by TJ Hamilton
“Only if you’ll watch me.” I know I’ve got him now.
The evil inside Tench begins to surface with his wicked grin. I see exactly what he wants. He wants me, in his dance studio. My heart begins to pound at the memory of him having his way with me in there. The nightmares that followed are etched firmly in my mind. I need to take control of that past and turn it into my advantage. I need to claim back what Tench took from me that day.
I unpack all of my clothes and hang them in the closet of my bedroom, listening to Kylie’s upbeat “Some Kind of Bliss” on the room’s built-in sound system. I relate to every word in the song and sing along to the tune.
“You know I only dreamed of having you as happy as this in my home. What’s made you change so much, Miranda?” Tench leans against the doorway.
I spin on my heels, taken by surprise. Am I too different? Damn it! Following through with this stupid act, I leap towards Tench and grip around his neck.
“Maybe my time away from you was enough for me to realise how much I wanted to be in your life. You did buy me, after all. I owe you gratitude for getting me out of the sex industry.”
“I wanted you out of Miss Stephanie’s agency for purely selfish reasons, Miranda. I don’t want anyone else to touch you, remember?”
Is he testing me? Of course I remember! He killed the last man who touched me … in front of me. My hands fall away from his neck and I start to turn. Tench grabs my wrist tight as it slips away. I stare straight into his eyes.
“Don’t walk away from me when I’m talking to you, Miranda. I don’t want you to ever walk away from me. Do you understand?” His low voice is full of viciousness.
“Loud and clear,” I say, provoking him further, and pull my wrist from his grip.
“You know you make me want to do bad things to you when you try and defy me.”
He’s like putty in my hands. An unexpected excitement pulls at me down below and I feel my nipples harden under my playsuit. “Promise?” My brow flicks.
Tench grips onto my waist and throws me over his shoulder with ease. His open palm whacks down across my ass cheek. I grin at the stinging sensation. He is just too easy.
He throws me down on his bed and pulls at my playsuit, and frowns when he realises that the whole outfit is joined together. His fist wraps around the material and he forces it off in one swift rip. My eyes light up and I bite down on my threatening smile. I tug at his t-shirt and he pulls it over his head. I look over his body as usual and smile at the alis volat propriis across his abs. The words ring so true. Does he know me better than I think?
He stands back and peels his underwear and pants off together. I wish he wasn’t so easy on the eye, but it does make this side of my job more enjoyable. From waist height, his index finger coaxes me to him. I stalk across the bed on all fours and wrap my lips softly around his hardening erection. The warmth of him inside my mouth feels comfortable. I don’t go too deep; I just roll around the tip of him. He strokes the back of my hair before he grips around my head and forces himself deep into my mouth. He takes me unexpectedly and when he hits the back of my throat so it clenches tight—I gag a little. I hear him grunt and snigger under his breath.
I slide him in and out of my mouth over and over again. He pulses inside me so I cup him underneath and prepare to drink him in. He pulls back and takes himself from my mouth. I look up at him, a little perplexed. He shakes his head and pushes me back onto the bed again. His dominance is enough to get me excited. I forgot how good this feels.
Tench grips around my ankles, pulling me to him. He throws my legs around his shoulders. His hands cup my ass and he lifts my pelvis up to his mouth and starts lapping slowly at me, his tongue slipping between my folds over and over again. His eyes slowly close as he dips his tongue inside me with ease from this angle. He is so damn good at this. Such a waste! Where he’s going, there’s going to be none of this ever again. Oh well, better let him make the most of it now with me.
I swell inside with the rising tension. Tench lets go of me just as I’m beginning to climb the stairway to bliss and I drop down onto the bed. Okay, now he is being a little bit sexy!
He rolls me onto my side and slides up behind me, pulling my leg back to drape it over him. His hand follows up my body and he pinches my hungry nipples between his thumb and finger. My head tilts back into him. I feel him rub his warm length between my legs from behind and I just want him to slam himself inside me.
