by Omar Tyree
Patti flung her door open. “Get on up, Tracy. You think you gonna lay up in bed all day? You got work to do. And you can start by hanging up all these clothes and mess, all over this damn room.”
Her mother walked back out, leaving the door open, and Tracy continued to lay there, uninspired.
Jason yelled, “Mommy, she not gettin’ up!” He walked over to the bed and sat on Tracy’s leg. He wore a bright red, green and blue Oshkosh outfit, and he had a new haircut.
Tracy responded, shaking him from her leg, “Get off of me, boy!”
Jason laughed, attempting to sit on her again.
“Stop playin’, Jason,” she warned.
“NO! Mommy told you to get up.”
“See, you gon’ make me hurt you,” Tracy said, leaning up to grab him.
Jason jumped up and ran out of her room giggling.
Tracy decided to get up and take a shower before she did her house chores. Once she was halfway finished cleaning up the house, the doorbell rang.
“TRA-CY, it’s Raheema!” Patti yelled up the steps to her.
Tracy ran down the steps and spotted a huge smile on her next-door neighbor’s face. “What are you so happy about?”
“What, I can’t just be in a good mood?”
“Well, are you?”
“Yeah, because my father is goin’ away for a week on a job trip.”
Tracy grinned. “My father comes back and now your father is leaving for a week,” she commented.
Raheema smiled back at her. “I know, right?”
Tracy was suspicious. “A job trip for a week, hunh?” she asked, contemplating the idea. “Sounds like your father is having an affair somewhere, to me,” she wildly assumed.
“Well, I don’t care if he is. Shucks! As long as he’s not in my face for a week, the more power to him.”
“But what about your mother?”
Raheema shrugged and said, “She’s tired of him too.”
“And that’s why you all happy t’day?”
“Yeah, because things are more peaceful when it’s just me and my mother. We’re like girlfriends when he’s not around. I can talk to her,” she said with a smile. “But you know, you can’t tell your mother everything.”
“Yeah, I know,” Tracy said, returning the smile. “Our mothers didn’t tell their mother’s everything either.”
Raheema responded, “Yeah, but I bet you’re glad that your dad is back. He’s cool.”
Tracy nodded. “Yeah. At first I thought he was gonna come back and start telling me what to do all the time, but he’s been all right.”
Raheema took off her jacket as they had a seat on the couch. She then asked, “You know what, Tracy? I wonder what makes one man cool and another man evil.”
Tracy hunched her shoulders. “I would say the environment that they grew up in.”
“So you think my father grew up in a rough environment?”
“Oh, I mean family environment.”
“Yeah, that’s what I mean too.”
“Oh. Well, yeah. I bet your grandfather was meeean.”
Raheema laughed and said, “I know. He probably was. I’ve never even met the man.”
Tracy looked at her, surprised. “You never met your grandfather?”
“Nope. And I don’t want to either.”
“Dag, that’s messed up.”
“Well, how often do you go to visit your cousins, Tracy?”
Tracy answered, chuckling, “Never.”
Raheema laughed and said, “See. So you can’t talk about me then?”
Jason ran in to have a seat next to them on the couch, while Patti busied herself in her room. Dave had gone in to work earlier; he expected to be getting off soon.
Raheema stretched her arms and looked over at Jason, who was eying an afternoon horror movie on TV. “Dag, he’s getting cuter everyday,” she said.
“Yup, and he got all the girls in his school giving him candy and stuff,” Tracy responded, smiling at him.
“Shet up, Tra-cy,” Jason retorted, hearing them talking about him.
“Tell Ra-Ra your girlfriend’s name.”
“No, because I don’t like girls. They always want me to play with them.”
Both girls laughed as Raheema got up and headed for the door. “Well, I’ll see you later, because my mom and I are going shopping,” she announced to Tracy.
“All right then,” Tracy said, getting up to shut the door.
“You a dummy, Tracy!” Jason hollered, facing her.
“Why you say that, boy?”
“ ’Cause, you always tellin’ girls about me.”
Tracy smiled. “So? They all like you,” she responded to him.
Jason huffed, “ ’Dat’s why I hate ’chew, Tracy.”
Tracy was stunned. She bent over to face him for a response. “You hate me for real?”
Jason crossed his arms and mumbled, “Mmm hmm.”
“Aw, that’s a shame, Jason.” Tracy felt hurt. She stood up, thinking to herself how badly she treated him.
Jason then smiled and looked up to face her. “Sike. I don’t hate you.”
Tracy then sucked her teeth and picked him up to hug him. “Boy, you gon’ break a lot of hearts like that,” she said, carrying Jason into the kitchen as he laughed. “You want something to drink?” she asked, noticing for herself how cute he was.
Jason said, while bouncing, “Yeah, and some cookies, too.”
Tracy called Carl, feeling totally at ease with it. She liked their conversations.
“Hello, can I speak to Carl?”
“Yes, speaking.”
“It’s Tracy.”
“Hey gorgeous. Did you take those earrings off?”
Tracy smiled and said, “I don’t wear them every day.”
“Well, anyway, what are you doing this evening?”
“Nothing at all.”
