by TJ Hamilton
“Where is he?” I bellow.
My brother’s eyes widen with frivolity. “Wow! You look beautiful, sis. Where have you been tonight?”
I am in no mood for conversation.
“I need to see Nick. Where is he?” I stomp my foot.
“He’s out. Working. Has been for the past day. I’m getting ready to go home. Nick said you were ready for field placement now. I trust his judgement, but going off how you were the other day, I didn’t think you were ready at all.”
“I’ve been doing field work tonight already, so yes, apparently I’m fine.”
I storm into the room that has been made into my closet and rip the constrictive dress from my body, popping the delicate buttons at the back as I do so. I let the dress drop to the ground and make my way over to the hanging clothes. I put on thick black leggings and a tight pink sports top with a racer back and pull on my running shoes. I pull all of the pins out of my hair and roughly pull as much of my short hair as I can into a messy bun. I head back out of the closet and see Simon’s suitcases beside the door. The thought of my brother leaving saddens me but then I figure I won’t be seeing him much for a while now anyway. My focus is Tench and my job. It just has to be that way. Simon comes up behind me and wraps his big strong arms around me. I hold onto him as if it’s the last time I’m ever going to see him again.
“I miss you already,” I say as I look up to his towering frame.
“You’ll do good, sis. That fucker won’t know what’s hit him.”
I feel a tinge of ownership of Tench when I hear him being spoken about like this. A part of me wants to protect him after the way he just treated me. I almost feel sorry for him. I let go of Simon and shake my head to rid the softening emotions towards Tench. He did bad, he is bad!
“I’ve got to run, Simon. I’ll see you next time.”
He smiles at our routine farewell to each other. We never say goodbye.
I run all the way to the agency building and make my way to the side door that I used with Liz. I look up towards the hidden camera in the corner of the alcove and the side door clicks open. The same two men as before are sitting at the desks as I enter. Everything feels like déjà vu as I wait for the elevator to arrive. On cue, Nick strolls out of the elevator as the doors spring open. I don’t speak a word to anyone. I’m too angry, too hurt and definitely too overwhelmed by it all. Nick offers a smile but I feel nothing but hurt towards him to bring myself to smile back. We enter the elevator together and I can see all over his face that he desperately wants to talk to me.
“You did really well tonight, Mia.”
I raise both eyebrows in complete astonishment. He cannot be serious right now?
“Is that your admittance that the whole thing was set up?”
Nick tilts his head to the side. “Mia, it had to be done this way. We needed a true natural reaction when you saw him. I don’t think you could’ve pulled it off otherwise.”
“Is that right? So the thing you said to me, was that all part of it too? Or is that what you really think of me?”
Nick comes over to me but I put my hand out and stop him. I can’t. I can’t touch him. It will spellbind my senses. I look into his eyes. I love him so much it hurts.
“Mia, I would never think those things about you. Please understand, I needed to do that for work.”
My head spins wildly out of control. I don’t know what’s worse now? Nick is such a convincing liar, I feel like I was better off when I thought he’d always think of me as a whore. But now I know he doesn’t—that he lied to me—and I realise that I’m as much of a pawn in this as Tench is. I am Nick’s job. He said as much. Nick looks down at me, still inches away from my face. He leans on the wall behind me, both arms on either side of me, trapping me. My heart pounds in my ears. I want things to be different. I don’t want to have all these mixed emotions anymore. It’s a constant roller-coaster and I’m ready to get off. I let out a huff. Nick takes the opportunity to bend down and kiss me. Every inch of me is screaming to stop but my body just isn’t capable of doing that when it comes to him. I breathe in deep and inhale his skin against mine. I pull back and look into his eyes.
“I can’t do this, Nick.” I hold back the tears but my voice sounds shaky.
“Can’t do what?” Nick says as he pulls back the loose hair around my face.
“I can’t be in love with you like this and be with someone else. I’m just not that strong.”