“Fuck me,” I urge with a whisper.
I feel his tip find my opening and he pushes it against me until he slowly sinks inside me. I tense and pulse with excitement as he slides in and out of me. His hand drifts up to my throat. My eyes spring open. He’s moving into this dominant role easier than I anticipated.
I keep my head tilted into him. His hand gently strokes at my throat before it moves to my mouth. He places his thumb inside my mouth and I suck it. He runs it down the front of my body and presses it into my clit. I feel heat prickle everywhere and I softly moan. He rips himself from me and then pushes me over and props me up onto all fours. I’ve missed this Tench. Again, he inches into me at a snail’s pace. I can’t take it and push back onto him. He responds to my movement by pulling out of me. He clenches a fistful of my hair and snaps my head back.
“Let’s try this again.” He runs his other hand down my spine and grips onto my ass as he slowly slips inside me again.
This is torture! I just want him to fuck me as hard as he can. I don’t want this slow shit! What’s this all about? I feel the pulse throb inside me again. Tench reaches around my stomach and pushes my head into the bed as he holds my ass up. He sinks further down into me and reaches that spot that causes me to lose all my senses. My earlobes burn and I just want him as hard as I can get it so that I can come.
“Harder,” I plead.
He doesn’t pay attention to my request. He just continues slowly sliding in and out of me. I hear him groan behind me and his length jolts inside with each pulse that shoots from me. Just as I’m about to explode at any given moment, Tench viciously rips himself from me and slaps my raised ass cheek with a loud crack. It stings all the way through to my nipples.
All of a sudden, Tench is nowhere. I lift myself off the bed and look behind me to find him making his way into the bathroom. Shit! Did I just get served up my own dish? Oh, challenge accepted, Joe Tench!
FIVE
I step into the double shower with Tench and turn on the water on the opposite side. His stare pierces through me, an ambiguous smirk smeared all over his face. He shakes his head and leans back under the shower’s water, running his fingers through his hair. Cheeky fuck! I snort to myself.
“So if you want my brother to come and visit, I’m going to have to go and invite him … How about this afternoon?” I speak as naturally as possible, knowing full well that I’ll be going to the agency.
“Good. I have some work to do,” he replies as if it’s nothing.
I hope someone is monitoring him when he’s going to do some work. My body still buzzes under the sensation of the running water. I run my hands down past my breasts and I cup myself underneath. I let out a whimper the moment my fingers touch my augmented clit. I want to finish off what Tench started. I want him to want me like I do him. The water sounds quieter within the space and I hear the shower door close. I open my eyes to Tench leaving the bathroom without so much as a glance behind him. I scoff in frustration. How is it that he’s getting the better of me? I need to pull myself together. Maybe giving into him isn’t the key, after all? Maybe he likes it when I don’t give him what he wants? He’s not being as easy as I had him tagged. My mind spikes with excitement. This could be fun. But for now, I need to wash Tench off me so that I can refocus and hear the love of my life’s words for the last time. Can my life be any more twisted than this shit right now?
I take a moment to enjoy the magical sparkling harbour through the windows of the mansion as I make my way down the stairs. I will never t
ire of that spectacular view. Tench paces beside the window, talking on his phone.
“I want to arrive by Wednesday … I would prefer to stop in Beijing. Always less customs issues there,” he says. “Okay, call me when it’s sorted … At this stage there will be three of us travelling … No, one hostess is fine.”
He ends the call and sees me at the foot of the stairs and instantly smiles. I’m still reeling over his sexually frustrating antics, so his amazing smile makes standing difficult. In fact, I always want to be horizontal whenever I see Tench. He is good for that.
“You look gorgeous. What’s the occasion?”
My dead boyfriend’s will and testament is about to be read out to me, asshole. I clench my jaw through my fake smile, then look down at my high-waisted navy blue-and-white striped skirt and white sleeveless button-up blouse, and brush over it to hide my annoyance.