“Okay, well, since you’ve called me now, what’s your phone number?” he asked her.
Tracy gave it to him. “So are you gonna try to go to the pros?” she asked, referring to football.
Carl leveled with her and said, “I doubt it. See, most athletes dream the impossible, but at the same time, it’s good to be realistic.”
Tracy contested, “Well, like they say, ‘If you think you can, you can.’ But if you think you can’t, then you can’t. Or at least that’s how I feel about it.”
“Yeah, well, that doesn’t work too well when you have college politics involved. They can make you or break you up here. And players at black schools don’t get nearly enough national exposure as they do at white schools.”
“Why didn’t you go to a white school then?”
“My parents wanted me to learn something about my people. Plus, I’ve been in white schools all of my life.”
His response made Tracy think about race and college. “Yeah, my father told me how hard it was for him to graduate from college in the seventies. He said he nearly hated white people. But he said he had to learn how to get along with them eventually.”
“I know. I’ve already gone through that phase. I had to beat a few white boys down in high school. Most of them were afraid of me though.”
“Did you play high-school football?”
“Yup, for all four years.”
“You got older brothers and sisters?”
“Nope.”
“Am I asking you too many questions?”
“No, but I’ll let you know,” Carl said with a chuckle.
“So you get a lot of homework in college?”
“Yeah, but if you keep to a tight schedule, you can do it. You know what though, Tracy?”
“What?” she quizzed, excitedly.
“No, forget it,” he said, toying with her curiosity.
“What? Tell me.”
“No. It’s not that important.”
“Yes it is. Tell me. Please, Carl.”
“Well, I just wanted to tell you that you have some very attractive
eyes. They remind me of my grandmother’s. And I used to sit on her lap as a kid and listen to her while she told me stories. That’s all.”
Tracy beamed. “Oh, you so sweet, Carl.”
“Yeah, I just thought I’d tell you that,” he responded confidently, believing that the story was romantic.
“Well, thank you,” Tracy told him.
Carl smiled and said, “So Tracy, when are we gonna go out and get some ice cream?”
“How you know I like ice cream?”
“I didn’t know. But I like ice cream though.”
Things were rolling along too smoothly. Tracy needed to know that it was real. She challenged him and said, “You know what, Carl? I don’t believe a word you say anymore. I bet you just like my girlfriends said guys in college are. And you’re just trying to get some young ass.”
“What!” Carl snapped at her. He then calmed himself and told her what he was about. “Girl, do you know that I could do more to you with words, without ever having to touch you. Just being with a gorgeous black woman makes me happy. But you don’t know me yet, so why would you pass judgments on the things that I say to you? Let me tell you something, Tracy. You have a lot of potential, but you have to stop that kid stuff if you want to be with me. So you call me back when you’re a little more mature.”
“Why are you hanging up?” she asked. She was curious to see what else he had to say.
“Because I have some work to finish up,” Carl told her. “But I don’t want to end this conversation on a bad note, Tracy, so I just want you to know that I like you. Okay? I like you a lot.”
Tracy smiled. “Okay.” She thought about telling Carl that she liked him as well, but she decided not to. She would tell him at another time, and possibly she would show him that she liked him. His muscular body was too tempting for her to ignore. And I’m not a virgin anymore, so what’s the difference if you really like a guy? she asked herself. Yet she had not made up her mind on the matter.
One college weekend had helped distort Tracy’s already negative attitude about high school. High-school classes that week were more boring than the last, and Tracy was beginning to look past her Germantown High days.
“Ay, what’s up, Tracy?” a mere high-school boy asked at her locker.
“Hi, John,” Tracy greeted him.
“Umm, does Jantel have a boyfriend?” John asked. He seemed very timid about it, as if he was afraid to ask.
“No, but she needs one. Bad,” Tracy told him with a grin.
“For real? Why do you say that?”
“Because, she’s jealous of these freshman girls,” Tracy informed him. She felt that she was too mature to be jealous of new meat.
John asked, walking alongside her, “Do you think that I can get with her?” He was well aware that Jantel was a city-wide track sensation.
Tracy readjusted her earring, which was tangled inside her hair. “It’s worth a try. She’s free,” she told him.
“Well, tell her that I want to talk to her.”
Tracy frowned at the idea. “Look, John, if you really want to talk to her like you say you do, then go tell her. And if she turns you down, just stay on her back until she gives in.”
“You really think that’ll work?”
“Well, if it don’t, then at least you know that you didn’t go to lunch on your opportunity.”
“Dig, that’s right. Thanks a lot, ‘Tray,’ ” he responded, energized by his chat with her.
“What I tell you about callin’ me that?” she snapped.
John shouted, bouncing down the hallway, “Come on now, ‘Tray,’ we too cool for that!”
Tracy smiled and walked into the lunch room expecting to tell Jantel who liked her. It was noisy as usual, and Jantel was nowhere in sight. Tracy then sat by herself, happy that she was able to give John good advice. She began to picture herself as a mentor. I have been through enough to advise people, she thought.
“So Tracy, how was school today?” Patti asked.
“The same as always,” Tracy answered. She sat watching Sanford & Son with a long face.
