by Lynn Stevens
“I thought you’d left,” Sam said after finishing putting one last flute on the waiter’s tray. He leaned against the counter.
“Nah, you were busy so I cruised the dining room.” Leaning close enough to give a tiny cleavage shot, I whispered, “This party kinda sucks.”
Sam laughed. “They usually do.” He paused and glanced over my shoulder. “I go on break in a few. Want to hang outside with me?”
I tapped my chin, pretending to think about it. “Let me see, decent conversation with a good looking guy or stay inside by myself with a bunch of old fogeys. That’s a hard decision.”
“Good looking guy, huh?” Sam laughed. “I doubt anybody’s ever used those words to describe me.”
“Then they haven’t seen you lately,” I replied.
Sam stared at me for a moment before leaning close enough I could smell the sweet aftershave on his chin. “Meet me on the side of the driveway. The guests won’t see us there.”
“I’ll be there.” I turned around and caught Gracin’s gaze as he stood in the doorway. His face turned red, but he didn’t make a move toward me. Instead, he turned and strode out of the room. My father always told me to trust my gut, and my gut said Gracin was pissed about me flirting with Sam. It didn’t matter. He wasn’t anything other than my friend, and therefore, he had no say in whom I flirted with or whom I made out with. Quite frankly, I wanted to know what Sam’s lips felt like against mine, if only to forget how soft Gracin’s were. I slipped out the front door when Jeeves turned his back for a moment. Little bonus.
The hot summer air stuck to my bare arms. A breeze from the lake below rustled the trees, catching the scent of roses and lilies. Andy River had the prettiest rose garden in the county. I should know. On my escapade a few years ago, I’d hidden between the bushes as Jeeves hunted me down. There were worse places to hide.
“Carly,” Sam said from the side of the house. I strolled over to where he leaned against the garage with his hands in his pockets. He turned so his shoulder was the only thing touching the wall. “You graduated this year, right?”
“Yep.” I matched his stance. The siding cooled my hot skin. Maybe that would keep me from sweating.
“Going to school next year?” Sam inched closer.
“U of N.” I didn’t move.
He moved a little closer again. “Nashville, huh? That’s only about three hours from Memphis.”
Wait, what? Who cares how far Nashville is from Memphis? “Yeah, I guess. Why?”
He pointed to his chest. “University of Memphis.”
Ah. Maybe I’d dyed my hair too much over the years to not see where this was going.
“Not far at all.” He leaned closer, and I caught a whiff of pepper and leatherwood on the breeze. Sam smelled like Gracin.
“Carly?”
I froze at the sound of Gracin’s voice behind me. Turning away from Sam, I glanced over my shoulder. Gracin’s arms were crossed over his chest, and he was pissed.
“Yeah?” I asked with as much attitude as I could. It wasn’t like Gracin had any say in whom I kissed.
He didn’t answer.
Sam cleared his throat after a few minutes of our silent standoff. “I need to get back inside. I’ll … Yeah, I need to go.”
No “I’ll call you later” or “Give me your number” from Sam, just a quick disappearing act.
I waited until he was out of earshot when I strode up to Gracin. Jabbing my finger into his chest as hard as I could, I snapped. “You had no right to run him off.”
Gracin grabbed my hand and held it against his chest. “Seriously?”
“Yeah, seriously. You made your choice, Gracin. That doesn’t mean I stop living my life. That doesn’t mean I can’t see someone else just because you don’t want me. You can’t tell me not to go out with other people. You have no right to do that!”
Gracin bent his head down so we were eye to eye. “You think he wanted more than a quick roll in the hay, Carly? You really want to be used, go ahead. Don’t let me stop you.”
He let go of my hand, and I used it to slap him. The tears I’d hidden from him rolled down my cheeks faster than the flooded Mississippi. “Fuck you, Gracin. You don’t want me, but nobody else can have me. Is that the deal?”
“We’re leaving. Now.” Gracin turned his back on me.
