by Lynn Stevens
“What’s going on?” Dad asked. He stared at his watch. Less than five minutes before showtime. “Make it quick, or we’ll have to announce a delayed start tonight.” He glanced between us and Albert. “None of us wants that.”
“Albert Ford wants us to sign an NDA, Dad. I told him where to shove it.” I reached around to Gracin’s fingers and clutched them. It was time to throw out the biggest lie of my life. I hated it, but it was the only way to protect all of us from whatever Albert had in mind. “He thinks he’s uncovered something you weren’t aware of and is threatening to damage your reputation and the theater’s.”
“Uncovered what?” Dad asked with a hint of incredulity.
“Your daughter and my son seem to have entered into a … relationship.” Albert’s voice dripped with controlled malice.
Dad stared at him like he’s forgotten to gas up the lawnmower. “And?”
That one little word knocked Albert off his perch. He took a physical step back from all of us.
Luke shoved his hands into his pockets and shrugged. “Guess Mr. Ford was the last to know, Dad.”
Dad nodded slowly to Luke. He wouldn’t look at me. “I see.” He turned toward Albert completely, his back to me and Gracin. “I’ve been aware of this for some time, as has my son. I don’t know why Gracin and Carly chose to leave you in the dark about their relationship, but that was their decision to make. Now, if I understand correctly, you want her to sign a non-disclosure agreement. Correct?”
Albert stared back at Dad and nodded once.
Over his shoulder, Dad asked, “Carly, do you promise not to write a tell-all book, go on any tabloid shows or to any tabloid newspapers or legitimate newspapers or online news sources about your relationship with Gracin?”
“Yes.” I let out a long breath. Dad came through. I had hoped he would, but after everything … I just wasn’t sure he’d back me up. Still, he wouldn’t look at me. He was furious at the way he found out, but the truth was he never would’ve discovered my relationship if there’d been a choice. Why tell him something that would upset him? It wasn’t worth the pain.
“There you have it, Albert. Now, if you don’t mind, the show will be starting late enough as it is and I’m sure Gracin needs to finish getting ready.” Dad moved toward Albert and put his arm around the man’s shoulders, ushering him out of the door.
Luke let out a long breath and turned toward us. “Well, I’m glad that’s out in the open. Carly, good luck with Dad.” He shook his head and headed toward the door. “You’re gonna need it.”
I closed my eyes, squeezing them tight and gritting my teeth against the outside forces ruining the little bit of happiness in my life. This wasn’t happening. I mean, it had happened, but I wanted to turn back the clock and make it not happen. If I’d only used my brain, I never would’ve let myself get caught in such a compromising position.
“Are you okay?” Gracin asked. He hadn’t moved since everyone left. Neither had I.
“I don’t know,” I whispered. My shoulders fell, and exhaustion took root in every inch of my body. “I just don’t know anything anymore.”
Gracin spun me around so fast that the crutch holding me up fell to the floor with a bang. He grabbed my shoulders and pressed his forehead to mine. I inhaled his musky sent.
“No regrets, Carly.” His breath danced along my lips.
I didn’t respond right away, and he squeezed my shoulders. Did I have regrets? Yes and no, but we’d made an agreement before my emotions had gotten involved to muck everything up. “No regrets,” I whispered.
He relaxed against me as a knock sounded on the door. We moved away from each other. My phone vibrated in my pocket. The text was a request for my presence as soon as possible. I’d have to handle this situation no matter how much I wanted to put it off until the next day or, even better, until after I left for Nashville. There was one thing for me to do.
Miranda came in, and we went to work getting Gracin ready for the show. He kissed my forehead and left for the stage. There wasn’t any reason to keep our relationship quiet anymore.
“Miranda, you’re on your own tonight.” My face showed no emotion, or at least, I tried to keep it blank. “Can you handle Gracin?”
My little sister scoffed and rolled her eyes. “Can you handle Dad?”
The wave of sadness I’d held back broke the damn of calm. Of all the people in this world, Miranda was the one who always broke through to me. “I’m going to lose him, Meerkat.”
