b
lankly at the screen, overwhelmed at the prospect of Annabel being dishonest. Could that really be the case?
And Adam. Could that be true, what Ginny has suggested? Could anyone be that duplicitous? To stay in your house, be part of your family, all the while knowing that sleeping with this person would hurt you more than you could ever imagine?
It wouldn’t just hurt her, she realizes. It would be… horrific. Even the thought of the two of them together – she allows herself a few seconds to close her eyes and imagine it, imagine Adam performing the moves she remembers so well, on Annabel – even the thought of it makes her feel physically sick.
Charlie asked if she had the hots for her ex-husband. She didn’t think so. Thought that chapter was well and truly closed. But it’s one thing choosing not to be with someone, quite another for them to choose to be with someone else.
With a start, she realizes that it has been easy to get on with Adam recently precisely because there has been no one special. Countless dates, and she is certain he has been getting lots of regular sex, but no one who was a threat to her, no one she had to compare herself with, no one who was mothering her children when they were not at her house.
She can go pumpkin picking with him and the kids, and pretend to be a happy family still, because there has never been anyone else. She was thinking of asking him to come along with them to the Christmas tree farm. It could be Steve who comes, but that would feel wrong. He barely knows her kids, her kids barely know him – the handful of brief meetings they have had don’t exactly count. There isn’t enough intimacy there, and – honestly? – she doesn’t even know if she wants him to come.
She realizes now that she has already envisioned the family outing to get the tree. They would head up to Maple Row in Easton, as they have done every year since the children were born.
They will all dress up warmly, thermal underwear, thick gloves, hats and boots, for it is always colder than they expect, and nobody wants a repeat of the year Tory cried non-stop because she was so utterly freezing.
They will start at the bottom, waiting in line at the food stand, and buy hot dogs and doughnuts first, hot chocolates for the kids, and warm apple cider for her and Adam, then sit on low benches around the fire, chatting with strangers, and Tory will fall in love with all the dogs that people bring along, and once again, as she has done every year for many, many years, she will beg her parents for a puppy for Christmas.