I followed him, because it was either that or call a cab. Quite frankly, the cabs in Branson usually smelled of vomit this late at night. And I wanted answers. This time I was going to get them.
∞ ∞ ∞
The ride back to his cabin was worse than the ride to Andy River’s house. Gracin gripped the steering wheel hard enough veins popped on the back of his hands. I tapped my foot against the floor, wishing like hell I had called the cab. The more I relived his interruption, the angrier I got. By the time he parked by my scooter, my temper was ready to blow.
Gracin didn’t say a word as he climbed out of the truck and slammed the door behind him. He never slammed his door. The truck was his baby. He stalked to the door of his cabin and flashed the keycard, leaving the door open as he went inside. I took it as an invitation to finish our yelling match. Fuck the silent battles we kept having, this one was going to be epic.
I threw the door closed behind me, rattling the windows. Gracin paced the hallway between the living room and his bedroom.
“Why does it matter?” I asked, remaining calm despite my desire to scream at him from the top of my lungs. “Why do you care if something happened between me and Sam? You made your feelings clear, Gracin. So explain it to me, because I can’t figure it out.”
He stopped and stared at me like I’d just won the stupidest person in the world contest.
“That’s not an answer. Just tell me what’s so repulsive about me?” Damn it. I started crying again. “Is it because I’m not like the models you’ve dated? Or I’m not smart enough? Or because … because of what Derrick did? Is that it? Because Derrick raped me, I’m not good enough for you.”
Gracin’s eyes widened and he closed the distance between us. “This has nothing to do with Derrick, Carly.” His hands shook as he put them on my shoulders. A slow heat rolled from his touch down to my toes. “You’re beautiful, smart, funny, and everything a guy could want in a girl.”
“Just not you,” I whispered.
He leaned down, resting his forehead against mine so I couldn’t see his face. “It’s not that I don’t want you, Carly. Please don’t think that. I do … More than I should, but … you’ll be gone soon. I won’t do the long-distance thing again. I can’t.”
“Again?” Hope swelled in my chest. He did want me. Maybe this could work after all.
He backed away and leaned against the small kitchen table, shoving his hands into his pockets. His head dropped for a moment before he lifted it to meet my stare. “You read my story. My girlfriend moved to New York a few months after we started dating, and I spent most of my time in L.A.” He shook his head as the memories overtook him. “She ended it by getting photographed with some director in a more than friendly embrace. I … I lost it and ended up having my well-publicized breakdown. Mom took me to rehab. I was washed-up, a has-been before I turned eighteen.” He met my eyes, tears rimming his. “She destroyed me, and I didn’t feel a third for her what I feel for you, Carly.”
Everything I wanted was within reach, but it wasn’t either. We’d been doing this dance all summer. I’d known it when I’d kissed him the first time, but he kept ignoring it. I wasn’t going to let him anymore. “These feelings aren’t going to disappear.” I stepped closer to him. “So what’re we going to do?”
“I don’t know,” he whispered.
I took another step toward him, stopping as our knees touched. “Gracin, what do you really want?” Reaching out, I put my hand on his thigh. “Do you want to be happy for the rest of the summer? Or do you want to pretend there isn’t anything between us and forget this ever happened?”
Gracin swallowed, not taking
his eyes off of mine. “Forget what ever happened?”
I bent my head and leaned toward him slowly, waiting for him to stop me, but he didn’t. My lips brushed over his. I broke the chaste kiss, still expecting him to push me away. Gracin leaned forward, letting his lips touch mine in the same way. Every nerve in my body reached out to him, needing more than tiny kisses. His hands found my waist and pulled me against him. When Gracin kissed me again, it was unrestrained. Thank God he supported me against him, because my legs turned to molasses. I wrapped my arms around his neck, digging my fingers into his hair.
Gracin pulled away, resting his forehead against mine again. “What happens when you leave, Carly? When I leave?”