Patti said, “You haven’t been excitable these last couple of days as you usually are. Is something bothering you?”
“Yup, mom. Life is long and boring sometimes,” Tracy answered, falling back into the couch with a long sigh. “Sometimes I just wish that I was older already.”
“Well, don’t let a couple of rotten days spoil your weeks, because it’s always a better day coming,” her mother perked.
That’s easy for you to say. You got my dad back, Tracy thought. “What if dad didn’t come back?” she asked with a nervous smile.
Patti stared at her. “Then we’d be living in Chestnut Hill somewhere,” she revealed.
Tracy was shocked. “For real, mom? You would have moved us out?”
Patti didn’t blink. “That’s right. One monkey don’t stop no show.”
Tracy laughed. “Are you calling dad a monkey?”
Her mother smiled and said, “If the shoe fits . . .”
“But I like this house,” Tracy told her.
“You think I don’t? But it was time for your father to either do right, or do wrong somewhere the hell else,” she fumed. “And I should have made up my mind about that years ago. But you know what they say, ‘If I would have known then what I know now, I woulda’, coulda’, shoulda’.
“All of my little girlfriends told me that I could never keep your father anyway,” Patti alluded. “They all thought that he would have chosen ‘an educated college girl.’ But he didn’t.”
“Is it really that hard to keep a guy that you really like?” Tracy decided to ask. She had yet to experience pressures over losing any of her boyfriends. Outside of her fling with Victor, she had been the elusive one. She refused to count Charles. I let him go so he could do what he wanted to do, she told herself. Charles would have stayed with me if I told him to.
Patti gave some deep thought to the question. “You know, everyone wishes that they could just fall in love with the right person and remain happy, but it just doesn’t work that way. Things change, people change, and some of us just get plain bored and aggravated by the stress in relationships.”
Patti tried to sum everything up, but she couldn’t find the right words. “Oh, I don’t know, girl. Everything is confusing in this world anyway. I’m just glad that your father and I have been able to work things out, for the time being.”
Tracy grimaced. “Are y’all still having problems?”
Patti shrugged. “Well, you never know, Tracy. I mean, it’s only been a few months now.” She then returned to the kitchen to cook dinner.
Tracy thought that her mother liked to cook. Patti would cook a different meal nearly every night. Cooking had, in fact, become a hobby for Patti during the years of Dave’s absence. She could practically run her own restaurant with all of the different recipes she had experimented with. She had even made platters for her friends and co-workers from many of their leftovers. “That Patti sure can cook, girl,” they had all agreed.
Overwhelmed with boredom, Tracy went back to her room to stretch out, napping for three hours. She had low energy and was in need of a rest.
Once nighttime had fallen, she decided to sit out on the patio and watch the stars. It didn’t matter that she had no male companion. The stars, the moon and nature seemed company enough. Tracy felt at peace with the night. It had soothed her anxiety. She smiled, sitting there on her steps and thinking about how relaxed she felt. The elements of the night seemed to tell her not to worry. Tracy then decided to call Carl and start things anew, like a new day, after the nighttime had passed by.
“Hello, is this Carl?” she asked, pulling the living-room phone outside with her.
“Yes,” he answered.
“You didn’t think I would call you back?”
“I was hoping that you would.”
“Oh, so you couldn’t call me, hunh?” she quizzed him.
“Well,
I mean, you were the one who started up the argument.”
Yeah, he’s right, she reflected. Tracy then asked him slowly, as if teasing him, “You don’t wanna talk to me anymore?”
“Why are you putting words in my mouth? I didn’t tell you that.”
“Well, do you?”
Carl smiled and said, “Nope. I just want to take you out to the movies.”
“And what we gonna do after that?” Tracy quizzed him again.
“Say good-bye,” Carl responded to her with a chuckle.
Tracy sighed as a slight wind blew through her thick dyed hair. “That’s a shame. And I thought you said you liked me.”
“I do, but you’re too complicated, so we’ll just remain friends from now on.”
Tracy wanted to snap on him, but the peace of the night directed her to be calm. There would be another day.
“All right then. When do you wanna go?” she asked.
Carl was surprised by her mellowness. “Are you serious?”
Tracy answered, beaming, “Yup, I’m serious.”
“Oh, well, we can go out this Friday, then.”
Tracy agreed and hung up just as her father headed up the walkway, coming home from work.
“Nice night out, hunh?” he asked her pleasantly. He looked beat, and Tracy wasn’t sure if it was work or the strain of coming back to the family and being a live-in father again.
“Are you all right, dad?” she asked, concerned about his happiness. She followed him back into the house with the phone in hand.
“Yeah, I’m just tired, as usual.”
“Does the pharmacy take that much out of you?”
“No, not really. I just have to work a lot of crazy different shifts. But why do you ask?”
“Well, I guess I’m just not used to seeing you so tired, that’s all.”
Dave smiled and had a seat on the couch. “You remember when you were a little girl and you used to fall asleep right here on my chest?” he asked, pointing to the spot.
Tracy nodded. “Yeah, I remember.”
He chuckled to himself, remembering the times. Things aren’t so bad here. This is a good family, he told himself. “Where’s your mother?” he asked his daughter.