I almost beg for Nick to say something harsh and cruel again so that I can go back to hating him. But he doesn’t. He doesn’t give me anything.
I close my eyes and prepare myself for what I’m about to say. “I can’t see you after tonight. Not until it’s over. It’ll be too hard for me. I have to do this alone now.” I search his eyes for answers.
His smile is more like a grimace and he nods his head. Closing his eyes, he presses his forehead against mine. The laser scans over us and as the elevator stops we both pull away from each other. It feels like my limbs are being yanked off and the ache inside me is excruciating.
Before we step out of the elevator I look over at Nick. “Please just tell me one thing?” He looks concerned. “Is Charlie involved at all?” I plead that he isn’t.
Nick smiles softly and shakes his head. “No. He’s not. He was given the tickets through us but he doesn’t know that. I called him as a concerned boyfriend. I knew that would spur him on to take you to the ballet. I just hoped you didn’t find out what ballet it was. We knew Tench was going. It worked like clockwork.”
I pinch my eyes shut. I am nothing but a piece of the Tench puzzle to the agency. Am I really ready for this?
“The boss wants to see you. There are some things you need to be aware of before tomorrow.”
Great. What now?
TWENTY-THREE
I follow Nick into the briefing room. People are already gathered around. As soon as I enter, everyone approaches me and congratulates me on my efforts. I shake each of their hands but in reality, I just want to punch them all in the face. As if I had any choice in their little plan they had for me! What I did was apparently … natural. What a bunch of assholes! I smile arrogantly as I shake each of their hands.
The boss approaches me last. “Well done, Thyme. You handled that very well. From here on in, it is up to you. Take a seat, we’ll run through some of the basics that you should know about the operation.”
His words remind me that I really don’t know much at all about any of this. I take a seat next to the boss and Nick sits next to me. I really wish he would sit on the other side of the planet! This is torture!
The boss leans in and hands me a piece of paper that shows every single person who Tench is associated with … including me. “We’re running with the story that you were in Italy with Charlie Manetti. Charlie knows you fled to get away from the Principal so it looks like he’ll conveniently go along with that story for us if you keep it up. The Principal is importing something from Russia in the next three weeks. When he mentions anything about Russia, you need to pay attention. We have eyes and ears on the ground level of Tench’s mansion now. It’s the upper levels that we still can’t reach …”
Under my breath, I sigh with relief. That’s where Tench’s bedroom is, so hopefully Nick won’t be able to see me up there. A flash of Tench above me, in the midst of passion, sinks into my mind. My nipples send out a jolt of electricity. Why are these feelings for Tench coming back like this?
“Thyme? Do you understand that?” The boss clears his throat.
“Yes, sir. I understand.” I have no idea what he just said while I was in my daze about Tench.
“Very well. So from here, you are on your own. If you need to contact us, head to the Opera House. That is your rendezvous point.”
I nod. That’s it. I’m on my own. I am no longer one of them. I am with Tench now. Even if it’s fake, it’s still hard to get my head around it.
Nick walks me to the elevator. “I’ll
have all of your things sent over to your apartment,” he says as the elevator arrives. “Remember, I’ll be waiting for you when all of this is over.”
I don’t know what to say at a moment like this. Am I saying goodbye to the love of my life to go and be with another man, but yet I’m coming back to him after? I frown at Nick as I enter the elevator. He leans against the door for a moment.
“You’re really struggling with this, aren’t you?” he asks as he touches the side of my face.
I lean my cheek into his strong hand and close my eyes. I slowly nod in agreement. Nick’s hand slides away from my face and I look down at the ground as the elevator doors close. I can’t bear to look up at him. My already fractured heart splinters further. What have I got myself into?