I leaned back, smiling sadly because I didn’t want to think about either one of us leaving. I just wanted to let myself be with someone I cared about. I wanted to let him love me, even if it wasn’t love but very strong like. I’d never felt like this before, and I wanted to revel in it. I wanted to live in the moment. “I don’t know, Gracin. No matter what happens. No regrets.”
Gracin nodded and pulled me against him. “Never.”
I fell into his kisses as my hands took on a life of their own. They moved up his arms and slid beneath his jackets, shoving it off his shoulders. Gracin’s lips never left mine as he let me undress him. My fingers worked each button on his shirt until that was gone too. His fingers found the zipper of my dress, but he didn’t unzip it.
“Yes,” I whispered my permission against his lips.
The zipper came down, followed shortly by the dress. Gracin tightened his arms around my waist, lifting me off the floor. I wrapped my legs around him as he carried me to the bedroom, closing the door behind him.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
I knocked on Gracin’s door at six the next morning. It’d only been four hours since I left the cabin. I could still feel his lips, his silky skin against mine.
Gracin opened the door, in his boxers from the night before. I smiled, shyness sweeping over me. Normally, I was bold and brutally honest. With Gracin, it was different.
“Good morning, sunshine,” I said through a slight strain in my voice. “We running this morning?”
Gracin’s sly grin filled his face. “Kind of ran a marathon last night.” He stepped back from the door to let me in. “Best marathon of my life.”
My knees wobbled as I tried to walk with confidence into his cabin. “The best, huh?”
The door closed with a quiet click and Gracin pressed his body against my back. His arms snaked around my waist as his lips found that spot just beneath my ear. I leaned into him, wrapping my arm around his neck.
“Oh, yeah. I’m not sure it’s over either.” His fingers grazed the bare skin on my stomach. Holy hell, this was not what I’d expected this morning. “If you’re up for it.”
I was up for it, but I wanted to make him work this time. “After our run”—I turned around and captured his lips with mine—“maybe we can hit the showers.”
Gracin moaned against my mouth. My entire body turned into a boneless pile of goo. Maybe running wasn’t a good idea.
“Deal,” he said and kissed me again.
He let me go, and I sunk into the couch. My legs finally regained some form of muscle mass when he came back in his usual running attire. That outfit made me have more doubts about running.
We stretched without pawing at one another and started our run in silence. It wasn’t the uncomfortable quiet we’d experienced in the last week, but the peaceful kind we’d had before the first kiss. Gracin set a slow pace, and we made it a mile before the inevitable conversation began. We needed to talk before anything else happened. The fact we would both leave at the end of summer still hung between us. I didn’t want it to spoil what time we had together.
“We should probably lay all our cards on the table,” I said as our breaths hit the same rhythm.
Gracin tensed beside me, almost stumbling on a crack in the sidewalk. “Go ahead.”
“You already said you can’t and won’t do a long-distance relationship.” I hated saying this, but it had to be out there. We needed to agree this relationship had a time limit, even if that’s not what I wanted. It was all Gracin could give me. The sooner he knew I accepted the situation the better. “So, we agree we are just for this summer. When I leave for school, we …” I gulped the lump forming in my throat. “We agree to mutually stop. No phone calls. No texts. No emails. No contact. We go our separate ways.”
Gracin stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. I made it three steps before realizing he wasn’t beside me. I turned around to the eyebrow battle.
“You said … I don’t want to walk away from us with any regrets or hard feelings,” I said as I cautiously walked back to him. “Let’s make the most of what time we have together without ruining it for something we both know we can’t have.”
“You mean that?” His shoulders fell. “We don’t try if we want to?”
“You said you couldn’t, so I think this is what’s best.” I lied through my teeth. It left a welling of bile in my stomach. “Don’t you agree?”
Gracin shifted from foot to foot before looking me in the eye. “If that’s what you want.”
I rose onto my tiptoes and planted a quick kiss on his dry lips. “We’ve got plenty of time to make a whole assload of memories.” Ones I will cherish.
Slowly he nodded in agreement. “Okay.”