She pulled me in for a quick hug. “Just tell Dad the truth, Carly. The real truth, and not the half-truth crap you’ve pulled over the years. Tell him how you really feel about Gracin.”
I nodded, but how could I? I couldn’t even tell Gracin.
Miranda kissed my cheek and ran out the door. She might as well get used to doing this on her own. My gut warned me I would be out of a job after tonight.
∞ ∞ ∞
He was on the phone when I entered his office on my crutches. Dad glanced up at me, and his anger rolled off him like a tsunami. I deserved it. Over the last few weeks, I’d done everything to keep him out of my life. But when I needed him, he was there for me. Whatever happened, it was of my own making. He hung up the phone.
“Sit.”
I took the chair on the left. Most people moved to the right automatically, but I decided long ago to do the things people didn’t expect me to do. Childish? Maybe, but I wasn’t one to bow before convention. Even when I probably should’ve, like now.
“First, you’re going to tell me what really happened with your ankle and not that story about falling down Ivy’s stairs.” He leaned forward, resting his elbows on the desk and lacing his fingers together. His jaw clenched, grinding his teeth. This was a man I didn’t want to cross. Ever.
“I hurt it about a month ago on the lake. Then I kicked Derrick with the same foot. Three days ago, I landed wrong during a base jump off Thompson Bridge.” I kept the emotion out of my voice, but I wanted him to forgive me so much I had no doubt he could see it in my eyes. If he’d only look there.
He closed his eyes and took a long breath. “How long have you been base jumping?”
“Couple of years.”
“Don’t you need parental permission to do something like that?” He kept his eyes closed.
“Mom signed it.”
His eyes snapped open then. “Did she know what she was signing?”
I almost smiled at my cleverness but managed to keep myself in check. “It was research for biology. I wrote a paper about the effects of –”
“Enough.” His lips pursed together, disappearing against themselves. “You conned your mother into signing a form and used school as an excuse. Admit it.”
I crossed my arms over my stomach. It didn’t help calm the rolling tide. “It’s not like I didn’t do –”
“Just admit it!” Dad screamed as he slammed his fists into the desk. He leaned back, shocked by his own outburst, but not deterred by it. “For years, I have listened to your half-truths and outright lies. I’m tired of it, Carly. It’s time for you to grow up. This shit won’t fly in the real world.”
I stared at the scuffed hardwood floor, unable to face him. The theater’s main office wasn’t big, but it was bigger than Luke’s makeshift one behind the stage. There was just enough room for Dad’s desk, a filing cabinet, and the two uncomfortable chairs in front of the desk. Dad kept most of the paperwork at home and transported it between his home office, the theater’s office, and the resort’s office. He liked having everything with him all the time. His tablet rarely left his hand, even when he wasn’t supposed to be working.
I opened my mouth, but the words wouldn’t come out.
“How long have you been seeing Gracin?” His words were tight.
“A while.” I closed my eyes for a moment to clear my head. Then I opened them to meet his gaze. “It’s not what –”
“It’s not what? What I think? Isn’t that your go-to line, Car
ly? You do something I don’t like. You tell me it’s not what I think and come up with a carefully constructed story to pacify me. That’s how you work, isn’t it? Well, that’s not good enough. I want the truth, so don’t try to bullshit me. I will know.”
I sat up in my chair, determination taking over. This was a war between us. He didn’t trust me, and I wanted him to more than anything in this moment. He needed to know I wasn’t a liar. “I’m not going to bullshit you, Dad.”
“Good. Now, how long have you been seeing Gracin?”
“We started seeing each other after he was invited to Andy River’s cocktail party.” I took a deep breath. “We … we tried not to get involved, but …”
Dad held up his hand. “I don’t need details.”
“It’s really not what you think, Dad.”
I’d never seen my father roll his eyes before, but he did now. “What exactly do I think, Carly?”