I step into my apartment and find another folder on my coffee table. It’s late and I’m tired but I open it anyway. It’s everything I need to know about Tench and everyone associated with him. There’s background information about Toni Toho that I never knew before, like what his criminal history is, and his mother and father, where he came from and what school he attended. There is so much information to get through before tomorrow. I feel like I should’ve been doing this for the past two weeks. Maybe they thought I wasn’t ready until now? I read over Tench’s history first. His criminal history is extensive, and started from an early age. His mother died when he was twelve and he was raised by his philandering businessman father, who is now onto wife number five. No wonder the guy has no clue about how a woman should be properly treated! I lie back on the couch and read over the pages and pages of information. Flossy jumps up and stretches herself along the length of me. The words on the page become blurry as I read over how Tench bought his first night club when he was nineteen.
I suck in thick air and abruptly blow out a puff. The piece of paper across my face drifts up and I start from my sleep. I scramble to get up and papers fall to the ground. I stretch out my aching back, realising that I’ve fallen asleep on the couch overnight. I squint towards the sun that beams through the tall windows of my apartment. I slowly wake myself up and hit play on the apartment’s remote.
Daft Punk’s electronic funk plucks a cool tune about getting lucky as I dance my way to the bathroom, preparing myself to turn back into Miranda.
Unlike before, this time I prepare to become my alter ego for a whole new reason than the last. I can’t decide if being an undercover agent is better or worse than prostitution? Or is doing what I’m doing now the same thing but with a different title? One hot shower, one cup of coffee and quickly blow-drying my short hair, and I begin to feel the way I used to when I transformed into character.
This is easier than I anticipated. It takes a certain kind of person to do what I do and I’m not sure if I can ever move on from it. Maybe Nick was just speaking the truth: once a whore always a whore?
I put on my brand new white high shorts with a bold tropical flower print, tuck a white t-shirt into them and slip on a matching jacket to go with the shorts. When I slide into my nude colour pumps, my legs look like they run all the way up to my rib cage.
I quickly rub some foundation on and brush my face with a lick of bronzer to highlight my cheekbones. After a wave of mascara over my long lashes, I admire my limited attempt at applying my own makeup. I slide on my new and slightly excessive dark Prada cat eye sunglasses and throw the long strap of my red Givenchy bag over my shoulder. I tell myself over and over that I need to relax—I’m certain that I’m not the one who has to prove trust again. Tench is the only one who has done wrong here. I was just scared … so that’s why I ran. I can convince him of that. I’m sure I can after seeing the look in his eyes.
I’ve never had someone obsess over me the way he does. It’s almost endearing.
God, did I just think that?
I hit the pavement at the front of my building with a quick pace as a taxi approaches. The cab driver flashes his lights to signal that he’s acknowledged me so I step back onto the kerb for him to pull up. I give him the address of Tench’s mansion and the driver instantly looks in the mirror at me. I stare back at him until he finds it uncomfortable and he quickly pulls away. I routinely glance behind me to see who’s following. Then figure that my every move is being watched anyway, so I’d better drop that habit now before I’m with Tench.
The taxi winds through the eastern suburbs towards Point Piper. A concoction of emotions rolls around inside me as I near Tench’s harbour-side palace.
As the cab pulls up, one of the security guards at the front gates meets us and opens the rear door.
“Miss Miranda.” He holds a twenty dollar note out in his hand for the driver. “Mr Tench is expecting you. Toni is on his way down,” he says as he closes the door behind me.
I smile and try to seem excited. I feel the eyes of all four men on me when I enter the security office, which is also the side entrance to Tench’s compound. I can see them scrutinising everything about me. I have the feeling they’re less trusting of me than the love-struck Joe Tench is, but none would dare breathe a word of doubt about me to their boss. I see Toni making his way down the curved driveway towards the office with a big beaming grin and outstretched arms.
Unlike the others, he seems delighted that I’m back. I think back to the conversation I heard Tench have with Toni about missing me and I know exactly why he’s so pleased. Tench is happy for the first time in a long time, and Toni knows I’m the only person in the world who can do that to him. I smile sweetly at Toni. Inside I’m sniggering, but on the outside I tactfully giggle. Toni wraps his arms around me and squeezes me tight. My ribs still feel the pain of Harry the giant’s efforts and I let out a whimper. Toni holds me back out.