“I’m going to see Charlie later for dinner tonight, so don’t wait up for me.” Tench’s rough stubble rubs against my lips as I kiss him on the cheek.
“Don’t think you’re getting away that easily,” he says as he grabs my arm and rips me over to him. Swinging me around, he wraps me in his arms and kisses me deeply in a very theatrical display. I kiss him back with a frustrated, angry, bitter and generally pissed-off amount of passion. Our tongues battle for dominance. Our entire kiss becomes a battle of who can tease the other the most. But I am so many kinds of fucked up at the moment so I am far from turned on by this. I can feel Tench getting frustrated from my lack of response so I pull out of his embrace. His eyes study my face for a moment. What is he looking at?
“You have me completely bamboozled, Miranda. You do things to me that I didn’t think this cold heart was ever possible of feeling. But I probably shouldn’t have told you that because you may not come back again.” His confession sounds so genuine that I want to believe he’s good. But he’s not, not even close.
I drive the Mercedes out of Tench’s winding driveway as fast as I can, not looking in my rear-vision mirror even once. No matter how fast I drive, it still doesn’t feel like it’s quick enough.
“Park the car at the front of the QT hotel.” Liz’s voice surrounds me in the car. “A valet will take your vehicle and Simon and I will meet you at the front together … I’m Simon’s new fiancée, by the way. It looked like you had a tail when you left Tench’s, so stay in character until we can confirm that you lost the tail with your excessive speeding. We need to discuss Russia immediately.”
I smile. “Congratulations on the impending nuptials.”
A few minutes later I see Simon and Liz standing hand in hand on the kerb’s edge. They both wave as if they haven’t seen me in years. I giggle at how funny they look when they’re not their serious selves. Both of them are very similar: they have a composed happiness within them. They never truly let go. They actually really suit each other.
The smart-looking concierge helps me from my car and I run around to my brother and his new fiancée.
“Well, isn’t this the best surprise ever to have you both here in Sydney. I didn’t know you were coming, Liz.”
“I got in from London last night.” She squeezes me tight. “We’ve got so much to catch up on,” she says with an unfamiliar giddiness about her.
We all walk into the hotel together. A chill ripples over me as I step into the building. The place brings back bad memories about having to escape Tench after he shot my last client in front of me. Once we’re inside, I glare sideways at Liz.
“Nice choice to meet here, Liz! You know this place gives me the creeps,” I mutter as we walk arm in arm together.
“We have an entrance to the agency from this hotel, so deal with it, Mia,” she snaps back under her breath, and I laugh.
We step into the empty elevator and the moment the doors close, Liz presses the buttons for floors eleven, two, and then eleven again. She presses the emergency button and the elevator slowly makes its descent underground.
Liz turns to me. “Okay, we’re clear now. Are you ready to go with Tench to Russia?” She looks concerned.
“I don’t know, I was kind of hoping you’d know the answer to that one?”
Liz frowns. There’s a sudden drop in the elevator and it feels like it has reached at least five levels below the hotel. We step out and then walk through a heavily lit steel corridor together and I start to doubt my crack decision to go with Tench to Russia.
“Don’t I have a fake passport or something?”
“Yes, of course you have, ever since you first signed yourself over to the agency. What I’m talking about is if you really know what you’re getting yourself into by going over there? Who is this friend in Russia?”
“Kira,” Simon answers Liz’s question.
I nod. “Liz, I’m fine. You’re beginning to sound like him,” I say as I flick my thumb towards my brother. “And yes, Simon knows my friend. Kira Pemberton and I were in ballet school together and she left to join the Russian ballet. It’s a long story, but she’s the one who introduced me into this other world of powerful men who pay for women, and if I know my friend she’ll be my best source of information on men like Tench’s Russian cousins.”
“How much can she be trusted?” Liz doesn’t sound convinced.
“I can trust her with my life, Liz. She owes me big time.”
At the end of the long steel corridor, we get to a concrete wall that starts to swing open as we approach it. On the other side, the familiar sight of the twin giant men behind the wall of monitors in the agency’s side entrance greets us.