I stretched my shoulders while I debated how to say it. Finally, I realized the truth was going to hurt me as much as him, but it was all he wanted from me. So that’s what he was going to get. As delicately as possible.
“Well?” he prodded.
“You think I’m doing him ‘favors.’” I air quoted the word. “You think I’m taking your directive to give him anything he wants literally. You think I’m sleeping with him to make sure he’s happy so it’ll be good for business. Basically, you think I’m a hooker.”
His eyes grew wider while I detailed his opinion. Well, my version of his opinion anyway.
“But that’s not what’s going on.” I swallowed hard and said the one thing I’d never admitted to anyone out loud. Tears welled in my eyes, and the pain of losing Gracin too soon froze my limbs. “I’m in love with him, Daddy. And he doesn’t even know it, because we agreed this thing between us would only last until I left for school. So I can’t tell him. He doesn’t want a long-distance relationship, and I didn’t want to not be with him. When August twenty-seventh rolls around, I’ll lose him.” A small sob escaped, but I held myself together for a little longer. “I’ll lose him, and it was all my idea.”
We stared at each other until my phone buzzed in my pocket. I didn’t want to break eye contact with Dad, but Miranda might’ve needed me. I pulled it from my pocket.
I’m sorry. ~ G
That sent me over the edge. Gracin blamed himself for this mess, when it was all my fault. I’d pushed him to get involved with me. I’d set the deadline. And then I’d fallen in love with him despite my best efforts not to. The fault was mine and mine alone.
“Carly, look at me,” Dad said softly.
I did as he asked. Dad cocked his head and stared at me, the tension draining the longer we sat there. He didn’t say anything for a while.
“This has been going on that long, huh?” he asked.
I nodded. Honestly, I couldn’t form a coherent sentence at the moment.
“Then I don’t see why you can’t keep doing your job.” He scratched his eyebrows. “I’ll handle Gracin’s father.”
Time must’ve stopped or something, because there was no way Dad had just said that.
“As for your relationship, continue to keep it quiet, and don’t lie to me about it anymore. There’s no need to flaunt it around town. That’s damage control I don’t need to deal with, understood?” Dad reached for his tablet and started flipping through the screen.
“Yes.” I stood, wobbly for reasons other than my crutches, and moved toward the door.
Before I opened it, he cleared his throat. I turned around and met his gaze. This was the most eye contact we’d had since before I hit puberty.
“I expect you to keep up this honesty thing. It suits you.” A small smile blessed his features for less than ten seconds. I relished every second.
“I will, Dad.”
He may not have realized it or even have believed me, but I meant it. He wanted the truth. He was going to get it, even if he didn’t like it.
I stopped at the doors to the theater and peeked inside. Gracin’s performance didn’t miss a beat, but he wasn’t bouncing around the stage as much. I slipped inside, leaning against the wall, and listened to the rest of the show until he was ready for the encores. His upbeat songs sounded more like fast power ballads, and his ballads resonated to my soul. I wished these people who had paid good money to hear him could actually hear the real Gracin without all the shitty electronics.
My progress to the dressing room was slow, but I made it there before the final encore. I sat in his chair, exhausted from the evening’s events and from crutching all over the theater. I closed my eyes while I waited.
The door opened. Gracin pulled me into his arms and buried his face in my hair.
“I’m so sorry, Carly.” He kissed my hair and squeezed me so tight I could barely breathe. “Please tell me you’re not here to say goodbye.”
“I’m not here to say goodbye, Gracin.”
He loosened his grip and leaned back to meet my stare. “Seriously?”
“Seriously. I’m here to make sure Miranda doesn’t take my job. I kinda like the guy I work with.”
He tightened his grip and lifted me off my feet. “Thank God.”
“No, thank my father.” I kissed his nose as he laughed. “Now we need to talk about your show. It’s time you do something new.”
The joy seeped from him, and his entire body tensed. I slid out of his arms as his grip loosened and stared into his eyes, but they hid everything. Suddenly I was faced with the mask Gracin often wore and not the man I’d fallen for.