“Sorry, Miss Miranda. You just don’t understand what it means for you to come here and do this. The boss has been so worried about you.”
I smile at Toni and rub the side of his arm. “I know, Toni, and I feel the same way about Joe. I was just scared … but I understand now. It took me a while, but I accept Joe for who he is.”
Toni’s wide face lights up like a giant ray of sunshine. This is almost too easy. I know everything about these men now and in turn, I also know what makes them tick. Stupid men! I giggle on the outside again. I follow Toni through the heavy front door and everything—the good and the bad—comes flooding back to me as I step into the foyer. The smell of the place hits me and I’m reminded of the first night I arrived and how Tench was waiting at the bar for me. That seems so long ago now. So much has happened since then.
I remind myself that the lower part of the mansion is monitored by the agency so I need to be mindful of the conversations that I have with Tench down here. A shiver rolls across my body as the thought of Nick watching me sinks in. I want to scream already. Toni stops at the French doors to the front terrace and encourages me to pass him. He winks as he closes the door behind me.
I turn my attention to the spanning terrace and see a shirtless Tench cooking on the BBQ in the pool house cabana. The spring sun emits a brilliant sheen across the harbour and the pool at the bottom of the terrace sparkles an enticing blue. Tench waves at me as if his life has been nothing but joy for the past few months and flicks his arm above his head, summoning me to go over to him.
I smile and walk with as much sex appeal as possible without looking like I’m trying too hard. Tench likes what he sees and grins so hard it looks like his face is about to explode with happiness. I remain cautious with him and greet him with a light kiss on the cheek. He moves in a little closer than anticipated and I feel his lips softly rub against the corner of mine.
The roughness of his stubble is an unexpected delight and I try not to enjoy his smell when he’s up close to me. I pull back and stare into his coffee eyes for a moment. He winks cockily at me and steps back over to the BBQ again. I slowly let out a breath.
Why do you have to be the bad guy, Joe Tench?
TWENTY-FOUR
“What a stunning day,” I say as casually as pos
sible and sit on the yellow and white striped bench behind Tench. I secretly admire him—I’m sure his shirt is off purely for my benefit. His white linen pants cup snuggly around his tight buns and fall loosely down his long legs. His mocha colour skin gleams as he bends down to open the bar fridge below him, every muscle on his back rolling as he moves.
“I couldn’t agree with you more. Everything about this day is beautiful. Beer or champagne, gorgeous?” he says.
I look at my watch. It’s only ten thirty in the morning. I look up and see him smiling sweetly back at me.
“Never heard of a champagne breakfast?” His molten Chicago accent drips sexiness.
I laugh nervously and nod. “Champagne it is then. What are you cooking? And where is Mrs Oktar?” I’m genuinely curious to know.
“She’s inside. I wanted to cook something for you this morning. All my staff know how important it is for me to have privacy with you today so we are being left well alone.” He winks.
You’re not alone though, Joe Tench, I remind myself before I return Tench’s smile and accept the glass of champagne in his hand.
Tench lifts the hood on the BBQ. “I’m just finishing the bacon. There are eggs benedict on the table, along with some French toast, fresh fruit and blueberry pancakes.” Tench flings off the white cloth covering the long table in the cabana to reveal an array of gourmet breakfast choices spread from one end of the eight-seater table to the other.
“How did you know I was coming in the morning? What if I didn’t come until this afternoon, or tonight?” I playfully tease.
“Then I would’ve kept on cooking lunch and dinner too until you arrived!” He beams.
His happiness makes me laugh. He wants to please me so badly. All this time I thought I was going to have to win back his trust when obviously it’s the other way around.
“Why don’t you take a seat and tell me all about your vacation in Italy with Charlie.”
My mind scrambles quickly. I’ve actually never been to Italy so I’m going to have to keep this very general.