I should’ve been elated, but my heart sunk to my heels. We started running again, not bringing up anything other than work until we got back to his cabin. The cool air from the vents made me shiver as soon as I stepped inside. Gracin let the door close with a thud. He stood in front of me with a slight scowl.
He wasn’t going to push me away after last night or because of our conversation. I moved toward him, sliding my arms around his waist. Gracin’s hands moved to my hips as he rested his forehead against mine. God, I loved that. It was intimate and loving at the same time. I shook the word “loving” out of my head. It was one emotion neither one of us could afford.
I bent my neck and seized his lips. Gracin kissed me with a slow, burning passion. It was ten times more intense than anything last night. I melted against him, forgetting everything we’d talked about to just experience being with Gracin Ford. We needed to leave emotion out of it, but it was too late for me. I already cared for him more than I should. He didn’t need to know that, though. I had to keep myself in check so I didn’t slip farther into the danger zone. He’d already had his heart broken once, no reason for me to be the one to do it again.
∞ ∞ ∞
Bliss, that was the only word to describe the next several days. June was coming to an end, which meant Gracin and I had about eight more weeks together. I planned on making each day the best it could possibly be. Wednesday after the concert, I held out a pair of tickets to the final showing of the latest action movie. Guns and explosions sounded like a great prequel to the fireworks that would happen afterwards.
“A movie?” Gracin eyed the tickets in my hand. “You sure you want to be seen with me in public?”
I threw my head back and laughed. “You sure you want to be seen with me? I’m the bad girl here.”
Gracin slid his hand around my waist and pressed his body against mine. “So bad, you’re good.”
I actually giggled before kissing his nose. “You know it, baby. Now get your ass in gear so we don’t miss the previews.”
The door to Gracin’s dressing room opened without warning. We jumped away from each other before the culprit could catch us. We hadn’t come right out and said we needed to keep our relationship secret, but it seemed logical. First of all, it wasn’t anyone’s business. Second, I didn’t want to be part of unwanted gossip, even if I’d experienced it most of my life. Thirdly, when this ended, I didn’t want to be the pity of everyone.
“Nice show tonight, son,” Albert Ford said as he stepped into the room. He glanced between us before settling his glare on me. “
Hello, Miss Reynolds. I didn’t realize you’d still be here this late.”
I’d had the foresight to shove the tickets into my back pocket when I realized who was interrupting us. “I’m always here this late, Mr. Ford. Gracin and I usually spend some time planning for the next day after each show. I like to stay on top of things.”
“I’m sure you do,” he said, narrowing his eyes. “If you’ll excuse us for a moment, I need to have a word with my son. Whatever you need to discuss with him can wait until tomorrow. Goodnight, Miss Reynolds.”
I stared at him, trying to comprehend the ease at which he dismissed me. I didn’t like it and wasn’t going to keep my mouth shut until Gracin cleared his throat. I tore my gaze off Albert and met Gracin’s.
“I’ll see you later, Carly.” The defeat in his voice tore through my heart. Gracin wouldn’t look at me as I stood there completely dumfounded.
I wanted to rush up to Albert and kick him in the shin. I wanted to pull out the rest of his comb-over. Instead, I walked out the door, slamming it behind me.
Then I leaned my ear against it so I wouldn’t miss a single word between them.
“What do you want, Dad?”
“You’re not sleeping with her, are you?” Disgust laced through Albert’s words.
“Jesus, Dad. That’s none of your business.” I heard the chair move and imagined Gracin collapsing into it.
“She’s a fucking redneck. You’ve been with runway models.” Something tapped against the door. “But I’m sure she’s a good enough distraction while you’re here. Anyway, I didn’t show up to talk about your sex life. I heard from your old bandmate Jay Edison. He’s trying to get Accentuate together for a reunion tour. Naturally, I told him you’re in.”
“I don’t want to –”
“Grow some balls, son. Just because things didn’t end well doesn’t mean you can’t suck it up and go on tour. Think of the money. Plus you wouldn’t have to come back to this hellhole again.” Something slapped against something else. “This is a good thing.”