“Donahue, Thyme and Thyme,” the man on the left says as he eyes us individually.
Of course they know my brother. I have a feeling he works with the agency more than he makes out. I watch the elevator doors next to us and beg for Nick to come out of them like he always used to. Please just walk out, Nick.
The doors slide open. The elevator is empty … Just like my heart.
“This feels so surreal,” Liz says as we step inside. I just want this to be over so that I have some closure.
When we get to the right level, we make our way to the thick wooden doors and stand in front of them for a moment. Liz pauses as she reaches for the handle. I can see her trembling. She looks like she’s dealing with this worse than I am.
“I just keep getting flashbacks of him on the table in the morgue,” she whispers with her hand still gripped tight on the handle.
Simon puts his hand over hers. “You can do this, Liz. I’m here for you,” he says sweetly to her.
He looks across to me to check on me, but I’m okay. Those images don’t sting like they did a week ago. I’m so used to seeing them now. The last images I have of Nick are slowly becoming a memory that feels familiar more than anything else.
I put my hand on top of Simon’s and together we all press down the handle and enter the room to hear Nick’s last wishes.
SIX
The last three hours are all a bit of a blur. It was surreal, just like Liz had said. When my thoughts finally register, I find myself sitting on the edge of Nick’s bed in his apartment, watching the Harbour Bridge and Luna Park from his bedroom window. His apartment is now my apartment, as is his car. I still don’t know how I’m supposed to feel about this.
I don’t really remember how I got here from the agency, all I know is that I just had to come here as soon as the last words of Nick’s will were spoken … and here I am, sitting, staring.
I look down at my fingers and watch them stretch out into the comfort of Nick’s bed. My body feels empty, as if there’s a piece of it missing, but I can feel something here. The piece of my heart that I gave to Nick is here. I want to fill that void with the memories left in this apartment. I get up and pull the curtains across to block out the sinking sun in the distance. Undressing down to my bare skin, I slide into Nick’s bed. Every time I inhale his scent I feel like I could cry, but I don’t. I’m beyond feeling sad; this is more than that. This is numb … it’s wor
se.
I push my head into the pillow that Nick slept on a week ago and try to get closer to him again. I roll over and can really smell him this time. I inhale deep. He’s here. My nose presses against the warmth of his chest. I feel safe, and back to normal. The world no longer exists, my troubles no longer feel like they’re troubles at all. I feel Nick wrapped around me.
“I love you,” I say into the darkness of the room.
Light penetrates through my eyelids and my eyes spring open to the sunshine beyond the curtains. I roll into the centre of the bed …
He’s not here. Nick was never here. It was a dream. He’s dead. I squeeze my eyes shut and beg to go back to sleep. I want to smell him again and feel him against me … Please, I beg you! Come back to me again.
But my mind won’t allow it. He’s gone. He was never here. I have to accept that.
What is the time? I lean up to see the clock beside Nick’s bed. Seven forty-five. Tench is going to wonder where I am. But right now, I don’t care. I’m in Nick’s bed. I roll around and wrap myself up within the sheets of his bed and pray that they will just suffocate me, right here, right now.
“Mia?” I hear Charlie’s voice and sit up.
I frown as his head pops around the corner of the doorway, complete with a very pirate-esque patch over his right eye.
“Your brother gave me a key and said I should come and rescue you.” He cautiously makes his way into the room and sits on the opposite side of the bed. “He told me everything. I’m so sorry, Mi.” His voice is unusually quiet.
What does he know? I pull the sheets up to conceal my naked body from him. Charlie reaches out and touches the top of my bare arm and pouts sympathetically.
“I can’t imagine what it must feel like to lose the boyfriend you always wanted, and just after you’d dumped him to go back to your criminal ex-boyfriend.” He screws his face up.
“Are you serious right now? Do I even want to know what’s with the eye patch?” I splutter at his blunt recount. Obviously Simon didn’t tell him everything.