“I’m not changing the show just because you don’t like the music, Carly.” He stepped around me and headed toward his wardrobe. “There’s no reason. It’s a success.”
“But it’s not you.” I hobbled over to him and put my hands on his bare shoulders. “If you would let them hear the real –”
He turned around and glared at me. “The real me? Who is that anyway? Something you’ve conjured in your mind because who I am isn’t good enough for you.”
It was my turn to step away from him.
He followed me. “You’ve got it in your head that who I am out onstage isn’t me at all. Guess what, Carly? That’s all I am. It’s all I’ve been for six damn years, and you’re not going to change that. You can’t anymore than I can.”
I stared at him, completely dumbfounded. “Is that what you really believe? That I want to change you into someone else?”
“It’s the truth, isn’t it?” he snapped.
I’d cried enough when I had told my father about my relationship, so there weren’t any tears left for this moment. And this moment demanded for them. He was calling me out for something I hadn’t done. Yeah, I wanted the world to see the real Gracin Ford, but he didn’t. Even if I’d never taken that into consideration, he didn’t have to treat me like this. Like he hated me. Like he never wanted to see me in the same room again.
“No, it’s not, because you’re so much more than you realize.” I was wrong; apparently, there were enough tears left for me to shed. Each word accompanied a sob, but Gracin didn’t flinch at any of it. Maybe I’d imagined how he really felt, because the guy who cared about me wouldn’t stare like I was a poison dart and he was the target. “But if you don’t want to be anything more than that guy onstage, I won’t … I won’t stand in your way.” My chest broke open, but I had to tell him the truth. “And I can’t … I can’t stand with you, either.”
He glared at me, breathing heavy, but not saying anything to make me stay.
“So, I guess you were right.” I reached for my crutches and hobbled toward the door. Without turning around because I couldn’t look him in the eye, I choked out the words I’d been dreading for weeks: “This is goodbye.”
CHAPTER TWENTY
For once in my life, I followed directions given by an adult. I stayed off my ankle for the next week and stayed away from the theater. Miranda managed fine without me. When I was ready to get back into the game t
he last few days of July, I knocked on Miranda’s door.
“Come in,” Miranda shouted over the music blaring in her room. Unlike me, my sister loved everything. Music was background noise for her, but for me it was the soundtrack to my life.
I opened the door. Miranda glanced up from the fashion magazine and glared at me. I yanked my eyes away from her and took in how much her room had changed. The walls were still the same pink from her princess era five years ago, but instead of tiaras and staffs, she had cowboy hats and posters of half-naked men tacked to her wall. Sometime in the not-so-distant past, my little sister had gone country.
“What?” she snapped, drawing my gaze off a shirtless cowboy with lickable abs and back to her. She didn’t even give me a chance to answer. Throwing her legs over the side of her bed, she stood up and jammed her finger in my direction. “You suck, you know that.”
Did everyone in my life have to verbally smack me these days?
“Just because you and Gracin had a fight doesn’t mean you just tell him it’s over!” She stalked toward me, her finger finding my solar plexus and tapping out a beat to her words. “God, Mom and Dad fight all the time and they’re still happy. Why’d you do that to him? He’s miserable, and judging by your clothes, so are you.”
I glanced down at my running shorts and stained tee. So, I wasn’t dressed to go clubbing, big deal. “Then why hasn’t he called me?” I whispered.
“You’re the one who dumped him.” Miranda tilted her head. “Right?”
I collapsed on her bed and curled into a ball. “You weren’t there. He acted like I was the worst person in the world. What was I supposed to do? Forgive him?”
Miranda sat beside me. “Yep. He’s a guy. By design they’re egomaniacs and you slapped him in the ego pretty hard from what I heard.”
“He talked about me? To you?” I sat up, pulling my legs against my chest and resting my chin on my knees.
Miranda mirrored my pose. “Yeah, he’s pretty miserable, Carly. He needed to talk to someone, and you’re his best friend. When you left, he kinda lost everything in a way.”